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Atlas
06-19-2009, 12:14 AM
1) John Madden, Former Coach/Player/Announcer

“Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field. They’re bigger than everybody else, and that’s what makes them the biggest guys on the field.”



2) Luke Salisbury, Writer

“Watching football is like watching pornography. There’s plenty of action, and I can’t take my eyes off it, but when it’s over, I wonder why the hell I spent an afternoon doing it.”



3) George Rogers, RB, New Orleans Saints

“I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first”



4) Merle Kessler, Writer

“Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers.”



5) Jerry Rice, WR, San Fransisco 49ers

“I feel like I’m the best, but you’re not going to get me to say that.”



6) Dave Barry, Humor Columnist

“Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.”



7) Bo Jackson, RB, Oalkand Raiders

“If my mother put on a helmet and shoulder pads and a uniform that wasn’t the same as the one I was wearing, I’d run over her if she was in my way. And I love my mother.”



8) William “The Fridge" Perry, DL, Chicago Bears:

“I’ve been big ever since I was little.”



9) Terry Bradshaw, QB, Pittsburgh Steelers

“I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid.”



10) Paul Tagliabue, Former NFL Commissioner

“I’m a firm believer that all sports will eventually be global. Someday, we may have a quarterback from China named Yao Fling.”

Atlas
06-19-2009, 12:18 AM
More sports quotes......

I could have been a Rhodes Scholar, except for my grades.
-- Duffy Daugherty


On this team, we are all united in a common goal: to keep my job.
-- Lou Holtz


If hockey fights were fake, you would see me in more of them.
-- Rod Gilbert


The only way to stop Jim Brown was to give him a movie contract.
-- Spider Lockhart


Always remember Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David.
-- Shug Jordan


You can observe a lot just by watching.
-- Yogi Berra


They say a tie is like kissing your sister. I guess that is better than kissing your brother.
-- Lou Holtz


We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. I just can't figure out where else to play!
-- Pat Williams


I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
-- Source Unknown


The sun doesn't shine on the same dog's butt every day but we sure didn't expect a total eclipse.
-- Steve Sloan


I'd run over my mother to win the Super Bowl.
-- Russ Grimm

Atlas
06-19-2009, 12:21 AM
and some more... these guys are brilliant.

1. “Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter. I’m amphibious.” – Charles Shackleford

2. “Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win.” – Doug Collins

3. “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father” –Greg Norman

4. “Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen.” –Jerry Coleman

5. “The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle.” –Bob Varsha

6. “You can sum up this sport [boxing] in two words: ‘You never know.’” -Lou Duva

7. “When you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout and you’re getting your ass hammered by guys—there’s no better feeling than to have that done.” -Matt Stairs

8. “The NFL, like life, is full of idiots.” –Randy Cross

8. “He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.” –Lou Deva… again.

10. “You don’t like to see hookers going down on players like that.” –Murry Mexted

11. “I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.” –Tug Mcgraw

12. “Baseball is 90% mental. The other half is physical.” –Yogi Berra

13. “We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.” –Jason Kidd

14. “He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.” –Torrin Polk

15. Reporter: “Did you visit the Parthenon while in Greece?”
Shaquille O’Neill: “I can’t really remember the names of all the clubs we went to.”

Tombstone RJ
06-19-2009, 10:16 AM
Good stuff, thanks Atlas!

Beantown Bronco
06-19-2009, 10:33 AM
10. “You don’t like to see hookers going down on players like that.” –Murry Mexted


I can't even figure out what the possible context would be for this one.

Rohirrim
06-19-2009, 10:55 AM
Hilarious!

BABronco
06-19-2009, 04:30 PM
I can't even figure out what the possible context would be for this one.

rugby? one of the positions is a hooker

Los Broncos
06-19-2009, 05:39 PM
Funny stuff man.

loborugger
06-19-2009, 08:26 PM
I'd run over my mother to win the Super Bowl.
-- Russ Grimm

Wasnt someone's response to this something like, "Ya, I would run over Russ's mother, too."

maher_tyler
06-19-2009, 08:58 PM
2. “Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win.” – Doug Collins


Hilarious!

OABB
06-19-2009, 09:23 PM
"To tell the truth, I think this is a year too late, nothing against (Jim) Bates, but Slowik is the right fit for this defense."

-Champ Bailey

Atlas
06-19-2009, 10:57 PM
7. “When you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout and you’re getting your ass hammered by guys—there’s no better feeling than to have that done.” -Matt Stairs

Hilarious!

PaintballCLE
06-20-2009, 12:52 AM
16. "I don't know, man," he said. "I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian." -- Mike Tyson

17. 'I take my hand off to him" -- Mike Tyson

18. "That referees decision was ludacrisp" -- Mike Tyson

MechanicalBull
06-20-2009, 04:43 AM
Wasnt someone's response to this something like, "Ya, I would run over Russ's mother, too."

Matt Millen said it. "I'd run over Russ Grimm's mother to win the Super Bowl, too."

Meck77
06-20-2009, 07:50 AM
Shanahan: “We Will Not Miss the Playoffs” August 2008

Tombstone RJ
06-20-2009, 08:41 AM
Shanahan: “We Will Not Miss the Playoffs” August 2008

Famous Last Words...