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View Full Version : Interesting Rant: "F@*K You, Brett Favre"


telluride
05-06-2009, 02:18 PM
This is an enjoyably epic rant (http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2009/05/f-k-you-brett-favre.html#more-14467) from KSK's Big Daddy Drew. (BONUS: It contains a piece of Bronco-related wisdom embedded within. Can you spot it?)

My favorite team is going to sign Brett Favre in the coming days, or weeks, or months, or however long it takes that ****ing a-hole to milk the publicity machine to his satisfaction. Itís going to happen. Debating whether or not it will is a complete waste of ****ing time. When it comes to the Land Baron, speculation always becomes reality.

Itís fitting that it would come this. For years and years, I have ****ing loathed Brett Favre with every fiber of my being. He is the single most self-aggrandizing piece of **** who ever walked the Earth, the most blatantly phony human being in America this side of Bobby Bowden. Say what you will of openly douchebaggy people like Matt Leinart or Spencer Pratt. At least there are no illusions when it comes to those gentsí intentions. Everything about Favre Ė from his style of play to his carefully cultivated everyman image - is complete bull****, and everything about the man is tiresome, to the point where b****ing about him being tiresome has become an even more tiresome enterprise than whatever it is that makes him tiresome to begin with. Not only am I sick of this dip****, but Iím sick of being sick of him. And I resent that everyone is so tired of hating him, that Iím beating a dead horse by still hating him.

I have always argued that pro athletes should play their respective sports as long as they damn well please, because itís still a kickass job even if you arenít all that good at it anymore. So I donít begrudge Favre his right to play football, even if itís for the Vikings. What I do begrudge is the fact that this a-hole NEVER WANTED TO ****ING STOP PLAYING TO BEGIN WITH. He knew the second he rererereretired earlier this year that heíd try and get his release so he could play in Minnesota. This whole myth perpetrated by Peter King that, ďI donít think even Brett Favre knows what Brett Favre is going to doĒ is the most insulting pile of **** Iíve ever heard. That **** knows exactly what the **** heís doing, and anyone who says otherwise probably spends all day licking radiators.

Make no mistake, when the Vikings end up signing Favre, it wonít be the final piece in some kind of championship puzzle. Itíll be the nothing more than the final nail in the coffin for Brad Childress. Itíll be the last act of a desperate coach who has spent the past three years wasting an otherwise talented roster on unimaginative schemes and an abject failure to produce anything of note at the quarterback position. This a-hole had three ****ing years to cultivate a decent QB for this team. Three. A ****ing lifetime in NFL years.

Instead, he insisted he could develop Tarvaris Jackson, who can play the position somewhat decently only when there is nothing important to play for. Jackson was drafted by Fran Foley, the onetime Vikings personnel director who was immediately fired after the Jackson draft, for warning his secretary there would be a coming ďbloodbathĒ (his word): a mass firing of scouts and team administrators. Foley traded two third-round picks to select Jackson, whose predraft grades (most pegged him as a late round pick to rookie free agent) immediately made his selection the equivalent of the Raidersí Michael Mitchell pick two weeks ago.

The Vikings could have made any number of moves in recent years to give Jackson competition, or to outright replace him. They had a chance to trade for Matt Schaub. They had a chance to draft any number of other QBís. They could have traded for Jay Cutler, regardless of whether or not you found his price too exorbitant. Instead, they did virtually nothing until trading for Sage Rosenfels earlier this year. Itís an indictment of just how poorly prepared Jackson is that Rosenfels, who averages one interception for every 20 ****ing pass attempts, represents a colossal upgrade at the position.

And now, only now, after time and again ****ing up the QB situation, does Childress feel urgently compelled to seriously upgrade the position. And how is he going about it? By making late overtures to an erratic 39-year-old journeyman with half a bicep. Hey ****box, you already have an erratic journeyman on the roster. Do we really need ****ing multiples of them?

Iíve heard arguments in the Minnesota media that, while Favre almost certainly offers no January promise for the Vikings, that his presence will at least make the coming season more interesting. Well, you know what? I donít want my team to be ****ing interesting. I want my team to ****ing WIN. Iíve seen this team do the interesting thing before, with Denny Green and Randy Moss and all that ****. It was fun. But ultimately, it ended up going to ****.

Interesting teams donít win it all in the NFL anymore. If you want to win a Super Bowl, youíre better off being the most boring ****ing team alive. Look at the Steelers. They change coaches once every two decades. They never sign big name free agents, particularly those ďheís the final piece!Ē type free agents. They donít do any of that ****. They keep things running smoothly, and then they go win titles. And they donít sign players I ****ing despise.

Thatís the biggest dagger of all in this whole ****show. That seething hatred I have of Brett Favre is part of who I am. Itís ingrained in my very being. When I die, my body will turn into nothing but solid black ash. I wonít go to Heaven. I wonít go to Hell. Iíll simply stop existing. Not a trace of me will be left, on this plane or any other. But, even then, I assure you Iíll still find a way to ****ing hate Brett Favre.

And now, as a final, personal **** YOU to every Viking fan like me who ever wished him dead, that ****face is now going to make it so I have to root for him. I actually have to cheer when he goes and does something good. And that makes me hate his ****ing guts all the more. Because now Iím supposed to buy into all his bull****.

That ****ing ****.

Well, fine. If thatís the way it has to be, then so be it. Iíll root for you in a Vikings uniform, Favre. But just know that I will hate every goddamn minute of it. Just know that never has loving a sports team been more exposed as a thoughtless, irrational, singularly idiotic pursuit than in this coming instance. Just know that I will ****ing hunt you down with a goddamn bow when you end up ****ing us in the end. And you will **** us. Just know Iím far more excited by the thought of you getting booed at Lambeau than the thought of you being cheered at the Metrodome.

Just know that your new head coach is an incompetent, arrogant ****wit who couldnít place an order at a Sonic drive thru without ****ing it up and triggering some sort of biochemical attack.

Just know all that before you sit down for your little powwow with Brad Childress, Farvaro. You ****ing p***Yflap. Oh, Iíll cheer you on, you ****ing Hollywood redneck cockpuller. Iíll pull for you every step of the way, you miserable **** volcano. Iíll cherish your token three good games during the season that make Collinsworth flood his pants, you blood-soaked pantyliner.

Iíll do all that that.

But Iíll never stop hating you.

**** you. Die.

Now, about that wisdom. Figure it out? Here you go:

Interesting teams donít win it all in the NFL anymore. If you want to win a Super Bowl, youíre better off being the most boring ****ing team alive. Look at the Steelers. They change coaches once every two decades. They never sign big name free agents, particularly those ďheís the final piece!Ē type free agents. They donít do any of that ****. They keep things running smoothly, and then they go win titles. And they donít sign players I ****ing despise.

I kinda think McDaniels and Bowlen are aiming for exactly that approach....

Man-Goblin
05-06-2009, 02:21 PM
http://www.filmdope.com/Gallery/ActorsD/4667-24020.gif

What the hell is Brett Favre doing here?

OBF1
05-06-2009, 02:25 PM
Why all the hate dude???

SportinOne
05-06-2009, 03:11 PM
What an idiot. Impressively long, boringly unintelligent. There is a difference between insight and commentary. This is nothing more than recycled blind opinion. Has he met the guy? Has ANYONE here met the guy? He could very well be right, but he's swinging blindfolded.

Anyway, it seems really funny to me that he thinks every NFL team can find a quarterback in 3 years. First of all, before Childress, the last good qb they had was Culpepper and Randy Moss made him what he was.

Raiders, Chiefs, Dolphins, Bills, Ravens, Browns, Texans, Titans, Redskins, Bears, Lions, Buccaneers, Cardinals, Niners. All teams that have or will now (counting 09) have gone 3 or more years without a legitimate QB in recent years (let's say going just 7 years back).

If you count the Vikings in there that is 15 teams! It's NOT easy to find a solid quarterback, thus the hatred for McDaniels in trading away Cutler...

HILife
05-06-2009, 03:15 PM
Just know that your new head coach is an incompetent, arrogant ****wit who couldnít place an order at a Sonic drive thru without ****ing it up and triggering some sort of biochemical attack.

Wish we had a Sonic near my place. I've only eatten there once.

HILife
05-06-2009, 03:17 PM
http://blogs.citypages.com/sports/Favre%20Crying.jpg

Popps
05-06-2009, 04:04 PM
The Vikings need to get on the horn.



:)

C130Herkload
05-06-2009, 04:54 PM
Its definitely time to take Old Yeller to the woods.

boltaneer
05-06-2009, 04:59 PM
I never understood all the Favre hate.

The media and the fans are the ones who are making a big deal out of everything he does.

gunns
05-06-2009, 05:04 PM
It’s fitting that it would come this. For years and years, I have ****ing loathed Brett Favre with every fiber of my being. He is the single most self-aggrandizing piece of **** who ever walked the Earth, the most blatantly phony human being in America this side of Bobby Bowden. Say what you will of openly douchebaggy people like Matt Leinart or Spencer Pratt. At least there are no illusions when it comes to those gents’ intentions. Everything about Favre – from his style of play to his carefully cultivated everyman image - is complete bull****, and everything about the man is tiresome, to the point where b****ing about him being tiresome has become an even more tiresome enterprise than whatever it is that makes him tiresome to begin with. Not only am I sick of this dip****, but I’m sick of being sick of him. And I resent that everyone is so tired of hating him, that I’m beating a dead horse by still hating him.

I have always argued that pro athletes should play their respective sports as long as they damn well please, because it’s still a kickass job even if you aren’t all that good at it anymore. So I don’t begrudge Favre his right to play football, even if it’s for the Vikings. What I do begrudge is the fact that this a-hole NEVER WANTED TO ****ING STOP PLAYING TO BEGIN WITH. He knew the second he rererereretired earlier this year that he’d try and get his release so he could play in Minnesota. This whole myth perpetrated by Peter King that, “I don’t think even Brett Favre knows what Brett Favre is going to do” is the most insulting pile of **** I’ve ever heard. That **** knows exactly what the **** he’s doing, and anyone who says otherwise probably spends all day licking radiators.


:thumbsup: Couldn't have said it better myself.

gunns
05-06-2009, 05:06 PM
I never understood all the Favre hate.

The media and the fans are the ones who are making a big deal out of everything he does.

That's because you believe what you see.

Traveler
05-06-2009, 05:52 PM
Guess if Favre does comeback, Madden won't be too far behind.

Sodak
05-06-2009, 05:56 PM
I wonder why this guy is so angry? You'd think Favre **** in his oatmeal, or ****ed his girlfriend...

Taco John
05-06-2009, 05:57 PM
This guy has nothing on our very own SoCal.

Rabb
05-06-2009, 06:41 PM
the people that should be pissed are any quarterbacks that thought they had a good thing until captain wonderful decides to bounce again to their team

honestly the way the Jets did Pennington made me root for him last year

Mile High Mojoe
05-06-2009, 06:49 PM
I completely understand this guys anger. If Elway would've pulled a stunt like this and come out retirement and signed with the Raiders I bet without excpection everyone on this board would have had a meltdown of biblical porportions. He's a traitor and an egomaniac who doesn't know the meaning of class or humility. I hope he gets completely destroyed if he comes back.

Dr. Broncenstein
05-06-2009, 08:25 PM
http://blogs.bet.com/news/playahater/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/brett-favre.jpg

The NFL is better with Bret Favre... even the broken down rusty version. If you don't like it, eat a bowl of dicks.

bronco610
05-06-2009, 08:29 PM
I actually would like to see him in Minn. just for the entertainment value of this comming season.

Man-Goblin
05-06-2009, 08:33 PM
In all seriousness, I'd love for him to come back and beat the Bears twice.

Dr. Broncenstein
05-06-2009, 08:34 PM
In all seriousness, I'd love for him to come back and beat the Bears twice.

This.

maher_tyler
05-06-2009, 08:47 PM
Thatís the biggest dagger of all in this whole ****show. That seething hatred I have of Brett Favre is part of who I am. Itís ingrained in my very being. When I die, my body will turn into nothing but solid black ash. I wonít go to Heaven. I wonít go to Hell. Iíll simply stop existing. Not a trace of me will be left, on this plane or any other. But, even then, I assure you Iíll still find a way to ****ing hate Brett Favre.


Hilarious! Hilarious! Hilarious!

FADERPROOF
05-06-2009, 09:07 PM
that just brightened my day.

Bronx33
05-06-2009, 09:13 PM
I used to be a big farve fan but iam just tired of this farve soap opera anymore and it got old along time ago ( just go away brett just go away)

boltaneer
05-06-2009, 09:18 PM
That's because you believe what you see.

And what is it that I'm seeing?

I don't really care for Favre either way. Not really a fan or a hater.

And I almost never have any interest to watch Vikings-Packers games but if he became a Viking this year, I would definitely watch it this season.

watermock
05-06-2009, 10:06 PM
Star Tribune: Favre open to quick deal and surgery
Buzz up!Like this story? Share it with Yahoo! Buzz
The Minneapolis Star Tribune, which has already placed Minnesota Vikings coach Brad Childress in Brett Favre's Mississippi home tonight to discuss a possible union with the quarterback for the 2009 season, is now reporting that Favre is open to a quick deal and would be amenable to a surgical procedure to correct the partially torn biceps tendon in his throwing arm that plagued him in the second half of the 2008 season when Favre was quarterbacking the New York Jets.

This from the Tribune:

Favre, according to NFL sources, is agreeable to undergoing a minor procedure in which surgeons complete the cutting of the tendon. The recovery period would be quick, and Favre would be ready to go long before training camp.
Indications are Favre is as anxious to join the Vikings as Childress is to have him running an offense that includes Pro Bowl running back Adrian Peterson and wide receivers Bernard Berrian and Percy Harvin.

It also appears Vikings players are now getting amped, judging from what Berrian told the paper:

“I try not to get too caught up in it because I don’t want to get too overexcited, thinking that he’s coming and then all of a sudden he doesn’t,” Berrian said. “He would be a great addition to the team. He’s a great player. He’s done so much for the NFL by himself. He definitely would bring leadership to the team.

“He’s been in the league for 17, 18 years and to have a player of his caliber come in, it speaks volumes for what he can do for this team.”

Even Minnesota's governor was getting swept up in the Favre fervor. Gov. Tim Pawlenty told the Associated Press that signing Favre would be “a wonderful little salt to rub in the eyes of some of our Green Bay Packer friends. Can you imagine Brett Favre going into Lambeau Field in Viking purple and maybe even wearing No. 4?”

Stay tuned. It seems like an increasingly likely scenario
........................

And the saga contiues...

SouthStndJunkie
05-06-2009, 10:14 PM
I hope it happens....if nothing else it is an interesting drama.

As the Brett Turns....

maher_tyler
05-06-2009, 10:30 PM
Star Tribune: Favre open to quick deal and surgery
Buzz up!Like this story? Share it with Yahoo! Buzz
The Minneapolis Star Tribune, which has already placed Minnesota Vikings coach Brad Childress in Brett Favre's Mississippi home tonight to discuss a possible union with the quarterback for the 2009 season, is now reporting that Favre is open to a quick deal and would be amenable to a surgical procedure to correct the partially torn biceps tendon in his throwing arm that plagued him in the second half of the 2008 season when Favre was quarterbacking the New York Jets.

This from the Tribune:

Favre, according to NFL sources, is agreeable to undergoing a minor procedure in which surgeons complete the cutting of the tendon. The recovery period would be quick, and Favre would be ready to go long before training camp.
Indications are Favre is as anxious to join the Vikings as Childress is to have him running an offense that includes Pro Bowl running back Adrian Peterson and wide receivers Bernard Berrian and Percy Harvin.

It also appears Vikings players are now getting amped, judging from what Berrian told the paper:

ďI try not to get too caught up in it because I donít want to get too overexcited, thinking that heís coming and then all of a sudden he doesnít,Ē Berrian said. ďHe would be a great addition to the team. Heís a great player. Heís done so much for the NFL by himself. He definitely would bring leadership to the team.

ďHeís been in the league for 17, 18 years and to have a player of his caliber come in, it speaks volumes for what he can do for this team.Ē

Even Minnesota's governor was getting swept up in the Favre fervor. Gov. Tim Pawlenty told the Associated Press that signing Favre would be ďa wonderful little salt to rub in the eyes of some of our Green Bay Packer friends. Can you imagine Brett Favre going into Lambeau Field in Viking purple and maybe even wearing No. 4?Ē

Stay tuned. It seems like an increasingly likely scenario
........................

And the saga contiues...


the games when they played GB would be a must watch...especially the one in GB!!

Mile High Mojoe
05-06-2009, 11:43 PM
http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h318/gomilehigh/favre-585x397.gif

gunns
05-07-2009, 06:47 PM
And what is it that I'm seeing?

I don't really care for Favre either way. Not really a fan or a hater.

And I almost never have any interest to watch Vikings-Packers games but if he became a Viking this year, I would definitely watch it this season.

Probably should have said what you hear also. The fact that the media and fans make the big deal out of it....that's only after Favre has drug it out in front of them. I remember his thumb, OMG, you'd have thought he had a heart transplant, showing his xrays, having pics taken of his thumb. Yeah he really resisted all of that didn't he.

Hulamau
05-08-2009, 01:36 AM
I never understood all the Favre hate.

The media and the fans are the ones who are making a big deal out of everything he does.

Who else is there? :strong:

Circle Orange
05-10-2009, 10:07 AM
What pinhead thinks you can count on a 40 year old qb? Especially one with all that mileage? Childress must have cracked his dome in sleep.

I like how the media claims the NFL 'needs Favre' as if it collapsed when he left. The only people who need him are the people who talk about him constantly and wring out non-stories about nothing. It's already widespread that fans overall could care less outside of green bay and minnesota.

Personally, I want to see him trip over his feet, fumble and throw interceptions, then get caught from behind by slow tackles. Then we can finally put an end to the nonsense.

Earth to ESPN and the like...fans don't care.

Don Flamenco
05-10-2009, 04:23 PM
Guess if Favre does comeback, Madden won't be too far behind.

haha