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TheChamp24
04-27-2010, 11:25 AM
Okay, I'm in the process of making a decision in my life, and need some advice.

I am currently living in Texas, and I hate it here, only reason I moved here was to be near my family. However, there are family issues and I really want to move away.
First, let me say I got involved with a great woman, and we got engaged not too long ago. She moved here in Texas to be with me, but alas, she hates it here too. Now, I don't want to get in too many details, but she had a terrible childhood that caused her to have to drop out of high school, but is set on getting a GED to get into college. She is 22, and I am 25 with a Bachelor's in Accounting from University of Oklahoma. I have an okay job for a private company here, but could definitely get a better one with the economy picking up. She hasn't had a job because she continues to get hired at a place and either not like it, or the pay/hours are **** and no use working it for getting the price back to cover the gas.
Also, she has a 4 year old daughter, so makes it tougher.
Now, she comes from the East Coast, Myrtle Beach, SC. She is very easy-going, comfortable and I'll say "care-free". Most people over there are. Well, she tells me we can move to Myrtle Beach, cut our expenses down, she can easily get a job as a server, and she has contacts and a staffing agency that can get me a job in a month. Basically, become financially stable because we aren't here.
Now, my parents/family will be upset due to the fact that I am leaving a job, known income, to go someplace where there is no guarantee, and also have no money.

I know I'm leaving some stuff out, but basically, I want to hear what other people think of moving out there, which she wants to do in June, for what she feels is the right thing to do, and will make us stable and happy.

TheReverend
04-27-2010, 11:28 AM
Break up. Dead serious.

Rohirrim
04-27-2010, 11:28 AM
At the age of 25, you can take some gambles. Follow your heart.

SureShot
04-27-2010, 11:30 AM
Break up. Dead serious.

Interesting....

loborugger
04-27-2010, 11:31 AM
At the age of 25, you can take some gambles. Follow your heart.

This... no kids, no mortgage, not much to lose. Almost assuredly you wont do it when you are 45.

Mr.Meanie
04-27-2010, 11:31 AM
Honestly some of my best decisions in life have been diving head first into something completely unknown. If you have a partner who is the way you describe, this kind of move would likely improve your relationship even if there are some tough times initially.

Take the plunge, and don't live with regret for not doing something that could potentially be great, or out of fear of the unknown. IMO.

jhns
04-27-2010, 11:33 AM
Personally, I wouldn't be able to just pick up and go without getting a job first. If you can, I would suggest looking for a job out there before moving. If you are lucky, you will find one that pays for the move as well. That would also make it so your family doesn't have to worry about you leaving your current job.

DomCasual
04-27-2010, 11:33 AM
Well, I'll tell you that I love Myrtle Beach. Of course, I've only been there for a handful of vacations, so living there would probably be a lot different. But I love that place!

That said, you had better be pretty darn sure the relationship is going to work before you go out there.

Bronco Boy
04-27-2010, 11:37 AM
Get a job before you move, not after.

no-pseudo-fan
04-27-2010, 11:38 AM
Why not take some time off, a week or so, and go down to South Carolina. See for yourself what it is or isn't. What your job opportunities might be, salaries, general cost of living things.

Get all the information. Think it over critically, taking her out of the situation.

What is best for you?
Will I be happier here or there?

Things change in a hurry, and if you are moving to make someone else happy it will not turn out well.

Chris
04-27-2010, 11:39 AM
Do you really want to take on this burden? Are you doing this for the girl or for you?

If you were to move I would secure a job before moving.

PRBronco
04-27-2010, 11:39 AM
How long have you been with the lady? I don't like the part about her not working...without knowing the whole story, it sounds like you might be being taken advantage of.

TheReverend
04-27-2010, 11:42 AM
Interesting....

No brainer, imo.

"She hasn't had a job because she continues to get hired at a place and either not like it"

"Also, she has a 4 year old daughter, so makes it tougher."

"Now, I don't want to get in too many details, but she had a terrible childhood that caused her to have to drop out of high school"

Three key sentences. I'm sure she had rough circumstances as you said, but now she has a 4 year old and apparently lacks the responsibility to even put a solid effort into independently taking care of her child. You can try and blow that off as another reason to where she feels comfortable moving, but uprooting your own life (which it sounds like you have YOUR **** together, albeit probably a little blinded by emotion) on a chance she matures is absurd.

Side note: Unrelated to the previous point, but something that sounds like it's true. You may be being used. A relationship should be based on mutual respect, not by being Captain Save-A-Ho. That may or may not pertain to you, but take a step back and a close look at who you are and the reality of your relationship before doing ANYTHING.

So much more goes into this... what are your families opinions? Is this relationship what caused stress between you and your family? Do you feel the relationship is healthy, or is moving an option partly because you think it will heal part of the relationship?

hades
04-27-2010, 11:43 AM
I moved to Texas only knowing my first wife, her family was here, mine in Colorado. I've lived here since 1985 now!

OABB
04-27-2010, 11:43 AM
are the "issues" with your family related to her in anyway?

Grumps
04-27-2010, 11:45 AM
Don't leave your current job without having something solid lined up first.

Garcia Bronco
04-27-2010, 11:45 AM
I think you'd be a fool to move to SC. It's a dump. Every last part of it. Look at other places. You are the "bread winner". She can be a server anywhere. Literally. Your ability to generate income is of greater importance. Look at Denver. Higher cost of living, but you'll earn more wealth, her kid will get a better education, you'll have more options as far as job opportunities. Most importantly you don't have to make it happen today. It'll take time to fund the right opportunity no matter where you go.

People that jump in head first usually don't have a bucket to piss in nor a window to throw it out of.

HAT
04-27-2010, 11:45 AM
No brainer, imo.

"She hasn't had a job because she continues to get hired at a place and either not like it"

"Also, she has a 4 year old daughter, so makes it tougher."

"Now, I don't want to get in too many details, but she had a terrible childhood that caused her to have to drop out of high school"

Three key sentences. I'm sure she had rough circumstances as you said, but now she has a 4 year old and apparently lacks the responsibility to even put a solid effort into independently taking care of her child. You can try and blow that off as another reason to where she feels comfortable moving, but uprooting your own life (which it sounds like you have YOUR **** together, albeit probably a little blinded by emotion) on a chance she matures is absurd.

Side note: Unrelated to the previous point, but something that sounds like it's true. You may be being used. A relationship should be based on mutual respect, not by being Captain Save-A-Ho. That may or may not pertain to you, but take a step back and a close look at who you are and the reality of your relationship before doing ANYTHING.

So much more goes into this... what are your families opinions? Is this relationship what caused stress between you and your family? Do you feel the relationship is healthy, or is moving an option partly because you think it will heal part of the relationship?

Spot on.....Leykis 101.

Also note that in the OP he says..."I got involved with" as opposed to "Fell in love with".

Miss I.
04-27-2010, 11:46 AM
I have some thoughts on this:
1. yes, live with no regrets, if this is what you feel is the best for you then do it.
2. However, be at least a little pragmatic, you need to have a job before you move to a part of the country you have never lived before. She could move ahead and find a place and a job for herself before you get there and you could tie up loose ends in TX.

I have leapt often without looking and have been lucky, but I have also ended up in places where misery and backstabbing kissarses reigned. I am happier now in England then I was in Denver, but that had less to do with Denver (which is a city I loved) and more to do with certain logistics I hadn't overcome (2.5 to 3 hours commuting from CoS where my house was).

On the other hand don't let yourself be overwhelmed by the details in planning because in the end all of those can be dealt with. I almost backed off moving to England for that reason and am glad I didn't. In the end if what you have to gain by moving is more than what you have by staying, you have your answer.

Addendum: I do concur with the idea that the move has to be about you, not just her. I am not going to put judgment on who she may or may not be, but this decision needs to be one you want, not just something to make her happy.

That One Guy
04-27-2010, 11:50 AM
Maybe having her go forth first to get a job would soften the blow of transition.

Seek happiness without a doubt. Live a little.

Whoops, Ms I beat me to my idea... thanks for pullin' the rug out. No contribution here, move along...

ScottXray
04-27-2010, 11:50 AM
Don't leave your current job without having something solid lined up first.

+1 ...economy is getting better, but it still aint there yet. Jobs are still tough to find, and housing is probably gonna be higher there (resort community) than Texas.

Just look before you leap!

crush17
04-27-2010, 11:52 AM
Move to Denver IMO.
You won't be disappointed.

TheChamp24
04-27-2010, 11:53 AM
The issues are not solely on her. There were bad things said by my mom to my brother's wife, and my family likes to think themselves up and be elitist. My fiance' comes from a poor upbringing, that barely scraps by and basically, my family thinks she isn't good enough for me. I love her, and hate the attitude of my family. Heck, my brother flat out told me not to put my fiance's daughter in the daycare he uses for his kids, with the hint that it would "corrupt" them.

This is the reason why I posted this, because I wanted thoughts on people who I know would give different opinions based on the ones I've heard already.

She was adopted by the way, and her "mom" was 50 years old when she got her and died when she was 15, and her mom left her with basically everything. Well, she had step-siblings who were twice her age, and hated her. Needless to say, a 15 year old can't get inheritance until 18 I believe, and her siblings took her in, got what they wanted from her, and kicked her to the curb and forced her to drop out. That is what happened.

Also, we have no means of taking a week off, and flying there to spend a week, we simply don't have the money to do so. We would have enough to get there, and get set up with a roommate friend(female) and get to work.

Taco John
04-27-2010, 11:55 AM
At the age of 25, you can take some gambles. Follow your heart.

Agreed. Nothing to do here but follow your heart. You parctically have nothing to lose at this age, and everything to gain.

TheChamp24
04-27-2010, 11:56 AM
Also, to add, I would ****in love moving back to Colorado, and being in Denver. However, I don't think we'd have the money to do that, not yet anyway.

TheReverend
04-27-2010, 11:56 AM
I think this is the best advice you could possibly get.

Step 1: Make a clean break now (or just trick her into it by telling her you'll move to SC with her, have her go first while your "2 weeks notice" goes through, and just change your phone number)

Step 2: Have some fun. Texas has an assload of pretty girls and you're only 25. Relax, go out, and play, BUT...

Step 3: Save as much money as humanly possible. Go out, but don't be stupid. Have a girlfriend or three, but don't be stupid. Save as much money as humanly possible.

Step 4: Hit up ak about helping you put together a solid investment portfolio and pour every penny you can manage into it over the next year or two.

Step 5: You're 27, with good memories, and flatout ballin, with the financial freedom and more life experience to decide what and where you want to do with the rest of your life.

FantomForce
04-27-2010, 11:57 AM
Happy Wife = Happy Life , you don't have to give everything up. But if you explain to her that you are more than willing to look for a job and when one is found you wouldn't mind moving I think she will be fine, but make sure and live up to your part

TheReverend
04-27-2010, 11:57 AM
The issues are not solely on her. There were bad things said by my mom to my brother's wife, and my family likes to think themselves up and be elitist. My fiance' comes from a poor upbringing, that barely scraps by and basically, my family thinks she isn't good enough for me. I love her, and hate the attitude of my family. Heck, my brother flat out told me not to put my fiance's daughter in the daycare he uses for his kids, with the hint that it would "corrupt" them.

This is the reason why I posted this, because I wanted thoughts on people who I know would give different opinions based on the ones I've heard already.

She was adopted by the way, and her "mom" was 50 years old when she got her and died when she was 15, and her mom left her with basically everything. Well, she had step-siblings who were twice her age, and hated her. Needless to say, a 15 year old can't get inheritance until 18 I believe, and her siblings took her in, got what they wanted from her, and kicked her to the curb and forced her to drop out. That is what happened.

Also, we have no means of taking a week off, and flying there to spend a week, we simply don't have the money to do so. We would have enough to get there, and get set up with a roommate friend(female) and get to work.

Knew the bad blood with the family was related back to her.

You're on a one-way ticket to self-loathing. Don't be stupid.

MrPeepers
04-27-2010, 12:01 PM
dropped out of high school, dead set on getting a GED (why isnt it already done if its that important) 4 yo kid. cant keep a job because she doesn't like it.

now, she says no problem i know someone who will get you hired and you trust that?

and your leaving your accounting job?

2 things,

1. this is not a girl i would keep if you value your long term prospects just based on behavior.

2. if you are dead set on being with her, it's easier to get a job when your employed, keep your job and apply, do not quit, especially with her as the backup plan.

Grumps
04-27-2010, 12:02 PM
The issues are not solely on her. There were bad things said by my mom to my brother's wife, and my family likes to think themselves up and be elitist. My fiance' comes from a poor upbringing, that barely scraps by and basically, my family thinks she isn't good enough for me. I love her, and hate the attitude of my family. Heck, my brother flat out told me not to put my fiance's daughter in the daycare he uses for his kids, with the hint that it would "corrupt" them.

This is the reason why I posted this, because I wanted thoughts on people who I know would give different opinions based on the ones I've heard already.

She was adopted by the way, and her "mom" was 50 years old when she got her and died when she was 15, and her mom left her with basically everything. Well, she had step-siblings who were twice her age, and hated her. Needless to say, a 15 year old can't get inheritance until 18 I believe, and her siblings took her in, got what they wanted from her, and kicked her to the curb and forced her to drop out. That is what happened.

Also, we have no means of taking a week off, and flying there to spend a week, we simply don't have the money to do so. We would have enough to get there, and get set up with a roommate friend(female) and get to work.

If/when you get married, my advice on the family part is to let them deal with it. Your wife needs to come first and foremost. If they can't handle that, then it is on them. Putting anything before your wife will result in an unhappy, and most likely, failed marriage.

DrFate
04-27-2010, 12:02 PM
"She hasn't had a job because she continues to get hired at a place and either not like it"

People don't typically work because it's 'fun' - they work because they have bills to pay. Now you shouldn't stay working somewhere you are miserable - but the whole 'I didn't like it' at multiple places is a red flag. Have your girl get a job and KEEP IT for six months - THEN start making 'us' plans. Moving across country with nothing lined up is asking for disaster (you begging to move into your parent's basement, or the like)

Also - 'she's going to get her GED' is the equivalent of 'she hasn't gotten her GED'. She's certainly had the time, considering her age. A lot of people are 'thinking of going back' or 'really committed to getting a degree' or whatever.

Rohirrim
04-27-2010, 12:03 PM
Unfortunately, love does not conquer all. Except in the movies.

TheChamp24
04-27-2010, 12:06 PM
I will say, that my current job is not an Accounting job, it is a Bookkepper job that pays $30,000 a year, which is why I said its okay, but I can do better. I mainly had to get it because of the economy, nobody would hire an inexperienced, recent grad.

DrFate
04-27-2010, 12:08 PM
I will say, that my current job is not an Accounting job, it is a Bookkepper job that pays $30,000 a year, which is why I said its okay, but I can do better. I mainly had to get it because of the economy, nobody would hire an inexperienced, recent grad.

Nothing is wrong with that job - fresh out of school, you have to start building your resume. That's normally how it works. The mistake is thinking you can support 3 mouths on that income and start making a life for yourself.

Bronco Yoda
04-27-2010, 12:08 PM
Do it.

You're young and have little to tie you down. You have an education that will allow you to work anywhere.

You only live once. If she's the most important thing to you... then there is little to lose and everything to gain. Your relationship will either cement from this or shatter from such stresses. Know this now and keep a plan B in your pocket.

She can take community college classes until she's up to speed to transfer to a university.

Don't let fear rule your life. You can do this. Two years from now you'll be looking back at this and wondering why you even thought twice about it.

Good luck my friend.

TheReverend
04-27-2010, 12:08 PM
I will say, that my current job is not an Accounting job, it is a Bookkepper job that pays $30,000 a year, which is why I said its okay, but I can do better. I mainly had to get it because of the economy, nobody would hire an inexperienced, recent grad.

So do better.

And I'm not just talking your job

http://www.glasshousepresents.com/Supe%20wink.jpg

Mr.Meanie
04-27-2010, 12:09 PM
I think this is the best advice you could possibly get.

Step 1: Make a clean break now (or just trick her into it by telling her you'll move to SC with her, have her go first while your "2 weeks notice" goes through, and just change your phone number)

Step 2: Have some fun. Texas has an assload of pretty girls and you're only 25. Relax, go out, and play, BUT...

Step 3: Save as much money as humanly possible. Go out, but don't be stupid. Have a girlfriend or three, but don't be stupid. Save as much money as humanly possible.

Step 4: Hit up ak about helping you put together a solid investment portfolio and pour every penny you can manage into it over the next year or two.

Step 5: You're 27, with good memories, and flatout ballin, with the financial freedom and more life experience to decide what and where you want to do with the rest of your life.

Step 3-5 are very good advice. Live below your means and pile up every dollar you can into an investment account. Don't invest it in a retirement account... use it as active capital to find good deals you can buy below market value. That's the true way, IMO, to financial freedom.

Anyways, ditching your fiance solely because of baggage is bad advice unless you don't really care for her. Bailing out on something or someone just because it's hard is the loser's way out. If she's "The One" then help her through her baggage and make it work. If not, then yes follow the above advice.

DomCasual
04-27-2010, 12:13 PM
I get the sense that you're looking more for affirmation than real advice. That's okay - we all do that. But I'll tell you what - even though a guy like Rev doesn't get much right, I think there's some truth to what he says.

I will counsel my son when he's ready to get married (he's 12, so it will hopefully be awhile). I'll counsel him on a lot of things - all of which I've learned through experience. If he was in your situation, I would gently try and steer him in a different direction. Marriage (or a long-term relationship) is hard under the best of circumstances. It's completely worthwhile, IMO - but it's a lot of work. The obstacles you've described create an environment that will make it even more difficult - I would argue it's close to impossible.

I realize you're not talking about marriage, necessarily. But the thought process is a lot the same, in your situation.

DomCasual
04-27-2010, 12:17 PM
Step 3-5 are very good advice. Live below your means and pile up every dollar you can into an investment account. Don't invest it in a retirement account... use it as active capital to find good deals you can buy below market value. That's the true way, IMO, to financial freedom.

Anyways, ditching your fiance solely because of baggage is bad advice unless you don't really care for her. Bailing out on something or someone just because it's hard is the loser's way out. If she's "The One" then help her through her baggage and make it work. If not, then yes follow the above advice.

I don't believe there is any such thing as "The One." I think there's a fairly large percentage of people with whom you can make it work, assuming both people are willing to put their full effort into it. But I digress.

TheReverend
04-27-2010, 12:18 PM
I get the sense that you're looking more for affirmation than real advice. That's okay - we all do that. But I'll tell you what - even though a guy like Rev doesn't get much right, I think there's some truth to what he says.

I will counsel my son when he's ready to get married (he's 12, so it will hopefully be awhile). I'll counsel him on a lot of things - all of which I've learned through experience. If he was in your situation, I would gently try and steer him in a different direction. Marriage (or a long-term relationship) is hard under the best of circumstances. It's completely worthwhile, IMO - but it's a lot of work. The obstacles you've described create an environment that will make it even more difficult - I would argue it's close to impossible.

I realize you're not talking about marriage, necessarily. But the thought process is a lot the same, in your situation.

http://imgur.com/VW5jo.jpg

That One Guy
04-27-2010, 12:21 PM
And when I was in the military, I saw a lot of people jump into marriages. Nothing makes you more dedicated to that other person than having absolutely noone else to turn to. It often times is deceiving and a mistake but they'll become your world as you have nothing else as an outlet to gauge. If your intent isn't already marriage, DEFINITELY run the other way.

Ray Finkle
04-27-2010, 12:24 PM
The Rev has a brash of of writing things but a lot of them are spot on.

You really need to evaluate your future with her. Are you settling for her or is she someone you can see yourself with 50 years down the road? If you don't know, your answer is already made.

The only issue I have is you are moving to an area that isolates you from your family (no matter how bad they are right now). Do you live together? if so, I would suggest you spend a little free time soul searching.

If you do move to SC (it's fun for about a week) then do not marry, promise to marry her, hint that you will marry her. Explain this is a trail process and you reserve the right (as she does) to walk away at any time.

Bronco Yoda
04-27-2010, 12:25 PM
Don't let these guys scare you. Trust your heart.

What do you have to lose? Your business...ummm no. Your house...umm no. If you're ever going to take a leap of faith, nows the time. It won't always be this easy to try something like this. Sooner than you think life will tie you down.

So what if you have to crawl home to the parents and start over. At least you would have tried. Is this your 'dream job'...doubtful.

robbieopperude
04-27-2010, 12:29 PM
The issues are not solely on her. There were bad things said by my mom to my brother's wife, and my family likes to think themselves up and be elitist. My fiance' comes from a poor upbringing, that barely scraps by and basically, my family thinks she isn't good enough for me. I love her, and hate the attitude of my family. Heck, my brother flat out told me not to put my fiance's daughter in the daycare he uses for his kids, with the hint that it would "corrupt" them.

This is the reason why I posted this, because I wanted thoughts on people who I know would give different opinions based on the ones I've heard already.

She was adopted by the way, and her "mom" was 50 years old when she got her and died when she was 15, and her mom left her with basically everything. Well, she had step-siblings who were twice her age, and hated her. Needless to say, a 15 year old can't get inheritance until 18 I believe, and her siblings took her in, got what they wanted from her, and kicked her to the curb and forced her to drop out. That is what happened.

Also, we have no means of taking a week off, and flying there to spend a week, we simply don't have the money to do so. We would have enough to get there, and get set up with a roommate friend(female) and get to work.

Something to think about but hasn't been mentioned yet is the situation the four year old will be put in. Is he/she in school? If so you really shouldn't move with only about a month or so of pre-school left. Also I would never move without having enough money in the bank to support a couple months of rent in case things happen. You should follow your heart but also be prepared financially. You are both young so I would take the risks now. I also like the advice about investigating communities to live in and also jobs before you leave. That stuff is very important. Also it concerns me that your gf can't hold down a job in Texas. If serving is the option she should be able to do that anywhere. I think some of the best economies right now are in Wyoming, North Dakota, Minnesota, South Dakota, Montana. The downside is you won't see much sand up here.

broncosteven
04-27-2010, 12:32 PM
I think this is the best advice you could possibly get.

Step 1: Make a clean break now (or just trick her into it by telling her you'll move to SC with her, have her go first while your "2 weeks notice" goes through, and just change your phone number)

Step 2: Have some fun. Texas has an assload of pretty girls and you're only 25. Relax, go out, and play, BUT...

Step 3: Save as much money as humanly possible. Go out, but don't be stupid. Have a girlfriend or three, but don't be stupid. Save as much money as humanly possible.

Step 4: Hit up ak about helping you put together a solid investment portfolio and pour every penny you can manage into it over the next year or two.

Step 5: You're 27, with good memories, and flatout ballin, with the financial freedom and more life experience to decide what and where you want to do with the rest of your life.

This!

And what Dom said.

Mend things up with your family, when you get in a pinch you will need your family, you are young yet. Save you dough and enjoy your life.

If you ever need to make a decision and you think it could be the wrong one, then it is make the right one no matter how painfull and move on.

TheReverend
04-27-2010, 12:35 PM
Don't let these guys scare you. Trust your heart.

What do you have to lose? Your business...ummm no. Your house...umm no. If you're ever going to take a leap of faith, nows the time. It won't always be this easy to try something like this. Sooner than you think life will tie you down.

So what if you have to crawl home to the parents and start over. At least you would have tried. Is this your 'dream job'...doubtful.

His future.

baja
04-27-2010, 12:38 PM
Imagine different scenarios when you get to the one than makes your heart sing choose that one and don't look back. Do that all your life and you will be a free man.

WABronco
04-27-2010, 12:39 PM
Who gives a **** what internet peeps think, do what you want.

dbfan21
04-27-2010, 12:39 PM
I agree with what many others have said so far. Being the educated, stable, breadwinner in this relationship, you owe it to everyone involved (you, the girl and her kid) to find a job out there first before making the move. This economy may seem like it's getting better, but the job market is still very sluggish and only improving in certain areas. Your resume will be in competition with hundreds, if not thousands, of desperate job seekers. It's very hard to stand out. Therefore, you will be a number to any company looking to hire.

Waitress jobs are a dime a dozen and do not serve as any stabilizing factor in the household. And while you are 25 years old, I have seen many job-seeking people get caught in a vicious cycle of career instability because they take a job just to draw a paycheck, then they jump instantly for something they perceive to be better, only to get laid off due to downsizing, then start the whole process over again.

Don't do this on a whim. Being smart about this move doesn't mean you love her any less....it just proves you have learned some things about life over the years and you are a man who strategically seeks out the best option for the people he supports.

BTW, for credibility's sake, I am a corporate recruiter (11 years of experience) who works on a nationwide basis. I constantly study market trends and assist people make life-changing decisions involving their careers, their families, their homes and their future.

Trust me...take it slow. Seek solid, objective advice. Investigate. Ask questions. Talk to realtors in the area about the real estate and economic climate. You may love this gal and her daughter, but you may end up resenting her if things don't work out the way she portrayed.

TheReverend
04-27-2010, 12:39 PM
What these pussies are beating around the bush instead of coming out and saying:

Sack up. Gain some self worth. Find precisely what you want in life. Go take it.

Watch this till you feel it:

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Popps
04-27-2010, 12:40 PM
OP,

You're young... so you can probably afford a mistake or two at this age. But, with the evidence at hand, I can just guarantee you that you're in for a very hectic and bumpy ride. No offense to your fiance', but people don't arrive where she is without significant issues. Can they be resolved? Sure. What's the likelihood of them being resolved? In my experience, highly unlikely. So, you need to ask yourself if you're prepared for a life full of issues. At 25, it might sound like something you can handle. But, trust me... that will change.

Move and work wherever you want. You're 25. Try to put some money away. Just trust all of us "older" guys on that one. (I'm 41, so I'm not THAT far removed from your situation.)

Just DON'T get married and god forbid, don't have any kids.

Wait until you're 30. If she's got her life together at that point, you can safely assume it's worth the risk. Otherwise, why rush? No one should be married before 30, imo.

Bronco Yoda
04-27-2010, 12:41 PM
Families can be tough to be around when starting out as an adult. Sometimes it's good to put some distance for awhile until you get your life really started. You'll gain a measure of respect and proper boundries from your family that otherwise may not be possible.

Concerning the 4 year old. (speaking as a homeschool parent) The first 3-4 years of school isn't exactly rocket science, so moving isn't going to ruin her chances in getting into Harvard. But please always keep this in mind... The little one should always be THE NUMBER ONE PRIORITY in all decisions. Make sure you have some kind of nest egg to deal with this situation.

gyldenlove
04-27-2010, 12:43 PM
I would move in a heart beat, you have nothing that is tying you to where you are except family and trust me on this one, they will love you regardless. I am on my 3rd country of residence right now because if you don't do it now it is certain that you won't do it later. It is always easier to move out and try and then move back if you don't like it, than to stay and get tied down and then try to move out later.

Ray Finkle
04-27-2010, 12:43 PM
OP,

You're young... so you can probably afford a mistake or two at this age. But, with the evidence at hand, I can just guarantee you that you're in for a very hectic and bumpy ride. No offense to your fiance', but people don't arrive where she is without significant issues. Can they be resolved? Sure. What's the likelihood of them being resolved? In my experience, highly unlikely. So, you need to ask yourself if you're prepared for a life full of issues. At 25, it might sound like something you can handle. But, trust me... that will change.

Move and work wherever you want. You're 25. Try to put some money away. Just trust all of us "older" guys on that one. (I'm 41, so I'm not THAT far removed from your situation.)

Just DON'T get married and god forbid, don't have any kids.

Wait until you're 30. If she's got her life together at that point, you can safely assume it's worth the risk. Otherwise, why rush? No one should be married before 30, imo.

Like Jimmy Dugan said, "that's good advice!"

Garcia Bronco
04-27-2010, 12:43 PM
Others may differ, but I generally can't think of a more worthless group than family. Seriously. If they are supportive then awesome, if not... ****'em. Start your own clan.

Broncoman13
04-27-2010, 12:45 PM
I've moved several times. The last four or five times while married. If your relationship isn't strong now it won't be after. Moving is an incredibly stressful event. New friends, new job, new environment, etc. I am fortunate that I have a strong relationship b/c it was put to the test each time. Some times it takes a few months to adjust, some times it takes a year or two. But if your relationship is strong enough, you will adjust and you'll be better off than before.

Personally, I wouldn't move without a job again. I did it when I left the Air Force in 1999. I thought it would be super easy to go out and get a job and fortunately I found a good job, and just in time. From that point forward though I've never done it again and probably would never put myself back in that situation. Do yourself a favor and start lining something up now.

Final thought. You know your girlfriend more than anyone here. You obviously have 2nd thoughts on this or you wouldn't be asking. If you're willing to take a blind leap wouldn't it make sense to do it anywhere? Perhaps you and your g/f should consider going somewhere that puts you on equal ground. Somewhere that when you get upset or she gets upset, its not so easy to run to an old friend and gain comfort... something she will be able to do, but you will not. There are plenty of inexpensive places to move that are a lot more convenient than going all the way to South Carolina... and a beach/party town at that. Personally, I don't think I'd put myself in that situation... even though that is the exact position I put my wife in when I got out of the Air Force. I then spent the next several years looking like hell to get out of the town I grew up in b/c it wasn't worth put her through the discomfort. It's worth moving and taking that next step in your life and relationship, just be smart about where that step is going.

Baba Booey
04-27-2010, 12:45 PM
I say go for it, man.

gunns
04-27-2010, 12:47 PM
she had a terrible childhood that caused her to have to drop out of high school, but is set on getting a GED to get into college. She is 22, and I am 25 with a Bachelor's in Accounting from University of Oklahoma. I have an okay job for a private company here, but could definitely get a better one with the economy picking up. She hasn't had a job because she continues to get hired at a place and either not like it, or the pay/hours are **** and no use working it for getting the price back to cover the gas.
Also, she has a 4 year old daughter, so makes it tougher.


This says it all for me. Maybe she had a terrible childhood, but now she has a 4 year old daughter. Time to take responsibility. And how convenient that she can just up and quit a job because she doesn't like it or it doesn't pay squat. Anything is better than nothing. With those circumstances I find it highly suspicious that in Myrtle Beach she can find a job and find you one too. I think she's using you. She may care about you, but I think she also cares about the lifestyle you've afforded her.

I wouldn't go, but if you do, find the job first.

TheReverend
04-27-2010, 12:50 PM
This says it all for me. Maybe she had a terrible childhood, but now she has a 4 year old daughter. Time to take responsibility. And how convenient that she can just up and quit a job because she doesn't like it or it doesn't pay squat. Anything is better than nothing. With those circumstances I find it highly suspicious that in Myrtle Beach she can find a job and find you one too. I think she's using you. She may care about you, but I think she also cares about the lifestyle you've afforded her.

I wouldn't go, but if you do, find the job first.

Way off base. Myrtle Beach is actually the only place with restaurants where she can be a server.

That One Guy
04-27-2010, 12:51 PM
This says it all for me. Maybe she had a terrible childhood, but now she has a 4 year old daughter. Time to take responsibility. And how convenient that she can just up and quit a job because she doesn't like it or it doesn't pay squat. Anything is better than nothing. With those circumstances I find it highly suspicious that in Myrtle Beach she can find a job and find you one too. I think she's using you. She may care about you, but I think she also cares about the lifestyle you've afforded her.

I wouldn't go, but if you do, find the job first.

It definitely sounds as though she's kind of on the irresponsible side and is now willing to extend that irresponsibility to him with a "we'll figure it out" attitude.

bronco_diesel
04-27-2010, 12:53 PM
1. make sure you absolutely love that child and can take her as your own. if you have any reservation, concern what-so-ever about this, you need to bail – for everyone’s sake, but mainly the child’s. you have to be 110% sure. remember, this is not about you, it is about the child and her future.

2. I’d take a long hard look at your fiancé and make sure this is the girl for you. I think the concerns aforementioned are legit red flags. be honest with yourself. is there a pattern and someone who has a responsibility problem, or is it a string of bad luck? usually a string of bad luck is more behavior than anything else. you’re not going to change her, she has to do that. so if there is any idea that she may grow up and change you’re stepping into a potential world of misery.

3. family can be a pain, but they are family. I’ve learned that life is much better with a healthy relationship with my family. I personally feel the right girl is not a divider, but someone who will unite and make every attempt to do so. you should be able to unite with her family as she should with you. make sure the family issues are not deeper than what it appears. sometimes a family is looking out for your best interest but it doesn’t look that way. some of the best ever advise I’ve had was from a family member who I thought was being a jerk. turns out he could see things because he wasn’t blinded like I was (sex). I would resolve your issues with the family and have some serious conversations before you jet out of town.

4. while you don’t make a lot of money, leaving a stable job without one lined up would be silly, especially with a child involved. if you do decide to make the move, slow down and be smart about it. have your fiancé hold down a job to save money for the move. if she can do that, then this is a good sign. if not, well…

you’re 25, you have a whole life ahead of you. make sure this is the right thing – follow your heart, but do so with wisdom.

BroncoInferno
04-27-2010, 12:55 PM
Myrtle Beach blows, dude.

That One Guy
04-27-2010, 12:58 PM
1. make sure you absolutely love that child and can take her as your own. if you have any reservation, concern what-so-ever about this, you need to bail – for everyone’s sake, but mainly the child’s. you have to be 110% sure. remember, this is not about you, it is about the child and her future.

2. I’d take a long hard look at your fiancé and make sure this is the girl for you. I think the concerns aforementioned are legit red flags. be honest with yourself. is there a pattern and someone who has a responsibility problem, or is it a string of bad luck? usually a string of bad luck is more behavior than anything else. you’re not going to change her, she has to do that. so if there is any idea that she may grow up and change you’re stepping into a potential world of misery.

3. family can be a pain, but they are family. I’ve learned that life is much better with a healthy relationship with my family. I personally feel the right girl is not a divider, but someone who will unite and make every attempt to do so. you should be able to unite with her family as she should with you. make sure the family issues are not deeper than what it appears. sometimes a family is looking out for your best interest but it doesn’t look that way. some of the best ever advise I’ve had was from a family member who I thought was being a jerk. turns out he could see things because he wasn’t blinded like I was (sex). I would resolve your issues with the family and have some serious conversations before you jet out of town.

4. while you don’t make a lot of money, leaving a stable job without one lined up would be silly, especially with a child involved. if you do decide to make the move, slow down and be smart about it. have your fiancé hold down a job to save money for the move. if she can do that, then this is a good sign. if not, well…

you’re 25, you have a whole life ahead of you. make sure this is the right thing – follow your heart, but do so with wisdom.



~ I'm a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it. ~
-Thomas Jefferson

underrated29
04-27-2010, 12:59 PM
Wow... What similiar situations you and I have/had...


Here is the thing dude. I already know what you are going to do. So do you. Now the good news is, you will learn a FREAKING TON from this. Bad news is that you are not going to make it as a couple and you will feel that you wasted a good portion of your life.....Trust me on this. read this whole thing and you will know why I say this... And dont use this as motivation. I did when people said the same to me, but you can not control the other person.

On the other hand you can not experience the learning part yourself but take everyones word for it.

Think of it like this. You can see a piece of candy that looks good to eat, yet everyone says no do not do it, it fell in dog ****. But it looks clean and you really want that candy and it doesnt smell like dog****. So you either eat it and taste the fact that its dog ****, or you can take everyones word for it. On one hand you will learn it yourself and experience it which is much more powerful, but at the same time suffer through the bad part. Or you can learn that it is bad but not as much as if you ate it.



I was similiar to you. I am 25 my ex is 22. We were best friends since highschool. She dropped out of HS, was a model for Mac (make up company)...Could have gotten a great job paying 75k a year, but kept putting off the GED. For some reason or another there was always a reason or excuse. She even went in to take the test and the fire alarms went off and the building had to be evacuated. Some things are signs bro. watch out for them...I went to school and became a badass- but dont get paid like one...yet.....But essentially the same thing and scenario.....Long story short, we are not together have a 3 year old son....... I learned sooo much over those 4 years that when I think i wasted my life (which I did somewhat) its not bad because I learned so much....Having said that, I think I would have been a lot better off just listening to everyone who is older, mainly my parents...... She is now married again with another kid, still no ged and now she has no job..When we were together she bounced around jobs too. Luckily i was good with money and how to use it/spend it.....I am guarantee that she will be divorced again and homeless within 2 years, probably by this fall.

I can not tell you what it is, but somehow, even though they seem more mature than you...I know mine was.. They are not.22 year old girls are 22 year old girls. They dont understand life yet... I know that wont make sense, but it is sooo freaking true its retarded.

The part about risk and diving head first..I agree with, but your situation is not one of them... Move somewhere, if you want, not because of her, and dont give up a good job or anything else...Ask yourself this.. Where would she be right now if she was not with you? She is probably a great person, but that answer right there should tell you everything you need to know. THe answer is simple, she would be with another guy, latched to him- same situation... That situation will always follow her around no matter who she is with until she gets her **** in gear. Girls like that normally do not until they hit rock rock bottom. And she never will until you are out of the picture, and the cycle will always continue as is now until she hits rock bottom. Which once again will not occur until you are out of the picture.

I know that sounds rough and I am SURE she is a really really great sweet girl. But just because she makes you feel good about yourself does not justify anything else.

My advice after all that crap----Do what you want, as you know what you will. Just be prepared to learn and learn as much as you can. In the end you will be a good person and a better one. And dont get down on yourself if things dont work out how you want. They rarely do. But they do always work themselves out in the end.

Good luck.

Cleo McDowell
04-27-2010, 01:01 PM
its all about YOU. step back and re-assess your current position and take time to reflect on REALITY. Oftentimes, emotions cloud our decisions and we let those emotions steer us into less than ideal situations.

its on you. its hard, but try to look at yourself and your situation from an outsiders perspective, gather and weigh what is real. then decide.

Beantown Bronco
04-27-2010, 01:04 PM
I realize you're not married yet, but I'd be curious as to what the difference in divorce laws are in the two states. And if either recognize common law marriages.

Bronco Yoda
04-27-2010, 01:06 PM
Wow... What similiar situations you and I have/had...


Here is the thing dude. I already know what you are going to do. So do you. Now the good news is, you will learn a FREAKING TON from this. Bad news is that you are not going to make it as a couple and you will feel that you wasted a good portion of your life.....Trust me on this. read this whole thing and you will know why I say this... And dont use this as motivation. I did when people said the same to me, but you can not control the other person.

On the other hand you can not experience the learning part yourself but take everyones word for it.

Think of it like this. You can see a piece of candy that looks good to eat, yet everyone says no do not do it, it fell in dog ****. But it looks clean and you really want that candy and it doesnt smell like dog****. So you either eat it and taste the fact that its dog ****, or you can take everyones word for it. On one hand you will learn it yourself and experience it which is much more powerful, but at the same time suffer through the bad part. Or you can learn that it is bad but not as much as if you ate it.



I was similiar to you. I am 25 my ex is 22. We were best friends since highschool. She dropped out of HS, was a model for Mac (make up company)...Could have gotten a great job paying 75k a year, but kept putting off the GED. For some reason or another there was always a reason or excuse. She even went in to take the test and the fire alarms went off and the building had to be evacuated. Some things are signs bro. watch out for them...I went to school and became a badass- but dont get paid like one...yet.....But essentially the same thing and scenario.....Long story short, we are not together have a 3 year old son....... I learned sooo much over those 4 years that when I think i wasted my life (which I did somewhat) its not bad because I learned so much....Having said that, I think I would have been a lot better off just listening to everyone who is older, mainly my parents...... She is now married again with another kid, still no ged and now she has no job..When we were together she bounced around jobs too. Luckily i was good with money and how to use it/spend it.....I am guarantee that she will be divorced again and homeless within 2 years, probably by this fall.

I can not tell you what it is, but somehow, even though they seem more mature than you...I know mine was.. They are not.22 year old girls are 22 year old girls. They dont understand life yet... I know that wont make sense, but it is sooo freaking true its retarded.

The part about risk and diving head first..I agree with, but your situation is not one of them... Move somewhere, if you want, not because of her, and dont give up a good job or anything else...Ask yourself this.. Where would she be right now if she was not with you? She is probably a great person, but that answer right there should tell you everything you need to know. THe answer is simple, she would be with another guy, latched to him- same situation... That situation will always follow her around no matter who she is with until she gets her **** in gear. Girls like that normally do not until they hit rock rock bottom. And she never will until you are out of the picture, and the cycle will always continue as is now until she hits rock bottom. Which once again will not occur until you are out of the picture.

I know that sounds rough and I am SURE she is a really really great sweet girl. But just because she makes you feel good about yourself does not justify anything else.

My advice after all that crap----Do what you want, as you know what you will. Just be prepared to learn and learn as much as you can. In the end you will be a good person and a better one. And dont get down on yourself if things dont work out how you want. They rarely do. But they do always work themselves out in the end.

Good luck.



But did you really waste your time? I bet you learned things that most take decades to learn. In the end are you better for it? Did you learn something? Are you wiser now.

Some things in life can only learned through trial and error. We all have to get knocked down before we get up again...

Mountain Bronco
04-27-2010, 01:11 PM
Dude, you are young, go for it, if it doesn't work out you can always move back. The only thing I would say is push off the wedding a bit so if it doesn't work out you don't have a major mess to get out of.

Good luck.

Cool Breeze
04-27-2010, 01:14 PM
1st
She is 22 and dropped out of H.S. but wants to get her GED
What is she waiting for? She's had what 4-6 years...

2nd
She gets jobs but doesn't like them and doesn't stick with it.

3rd
She hates Texas

I am sensing a lack of commitment there.
She should get the GED before the move.
Research the area, take a trip, get a job before the move.
Then, you both can hit the ground running when you get there.

Dukes
04-27-2010, 01:15 PM
Final thought. You know your girlfriend more than anyone here. You obviously have 2nd thoughts on this or you wouldn't be asking. If you're willing to take a blind leap wouldn't it make sense to do it anywhere? Perhaps you and your g/f should consider going somewhere that puts you on equal ground. Somewhere that when you get upset or she gets upset, its not so easy to run to an old friend and gain comfort... something she will be able to do, but you will not. There are plenty of inexpensive places to move that are a lot more convenient than going all the way to South Carolina... and a beach/party town at that. Personally, I don't think I'd put myself in that situation... even though that is the exact position I put my wife in when I got out of the Air Force. I then spent the next several years looking like hell to get out of the town I grew up in b/c it wasn't worth put her through the discomfort. It's worth moving and taking that next step in your life and relationship, just be smart about where that step is going.

My thoughts precisely. If moving is so imporatant, move to a neutral place where neither of you know anyone.

Irish Stout
04-27-2010, 01:16 PM
Although I do agree with the opinions of the Rev and the like on here, I understand the feelings you have for this lady... the fact that you feel like you'd do just about anything to be with her, to help her, and to grow old with her. Its going to be extremely hard for you to look past that and to cut her loose. In fact, my guess is that will not happen now because of what opinions you are getting from a message board.

However, look at just the fact that you are posting this on a message board... ask yourself why you came here with what are clearly your own doubts and insecurities about this relationship and the future, even if you are not verbalizing them. Also, to say you can't afford to move to Colorado, but can afford Myrtle indicates you are being directed by the lady, not the other way around. That being said, I'll assume the relationship is not going to end, that you are head over heels for her and that the choice ultimately comes down to staying in Texas with her or going to Myrtle Beach with her.

Some have already said it, but DO NOT LEAVE TEXAS WITHOUT A JOB OFFER IN HAND! It is three times harder to find a job when you are unemployed than when you are employed. As an employer I would look at you someone who is not willing to stick with a position or too likely to take strange life risks to be worth hiring. Also, if you cannot afford to move to CO, then you sure as **** can't afford to move to Myrtle Beach without a job in hand, despite whatever family support may be out there. You simply cannot afford to make any move without a new job ready to go. Begin using job sites and whatever contacts she has to distribute your resume to potential employers. Explain in your cover letter that you are for sure moving to Myrtle Beach for your fiance who needs to be closer to her family, but don't go into more detail than that on why you are moving.

If the fiance is more anxious than you can afford to move to Myrtle Beach, let her go ahead of you. Let her get settled and established with a job. Let her be your go person in Myrtle to help you get some contacts and roots to your new place. As a plus this distance will also be a great experience that will truly show you how strong the relationship is. If you guys can make it through a decent amount of time that far apart, you guys will know that you can make it through most things. During this time, save every penny you can and hopefully she'll get gainful employment right away and will be able to support herself and her daughter. You may need to have the money to trek it out there once or twice for a face to face interview with a potential employer.

If your fiance will wait with you in Texas, and she is unemployed, then make her your personal assistant and p.r. rep. Get her to help you track down jobs and network with whomever she knows on your behalf. Have her review your cover letters and resumes for all spelling errors or to make sure your phone numbers are correct.

I personally think the worst thing you could do for yourself and her and her daughter is to drop everything and go. You are young and you might eventually recover, but you are lifting the lid to Pandora's box of family and financial stress which leads to relationship stress. Try and eliminate at least one of those stresses before you follow your lady into the unknown and you will be grateful you did for the rest of your life. If not, you will be kicking yourself for asking for this advice and ignoring it.

PRBronco
04-27-2010, 01:17 PM
OP,

You're young... so you can probably afford a mistake or two at this age. But, with the evidence at hand, I can just guarantee you that you're in for a very hectic and bumpy ride. No offense to your fiance', but people don't arrive where she is without significant issues. Can they be resolved? Sure. What's the likelihood of them being resolved? In my experience, highly unlikely. So, you need to ask yourself if you're prepared for a life full of issues. At 25, it might sound like something you can handle. But, trust me... that will change.

Move and work wherever you want. You're 25. Try to put some money away. Just trust all of us "older" guys on that one. (I'm 41, so I'm not THAT far removed from your situation.)

Just DON'T get married and god forbid, don't have any kids.

Wait until you're 30. If she's got her life together at that point, you can safely assume it's worth the risk. Otherwise, why rush? No one should be married before 30, imo.

Popps I'm going to print this off and make into a really nice mural and hang it where my gf can see it every day :)

Eldorado
04-27-2010, 01:20 PM
No kid? Go for it, **** it it'll be fun. Kid? Do the smart thing.

ghwk
04-27-2010, 01:21 PM
This isn't as stupid a question as it seems. If you weren't having sex with her would you be thinking along these lines?

I was also in a situation very similar to yours when I was your age, I'm in my 40's now. I had a college degree, she did not. I was in my mid 20s she was 22 with a child. I had my whole life ahead of me she had many many things to resolve because of the choices she made, including her ex who was a stalker and as it also turned out a pedophile (you don't mention where the father is in all this). What did she need from me? A stable place to land while she got her life back together. What I got from her was a chick who dug me (or so I thought) and sex and some level of companionship that wasn't all bad for a while.

What should she have been doing? Finishing school and getting her life back on track with a child on her own. What should I have been doing? Experiencing life because I had already sacrificed a lot to get through school. I also should have been asking myself why this particular woman seemed so appealing when there were a million more out there that I hadn't met yet and who had considerably less baggage for me to take on. What I really learned was that at 25 I was nowhere near as smart as I though I was.

Like Popps I know what you are going to do too. Like Popps I also say DO NOT GET MARRIED at least for another 5 years, see how this all plays out first. DO NOT HAVE A CHILD with her at least until the 5 years is up.

How did my story end? She ended up cheating on me and moving in with another guy in another state. Even though it took me a long time to realize and accept it she did me the biggest favor of my life. I went on to meet a great woman and have two kids now. I shudder to think how it could have played out. And the intervening years between that ending and my meeting my wife were a kick ass good time, exactly what you should be having right now. When your relationship ends, and it will, take all the knowledge you can and when the next situation like the one you are in finds you, run like hell the other way. There are a millioin hard luck women (and men) out there. You don't have to end up with one of them.

P.S. My parents didn't like my involvement with the 22 YO GF either and they were right, not because she was a bad person, just because she was a bad person for me.

Dukes
04-27-2010, 01:23 PM
I'm with The Rev on this one. Time to move on without her.

broncocalijohn
04-27-2010, 01:29 PM
McFoneco, this chick is holding you back of becoming a productive citizen. She wants you to go back to her part of the world where her life wasnt very good. She is 22 and already damaged goods. Sorry, but it is true. She has no education, no job, no aspirations it seems and a 4 year old kid. You really want to get involved with someone with a kid at 25? Plus, she wants you to move to easier living so you can probably work side by side with her at some truck stop or Waffle House. You should look at yourself and see why you are settling so low. Are you an easy push over? Do you have low self esteem? If you want to get out of Texas, go for it. If you really need to stay with her, tell her she needs to stay away from the misery of her hometown and get her **** together and have that GED by the end of the year and then enroll in college. Furthermore, if you moved to South Carolina, will you have to deal with the loser that knocked up your girlfriend? In my eyes, you picked a loser in life. Nice girl but you are making excuses for her and she might never change. If you dont listen now, how does "Step Daddy" sound to you?

Blueflame
04-27-2010, 01:32 PM
Advice I'd give my own son if he were in your shoes: Do not give up one job (the proverbial "bird in the hand") without a new (hopefully better-paying) one already lined up. Some jobs can be applied for online... you might look into that too (and the local Chamber of Commerce website for whatever town you're looking at moving to). Money troubles are one of the primary issues that can put stress on a relationship though.

broncocalijohn
04-27-2010, 01:33 PM
Way off base. Myrtle Beach is actually the only place with restaurants where she can be a server.

When I grow up, I want to quit school, have a kid at 18 with no marriage, find a guy to support me and work at one of those cool jobs where you can where a skirt and talk to the customers......like being a server.

underrated29
04-27-2010, 01:33 PM
But did you really waste your time? I bet you learned things that most take decades to learn. In the end are you better for it? Did you learn something? Are you wiser now.

Some things in life can only learned through trial and error. We all have to get knocked down before we get up again...



Yes, I did waste my time. But like I said it was worth it. Doesn't mean I wouldnt do things differently but as you said I came out better, smarter, wiser and with a fat 3 year old who is awesome....

Thats why i gave him the candy scenario. some things you can learn on your own. It will be tougher, but you will get the full meaning of them. or you take peoples word for it still learn it but not as much or in the same way.......For me atleast- had I taken the blue pill- I probably would be able to retire at 30...Now I basically am starting over from scratch only I have a 3 year old i have to support too. But that will just make me work harder and be better. Maybe this was the best for me.? Same could be said for him....But I am not sure. Could be too early for me to tell.

bronclvr
04-27-2010, 01:34 PM
I've been happily married for 30 Years, and it only took three marriages to figure it out ;D (however, the third time really is the charm ;) ), so I speak from experience-this has disaster written all over it-

baja
04-27-2010, 01:39 PM
Dude my advice to you is don't take advice that suggests one choice over another, there is no one here that knows the situation well enough to make that type of call.

BroncosSR
04-27-2010, 01:46 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v387/jonathanwong/thumb_thisthreadisworthlesswithoutp.gif

✡✡ JOSHUA ✡✡
04-27-2010, 02:03 PM
Myrtle Beach blows, dude.

Jason Heyward lived there.

hookemhess
04-27-2010, 02:22 PM
Move to Austin. The birthplace and final resting place of all that is cool.

cutthemdown
04-27-2010, 02:48 PM
Get job first, then move. Don't be stupid and run away from your family and a good job because your G/F or wife isn't happy in her job. Time to be a grown up. You are 25 now and it's time to stop just doing things and hoping they will work out.

You need to plan a move a little more I think. At least save up 6 months worth of money and then make the move. Really you need a job before you move there.

cutthemdown
04-27-2010, 02:50 PM
Move to Austin. The birthplace and final resting place of all that is cool.

Austin would be at the top of my list if I was relocating.

Lot's of bands for me to hook up with and play my sax. Killer looking ladies, cool city with lots to do, vibrant music scene...Hell yeah Austin has it going on.

Cool Breeze
04-27-2010, 02:54 PM
How is all of this free advice working for you?

That One Guy
04-27-2010, 02:54 PM
I've heard Austin is a liberal bastion & hippy playground.

And there'd be them pesky "hook 'em horns" everywhere...

Just say no to all that pain.

Doggcow
04-27-2010, 03:02 PM
She sounds like my ex. Troubled childhood, manipulative, kids, can't hold a job, didn't graduate etc.

Once I dumped her, I have accomplished so much more in my life, on my way to grad school now, found a woman 10000x better than I ever imagined, and actually have some money in the bank.

She found some sad 25-year-old sap to marry her, and how he has dropped out of school, and they both work hourly jobs at fast food restaurants.

SureShot
04-27-2010, 03:05 PM
Don't shack up with someone that doesn't make you better.

TheReverend
04-27-2010, 03:08 PM
Don't shack up with someone that doesn't make you better.

I disagree. Shack up with plenty that don't make you better... just don't have breakfast with them :thumbsup:

ND Bronco Fan
04-27-2010, 03:11 PM
If she has a sister, give her the business........if she doesnt leave you then you can consider moving with her.

azbroncfan
04-27-2010, 03:14 PM
I would take advice that The Rev gave you. This girl sounds like excuse after excuse why her life has been bad and why she can't hold a job. Sounds like she is using you for a meal ticket. Whatever you do you have to make sure you don't knock her up.

SureShot
04-27-2010, 03:17 PM
I disagree. Shack up with plenty that don't make you better... just don't have breakfast with them :thumbsup:

I think our definitions of shackin up differ. Bang away but don't pay her bills for Tebow sake.

kappys
04-27-2010, 03:19 PM
What was your relationship like with your family before this chick came in the picture?

FWW I am with the Rev on this one. 25 is young, but not that young. There are mistakes you can recover from - but throwing away a job on whim that you'll get a decent one in Myrtle Beach (probably doing accounting for some aspect of the service industry, not really advancing your career) is a big mistake. If you have a kid with her that will be a complete disaster.

My advice - apply for graduate school. Take the loans you need to make it happen. Get a better education and a better job and chances are good that on a college campus you can meet someone with intelligence and amibition to match your own.

cutthemdown
04-27-2010, 03:19 PM
Break up with her and go get yourself a Josina.

TDmvp
04-27-2010, 03:20 PM
http://www.orangemane.com/BB/image.php?u=10720&dateline=1272333464






LOL @ Buddy Tebow ...



Hilarious!Hilarious!Hilarious!Hilarious!Hilarious! Hilarious!

elsid13
04-27-2010, 03:58 PM
If you are asking us, you know that this is a bad idea. It sucks, but it sound like you found someone that isn't an adult and isn't ready to have serious relationship. If you go back to SC, then chances are all the bad decisions that she made before will be rearing their ugly heads and you will be stuck in the middle, without a full time job and no family support group.

leon
04-27-2010, 04:02 PM
Either make her get an education or drop her.. You are taking on way too much baggage for a guy in your position. You haven't even started to live yet and you wanna take all this on. You are "golden" a guy with an education,no kids,the world is yours, you make things happen and you lead don't follow when you don't have to!!!!!

Captain 'Dre
04-27-2010, 04:10 PM
Don't underestimate the value of getting out of a state you hate, and away from dysfunctional family.

Better to have a job lined up in advance, but get out when you can.

And... Do you trust your g/f to be a partner to you, rather than an albatross around your neck?

bombay
04-27-2010, 04:11 PM
The economic 'recovery' doesn't seem to include jobs yet, and it doesn't sound like you have a cushion.

Be careful.

DenverBroncosJM
04-27-2010, 04:54 PM
No brainer, imo.

"She hasn't had a job because she continues to get hired at a place and either not like it"

"Also, she has a 4 year old daughter, so makes it tougher."

"Now, I don't want to get in too many details, but she had a terrible childhood that caused her to have to drop out of high school"

Three key sentences. I'm sure she had rough circumstances as you said, but now she has a 4 year old and apparently lacks the responsibility to even put a solid effort into independently taking care of her child. You can try and blow that off as another reason to where she feels comfortable moving, but uprooting your own life (which it sounds like you have YOUR **** together, albeit probably a little blinded by emotion) on a chance she matures is absurd.

Side note: Unrelated to the previous point, but something that sounds like it's true. You may be being used. A relationship should be based on mutual respect, not by being Captain Save-A-Ho. That may or may not pertain to you, but take a step back and a close look at who you are and the reality of your relationship before doing ANYTHING.

So much more goes into this... what are your families opinions? Is this relationship what caused stress between you and your family? Do you feel the relationship is healthy, or is moving an option partly because you think it will heal part of the relationship?

Im with this guy. I know at work when Im trying to explain something that might not go over well I skip the details too.

If I had a 4 YO and was basically a single parent Id shovel **** if I had to at midnight....What makes you so sure she wont get a crappy job in SC? a lot of people have ****ty jobs but they do them anyway because they have kids.

Meck77
04-27-2010, 04:59 PM
Nothing in life is without risk. Go with your gut.

ghwk
04-27-2010, 05:05 PM
Nothing in life is without risk. Go with your gut.

For some risks that is fine. Not this one imo. Think it through carefully with an eye on what happens if it all goes to s**t what did you give up to end up with that result. If we were talking about the job vs you spending 6 months in Europe I'd say go with your gut and get out of there.

bronco_diesel
04-27-2010, 05:07 PM
If I had a 4 YO and was basically a single parent Id shovel **** if I had to at midnight.

This.

Dogsweat
04-27-2010, 05:52 PM
Go West

maher_tyler
04-27-2010, 06:13 PM
This sounds like a disaster waiting to happen dude...i prolly wouldn't be with someone that has a kid, no job and no HS diploma to begin with!

I think she may want to be closer to the baby's dad and is just using that she isn't happy as an excuse to move closer! Not that that's bad but why hide it if in fact she is?? If for no reason why closer to where she's from and further from where your from?? Why not CO?? AZ?? ND??

I think she's holding you back and using you. I wouldn't be surprised if she got her feet underneath her she wouldn't up and leave you!

If you really love her and vice versa...it shouldn't be a problem to wait at least until you find a better job there and have some money saved up. No offense but it doesn't sound like she thinks very logically! Tell her this and observe her reaction..i mean, why June?!?! Why not October or February of next year?? It's easy for someone like that to say when there not the one supporting the "family". I think you'd be making a dumb decision and will regret the decision a year to 3 years down the road from now if you go there with her. Something just doesn't seem right imo!!

Just my .02...

hookemhess
04-27-2010, 06:14 PM
I've heard Austin is a liberal bastion & hippy playground.

And there'd be them pesky "hook 'em horns" everywhere...

Just say no to all that pain.

We have plenty of conservatives in Austin, naturally. The hippies make for a nice environment. Great food & arts. Fantastic [outdoor] live music every night of the week.

And the Longhorns have a better gameday than the Houston Texans. Guaranteed.

ghwk
04-27-2010, 06:29 PM
Also if she is out of state with the kid is she violating any visitation rights granted to the dad?

Mr.Meanie
04-27-2010, 06:36 PM
For some risks that is fine. Not this one imo. Think it through carefully with an eye on what happens if it all goes to s**t what did you give up to end up with that result. If we were talking about the job vs you spending 6 months in Europe I'd say go with your gut and get out of there.

Sometimes the craziest opportunities come out of what happens when everything goes to ****.

As long as you're a hard worker, honest, and have goals you can bounce back from any risk. In fact, if that's your personality I think the biggest risk is not taking one, and being mired in mediocrity.

I'm not sure whether that fit's the OP, that's just more of a life commentary. If you don't have work ethic and ambition, taking risks is stupid.

Broncofan_H
04-27-2010, 06:46 PM
This sounds a lot like what I went through in my early 20's (minus her having the kid already-which is a major game changer). GF was from a troubled home and lived here in CO. with her mom and step-dad. She was desperate to get out of her current situation. She wanted to move to Memphis to be closer to her dad and other family. I was a Colorado boy from birth with the steady family close-by.

So, we actually went and visited her family in the Memphis area first. I found out that despite the glowing reports she had told me, her dad was a drunk. He was a huge a-hole. She of course fell in love with the idea of being back "home" again and wanted to move. I dug in my feet knowing I didn't want any part of that Memphis, Tenn./W. Memphis, Arkansas area. I certainly didn't want to be around her family who looked like the poster children for the typical "redneck Arkansas family". I just began stalling and pointing out the things that weren't quite right with the plan to move back there.

I would suggest taking a trip there if possible to meet her family, check out the area, etc.

How did my story turn out? Well, we stayed in Colorado and I went to school. We got married. Moved to Wyoming and bought a house. Had 3 great kids. Moved back to Colorado and eventually landed a good job at a University while my wife is currently in school (put that off having the kids). So, I guess what I'm saying is she may be right for you, but perhaps where she wants to move isn't the best idea. Move (or stay) where it makes sense. I was promised jobs by her dad, too. Of course, if he had such great leads, why was he working odd jobs to support himself?

The big differences in our stories though is my wife has usually been employed (even though she had some real crappy jobs) and she didn't have a kid when we got together.

Visit the area first, but be prepared for her drive to move there to be even stronger. Which means if it doesn't feel right, your drive to NOT move there has to be that much more strong.

Good luck.

itherapies
04-27-2010, 06:49 PM
Hollywood is filled with self involved people, but this is an amazing example of how to live your life....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLN2k0b3g70

Cmac821
04-27-2010, 10:23 PM
Hey, I knew I wasn't they only one that hated living in Texas. Worst place ever

scrap
04-27-2010, 10:34 PM
Knew the bad blood with the family was related back to her.

You're on a one-way ticket to self-loathing. Don't be stupid.

What he says ^ ALL OF IT!

scrap
04-27-2010, 10:36 PM
Also...the part about her not keeping some jobs cuz she hates them...

When you HAVE A CHILD, you lose the right to hate your job in favor of no job!

Que
04-27-2010, 10:49 PM
Run Forest run. Way too many red flags in this situation with your fiancé. This has a 2014 date with a divorce attorney written all over it. A parent who can't put forth the effort to care/provide for her 4 year old daughter says it all. Sorry man. Seen it too often.

That One Guy
04-27-2010, 10:56 PM
Alright, so, at page 1, we all read the OP and knew what the poster was going to do. He knew, we knew, you knew, my dog knew...

Now we're at page 5, lets hear back from the OP. I think the consensus is run for freedom and it probably wont change if this thing goes on for 50 pages.

OP? Let us know, would 800 more posts suggesting the same thing help?

Que
04-27-2010, 11:02 PM
Alright, so, at page 1, we all read the OP and knew what the poster was going to do. He knew, we knew, you knew, my dog knew...

Now we're at page 5, lets hear back from the OP. I think the consensus is run for freedom and it probably wont change if this thing goes on for 50 pages.

OP? Let us know, would 800 more posts suggesting the same thing help?

Dude that is so true. Guy was SC bound before he ever even posted. Shame though... Good way to become damaged goods himself.

HAT
04-27-2010, 11:38 PM
Also...the part about her not keeping some jobs cuz she hates them...

When you HAVE A CHILD, you lose the right to hate your job in favor of no job!

REP to the new lurker turned poster!

Houshyamama
04-27-2010, 11:42 PM
Never quit the job you have until you get a new one.

Don't ignore this advice :)

Doggcow
04-27-2010, 11:54 PM
Dude that is so true. Guy was SC bound before he ever even posted. Shame though... Good way to become damaged goods himself.

Lol, I guarantee she ends up with some other sad-sap that she knew back when she lives there, and he's ****ed and stuck away from family and had pissed them all off listening to this girl.

I use the word girl, because that is exactly what she is, a woman would be supporting herself, or ffs, SUPPORTING HER KID.

This guy is going to ****up his life in spite of everything everyone here has told him as well as his family.

Florida_Bronco
04-28-2010, 12:21 AM
What these pussies are beating around the bush instead of coming out and saying:

Sack up. Gain some self worth. Find precisely what you want in life. Go take it.

I don't agree with you on much, but this is spot on. I think it's pretty much the same thing you told me years ago, and I'm glad I listened.

UberBroncoMan
04-28-2010, 12:23 AM
I don't think I'd go with this. I'm with the Rev outside of the whole have multiple GF's etc thing and ditch her in another state... as effective as that sounds (to getting rid of her).

I have a friend who was with a girl like yours. She had a kid, didn't finish school... hell she was even a stripper at one point. Hot as hell etc. Needless to say, one of the big draws that kept him with her was that he felt bad for her. He felt obligated to be with her because she had always been hurt, and then obligated to her child as well since it had no dad.

His parents told him to end it with her. Ironically he thought they were being elitist and didn't get it (even though they raised him and had been through more than he ever had).

Needless to say, eventually it all went south.

He lots of money and time out of it, but luckily no job since he never moved to be with her.

There are a few diamonds... very, very, very, few diamonds that have the type of background your girlfriend has.

How do you even know that what she's told you about the inheritance and the step sisters is true etc.

She got kicked out at 18? She also had a kid at 18? Doesn't sound like quality decision making.

Anyway... your fiance might be that extremely rare diamond... but I would tread extremely carefully. A motivated woman would be working a job AND getting a GED at the same time, and she can't do either.

As for moving. HELL NO don't do it. If you DID move, make sure you have a job, and make damn well sure she's getting a GED or something. The last thing you want is to be is that dude working his ass off to feed a stay at home mom who does absolutely nothing constructive, and a kid that's not even of your own making.

24champ
04-28-2010, 12:49 AM
I think TheRev pretty much nailed it.

I don't have much to add, but I will say this. It does sound like this girl is using you McFoneco...something's just off kilter about her. I don't like it, to me now would be a good time to cut the line and move on.

Brewer
04-28-2010, 12:58 AM
If her childhood sucked so bad, why does she want to return to the place she grew up so badly? Just so she can wait tables? WTF?

Dude, you're 25. Twenty-freakin'-FIVE! Live your life, not someone else's.

(The fact that you had to turn to strangers on the internet should give you the answer, by the way.)

FireFly
04-28-2010, 02:46 AM
Get a job before you move, not after.

QFT

Then move.

sixtimeseight
04-28-2010, 06:54 AM
"She hasn't had a job because she continues to get hired at a place and either not like it"

"Also, she has a 4 year old daughter, so makes it tougher."

"Now, I don't want to get in too many details, but she had a terrible childhood that caused her to have to drop out of high school"

http://www.stockphototalk.com/phototalk/images/forrestrunningtojonathan.jpg

chrisp
04-28-2010, 07:22 AM
Don't make the mistake of thinking you can 'save' someone with a troubled background. They will have their own issues that only thay can overcome: your support and understanding can help, but only that. She has to fix herself.

As far as the move goes, you have to reassure yourself that this is not a 'grass is greener' situation on her part. If she has trouble settling into homes or work (which would be entirely understandable given her background, but understanding it doesn't make it not a problem....) then that could mean that this move could turn into another move, or some other problem will suddenly become the Big Issue and The Thing We Have to Change and you will never find rest.

By all means follow your heart and take the plunge if you think its best. Only you can judge at the end of the day and if you consider your reasons carefully enough then I'm sure that the decision you finally make will be the right one. However, please remember those reasons after you've moved. You should expect unforseen issues to crop up after the move, be prepared for them, and more importantly make sure she is also prepared for that.

My ex-wife used to talk so firmly and bravely about each new beginning. She really believed each new change in her life would be the thing that sorted everything out. Trouble is it never did, so each time she had to find a new problem to blame, untill eventually the next problem was our marriage and I had to go......her background was different to your girlfriend's, but I can see some alarming parallels nonetheless.

At the end of the day if you do make a new start you have to both be utterly determined to make it work. Running away from problems doesn't always get rid of them and can easily become a habit, so be warned.

hookemhess
04-28-2010, 07:44 AM
Hey, I knew I wasn't they only one that hated living in Texas. Worst place ever

You live in Amarillo. Do you need a sign?

Dukes
04-28-2010, 08:47 AM
Dude, run for your life. Seriously.

TheReverend
04-28-2010, 08:50 AM
OP can't post updates because he's busy eloping and moving to Myrtle ****ing Beach.

In b4 next McFoneco update:

http://fotr.mlblogs.com/Crying%20Man.JPG

BroncoInferno
04-28-2010, 10:02 AM
Have I mentioned that Myrtle Beach blows? It surpasses even Las Vegas for utter tackiness and draws more douchebags per capita than Palm Springs.

bombay
04-28-2010, 10:43 AM
Did you hate where you live and have trouble with your family before you met this woman?

SureShot
04-28-2010, 10:59 AM
I want to be remembered for this take:

This will not end well.

Meck77
04-28-2010, 11:13 AM
For some risks that is fine. Not this one imo. Think it through carefully with an eye on what happens if it all goes to s**t what did you give up to end up with that result. If we were talking about the job vs you spending 6 months in Europe I'd say go with your gut and get out of there.

Ghwk....You misunderstood my post. My statement about risk and going with your gut can apply to anything. Based on what I read this woman is full of resentments that haven't been resolved. Resentments are the #1 killer of relationships. If she hasn't resolved them they will surely follow her to the next town.

To be honest I think too many people rush into marriages and having babies to begin with. Heck most marriages have less than a 50% success rate as it is.

My advice. Let her go. Keep working, hit a couple Bronco games, and find a woman with an education like you have, a woman without children, and for crying out loud a woman who can hold a job!

Dukes
04-28-2010, 11:14 AM
Did you hate where you live and have trouble with your family before you met this woman?

Excellent question!

DomCasual
04-28-2010, 11:21 AM
Have I mentioned that Myrtle Beach blows? It surpasses even Las Vegas for utter tackiness and draws more douchebags per capita than Palm Springs.

Raises hand as someone who loves going to Myrtle Beach!

Beantown Bronco
04-28-2010, 11:22 AM
Raises hand as someone who loves going to Myrtle Beach!

But we already know that you are one of the douchebags he's referencing.

Irish Stout
04-28-2010, 11:23 AM
OP can't post updates because he's busy eloping and moving to Myrtle ****ing Beach.



He probably thinks we're all a bunch of A-holes who don't understand and he's sworn to Tebow to never coming back to the Mane.

Maybe we'll see him in 5 months. I'm sure we'll be supportive.

BroncoInferno
04-28-2010, 11:25 AM
But we already know that you are one of the douchebags he's referencing.

You said it, not me ;D

Cleo McDowell
04-28-2010, 11:29 AM
this thread is like crack.

TheChamp24
04-28-2010, 11:36 AM
Oh boy, what do I say in responding?

Thank you for your opinions.

Side note, I mentioned this thread to her, and she saw it, and had this to say in a nustshell:
and what were the results? 20% of the people actually gave you legitimate advice, some told you to wait and save up more money, make investments, etc etc, and the rest of that 20% (the majority of it) told you to follow his heart, that you have nothing to lose.

the other 80% told you in a nutshell, that you're an idiot, to break up with me immediately, and go get laid by some hot chick in texas.

Oh, and that she doesn't like this forum because its mean >.>

haha, I liked that last comment she made.

Nonetheless, after much thinking, you guessed it, I'm going to move. Go ahead and queue this thread up for 6 months if you like, but I truly feel this will be better for my life than not going.

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement and thoughtfulness everyone, and I hope to make it out to a game this year. Couldn't last year because my brother sold all his tickets, I told him I want the Rams game to see my alumni Sam Bradford though.

Tombstone RJ
04-28-2010, 11:38 AM
Okay, I'm in the process of making a decision in my life, and need some advice.

I am currently living in Texas, and I hate it here, only reason I moved here was to be near my family. However, there are family issues and I really want to move away.
First, let me say I got involved with a great woman, and we got engaged not too long ago. She moved here in Texas to be with me, but alas, she hates it here too. Now, I don't want to get in too many details, but she had a terrible childhood that caused her to have to drop out of high school, but is set on getting a GED to get into college. She is 22, and I am 25 with a Bachelor's in Accounting from University of Oklahoma. I have an okay job for a private company here, but could definitely get a better one with the economy picking up. She hasn't had a job because she continues to get hired at a place and either not like it, or the pay/hours are **** and no use working it for getting the price back to cover the gas.
Also, she has a 4 year old daughter, so makes it tougher.
Now, she comes from the East Coast, Myrtle Beach, SC. She is very easy-going, comfortable and I'll say "care-free". Most people over there are. Well, she tells me we can move to Myrtle Beach, cut our expenses down, she can easily get a job as a server, and she has contacts and a staffing agency that can get me a job in a month. Basically, become financially stable because we aren't here.
Now, my parents/family will be upset due to the fact that I am leaving a job, known income, to go someplace where there is no guarantee, and also have no money.

I know I'm leaving some stuff out, but basically, I want to hear what other people think of moving out there, which she wants to do in June, for what she feels is the right thing to do, and will make us stable and happy.

First, let me just say that the economy in TX is better than in most places in America. So, if you don't already have a job lined up when you leave, don't go.

And, don't let her force you into anything you don't want to do. I'm going out on a limb here but I'm thinking your problems with your family are due in a lot of ways with your relationship with this young lady.

If you cut and run because you "think" you don't like TX and because you "know" it's because your family is just a little uneasy about your relationship, then your taking an unecessary risk.

Go with your head, not your heart.

If she really needs you and she really respects you and she knows you can be the dad her child needs, then she has to respect your decision.

My advice, don't go to Myrtle Beach.

Cleo McDowell
04-28-2010, 11:40 AM
http://bluntobject.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/double-facepalm.jpg

SoDak Bronco
04-28-2010, 11:44 AM
http://bluntobject.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/double-facepalm.jpg

Hilarious!:kiddingme:flush:

Dukes
04-28-2010, 11:46 AM
Moving to SC = Fail

Showing her this thread = Epic Fail

Tombstone RJ
04-28-2010, 11:50 AM
Don't make the mistake of thinking you can 'save' someone with a troubled background. They will have their own issues that only thay can overcome: your support and understanding can help, but only that. She has to fix herself.

As far as the move goes, you have to reassure yourself that this is not a 'grass is greener' situation on her part. If she has trouble settling into homes or work (which would be entirely understandable given her background, but understanding it doesn't make it not a problem....) then that could mean that this move could turn into another move, or some other problem will suddenly become the Big Issue and The Thing We Have to Change and you will never find rest.

By all means follow your heart and take the plunge if you think its best. Only you can judge at the end of the day and if you consider your reasons carefully enough then I'm sure that the decision you finally make will be the right one. However, please remember those reasons after you've moved. You should expect unforseen issues to crop up after the move, be prepared for them, and more importantly make sure she is also prepared for that.

My ex-wife used to talk so firmly and bravely about each new beginning. She really believed each new change in her life would be the thing that sorted everything out. Trouble is it never did, so each time she had to find a new problem to blame, untill eventually the next problem was our marriage and I had to go......her background was different to your girlfriend's, but I can see some alarming parallels nonetheless.

At the end of the day if you do make a new start you have to both be utterly determined to make it work. Running away from problems doesn't always get rid of them and can easily become a habit, so be warned.

QFT. Women who are emotionally unstable think that happiness is just around the corner. It's always somewhere in the future because they are too emotionally ill equiped to deal with the present.

I was in a very similar relationship and no matter what I did to make her happy, she finally decided it was not the house we bought together and all the stuff we had done together that didn't work, it was just me.

But, I was the same damn guy she supposedly fell in love with. She too come from a destroyed childhood and the problem was not so much me or us, but her and her inability to cope with reality.

Tombstone RJ
04-28-2010, 11:52 AM
Oh boy, what do I say in responding?

Thank you for your opinions.

Side note, I mentioned this thread to her, and she saw it, and had this to say in a nustshell:
and what were the results? 20% of the people actually gave you legitimate advice, some told you to wait and save up more money, make investments, etc etc, and the rest of that 20% (the majority of it) told you to follow his heart, that you have nothing to lose.

the other 80% told you in a nutshell, that you're an idiot, to break up with me immediately, and go get laid by some hot chick in texas.

Oh, and that she doesn't like this forum because its mean >.>

haha, I liked that last comment she made.

Nonetheless, after much thinking, you guessed it, I'm going to move. Go ahead and queue this thread up for 6 months if you like, but I truly feel this will be better for my life than not going.

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement and thoughtfulness everyone, and I hope to make it out to a game this year. Couldn't last year because my brother sold all his tickets, I told him I want the Rams game to see my alumni Sam Bradford though.

Wow, I have to say, your going to be sorry.

It sounds like she's doing the thinking for you. Too bad, and good luck.

HorseHead
04-28-2010, 11:55 AM
if she looks like "Dukes" avatar, you do whatever she says...

Dukes
04-28-2010, 11:57 AM
Fellow Maners, I think we need an intervention

Tombstone RJ
04-28-2010, 11:59 AM
Fellow Maners, I think we need an intervention

The dude already had his mind made up, he was going no matter what we said.

sixtimeseight
04-28-2010, 12:01 PM
What a surprise, OP asked for advice, then completely ignored all of it when it was given to him because it wasn't what he wanted to hear. Enjoy being miserable for the next 5-30 years, you earned it!

Tombstone RJ
04-28-2010, 12:03 PM
I bet she bans him from the OMane too.

Broncofan_H
04-28-2010, 12:08 PM
Wow, forget what I said earlier. You appear to be very whipped (YOU showed her the thread!?!?).

I have a bad feeling about this. Good luck, though.

That One Guy
04-28-2010, 12:15 PM
I think we all had the facepalm image in our head when reading that response.

I want a poll to know which is the worst move. Moving or showing the thread. Nothing says, "I have doubts..." like asking what people think on the Mane.

ColoradoDarin
04-28-2010, 12:16 PM
He already knew the answer before he posted. If you're having that much doubt that you have to post it on OM, you know you shouldn't do it.

Poor guy, see ya in 3-5 buddy.

ghwk
04-28-2010, 12:17 PM
Hey every now and then these things actually work out against all odds. Honestly for your sake, hers and the childs, I sincerely hope this works out for all of you.

Best wishes to you and your new family. Be loyal to eachother. The best marital advice I ever read was be slow to anger and quick to forgive, but always recognize when the relationship is not the focus but the individual agenda is. When it gets to that point be sure you are looking out for yourself too.

That One Guy
04-28-2010, 12:17 PM
I'm actually crying here... this ended so much more hillarious than I could've ever imagined. He was headed off a cliff and just turned on the turbo boosters...

Meck77
04-28-2010, 12:23 PM
Ok. Who's next for a little online messageboard relationship analysis? Step right up!

underrated29
04-28-2010, 12:24 PM
I bet she bans him from the OMane too.



REp!


Thats exactly what I was thinking too. I bet we see him maybe 1 or 2x then BAM- Nadda until 2.5 years from now when he is single again and back on here.



Or- he might be able to sneak on every now and then when she is not looking. I hope so, atleast we know he will be somewhat standing up for himself.




Good luck Mcfoneco. Remember my post because I know I will be right. So far I am....PS- when you get a divorce the movie- forgetting sarah marshall helps.

TheReverend
04-28-2010, 12:26 PM
Oh boy, what do I say in responding?

Thank you for your opinions.

Side note, I mentioned this thread to her, and she saw it, and had this to say in a nustshell:
and what were the results? 20% of the people actually gave you legitimate advice, some told you to wait and save up more money, make investments, etc etc, and the rest of that 20% (the majority of it) told you to follow his heart, that you have nothing to lose.

the other 80% told you in a nutshell, that you're an idiot, to break up with me immediately, and go get laid by some hot chick in texas.

Oh, and that she doesn't like this forum because its mean >.>

haha, I liked that last comment she made.

Nonetheless, after much thinking, you guessed it, I'm going to move. Go ahead and queue this thread up for 6 months if you like, but I truly feel this will be better for my life than not going.

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement and thoughtfulness everyone, and I hope to make it out to a game this year. Couldn't last year because my brother sold all his tickets, I told him I want the Rams game to see my alumni Sam Bradford though.

...is exactly what I would've done and said if I were a flaming homosexual.

Your family = Alpha

You = Beta

You don't deserve your penis.

That One Guy
04-28-2010, 12:28 PM
...is exactly what I would've done and said if I were a flaming homosexual.

Your family = Alpha

You = Beta

You don't deserve your penis.

Hilarious!

Wow, Rev, surprised you don't have an opinion on the matter...

underrated29
04-28-2010, 12:29 PM
Ok. Who's next for a little online messageboard relationship analysis? Step right up!




OOOh Pick me! Pick Me!


ok here it goes..

I met this girl the other day, we hooked up and that night when I went to take a piss It was like my tool was on fire. It burned so bad! I asked her about it and she said that what I am feeling is love burns. We love each other so much that it burns sometimes....

So my question is- Did i really fall in love with a girl in one night?

:flush:

That One Guy
04-28-2010, 12:31 PM
So... I've got this vice on a table in my shop. The vice appears to be the perfect size to put my testicles in and clamp down. I know there are some cons to it, but I think I want to do it. Anyone have an opinion?

Cleo McDowell
04-28-2010, 12:32 PM
OOOh Pick me! Pick Me!


ok here it goes..

I met this girl the other day, we hooked up and that night when I went to take a piss It was like my tool was on fire. It burned so bad! I asked her about it and she said that what I am feeling is love burns. We love each other so much that it burns sometimes....

So my question is- Did i really fall in love with a girl in one night?

:flush:

next question.

TheReverend
04-28-2010, 12:33 PM
OOOh Pick me! Pick Me!


ok here it goes..

I met this girl the other day, we hooked up and that night when I went to take a piss It was like my tool was on fire. It burned so bad! I asked her about it and she said that what I am feeling is love burns. We love each other so much that it burns sometimes....

So my question is- Did i really fall in love with a girl in one night?

:flush:

Yes you did. You should now support her not doing **** and take care of her and her 4 year old on your meager paycheck and then move to SC on a whim after creating a huge rift with your family.

underrated29
04-28-2010, 12:33 PM
So... I've got this vice on a table in my shop. The vice appears to be the perfect size to put my testicles in and clamp down. I know there are some cons to it, but I think I want to do it. Anyone have an opinion?

If you move to SC I think it will be all the better.

broncocalijohn
04-28-2010, 12:36 PM
Moving to SC = Fail

Showing her this thread = Epic Fail

McFoneco, you are total idiot! I would neg rep your post on the details of your decision but you would probably wear it like a badge of honor. 80% told you to do the right thing. You decide to just go to her neck of the woods and say, "**** the correct future. I want to go against sanity." 25 years old and making too many wrong decisions in this decision. Do us all a favor and wear condoms and shove the pill down her pie hole every morning. What we dont need is another kid from stupid parents in this world. You better keep cool with your family and friends because you might need a place to stay in 6 months when you come to your senses. At least a break up in So Carolina will mean she is home with her family. Also, please send us a family portrait of her and her family. Make sure they are all smiling so we can count the gaps in their grill. (lil' lady, I hope you are still reading this thread. I am characterizing your family based on info we have for you.)

DenverBroncosJM
04-28-2010, 12:36 PM
Im really struggling with why you would show her the thread?

I cant think of one good reason.

I bet if Tebow read this thread even he would curse

Cleo McDowell
04-28-2010, 12:37 PM
LOL

Now I usually don't give a f***, but somehow, how this episode ended upsets me.

Meck77
04-28-2010, 12:38 PM
OOOh Pick me! Pick Me!


ok here it goes..

I met this girl the other day, we hooked up and that night when I went to take a piss It was like my tool was on fire. It burned so bad! I asked her about it and she said that what I am feeling is love burns. We love each other so much that it burns sometimes....

So my question is- Did i really fall in love with a girl in one night?

:flush:


This one's easy. Take her straight to the alter buddy. Might consider pouring vodka on your Johnson as well.

Next!

Miss I.
04-28-2010, 12:38 PM
Ok. Who's next for a little online messageboard relationship analysis? Step right up!

Dear Meck77,
I have a problem. I can't seem to stop posting on Orange Mane. What would you advise?

yours with kind regards,
Miss I

That One Guy
04-28-2010, 12:40 PM
Im really struggling with why you would show her the thread?

I cant think of one good reason.

I bet if Tebow read this thread even he would curse

Because I'm still stunned and amazed, I was wondering this exact same thing just a minute ago.

What positive could come of it?

Show his love and dedication to her despite the rest of the world telling him to run? That's pretty much negated by being here in the first place...

So he can have an "I should've listened to them" response in their divorce preceedings?

Totally lacking a good reason...

UberBroncoMan
04-28-2010, 12:42 PM
You live in Amarillo. Do you need a sign?

I concur. Austin is kick ass.

Beantown Bronco
04-28-2010, 12:43 PM
if she looks like "Dukes" avatar, you do whatever she says...

I'd say "this thread is worthless without pics", but it couldn't be further from the truth. This has ROF written all over it.

Still......pics couldn't hurt. The OP needs to make this happen. She better be Helen of Troy-like or I'll never understand the motivation here.

Meck77
04-28-2010, 12:46 PM
Dear Meck77,
I have a problem. I can't seem to stop posting on Orange Mane. What would you advise?

yours with kind regards,
Miss I

Make yourself a whipped cream bikini, take a picture of yourself and start pming every Omaner on the other side of the pond with the pic. You won't have time to post here for awhile. :welcome: Be sure to send one to BroncoBlue. I've seen that guy tailgate. He's a partying fool. He may have remarried though. Meh who cares! Hmm..I'm pretty good at this relationship stuff!

Next!

That One Guy
04-28-2010, 12:48 PM
I'd say "this thread is worthless without pics", but it couldn't be further from the truth. This has ROF written all over it.

Still......pics couldn't hurt. The OP needs to make this happen. She better be Helen of Troy-like or I'll never understand the motivation here.

I think if you both combined, we could have our answer. Helen of Troy looks with a sister that looks like Dukes' girl. And Helen of Troy doesn't mind some sharing or family building activities.

Cleo McDowell
04-28-2010, 01:00 PM
final thought on the subject that i still am trying to digest...

The word "foneco" has forever lost its godlike status in my book.

this thread: -1 for the male species. time to hit one of the josina threads.

Irish Stout
04-28-2010, 01:00 PM
McFoneco - the only advice left, and I sincerely hope you take it... go get some dude friends man. You should never have posted this question in this place to start, should have gone to your close friends (with weiners) for advice. Then any self respecting dude friend would absolutely kick your ass for then sharing said advice with girlfriend.

Good luck to you and I really hope you take the most important advice and not leave TX without a job in SC.

UberBroncoMan
04-28-2010, 01:02 PM
Yeah, I'm not sure about the point of this thread. As others have said, it's quite apparent McFoneco made up his mind and has latched onto the minuscule amount of people who favor him moving. His vision is so diluted he actually called it the "majority" of people, who told him to follow his heart. Very skewed version of reality.

The fact that he showed the girlfriend this thread just shows that she has him on a leash and that she owns him. That alone is a warning sign, and he's too blinded by Disney True Love to realize it.

Rev is right. You don't deserve your penis :(... you need to control your own life, but you also need to step back and realize what the hell you're getting yourself into. Don't settle for less unless you truly don't value yourself... in which case, being some chicks puppet might be what fits you best.

broncocalijohn
04-28-2010, 01:05 PM
Good luck to you and I really hope you take the most important advice and not leave TX without a job in SC.

You really think he is going to take sound advice after disregarding everything in this thread? He should at least post her picture. Any hick with this much baggage better have one hell of a package. It doesnt excuse anything but at least we would know what his other head was thinking. I think we need his pic too to see if he thinks he got someone out of his league. Personally, I dont care what they look like as "out of his league" to me should mean he is major leagues and she is rookie ball.

24champ
04-28-2010, 01:07 PM
McFoneco, turn in your man card please. It's been revoked.

UberBroncoMan
04-28-2010, 01:08 PM
You really think he is going to take sound advice after disregarding everything in this thread? He should at least post her picture. Any hick with this much baggage better have one hell of a package. It doesnt excuse anything but at least we would know what his other head was thinking. I think we need his pic too to see if he thinks he got someone out of his league. Personally, I dont care what they look like as "out of his league" to me should mean he is major leagues and she is rookie ball.

She knows about the thread. She's probably monitoring it while she stays at home not working on her GED. Like he'd get away with that now.

baja
04-28-2010, 01:12 PM
She knows about the thread. She's probably monitoring it while she stays at home not working on her GED. Like he'd get away with that now.

You are assuming she can read...

baja
04-28-2010, 01:13 PM
If she can read and has read this and she is still wanting to go to SC with the dude she is looking for a ride.

TheReverend
04-28-2010, 01:15 PM
She knows about the thread. She's probably monitoring it while she stays at home not working on her GED. Like he'd get away with that now.

If she's reading this thread, then technically she's working on those strict GED reading requirements.

Let's help her practice some math skills.

1+7= ?

3x2= ?

Now for an easier one:

McFoneco= ?

I'll bet she got that last one right:

A "man" no one will ever respect

DennisSmithHOF
04-28-2010, 01:20 PM
This is one of the funniest damn threads I have ever read.

By the way Myrtle Beach is a fun place to visit. Living there would suck nuts.

Tombstone RJ
04-28-2010, 01:20 PM
Ok. Who's next for a little online messageboard relationship analysis? Step right up!

Dear Meck77,

My girlfriend just recently pulled a Lorraina Bobbit on me because I work too much. Even though I'm taking care of her and her 3 illigitimate kids, she thinks I'm too independent. I really don't mind not having a penis because I never used it much with her anyway. The one time she did catch me jagging off in the shower, she laughed at me and then told all her friends.

Now she's coming home late all the time and I get the feeling she's not really interested in us.

Should I sew my penis back on and be done with this relationship, or should I keep letting her kick me in the guts? I know it's a tuff decision, but sometimes I just feel like a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

What should I do?

HILife
04-28-2010, 01:47 PM
This might be a HoF thread.

Doggcow
04-28-2010, 01:58 PM
Sounds like a manipulative, stupid, bitch, but he's in for the pussy. This guy really does need to grow a pair.

Grumps
04-28-2010, 02:00 PM
Dear Meck77,

My girlfriend just recently pulled a Lorraina Bobbit on me because I work too much. Even though I'm taking care of her and her 3 illigitimate kids, she thinks I'm too independent. I really don't mind not having a penis because I never used it much with her anyway. The one time she did catch me jagging off in the shower, she laughed at me and then told all her friends.

Now she's coming home late all the time and I get the feeling she's not really interested in us.

Should I sew my penis back on and be done with this relationship, or should I keep letting her kick me in the guts? I know it's a tuff decision, but sometimes I just feel like a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

What should I do?

Does she have a basement? If so, take an Ambien and report the results.

That One Guy
04-28-2010, 02:03 PM
I can't quote as I don't want to see that picture again but... wow... definitely not cool.

I move to revoke the previous statement of this thread needing pics. All in favor?

underrated29
04-28-2010, 02:05 PM
This is Saving Silverman in real life.....


Mcfoneco- is Darren
Mcfonecos Girl- Judith (amanda peet is hawt too)
Jack black- Requim- in the movie jack black is gay- fits perfectly!
other friend- someone step up. You get the puss and a handy and get to punch her teeth out.




Now someone fly down to SC and kindap the biotch.

SouthStndJunkie
04-28-2010, 02:07 PM
I thought you were simply a young man smitten by a crafty chick and on your way to making a mistake and learning an expensive life lesson....but to show her this thread tells me that she has you gut hooked and can reel you all over the place without a worry or care of you shaking the hook....unless she decides to move on and cut the line when the time is right.

She may get back to South Carolina and start running with her dirt bag friends and decide you don't fit into her life's plans any longer.

Don't bitch about this post....you wanted advice and opinions from neutral people.

Cleo McDowell
04-28-2010, 02:08 PM
I can't quote as I don't want to see that picture again but... wow... definitely not cool.

I move to revoke the previous statement of this thread needing pics. All in favor?

eh. fair enough.

24champ
04-28-2010, 02:14 PM
http://pix.motivatedphotos.com/2009/2/21/633708327637856610-WhippedNeutered.jpg

Florida_Bronco
04-28-2010, 02:15 PM
McFoneco, turn in your man card please. It's been revoked.

He'll just need a second to fish it out of his man purse.

Rohirrim
04-28-2010, 02:16 PM
What's a Myrtle?

yerner
04-28-2010, 02:19 PM
Classic thread.

By the way, who gives a ****? Stop acting like you're moving to another planet.

Rohirrim
04-28-2010, 02:26 PM
HE SHOWED HER THE THREAD?

This guy needs to immediately turn in his nuts and be kicked out of the Man Club.

Where's that "Get the fk out" gif?

broncocalijohn
04-28-2010, 02:27 PM
Does she have a basement? If so, take an Ambien and report the results.

even the lurkers are coming out! You know many read threads and not post. When they do, you get a gem like this. If you dont know what he is talking about, go to search and type in Ambien. AWESOME! REP!

Meck77
04-28-2010, 02:28 PM
Dear Meck77,

My girlfriend just recently pulled a Lorraina Bobbit on me because I work too much. Even though I'm taking care of her and her 3 illigitimate kids, she thinks I'm too independent. I really don't mind not having a penis because I never used it much with her anyway. The one time she did catch me jagging off in the shower, she laughed at me and then told all her friends.

Now she's coming home late all the time and I get the feeling she's not really interested in us.

Should I sew my penis back on and be done with this relationship, or should I keep letting her kick me in the guts? I know it's a tuff decision, but sometimes I just feel like a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

What should I do?

RJ quit feeling sorry for yourself. So she cut off your tool. Big deal!

I know you may feel your life is in her hands but that just isn't the case.

http://www.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/e34a6f42f1.jpg (http://www.freeimagehosting.net/)

Get back out there! You still have a chance unlike McFoneco!

Strap one on if you have to!

Florida_Bronco
04-28-2010, 02:30 PM
HE SHOWED HER THE THREAD?

This guy needs to immediately turn in his nuts and be kicked out of the Man Club.

Where's that "Get the fk out" gif?

http://angrybull.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/picard-gtfo.jpg

broncocalijohn
04-28-2010, 02:30 PM
I bet she bans him from the OMane too.

If I was TJ, I would have done it after he posted that he showed her this thread.

TheReverend
04-28-2010, 02:31 PM
HE SHOWED HER THE THREAD?

This guy needs to immediately turn in his nuts and be kicked out of the Man Club.

Where's that "Get the fk out" gif?

Probably already turned them in when you did?

At the age of 25, you can take some gambles. Follow your heart.

broncocalijohn
04-28-2010, 02:35 PM
Dear Meck77,

My girlfriend just recently pulled a Lorraina Bobbit on me because I work too much. Even though I'm taking care of her and her 3 illigitimate kids, she thinks I'm too independent. I really don't mind not having a penis because I never used it much with her anyway. The one time she did catch me jagging off in the shower, she laughed at me and then told all her friends.

Now she's coming home late all the time and I get the feeling she's not really interested in us.

Should I sew my penis back on and be done with this relationship, or should I keep letting her kick me in the guts? I know it's a tuff decision, but sometimes I just feel like a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

What should I do?

There is hope for you. Watch this video by King Missle
http://www.spike.com/video/king-missile/2789667

broncocalijohn
04-28-2010, 02:37 PM
HE SHOWED HER THE THREAD?

This guy needs to immediately turn in his nuts and be kicked out of the Man Club.

Where's that "Get the fk out" gif?

Good job rev on probably the one post that McFonecowhipped took as advice. Follow your heart? He came in because he was confused. Follow your heart? Sounds like liberal crap to me. Brains is what he needed to follow.

WolfpackGuy
04-28-2010, 02:38 PM
This is some funny ****.

All I'm saying is, "Don't knock her up."

Then you're stuck with her ass in some capacity for at least 18 years.

24champ
04-28-2010, 02:38 PM
http://itsguycode.com/images/stories/images/whipped-duff.jpg

TheChamp24
04-28-2010, 02:38 PM
Okay guys, here you go:
http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/2783/mancard2.jpg

broncocalijohn
04-28-2010, 02:40 PM
Okay guys, here you go:
http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/2783/mancard2.jpg

I guess a vote on this is to take place. Thank you for posting it.

TheReverend
04-28-2010, 02:40 PM
Okay guys, here you go:
http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/2783/mancard2.jpg

Roh's next post

Live <3 Laugh <3 Love!

bronclvr
04-28-2010, 02:41 PM
:pity:

24champ
04-28-2010, 02:41 PM
McFoneco...might want to subscribe to this mag.


http://itsguycode.com/images/stories/images/whipped-magazine-2.jpg

Florida_Bronco
04-28-2010, 02:43 PM
Okay guys, here you go:
http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/2783/mancard2.jpg

Somebody burn that bitch!

Meck77
04-28-2010, 02:44 PM
Did anyone notice that the thread title said "Serious please"? Just sayin....

Rohirrim
04-28-2010, 02:52 PM
Probably already turned them in when you did?

Hey! That was way back at the beginning when I could afford to be magnanimous.

24champ
04-28-2010, 02:53 PM
I guess a vote on this is to take place. Thank you for posting it.

Decision's been made...

http://mseewv.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/man-card.jpg

HILife
04-28-2010, 02:55 PM
This might be a HoF thread.

I stand corrected. This IS a HoF thread.

ghwk
04-28-2010, 02:59 PM
Yes can we have a pic of her and you? I guess it's possible we could still decide she is the one giving up her future here.

Really I see nothing mean in these responses at all! Hilarious!

Crap pic is posted and its blocked here at work. Still if I may infer it's a closer call than I thought but he is still hosed.

HILife
04-28-2010, 03:00 PM
Okay guys, here you go:
http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/2783/mancard2.jpg

"unless a heroic dog dies"

So Sad.

http://www.dudehisattva.com/vicoldyeller.jpg

Rohirrim
04-28-2010, 03:02 PM
Yes can we have a pic of her and you? I guess it's possible we could still decide she is the one giving up her future here.

Really I see nothing mean in these responses at all! Hilarious!

Yeah. He has to post pics. Maybe that will change all of the responses.

Eldorado
04-28-2010, 03:06 PM
No way she lets him put a pick of her on here.

cutthemdown
04-28-2010, 03:08 PM
Yeah unless she is hot it will just get worst.

Funniest thread in quite sometime.

elsid13
04-28-2010, 03:10 PM
Did anyone notice that the thread title said "Serious please"? Just sayin....

Until someone post Spider in golden thong pics, then the thread is serious.

elsid13
04-28-2010, 03:12 PM
Serious the only thing worse for McFoneco1331, is to discover that she gave him crabs.

TheChamp24
04-28-2010, 03:13 PM
Serious the only thing worse for McFoneco1331, is to discover that she gave him crabs.

http://www.t-shirthumor.com/Merchant2/graphics/fullsize/crab_lg.gif

ghwk
04-28-2010, 03:19 PM
"You don't deserve your penis"

That's what I call getting the most out of a sentence.

Nice Rev!

pokenation
04-28-2010, 03:26 PM
this just proves one thing..........not all educated people are smart.:thumbsup:

theAPAOps5
04-28-2010, 03:27 PM
Oh boy, what do I say in responding?

Thank you for your opinions.

Side note, I mentioned this thread to her, and she saw it, and had this to say in a nustshell:
and what were the results? 20% of the people actually gave you legitimate advice, some told you to wait and save up more money, make investments, etc etc, and the rest of that 20% (the majority of it) told you to follow his heart, that you have nothing to lose.

the other 80% told you in a nutshell, that you're an idiot, to break up with me immediately, and go get laid by some hot chick in texas.

Oh, and that she doesn't like this forum because its mean >.>

haha, I liked that last comment she made.

Nonetheless, after much thinking, you guessed it, I'm going to move. Go ahead and queue this thread up for 6 months if you like, but I truly feel this will be better for my life than not going.

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement and thoughtfulness everyone, and I hope to make it out to a game this year. Couldn't last year because my brother sold all his tickets, I told him I want the Rams game to see my alumni Sam Bradford though.

HOLY. SANTA CLAUSE. SH@t

http://taitk.com/other/Facepalm.jpg

maher_tyler
04-28-2010, 04:24 PM
You showed her the thread :punched::bash::unamused:

And i guess 120% of the Mane gave you advice according to her...awesome!

You lost your balls a long time ago!!

ghwk
04-28-2010, 04:34 PM
I'm sad to see this thread die. :Whaaaa!:

TheReverend
04-28-2010, 04:36 PM
So OP... when was the first time you tiitb?

TheChamp24
04-28-2010, 05:22 PM
So OP... when was the first time you tiitb?

Probably in my next life as a deranged lesbian who loves anal foreplay.
When was your first time?

That One Guy
04-28-2010, 05:43 PM
Seriously, since you're still around, why did you choose to show her? What was the mindset and goal there? Truly am curious, not trying to lure you into another laugh here.

Popps
04-28-2010, 06:17 PM
OP:

Hey guys, I need some really serious advice and I'm open to suggestion. What's your opinion.

Forum:

You should do: X.

OP: Do X?

O.K., I'm going to do Y rather than what you suggested. Later.

Houshyamama
04-28-2010, 06:22 PM
Another one bites the dust.

This will not end well for you.

You have chosen... poorly.

http://vwt.d2g.com:8081/IndianaJonesHOlyGrail.jpg

FADERPROOF
04-28-2010, 06:23 PM
Okay, I'm in the process of making a decision in my life, and need some advice.

I am currently living in Texas, and I hate it here, only reason I moved here was to be near my family. However, there are family issues and I really want to move away.
First, let me say I got involved with a great woman, and we got engaged not too long ago. She moved here in Texas to be with me, but alas, she hates it here too. Now, I don't want to get in too many details, but she had a terrible childhood that caused her to have to drop out of high school, but is set on getting a GED to get into college. She is 22, and I am 25 with a Bachelor's in Accounting from University of Oklahoma. I have an okay job for a private company here, but could definitely get a better one with the economy picking up. She hasn't had a job because she continues to get hired at a place and either not like it, or the pay/hours are **** and no use working it for getting the price back to cover the gas.
Also, she has a 4 year old daughter, so makes it tougher.
Now, she comes from the East Coast, Myrtle Beach, SC. She is very easy-going, comfortable and I'll say "care-free". Most people over there are. Well, she tells me we can move to Myrtle Beach, cut our expenses down, she can easily get a job as a server, and she has contacts and a staffing agency that can get me a job in a month. Basically, become financially stable because we aren't here.
Now, my parents/family will be upset due to the fact that I am leaving a job, known income, to go someplace where there is no guarantee, and also have no money.

I know I'm leaving some stuff out, but basically, I want to hear what other people think of moving out there, which she wants to do in June, for what she feels is the right thing to do, and will make us stable and happy.

Do it, though its tough for me to be neutral on this...

You are 25, jobs can come and go but you have love and the making of a family, dont let that slip away because of a job or other family members.

2 things you said, you hate it in Texas and you have a great woman, what else is there to ponder? Dont pass this opportunity up man, I'm telling you that you will be kicking yourself in the ass so hard forever, trust me on this.

Doggcow
04-28-2010, 06:27 PM
OP:

Hey guys, I need some really serious advice and I'm open to suggestion. What's your opinion.

Forum:

You should do: X.

OP: Do X?

O.K., I'm going to do Y rather than what you suggested. Later.

No one really expected him to listen though. This is one of those stupid things that someone like the OP has to do and ruin their lives on their own, before they listen to anyone.

DomCasual
04-28-2010, 06:31 PM
Do it, though its tough for me to be neutral on this...

You are 25, jobs can come and go but you have love and the making of a family, dont let that slip away because of a job or other family members.

2 things you said, you hate it in Texas and you have a great woman, what else is there to ponder? Dont pass this opportunity up man, I'm telling you that you will be kicking yourself in the ass so hard forever, trust me on this.

You are way too late on this thread. This ship has sailed, and it was the Titanic.

FADERPROOF
04-28-2010, 06:38 PM
You are way too late on this thread. This ship has sailed, and it was the Titanic.

Yeah I noticed that haha, I didnt go through all pages, just felt like chiming in with my opinion.

He is doing it and itll turn out to be the best decision of his life.

That One Guy
04-28-2010, 06:39 PM
Yeah I noticed that haha, I didnt go through all pages, just felt like chiming in with my opinion.

He is doing it and itll turn out to be the best decision of his life.

High risk, low reward isn't the kind of decision he should be seizing. Could be very good, could be amazingly horrible.

sutoazul
04-28-2010, 06:39 PM
Seriously.... one of the best threads here!!!

GreeleyGrizzley
04-28-2010, 06:59 PM
Epic thread.

FADERPROOF
04-28-2010, 07:03 PM
High risk, low reward isn't the kind of decision he should be seizing. Could be very good, could be amazingly horrible.

Well I did say that its hard for me to be neutral on this, but really I think that a relationship should come first and its only a plus that he hates Texas to begin with.

If my kid's mom moves out of state, I'm gone the next day and I dont even have a Bachelors degree like foneco does...he'll find a job and the rest will be a breeze.

daysofcoleco
04-28-2010, 07:14 PM
Well I did say that its hard for me to be neutral on this, but really I think that a relationship should come first and its only a plus that he hates Texas to begin with.

If my kid's mom moves out of state, I'm gone the next day and I dont even have a Bachelors degree like foneco does...he'll find a job and the rest will be a breeze.

I think they're trying to get away from you... Stalker.

baja
04-28-2010, 07:24 PM
She got one thing right we are mean.....

Slade
04-28-2010, 07:35 PM
At the age of 25, you can take some gambles. Follow your heart.

Oh so true. When I was 25, I went to St. Thomas for 3 years. The time to do it is when you are young.

WyoLaw
04-28-2010, 07:42 PM
Did we ever get a picture of this chick?

baja
04-28-2010, 07:46 PM
Did we ever get a picture of this chick?

http://www.gizmowatch.com/images/mantis2.jpg