Any Czars out there listening?

[Bob]

I know I am merely a serf, from a fly-over state no less, but despite my caste -- may I (with great deference and humility) propose a few new Czar positions to those with new found authority:

1. The Veggie-Burger Czar – he/she can beat the hell out of the plastic, creepy-looking plastic King usurper, and make him a slave too – first step: get him to take bailout money by threatening him with no access to loans if EVER needed from Big Bro -- then rape the clown into submission – no, not that kind of “submission.” (The Internet Czar would be displeased with you for thinking of such things.) The Veggie Czar wants submission of the autonomy required of capitalist vehicles to make products people want. It’s a great shift in jobs and cash, all with plausible deniability! After the clown, and Jack take the bait is easy to dictate the use of anything perceived as “bad for the serfs” – after all they just don’t know saturated fat and red meat is bad for them – not to mention what devastation flatuating cows can cause! Besides, they will be using our generous universal healthcare and better listen. Proposed Veggie-Burger Czar mission statement: “Eat veggies, you fat, selfish, animal murdering holocaust deniers.” Well, at least it’s a start, you might want something stronger.
2. The free speech Czar: he/she can abolish all hurtful, bigoted speech, and remove words that mean anything. Webster, was a traitor – too many words, for the average guy to learn. Less choice = freedom. This is about being “free” from our own individual, self-interested, disturbing, destructive thoughts, and notions and abolish unsavory political discourse! There is some Paris blogger guy, that might suite this position well. First order of business: shut-up all Savage-types. 2nd order: burn Constitution, for our freedom’s sake.
3. The Recycle Czar: (do we have this already?) Will simply act with assumed authority to tax the hell out of landfills, and non-earth first violators so the masses will see, to be obedient and buy more mercury-filled bulbs. Maybe the Czar can enact, enlist, or decree 150,000 green, shovel-ready jobs by employing members of ACORN, who can seek out and report violators (or create Mickey Mouse violators if needed) to ensure that capitalist, piggish industry can never produce our self out. If you let me, maybe you will let me (just for sport) beat the crap out of some WWII vet who over-waters his lawn.

Just some ideas … sorry if they are not bold enough.

[BroncsRule]

..If you let me, maybe you will let me (just for sport) beat the crap out of some WWII vet who over-waters his lawn..

My money's on the WWII vet.

[Bob]

My money's on the WWII vet.

Yup, tough old guys -- wish we made them that way still...I like to think we would not have many of the problems we do, if they were still our backbone.

[sisterhellfyre]

I2. The free speech Czar: he/she can abolish all hurtful, bigoted speech, and remove words that mean anything. Webster, was a traitor – too many words, for the average guy to learn. Less choice = freedom. This is about being “free” from our own individual, self-interested, disturbing, destructive thoughts, and notions and abolish unsavory political discourse! There is some Paris blogger guy, that might suite this position well. First order of business: shut-up all Savage-types. 2nd order: burn Constitution, for our freedom’s sake.

Doubleplusgood. :-)

[sisterhellfyre]

3. The Recycle Czar: (do we have this already?) Will simply act with assumed authority to tax the hell out of landfills, and non-earth first violators so the masses will see, to be obedient and buy more mercury-filled bulbs.

On a side note... recycling is not required here in Portland, but the local government has made recycling really easy by providing plastic bins for recyclables. (Heck if I can remember which local government at the moment, cuz we have at least three.) I keep one bin in my kitchen to collect cans, glass, cardboard and plastic. Once a week or so, with my regular trash service, we put the recyclable materials on the curb too. Local trash haulers (sorry, materials disposal specialists) are required by the terms of their contract with the local government to pick those materials up, too. At my best guess, at least 40% of my "trash" never gets to the landfill.

I can't help but think that's not a bad thing, but I've heard from friends that it feels darned weird to travel to other states where recycling efforts aren't as organized.

[watermock]

Czar wants submission of the autonomy required of capitalist vehicles to make products people want.

But Wagoneer said we wanted SUV's despite the price of gas....

[alkemical]

I wonder when we get our rations.

[loborugger]

I wonder when we get our rations.

The chocolate ration has been upped this week to .2 ounces per person.

[gyldenlove]

We absolutely need newspeak, words mean choice and choice means thought. The modern American can clearly not be trusted to think for themselves.

There is only one way out of a financial disaster, increased spending, what we need is a child czar, we need more children, since more children means more teenager and teenagers spend more per capita than other people. We need to implement child quotas, I figure that every woman in the fertile age group will be required to have sex with at least 3 suitable males per day, PhDs, athletes, MScs and MDs will be given first choice of women.

[Smiling Assassin27]

the institution of the Czar ended with a gunshot in a nondescript basement and an undignified burial in an unmarked grave. a very strange but apropos imagery for our Czar-obsessed President and his pseudo-apostolic administration.

At any rate, I vote for the creation of a Joke Czar.

[alkemical]

We absolutely need newspeak, words mean choice and choice means thought. The modern American can clearly not be trusted to think for themselves.

There is only one way out of a financial disaster, increased spending, what we need is a child czar, we need more children, since more children means more teenager and teenagers spend more per capita than other people. We need to implement child quotas, I figure that every woman in the fertile age group will be required to have sex with at least 3 suitable males per day, PhDs, athletes, MScs and MDs will be given first choice of women.


No, 50 million people just need to die.

[sisterhellfyre]

the institution of the Czar ended with a gunshot in a nondescript basement and an undignified burial in an unmarked grave. a very strange but apropos imagery for our Czar-obsessed President and his pseudo-apostolic administration.

Yay, the era of the Czar is... over...

But wasn't it Reagan that created the office later called the "Drug Czar," back in 1982?

And on May 14th of this year, Obama's new "Drug Czar" called for an end to the "War on Drugs." Said it was, quote, ""Regardless of how you try to explain to people it's a 'war on drugs' or a 'war on a product,' people see a war as a war on them," he said. "We're not at war with people in this country."

Now, quick, what is his name?

(Yah, I know, those darned facts. It's so unfair to bring them into the WaRP forum.)

[alkemical]

lol -

http://www.maybelogic.com/gunsanddopeparty/

http://www.maybelogic.com/gunsanddopeparty/Freetopia.jpg

[gyldenlove]

No, 50 million people just need to die.

I know, but people usually don't go for my crazy genocide scheems, figured it would be easier to get a smart-people-should-have-lots-of-sex scheme through.

[gyldenlove]

lol -

http://www.maybelogic.com/gunsanddopeparty/

http://www.maybelogic.com/gunsanddopeparty/Freetopia.jpg

I have always wanted to be a despot.

[alkemical]

I know, but people usually don't go for my crazy genocide scheems, figured it would be easier to get a smart-people-should-have-lots-of-sex scheme through.

scientifically, its' the dumb that breed more often. ;)

[Bob]

We absolutely need newspeak, words mean choice and choice means thought. The modern American can clearly not be trusted to think for themselves.

There is only one way out of a financial disaster, increased spending, what we need is a child czar, we need more children, since more children means more teenager and teenagers spend more per capita than other people. We need to implement child quotas, I figure that every woman in the fertile age group will be required to have sex with at least 3 suitable males per day, PhDs, athletes, MScs and MDs will be given first choice of women.

So a sex Czar? Although different from the Chinese, it a good idea to increase the tax base...

[Bob]

No, 50 million people just need to die.

Well, the Eugenics program of the early 20th century, could be cranked back into gear ...

[Bob]

Yay, the era of the Czar is... over...

But wasn't it Reagan that created the office later called the "Drug Czar," back in 1982?

And on May 14th of this year, Obama's new "Drug Czar" called for an end to the "War on Drugs." Said it was, quote, ""Regardless of how you try to explain to people it's a 'war on drugs' or a 'war on a product,' people see a war as a war on them," he said. "We're not at war with people in this country."

Now, quick, what is his name?

(Yah, I know, those darned facts. It's so unfair to bring them into the WaRP forum.)

Yup, your right...I think it was Reagan, I just wonder now if the Executive branch wants to get around Congress, which means getting around the voting public.