PDA

View Full Version : Football Cliche's you hate


Rock Chalk
11-04-2009, 11:38 AM
1) "Are the [team] for real?"
This one bugs the **** out of me. Yes they are for real. They are not imaginary, they are a real football team. Shut the **** up with your teenage cliche's.

2) "Their backs are against the wall".
Really you dip****? What makes you say that? Because last I checked there were no walls on a football field.

3) "[team] is quietly winning"
You know what assholes, its because your heads are so far crammed up [popular team]'s ass you don't talk about anyone else. Pay attention!

4) "[player] is overrated"
Guess what douchebag, you are the dumbasses overrating these players. STFU dimwits (an ode to Mock).

5) "This [player] is electric"
If whoever it was, was really electric, he'd be in a lab being dissected by scientists. What the **** is wrong with saying ['player'] is exciting to watch? Nothing, you just want to use obtuse adjectives to describe excitement. That makes you not only a pretentious ****, but a colossal ****tard as well.

What are some of the cliche's you hate?

Rohirrim
11-04-2009, 11:39 AM
"If not for that tackle, he could have gone all the way."

Smiling Assassin27
11-04-2009, 11:42 AM
he's a game manager...

broncocalijohn
11-04-2009, 11:42 AM
Anytime a broadcaster compares a white receiver to another white receiver from the past. I cant wait until one of them describes a white guy with a black guy. They need to realize it isnt the color but type of player.

Smiling Assassin27
11-04-2009, 11:43 AM
they left it all on the field

Smiling Assassin27
11-04-2009, 11:43 AM
Anytime a broadcaster compares a white receiver to another white receiver from the past. I cant wait until one of them describes a white guy with a black guy. They need to realize it isnt the color but type of player.

he's deceptively fast/quick.

Smiling Assassin27
11-04-2009, 11:44 AM
pin their ears back...wtf?

ak1971
11-04-2009, 11:44 AM
anything about 'weapons'

mr007
11-04-2009, 11:48 AM
I don't like it when they do player comparisons in general.

Ohh his release looks a lot like Montana/Marino/Elway/Etc.... STFU it does not.

The way he runs reminds me of Barry/Payton/Etc. SHUT YOUR ****ING MOUTH no it doesn't....

missingnumber7
11-04-2009, 11:49 AM
Along the same line with AK..."It was a war out there" "That was a real battle"


And Trap games

Smiling Assassin27
11-04-2009, 11:50 AM
he's dangerous in space...

Rigs11
11-04-2009, 11:52 AM
"he's a franchise quarterback"

"they've been exposed"

DeuceOfClub
11-04-2009, 12:00 PM
"He's like a kid out there"

boltaneer
11-04-2009, 12:00 PM
"It is what it is."

Mogulseeker
11-04-2009, 12:03 PM
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1F4W0R1Zr_8&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1F4W0R1Zr_8&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

go_broncos
11-04-2009, 12:03 PM
Cutler is a Franchise QB

loborugger
11-04-2009, 12:06 PM
Any "he's the best." Usually alluded to by Madden, as in, "He's the best 3rd down pass rush specialist in the rain in Nov and Dec games."

Traveler
11-04-2009, 12:11 PM
"We have to look in the mirror." Yada, Yada, yada...

STBumpkin
11-04-2009, 12:12 PM
"Smash-mouth"
"Up the gut"
"Shut-down corner"
"Thunder and lightning"
"Change-of-pace-back"

55CrushEm
11-04-2009, 12:20 PM
"So and so is SPECIAL !"

Rohirrim
11-04-2009, 12:26 PM
"They were who we thought they were! Okay?"


Wait. Actually, I kind of like that one. ;D

Rohirrim
11-04-2009, 12:29 PM
And what about the living, breathing cliche that is Bill Belichick? One of these days I wish the reporters that are forced to cover that team would just stand up, and in unison, nail him with pies, or silly string, or something. His press conferences are torture.

theAPAOps5
11-04-2009, 12:32 PM
We are only a few players away....

Can also be

We just need a few more pieces....


The ever popular their record doesn't reflect the talent they have (when talking about Detroit, KC, the Raiders, etc...)

The Joker
11-04-2009, 12:32 PM
"He caught the ball with his hands."

Aye, he's hardly gonna catch it between his ****ing buttcheeks is he?!

(Although the term does make sense, just always sounds ridiculous when they say it)

theAPAOps5
11-04-2009, 12:36 PM
Oh another one I hate:

We left a lot of plays on the field today.....

Well where do they go if they aren't on the field?

Smiling Assassin27
11-04-2009, 12:45 PM
"They were who we thought they were! Okay?"


Wait. Actually, I kind of like that one. ;D


<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/lGXHxhDMBBY&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/lGXHxhDMBBY&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

sgbfan
11-04-2009, 12:47 PM
"something gotta give"

BroncoLifer
11-04-2009, 12:49 PM
"Smith is out with a knee."

Not actually a cliche, but I hate it...

Peoples Champ
11-04-2009, 12:51 PM
if he was a better player, he would have made that play

Smiling Assassin27
11-04-2009, 12:53 PM
"When the seagulls follow the trawler it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea."

Smiling Assassin27
11-04-2009, 12:55 PM
the one that drives me up the wall is when commentator/talking heads say:

when you think about the (insert team/player here)...sorry tom jackson, stop it...

Williams
11-04-2009, 01:01 PM
Yeah, lot of pressure. You gotta rise above it. You gotta harness in the good energy, block out the bad. Harness. Energy. Block. Bad. Feel the flow, Happy. Feel it. Itís circular. Itís like a carousel. You pay the quarter, you get on the horse. It goes up and down and around. Circular. Circle. With the music. The flowÖ all good things.

Mr.Meanie
11-04-2009, 01:12 PM
The most overused ones that come to my mind:

Shutdown Corner
Franchise QB
Game Manager
Could. go. all. the. way.
Backs up against the wall
Over/Underrated
Smashmouth football
Upset special
They are who we thought they were
This is Division 1 football...This is the Big 12

Beej
11-04-2009, 01:21 PM
We've got to play 60 minutes.

Smiling Assassin27
11-04-2009, 01:30 PM
Take it to the house.

Rabb
11-04-2009, 01:33 PM
the most overused one is "at the end of the day"

ColoradoDarin
11-04-2009, 01:34 PM
Hypnotist: You will give 110 percent.
Team: That's impossible no one can give more than 100 percent. By definition that's the most any one can give

Taco John
11-04-2009, 01:35 PM
It's not necessarily a football one, but I'm over "Capital Letter-First syllable of the last name" nicknames.

A-Rod
T-Mac
B-Dawk

ColoradoDarin
11-04-2009, 01:36 PM
comparing anything to another sport - it's a marathon, he boxed him out like a basketball player

ColoradoDarin
11-04-2009, 01:36 PM
It's not necessarily a football one, but I'm over "Capital Letter-First syllable of the last name" nicknames.

A-Rod
T-Mac
B-Dawk

I'm with you T-Jo

Taco John
11-04-2009, 01:38 PM
Big ups, CoDar.

Hogan11
11-04-2009, 01:41 PM
That's why they play the games

bowtown
11-04-2009, 02:09 PM
"I want to swallow Brett Favre's testicles"

Paladin
11-04-2009, 02:19 PM
"Boom!"

BlaK-Argentina
11-04-2009, 02:23 PM
"He's like a kid out there"

I hate that one so much.

"He's lost a step"

gunns
11-04-2009, 02:27 PM
"He's like a kid out there"

That was mine. With Madden and now this year on Favre it's nothing but cliche's, this one drives me nuts.

The other is a Madden special also, 2 seconds left, team down by 5, and he says, "if they want to win, they need to make this td." Gee ya think?

Smiling Assassin27
11-04-2009, 02:30 PM
One of Shanny's that drove me nuts:

If (insert bland and unimaginative task), good things will happen.

Mogulseeker
11-04-2009, 02:35 PM
That was mine. With Madden and now this year on Favre it's nothing but cliche's, this one drives me nuts.

The other is a Madden special also, 2 seconds left, team down by 5, and he says, "if they want to win, they need to make this td." Gee ya think?

Dennis Miller was better than Madden.

Madden was the gluttonous fat king of stating the obvious.

Smiling Assassin27
11-04-2009, 02:37 PM
defense wins championships

Bronco Warrior
11-04-2009, 02:55 PM
"He caught the ball with his hands."

Aye, he's hardly gonna catch it between his ****ing buttcheeks is he?!

(Although the term does make sense, just always sounds ridiculous when they say it)

Not sure if this will cause it to irritate you less but what they mean is catching it away from the body actually using the hands to take total control of the ball rather than letting it hit the body and then corralling it. "Catching it with the hands" is proper technique and isn't as sloppy or lazy as the other way.
Just hope that helps ;)

Beej
11-04-2009, 02:59 PM
Arrgh! I can't believe I forgot this one...

They've got to run to set up the pass.

Bronco Warrior
11-04-2009, 03:00 PM
Hate Madden is you want but He brought football to the masses, and I don't mean his games. He explained the game (will irritating to some) in a way that beginners and housewives could understand and get into. Before Madden came along most women I know thought a Tight End was a guy with a nice ass, an "end around" was what you did when changed positions during Sex, and a Quarter Back is what you got when you put in a dollar for a can of soda!!~ There is a reason he is considered on of the greatest Football commentators in history!

Bronco Warrior
11-04-2009, 03:01 PM
Arrgh! I can't believe I forgot this one...

They've got to run to set up the pass.

BYU and the origins of the concepts in the WCO proved that you can use the short pass to set up the pass! LMAO!

DenverBrit
11-04-2009, 03:14 PM
"We shocked the world!!"

Always get a big laugh out of that one.

Dendave
11-04-2009, 03:14 PM
Not sure if it fits here, but when I was leaving the Baltimore game Sunday, someone yelled "Elway is a horse". I mean realy, that's the best you can do? He hasn't even plaed in 10 years, wasn't on the field, or why we lost, I just looked at my wife and started laughing.

Bronco LB52
11-04-2009, 04:15 PM
1. "He has that IT factor"

2. "Coach Singletary came in and changed the culture of the football team"

3. "The Colts will prevail due to the Peyton Mannings, Reggie Waynes, Dallas Clarks, Dwight Freeneys, Joseph Addais."

4. "Trap game"

Bronco Warrior
11-04-2009, 05:29 PM
Did we cover "desperation" or "Must win" game?

Bronco Warrior
11-04-2009, 05:30 PM
"offensive genius"

worm
11-04-2009, 06:07 PM
Over-using Position Names. Mike, Sam, Will.

'Second level'.

'Running downhill'

ZONA
11-04-2009, 06:15 PM
Great post by the way

Not sure if this is a cliche but it was over used for a long period of time and only now is it starting to go away, unless your last name is Brown. AND I FRICKIN HATE IT TO DEATH.


PAYDIRT

I mean come the F on already. This was the most stupid and lame tag ever invented for football.

Some other common ones I hate:

"can he trust him"

"we are playing for each other"

and maybe the most used cliche in all of sports............

"god was on our side today" or "I want to thank god for blessing me with skills"

jacob2125
11-04-2009, 06:39 PM
"System player"

This one bugs me more than anything. No **** he's a system player. Everyone in the NFL is a system player.

Kid A
11-04-2009, 06:45 PM
To steal one from deadspin: (insert QB name) is showing a lot of "poise" in the pocket.

Kid A
11-04-2009, 06:46 PM
As much as you'll miss (injured player's name) ability on the field, how big of a loss is not having his leadership out there?

Circle Orange
11-04-2009, 06:51 PM
"He's a players coach."

"They have a soft schedule."

"We just have to play (insert team name here) football."

"Football players play football." (WTF)

"Shut up and play football."

"He has to get the players to buy into it."

"At least Snyder spends money and wants to win."

"Bidwell is cheap."

"Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre (repeat full name two hundred times in each broadcast)

Pony Boy
11-04-2009, 07:01 PM
He Plays Bigger than He is

Mogulseeker
11-04-2009, 07:06 PM
"We just have to play (insert team name here) football."


AKA John Elway.

I can't count the number of times he's said, "We've just gotta play Broncos football and we'll come out on top."

Pony Boy
11-04-2009, 07:13 PM
"That's a circus catch"

"He has a motor that won’t quit"

The Joker
11-04-2009, 07:44 PM
Not sure if this will cause it to irritate you less but what they mean is catching it away from the body actually using the hands to take total control of the ball rather than letting it hit the body and then corralling it. "Catching it with the hands" is proper technique and isn't as sloppy or lazy as the other way.
Just hope that helps ;)

I know that, it just always sounds hilarious when they come out with it.

I've had to explain where the term comes from a few times when watching with people who aren't really that big into football.

GeniusatWork
11-04-2009, 10:59 PM
An uncommon one, but dumb as they come:

"That interception was as good as a punt"

azbroncfan
11-04-2009, 11:03 PM
Turn the DL loose.

strafen
11-04-2009, 11:13 PM
The game is won in the trenches

broncocalijohn
11-04-2009, 11:55 PM
Not sure if this will cause it to irritate you less but what they mean is catching it away from the body actually using the hands to take total control of the ball rather than letting it hit the body and then corralling it. "Catching it with the hands" is proper technique and isn't as sloppy or lazy as the other way.
Just hope that helps ;)

OMG! You just didnt explain it to the poster who said it does make since? BW, you are killing yourself everytime you respond. Reread his post.

McDman
11-05-2009, 12:04 AM
BYU and the origins of the concepts in the WCO proved that you can use the short pass to set up the pass! LMAO!

I hate you so much...

lex
11-05-2009, 12:10 AM
When they say someone is "in the zone."

lex
11-05-2009, 12:14 AM
It's not necessarily a football one, but I'm over "Capital Letter-First syllable of the last name" nicknames.

A-Rod
T-Mac
B-Dawk

Those are portmanteaus.

azbroncfan
11-05-2009, 12:19 AM
Here is a guy who brings his lunch pail and hard hat to work.

lex
11-05-2009, 12:23 AM
..."and here is another guy who is really into some freaky sex with Kenyan women."

GoBroncos DownUnder
11-05-2009, 12:26 AM
110%

The Joker
11-05-2009, 05:24 AM
Something that annoys me is the way coaches always say

"They're a very good football team/ he's a very good football player" rather than just saying "they're a very good team/ he's a very good player".

Yes, you're an NFL coach, you're talking about an unpcoming game against an NFL team. I think we get that you're talking about football.

bowtown
11-05-2009, 06:15 AM
Big time players make big time plays.

Gort
11-05-2009, 06:49 AM
three-peat.

anyone who says it for any sport needs to be immediately skewered on red hot pokers.

ShutDownPoster
11-05-2009, 07:11 AM
we, you, I, they, need a ' sense of urgency' This term is played to death.

Inkana7
11-05-2009, 08:52 AM
Wow, I've had Chris Collinsworth's voice in my head while reading all of these.

So anything he says.

Peoples Champ
11-05-2009, 09:01 AM
110%


gameface

broncocalijohn
11-05-2009, 11:00 AM
This one is for baseball but i dont think we need a baseball one. Here it is, "A grand slam HOMERUN!" If a grand slam is a homerun, why say homerun?" Just say "Grand Slam".

lex
11-05-2009, 11:08 AM
This one is for baseball but i dont think we need a baseball one. Here it is, "A grand slam HOMERUN!" If a grand slam is a homerun, why say homerun?" Just say "Grand Slam".

RBIs

Its "runs batted in", not "runs batted ins."

broncocalijohn
11-05-2009, 11:15 AM
RBIs

Its "runs batted in", not "runs batted ins."

good one. Never thought about that.

Irish Stout
11-05-2009, 04:21 PM
This one is for baseball but i dont think we need a baseball one. Here it is, "A grand slam HOMERUN!" If a grand slam is a homerun, why say homerun?" Just say "Grand Slam".

Right people don't say its a square rectangle... sheesh

"the o-line needs to dominate up front." Where else would they dominate? Maybe they'd dominate some steaks at a bbq, but come on.

crush17
11-05-2009, 04:26 PM
did anyone say "tweaked a hammy" yet? cuz i hate that...

Archer81
11-05-2009, 04:32 PM
Jaws: Now (insert player name) is a football player...

What are the other 21 guys on the field?

:Broncos:

TexanBob
11-05-2009, 04:49 PM
It's been phased out now but they used to say "(Speedster) can fly!"

I yell at the tv, "Well, if he can fly, why is he running?"

George Carlin used to poke fun of "(injured player) was shaken up on the play."

Shaken up? How about "he had the **** kicked out of him"?!?

Master___Pain
11-05-2009, 05:03 PM
Chris Berman, pretty much anything that comes out of that turbodouches mouth.

"Buckle your seat belt folks...."

"This is like two heavy weights duking it out"

Hogan11
11-05-2009, 05:22 PM
Cool as the other side of the pillow

SAM, MIKE, WILL ....it's pretty sad when you can't just say the name of the position anymore

Archer81
11-05-2009, 05:26 PM
Some more of mine.

Anything Stuart Scott says.

Anything Matt Millen says.

:Broncos:

oubronco
11-05-2009, 05:32 PM
on the other side "He's rumblin bumlin stumblin" is one of my favorites

azbroncfan
11-05-2009, 05:36 PM
Booya!

Circle Orange
11-05-2009, 06:29 PM
"That's a circus catch"

"He has a motor that wonít quit"

LOL! I heard the "motor" one today on 980 the TEAM...they were going over the list of NFL's dirtiest players and were talking about Jared Alan (he only ranked 10th btw).

Circle Orange
11-05-2009, 06:30 PM
"He got...JACKED UP!"

"Come on, man!" (altho I kinda like this one)

"You play to win the game."

"PLAYOFFS?"

(the last two are overdone to the point of not being funny at all, but tiresome)

gunns
11-05-2009, 09:52 PM
Hate Madden is you want but He brought football to the masses, and I don't mean his games. He explained the game (will irritating to some) in a way that beginners and housewives could understand and get into. Before Madden came along most women I know thought a Tight End was a guy with a nice ass, an "end around" was what you did when changed positions during Sex, and a Quarter Back is what you got when you put in a dollar for a can of soda!!~ There is a reason he is considered on of the greatest Football commentators in history!

Well what you've stated here is exactly why I did dislike him. Besides getting to the point where you went "WHAT??" when he spoke he was the king of the obvious. Beginners and "housewives"? could understand it because you'd have to be completely stupid not to be able to figure out "if they want to win they need to make this TD". And basically I don't know who you know but most women I know know enough about football to know Madden was a joke. No, I don't think he was condescending, he meant what he said as if it were top notch analysis. Remove the ysis and you have Madden.

Circle Orange
11-05-2009, 11:20 PM
Wow, I've had Chris Collinsworth's voice in my head while reading all of these.

So anything he says.

With that sexy nasal whine that sends me straight to the bottle.

"On any given day, anyone can beat anyone." (or substitute anybody, same difference)

"He's got a rocket."

"He's a statue back there." (see Drew Bledsoe trope)

"He's a running quarterback." (duh, qbs are supposed to be passers. I guess there aren't any standing quarterbacks around)

"They've already quieted the crowd."

"They got a favorable spot."

"The players today are bigger, faster, stronger." (each and every day?)

"He can't see over the line." (who does, unless they're seven feet tall?)

azbroncfan
11-05-2009, 11:32 PM
What would people like the guys to say? Nothing and talk monotone like a robot?

Archer81
11-05-2009, 11:43 PM
What would people like the guys to say? Nothing and talk monotone like a robot?


They have one of those. I believe he works for fox with Troy Aikman.

:Broncos:

Paladin
11-06-2009, 07:45 AM
One "finger nails on the blackboard" observation: He made an athletic move, or, he made a football move.

As opposed to just moving?

Peoples Champ
11-06-2009, 07:56 AM
"its not his fault, he needs better weapons"

"its not his fault, he needs better protection"

"its not his fault, he needs a better defense"

BlaK-Argentina
11-06-2009, 07:59 AM
They have one of those. I believe he works for fox with Troy Aikman.

:Broncos:

ROFL! That guy is unbelievable.

Mr.Meanie
11-06-2009, 08:24 AM
"He's a football player"

Circle Orange
11-06-2009, 07:09 PM
What would people like the guys to say? Nothing and talk monotone like a robot?

Heh, we just want NEW cliches! :)

"They've missed the window of opportunity."

"He doesn't have that burst."

"In this salary cap era..."

"He's an offensive genius."

Circle Orange
11-06-2009, 07:10 PM
They have one of those. I believe he works for fox with Troy Aikman.

:Broncos:

Dig it! I saw the key turning in his back...Aikman kept winding it up. ROFL!

Archer81
11-06-2009, 08:14 PM
"Controlled chaos"

"Man on a mission"

"Get that gleam, men"

:Broncos: