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View Full Version : My feelings on Favre as a Viking


61Vikefan
08-31-2009, 09:16 AM
My favorite team has signed Brett Favre after giving that ****ing ahole time to milk the publicity machine to the last drop. It was always going to happen. Debating whether or not it would was a complete waste of ****ing time. When it comes to the Land Baron, speculation always becomes reality.

Itís fitting that it would come this. For years and years, I have ****ing loathed Brett Favre with every fiber of my being. He is the single most self-aggrandizing piece of garbage who ever walked the Earth, the most blatantly phony human being in America this side of Bobby Bowden. Say what you will of openly douchebaggy people like Matt Leinart or Jay Cutler. At least there are no illusions when it comes to those gentsí intentions. Everything about Favre Ė from his style of play to his carefully cultivated everyman image - is complete crap, and everything about the man is tiresome, to the point where hating him has become an even more tiresome enterprise than whatever it is that makes him tiresome to begin with. Not only am I sick of this POS, but Iím sick of being sick of him. And I resent that everyone is so tired of hating him, that Iím beating a dead horse by still hating him.

I have always argued that pro athletes should play their respective sports as long as they damn well please, because itís still a kickass job even if you arenít all that good at it anymore. So I donít begrudge Favre his right to play football, even if itís for the Vikings. What I do begrudge is the fact that this ahole NEVER WANTED TO STOP PLAYING TO BEGIN WITH. He knew the second he rererereretired earlier this year that heíd try and get his release so he could play in Minnesota. This whole myth perpetrated by Peter King that, ďI donít think even Brett Favre knows what Brett Favre is going to doĒ is the most insulting pile of crap Iíve ever heard. That POS knows exactly what the **** heís doing, and anyone who says otherwise probably spends all day licking radiators.

Make no mistake, now that the Vikings have signed Favre, it wonít be the final piece in some kind of championship puzzle. Itíll be the nothing more than the final nail in the coffin for Brad Childress. Itíll be the last act of a desperate coach who has spent the past three years wasting an otherwise talented roster on unimaginative schemes and an abject failure to produce anything of note at the quarterback position. This ahole had three years to cultivate a decent QB for this team. Three. A frigging lifetime in NFL years.

Instead, he insisted he could develop Tarvaris Jackson, who can play the position somewhat decently only when there is nothing important to play for. Jackson was drafted by Fran Foley, the onetime Vikings personnel director who was immediately fired after the Jackson draft, for warning his secretary there would be a coming ďbloodbathĒ (his word): a mass firing of scouts and team administrators. Foley traded two third-round picks to select Jackson, whose predraft grades (most pegged him as a late round pick to rookie free agent) immediately made his selection the equivalent of the Raidersí Michael Mitchell.

The Vikings could have made any number of moves in recent years to give Jackson competition, or to outright replace him. They had a chance to trade for Matt Schaub. Instead, they did virtually nothing until trading for Sage Rosenfels earlier this year. Itís an indictment of just how poorly prepared Jackson is that Rosenfels, who averages one interception for every 20 pass attempts, represents a colossal upgrade at the position.

And now, only now, after time and again ****ing up the QB situation, does Childress feel urgently compelled to seriously upgrade the position. And how is he going about it? By signing an erratic 39-year-old journeyman with half a bicep. Hey sh*tbox, you already have an erratic journeyman on the roster. Do we really need ****ing multiples of them?

Iíve heard arguments in the Minnesota media that, while Favre almost certainly offers no January promise for the Vikings, that his presence will at least make the coming season more interesting. Well, you know what? I donít want my team to be ****ing interesting. I want my team to ****ing WIN. Iíve seen this team do the interesting thing before, with Denny Green and Randy Moss and all that crap. It was fun. But ultimately, it ended up going to crap.

Interesting teams donít win it all in the NFL anymore. If you want to win a Super Bowl, youíre better off being the most boring team alive. Look at the Steelers. They change coaches once every two decades. They never sign big name free agents, particularly those ďheís the final piece!Ē type free agents. They donít do any of that crap. They keep things running smoothly, and then they go win titles. And they donít sign players I despise.

Thatís the biggest dagger of all in this whole sh*tshow. That seething hatred I have of Brett Favre is part of who I am. Itís ingrained in my very being. When I die, my body will turn into nothing but solid black ash. I wonít go to Heaven. I wonít go to Hell. Iíll simply stop existing. Not a trace of me will be left, on this plane or any other. But, even then, I assure you Iíll still find a way to ****ing hate Brett Favre.

And now, as a final, personal **** YOU to every Viking fan like me who ever wished him dead, that ****face is now going to make it so I have to root for him. I actually have to cheer when he goes and does something good. And that makes me hate his ****ing guts all the more. Because now Iím supposed to buy into all his crap.

That ****ing ****.

Well, fine. If thatís the way it has to be, then so be it. Iíll root for you in a Vikings uniform, Favre. But just know that I will hate every goddamn minute of it. Just know that never has loving a sports team been more exposed as a thoughtless, irrational, singularly idiotic pursuit than in this coming instance. Just know that I will ****ing hunt you down with a goddamn bow when you end up ****ing us in the end. And you will **** us. Just know Iím far more excited by the thought of you getting booed at Lambeau than the thought of you being cheered at the Metrodome.

Just know that your new head coach is an incompetent, arrogant ****wit who couldnít place an order at a Sonic drive thru without ****ing it up and triggering some sort of biochemical attack.

Just know all that before you sit down for your little powwow with Brad Childress, Farvaro. You ****ing ****. Oh, Iíll cheer you on, you ****ing Hollywood redneck cockpuller. Iíll pull for you every step of the way, you miserable **** volcano. Iíll cherish your token three good games during the season that make Collinsworth flood his pants, you blood-soaked pantyliner.

Iíll do all that that.

But Iíll never stop hating you.

**** you. Die.

TheReverend
08-31-2009, 09:24 AM
http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/1766/tigerg.gif

Popcorn Sutton
08-31-2009, 09:25 AM
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

s0phr0syne
08-31-2009, 09:27 AM
Rev, I've got to give you props for having a limitless supply of occasion appropriate gifs.


But, WTF? This rant sounds like something he's going to go around copy/pasting at every NFL-team message board...

Of course by replying, I've bumped it up on the front page. I encourage you not to follow in the footsteps of my error.

61Vikefan
08-31-2009, 10:06 AM
Rev, I've got to give you props for having a limitless supply of occasion appropriate gifs.


But, WTF? This rant sounds like something he's going to go around copy/pasting at every NFL-team message board...

Of course by replying, I've bumped it up on the front page. I encourage you not to follow in the footsteps of my error.

I originally posted it on SusyKolber's page. I've updated it but I wrote it.

Brett Favre is my QB, life is good NOT.

TheReverend
08-31-2009, 10:14 AM
I originally posted it on SusyKolber's page. I've updated it but I wrote it.

Brett Favre is my QB, life is good NOT.

You think Bronco fans are going to empathize with you? We got our own nightmare of a QB stable to be concerned with, at the moment, thank you very much.

Popcorn Sutton
08-31-2009, 10:17 AM
I originally posted it on SusyKolber's page. I've updated it but I wrote it.

Brett Favre is my QB, life is good NOT.


Did ya happen to notice this is a Broncos message board?

61Vikefan
08-31-2009, 10:31 AM
Did ya happen to notice this is a Broncos message board?

Yeah, I've been a member here longer than you have Jr.

randomtask
08-31-2009, 10:39 AM
_

broncocalijohn
08-31-2009, 11:21 AM
Did ya happen to notice this is a Broncos message board?

Then he should know (since 61Viks has been here longer than you) that most here dont like Favre either. 61Viks has it worse but just think of his dainted legacy in GB now that he went to the darkside. For some, it would be like us getting Rivers to play in Denver. Personally, I would take it in a heart beat.

SoDak Bronco
08-31-2009, 11:40 AM
This would be like Elway going to play for the Raiders at the tail end of his career...I just puked in my mouth..wow