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footstepsfrom#27
07-09-2010, 01:42 AM
Mods...if you wouldn't mind sticky'n this please I'd appreciate it.

Sports, when you get right down to it...isn't that important is it?

Yesterday, July 8th...I lost my mom to Ovarian Cancer after a grueling 9 month fight she finally lost. She refused the surgery which "might" have saved her, but more probably would have killed her on the operating table at her age so she could live in her own home instead of a hospital. I was prepared as much as possible a month ago when I allowed myself to grieve, and because I know beyond a doubt where she is now, I'm actually handling this pretty well, but my sister and dad are not. Brenda has been bursting into tears with regularity, while my dad...ex military guy...an emotionally stoic man who I've seen shed a tear only twice in his life...has also been doing so.

I know some of you can relate and maybe you wouldn't mind saying a prayer for them or offering a word for me.

A little about her...

My mother was the strongest, most amazing woman I've ever known. For half a century she faithfully fulfilled her role as the glue that kept our family together through every kind of trial and tribulation. Mom was fiercely independent and refused to leave her home with my dad even at age 88 until the last 4 days of her life even while she had dementia and started forgetting so much. She fought for life like a warrior all the way till the very end. With my sister living in Washington and me in Texas, she kept her condition secret from us until only a month ago when my dad could no longer care for her...this is a man who still mows his own lawn and shovels snow at age 87, but this was to much for him. It would have been to much for anyone...she needed round the clock care and skilled nursing.

I was blessed to be prayng with her as she slipped away yesterday morning at 9:35 am in a hospice here in Denver...something I'll always have with me now...a moment I think I will cling to for the rest of my own life.

She was born into abject rural poverty in a small town called Sydney Nebraska in 1921, and lived through the Great Depression, later telling us the stories...how one could buy 4 loaves of bread for a quarter...if only one had a quarter...of lines of men standing for hours for a couple of potatoes, how she worked her first job and earned a single dollar for an entire week's work.

But mom never let adversity stand in her way. She and her mother and younger sister were abandoned by her father at age 2, so mom helped her own mother throughout her life, first working long hours on a tiny farm milking cows at age 6, and later working and going to school at the same time, taking in laundry and cooking for boarders who rented a room in their home, that sort of thing...until she finally married at age 37, long after most women in that era had done so. Much later in the 70's when my grandmother's health failed from Alzheimers, she nursed her for 3 years in our home as she died. I never heard a complaint come out of her mouth.

My mom was a gorgeous woman with classical movie star looks when she was young. She'd was also a true scholar athlete in high school, earning Validictorian honors at Boulder HS while starting at forward on her girls basketball team. Becasue she'd been at Boulder only a year she was denied the scholarship however and never got to attend college, which was her dream...something she regretted all her life. I think it made her prouder to see her kids earn degrees though. She was always there for us...always.

She was an incredible cook as well, with literally thousands of homeade recipes she wrote out in long hand or typed on an old beat up typewriter and they filled an entire bookcase with binders she stored them in. As a kid one of my best childhood memories was coming home from football practice in the cold Colorado air and often being met by the smell of homeade bread baking in her kitchen. She cooked home cooked meals almost every night of my life growing up...there was literally nothing she couldn't make, often seemingly from thin air. She also knew the value of a dollar and even in our middle class family she never wasted a dime. We used to laugh about her driving 5 miles out of her way to save a nickle on a gallon of milk with a coupon or the hated garage sales she always tried to drag me to on one of her eternal searches for bargains.

My dad was not an easy man to live with by any standard...she did so with grace and incredible perseverance even as he often failed to return to her the love she gave him. Throughout her life she insilled in us kids the values we still have today...those she took from the pages of an old Bible with a dogeared cover that was marked almost to the point of being illegible in places. In her church she taught 4th grade girls sunday school classes for 25 years. If she ever missed a week I don't remember it. Everything good in me...it came from her.

I will miss her more than I imagine I'm sure of that, but I know it wasn't goodbye, but rather only goodnight. I love you mom...you were the greatest ever, and I've been incredibly blessed to be your son.

Ugly Duck
07-09-2010, 01:46 AM
Yo, FootStep.... I lost a mate to ovarian cancer & it was a real heart breaker. Made me sad all over again just to read your story. Nothing for me to say but I'm sorry for your entire posse... its serious hurting time.

theAPAOps5
07-09-2010, 01:51 AM
Hang in there Footsteps. Losing your mother has to be the hardest thing you go through next to losing your spouse. Like you said she is on a new journey and one that eventually you will get to join her on long down the road.

A great man once said, "Tough times never last, but tough people do"

Archer81
07-09-2010, 01:55 AM
Requiescat in pace


:Broncos:

Blueflame
07-09-2010, 01:56 AM
Very sorry to hear of your loss, Footsteps... and prayers for you and your family.

SouthStndJunkie
07-09-2010, 03:53 AM
Sorry to hear about your loss, Footsteps.

Thanks for sharing the memories of your mother with us.

Sounds like your mother was a wonderful person who lived 88 full years and cared for her family for every one of them.

People need to cherish every moment they get to spend with their family....your parents won't be around forever....savor every day you get to spend with them.

Garcia Bronco
07-09-2010, 04:49 AM
Sorry footsteps. No one will love you like your mother does. I still miss mine everyday. Here is to yours. God Bless.

Garcia Bronco
07-09-2010, 04:51 AM
Requiescat in pace


:Broncos:

New one this Nov Ezio

rodr88
07-09-2010, 05:15 AM
Footsteps,
I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. Cancer sucks, no other way to put it. Like most of us I've lost too many good people in my life to that disease.
You and your family are in our prayers.
Rod

crawdad
07-09-2010, 05:24 AM
I was touched in reading your post. My mother is suffering from dimentia/alzheimers now and cannot live at home. Bless you my brother. Your mother smiles down on you!

bronclvr
07-09-2010, 05:51 AM
footsteps,

Your post was truly touching. You were right-it's not goodbye, it's a brief parting, you'll see her again. My Mom was like your Mom, and touched every one she met-women are the life blood and soul of this world.

As for you, the memories, and who you are can never be taken away-the strength, morals and values she had is in you-I'm so sorry for your loss-My Mom's been gone 29 Years now, and not a day goes by that I don't cherish the memories-

ColoradoDarin
07-09-2010, 06:03 AM
I'm sorry for your loss, my prayers for you and your family.

Hogan11
07-09-2010, 06:05 AM
Very sorry to hear of this, my condolences to you and yours. May your memories give you strength during this time.

azbroncfan
07-09-2010, 06:56 AM
Sorry to hear this footsteps. Hang in there buddy my condolences and prayers will be thinking of you.

Broncos123
07-09-2010, 07:02 AM
Very Sorry, your mom sounds like a Great Lady. You have been lucky to have been raised by her. May time lessen your pain for you and your family especially your Dad and sister.

Dudeskey
07-09-2010, 07:04 AM
sorry for your loss, man. I can only imagine what you & your family are going through. http://www.proxywhore.com/invboard/style_emoticons/default/candle.gif

Cleo McDowell
07-09-2010, 07:16 AM
Sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences...

HEAV
07-09-2010, 07:24 AM
Stay strong.

Los Broncos
07-09-2010, 07:35 AM
I'm very sorry to hear this Footsteps, losing anyone close to you is hard.

My mother isn't in good health as well and it sucks she doesn't care either.

Thoughts and prayers to you and your mother.

Dukes
07-09-2010, 07:38 AM
Sorry for your loss Footsteps. Hang in there man.

Captain 'Dre
07-09-2010, 08:50 AM
You only ever have ONE Mom, and you were blessed to have one you loved and respected so greatly.

Condolences on your loss, man.

Pick Six
07-09-2010, 09:15 AM
I got a lump in my throat after reading that post. I can't imagine what you are feeling, right now. Fortunately, I still have both of my parents. However, I know that day will come. I hope I'm as strong as you, Footsteps.

rbackfactory80
07-09-2010, 09:30 AM
Very inspirational Footsteps. Sometimes I feel I take my parents for granted. I wish you and your family best in healing over such a loss.

bronco610
07-09-2010, 09:36 AM
Very well written footsteps. Prayers to you and your family.

gunns
07-09-2010, 09:50 AM
How wonderful the memories you have and how lucky you are to have had her. Yes it's only for a moment your separation and imagine her joy and the reunion she's having. My prayers for your dad, sounds like he wasn't overtly emotional and this reality has struck him to the core. Let him grieve. My prayers to keep you all strong.

BMF Bronco
07-09-2010, 10:05 AM
My heart and prayers go out to you and your family brother. Cancer is a horrible plight and I pray that someday we'll have a cure. You did your mom very well in a well written, very respectable memorial, thank you for sharing. God bless!

Smiling Assassin27
07-09-2010, 10:07 AM
Prayers and condolences for you and your family. May she rest in peace and may those she touched recall her with love.

ant1999e
07-09-2010, 10:26 AM
Condolences. God bless you and your family.

lookin' glass
07-09-2010, 10:47 AM
Peace of heart and mind to you and your family Footsteps.

Irish Stout
07-09-2010, 10:48 AM
My prayers are with you footsteps... It was a very moving post. There is nothing more that I can give you other than to let you know almost all of us here in the Omane community are behind you. I wish you and your family nothing but good things from here on out.

Kaylore
07-09-2010, 10:54 AM
Prayers and condolences, Footsteps. Some things are much bigger than sports and family and death are certainly among those.

DomCasual
07-09-2010, 11:18 AM
I'm sure she's proud of the legacy she's left. Hang in there.

summerdenver
07-09-2010, 12:25 PM
That was a wonderful tribute to your mom footer. She sounds like an amazing woman. My heartfelt condolences on your loss.

crush17
07-09-2010, 12:46 PM
condolances...
i can't even read your whole post it chokes me up too much.

FADERPROOF
07-09-2010, 05:48 PM
Very sad to hear about your loss, you and your family will be on my mind.

Ray Finkle
07-09-2010, 06:48 PM
Sorry for your loss.

SoCalBronco
07-09-2010, 06:53 PM
Wow..that is terrible.

My prayers are with you, Footsteps. You have my deepest condolences. I am very sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine what it would be like to lose my mom. I will definitely keep you in my prayers.

:(

Broncofan_H
07-09-2010, 07:15 PM
Sorry about your loss, Footsteps. It sucks, I know.

My mom died in 2006 after a couple years battle with COPD. She was only 54. I still feel cheated out of some great years of her watching her grandkids grow up. Remember her fondly, and I would print the post you made in this thread to hang onto. It's good to go back and remember your feelings at this time. I made a similar post when my mom died, but the website is no longer around and I have no record of it.

Take care, and I'm sorry.

Steve Prefontaine
07-09-2010, 07:26 PM
Sorry to hear Footstep. Condolences to you and your family.

Also, thanks for sharing. I'm it was tough to write.

footstepsfrom#27
07-09-2010, 07:28 PM
Thanks for all the kind words folks. I'm just glad my mom got as much time as she did and she got to see her grandkids grow up into teenage years at least. Now I'm wondering how long my dad will be around without her...probably not long.

On a side note, for anyone who has to find hospice care for a loved one, I can't say enough good things about the people at Collier Hospice Center in Wheatridge, which is at the Lutheran Medical Center out there. These people were unreal in their dedication and my mom got world class care every moment she was there. They never stopped trying to make things better and treated her like the Queen of England.

Thanks again for your support and prayers.

Archer81
07-09-2010, 08:21 PM
Thanks for all the kind words folks. I'm just glad my mom got as much time as she did and she got to see her grandkids grow up into teenage years at least. Now I'm wondering how long my dad will be around without her...probably not long.

On a side note, for anyone who has to find hospice care for a loved one, I can't say enough good things about the people at Collier Hospice Center in Wheatridge, which is at the Lutheran Medical Center out there. These people were unreal in their dedication and my mom got world class care every moment she was there. They never stopped trying to make things better and treated her like the Queen of England.

Thanks again for your support and prayers.


100% this. My grandfather passed from lung, liver and bone cancer and the hospice care was unbelieveably good. Supremely capable people and they helped get my grandmother, mom and aunt ready for what was going to happen.

:Broncos:

broncosteven
07-10-2010, 09:32 AM
My thoughts are with you and your family.

Wish you peace.

JCMElway
07-10-2010, 09:49 AM
Great post footsteps. I lost my Mother six years ago, so I have some idea of what you are feeling. My thoughts go out to you and yours.

bpc
07-10-2010, 11:35 AM
Thoughts and prayers with you and yours Footsteps. Hang in there!

broncswin
07-10-2010, 12:36 PM
stay strong through this, you will see her soon enough as time here is a mere wink of the eye compared to the eterenity in heaven.

Broncoman13
07-10-2010, 02:39 PM
Your mother left you with the greatest of memories that is something you can hang on to forever... she truly sounds like a great woman and if you can say that she is the reason for your success and what is good in your life... be thankful that she was able to be with you for 88 years and left you with all that you have. We should all hope to have that same affect on our children and that they too will look back at us like you look back on your mom. Congratulations for having such a great appreciation and understanding for someone that gave so much of their life for all of us. Prayers for you and your family. There is nothing more difficult than grieving a loss of a loved one, but remember, if she wouldn't have impacted your life the way she has, there would be nothing to grieve. Good luck and live to those same standards she lived to...

Thanks for the background on your mom too, makes those of us that still have our parents around realize that we need to appreciate them all we can, while we can.

Houshyamama
07-10-2010, 04:02 PM
Sorry to hear brother.

ghwk
07-10-2010, 10:20 PM
Beautiful write up Footsteps, my prayers go out to you and your family. Hope your Dad and Sister both find joy in her memory.

sutoazul
07-13-2010, 04:28 PM
Sorry for your loss footsteps. I was really touched by your post and it sounds like your mom was an extraordinary woman. Thoughts are with you and your family.

Florida_Bronco
07-14-2010, 06:23 PM
I just saw this. My deepest sympathies man.

Hold your head high.

crazyhorse
08-03-2010, 05:27 PM
Im reading this for the 1st time.

I just wanted to say that i can really feel the impact she had on you, and how that is the best tribute you can give someone, IMO.

I hope someone remembers me the way you will remember her.

Im sorry that you lost someone that close to you.

orange 4 life
08-20-2010, 03:55 PM
Footsteps,

Your post had me in tears and I can relate to your feelings.
My mother had Hodgkins in 1975 while she was pregnant with my sister. Was told to abort the child or she'd have a 1 in 500 chance (at best) of survival.
She and my sister both made it.
Then in '90 she had breast cancer. Beat that one too.
Finally in '99 she got lung cancer (mind you this is a woman who didn't smoke or drink and exercised daily) and died on 4/20/99. Same day as the horror at Columbine.

My father (who we all thought would stay single being that my mom was his high school sweetheart) found a wonderful woman a few years ago and remarried.
Now she has a terminal illness (amyloidosis) and just went through a 2nd bone marrow transplant.

Point is I can relate to your pain. I'm here anytime if you want to talk.

Jake

footstepsfrom#27
08-20-2010, 11:34 PM
Footsteps,

Your post had me in tears and I can relate to your feelings.
My mother had Hodgkins in 1975 while she was pregnant with my sister. Was told to abort the child or she'd have a 1 in 500 chance (at best) of survival.
She and my sister both made it.
Then in '90 she had breast cancer. Beat that one too.
Finally in '99 she got lung cancer (mind you this is a woman who didn't smoke or drink and exercised daily) and died on 4/20/99. Same day as the horror at Columbine.

My father (who we all thought would stay single being that my mom was his high school sweetheart) found a wonderful woman a few years ago and remarried.
Now she has a terminal illness (amyloidosis) and just went through a 2nd bone marrow transplant.

Point is I can relate to your pain. I'm here anytime if you want to talk.

Jake
I'm sorry for your loss as well. Thanks for the invitation, it's much appreciated. Life is short, sweet and precious and we ought to spend it in the continuous awareness of that fact...no doubt. I really am moved by how many people on this board reached out to me...thanks to all of you.

Bronx33
08-30-2010, 05:11 PM
Sounds like a real classy lady footsteps you should be proud. (sorry about the late response) and i hope you're doing well losing a loved one is never easy.

Jesus
09-05-2010, 09:23 AM
I was blessed to be prayng with her as she slipped away yesterday morning at 9:35 am in a hospice here in Denver...something I'll always have with me now...a moment I think I will cling to for the rest of my own life.

I am a carpenter working at the home a nurse, her name is Joan.

Joan and I managed to find ourselves in the middle of a conversation regarding how people slip away (some for hours) only to return back again to their lifeless body.

Lifes' existence is clearly independant of the body.

Life is a gift, the body however is not. Adam was given a body based on the the agreement he be obedient; his disobediance terminated the lease.

The eviction proccess was suspended by grace for the purpose of the regeneration of man: for procreation.

God is prolife. The gift of life, though we can facilitate it, it is however not our choice to make. Conventional wisdom suggests terminating the gift of life is a choice rather than a death sentence. but I digress.

Life comes, and life goes on.

The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit.



She was born into abject rural poverty in a small town called Sydney Nebraska in 1921, and lived through the Great Depression...

Becasue she'd been at Boulder only a year she was denied the scholarship however and never got to attend college, which was her dream...something she regretted all her life. I think it made her prouder to see her kids earn degrees though. She was always there for us...always.

She was an incredible cook as well, with literally thousands of homeade recipes she wrote out

Thank you for sharing the spirit of your mother with us all. In life we all have regrets, for your mother it was not having a college career, but I imagine she would have much more regretted not having the opportunity to be able to have a career rearing such outstanding children.

So many here have shared their consolations for your loss, but I find myself hardpressed to doing so considering very few in this world have managed to gain such an incredible mother as you have had.

Her burden here was lifted, and her incredible legacy was not about to be overshadowed with being a burden prior to her entering into peace, while we remain in at war. She fought the good fight, and went off into glory as a champion.

Though she be absent from the body, her spirit will clearly be with you always... Thank you for sharing her spirit with us, now how about a few of those recipes...:Elway:

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