View Full Version : Who Is Jack Schitt

05-08-2009, 03:04 PM

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack
Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in
an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the
fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N.
Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull
Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt,

A high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and

Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and

because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her

previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a

son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two

of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were

inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the

Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement

in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The

Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently
returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct

Crock O. Schitt

Jerry Curl
05-08-2009, 03:30 PM
This is really really old. I bought a shirt like 10 years ago with this on it, good stuff.

05-08-2009, 07:37 PM
Actually, according to Ancestry.com, the earliest Schitt immigrants came to the United States from Hamburg, Germany in 1877.

I'd get their first names, but I don't want to pay for service...