PDA

View Full Version : Which physical defect is more preferable in a starting QB?


DomCasual
03-17-2009, 10:38 AM
As it stands right now, we're looking at starting 2009 with a quarterback that's either missing a spleen, or one that has Type 1 Diabetes (not sure if you guys knew Cutler had been diagnosed).

So, my question is this. Which one is more preferable?

See, Cutler did okay with the diabetes thing last year. But it's pretty hard to judge how he'll hold up over time - it would seem to be a bit unprecedented.

As for the spleen - I can honestly say I go weeks without even thinking about my spleen. I'm no doctor, but I do think the spleen doesn't get the pub as, say, the liver - or even the kidneys. Do you even need a spleen, or is it like an appendix - just a piece of worthless meat, in other words?

It would be cool if we could get someone on the practice squad with another deformity. Are there any amputees coming up through the college ranks?

I'm just thinking out loud here.

theAPAOps5
03-17-2009, 10:38 AM
Birthmark on their face ala Drew Brees.

DomCasual
03-17-2009, 10:40 AM
Birthmark on their face ala Drew Brees.

That hardly counts - other than with the ladies.

It would be awesome to have a QB with a hook on his non-throwing arm. Joe Ellis could build a whole marketing campaign around something like that.

I wonder if a guy like Hackney would be willing to take one for the team, in the name of higher merchandise sales.

ColoradoDarin
03-17-2009, 10:41 AM
one without a hand - like that MLB pitcher a few years back :)

Mogulseeker
03-17-2009, 10:41 AM
I said

"I would prefer we find a QB with some other physical deformity (explain). "

Some kind of deformity that gives him superhuman strength, speed, and vision.

Archer81
03-17-2009, 10:42 AM
Birthmark on their face ala Drew Brees.



Which apparently turns into leadership and maturity...


:Broncos:

theAPAOps5
03-17-2009, 10:43 AM
You know Urlacher has an extra muscle in his calves. Not a rumor either they called him the mutant at New Mexico. It made him run faster. I would want a QB with an extra muscle in their throwing arm. I want someone to intercept a ball and die.

Beantown Bronco
03-17-2009, 10:44 AM
People have been way too calm today. How about this:

Some would say "black skin".

theAPAOps5
03-17-2009, 10:44 AM
Which apparently turns into leadership and maturity...


:Broncos:

You got my point!

Pontius Pirate
03-17-2009, 10:45 AM
Worst thread ever.

Archer81
03-17-2009, 10:46 AM
You got my point!


Yup. If Jay had 10% of Drew's maturity this wouldnt have been a problem at all.

:Broncos:

TailgateNut
03-17-2009, 10:46 AM
Worst thread ever.


Agree! But I surely would not want one with a ****, as in Rivers!:~ohyah!:

DomCasual
03-17-2009, 10:46 AM
Worst thread ever.

Dude, come on. Have you SEEN some of the threads around here lately?

You're just pissy because you don't have any cool birth defects to throw on the table.

Cmac821
03-17-2009, 10:47 AM
I like number 6

Archer81
03-17-2009, 10:48 AM
I like number 6



I like 7 better.


:Broncos:

skpac1001
03-17-2009, 10:49 AM
An extra finger, like the six fingered man. If it didn't have to be physical I would say Tourettes.

Beantown Bronco
03-17-2009, 10:50 AM
In honor of St. Patty's day:

Matt Ryan's Irish Curse

DomCasual
03-17-2009, 10:51 AM
An extra finger, like the six fingered man. If it didn't have to be physical I would say Tourettes.

Throwing hand, or non-throwing hand?

Non-throwing hand, and he probably doesn't fumble nearly as much as a five-fingered QB. Throwing hand, and I bet he could put some wicked spin on the ball. Do you want to tell me he couldn't put the ball right where only his guy could catch it?

Forget about it.

Archer81
03-17-2009, 10:51 AM
Third testicle. Not sure why...but it has moxie.


:Broncos:

atomicbloke
03-17-2009, 10:52 AM
How about a QB with a mental deformity....

you know which makes them overreact to situations that didn't happen..... and makes them cry to the media due to perceived insecurity from a non-issue.....

theAPAOps5
03-17-2009, 10:52 AM
What about a 15" dick dripping with AIDS, just try to trade him.

Rohirrim
03-17-2009, 10:53 AM
Forsberg did fine without a spleen. There's a DE from Utah name Kruger (Freddie?) who's coming in with no spleen and one kidney. I've seen a few QBs that I though might have loss of vision. I wondered that about Cutler a few times last season. He seems to prefer double coverage over the open man. ;D

Archer81
03-17-2009, 10:54 AM
What about a 15" dick dripping with AIDS, just try to trade him.



Thats gross. Does it have to be dripping?


:Broncos:

DomCasual
03-17-2009, 10:54 AM
Third testicle. Not sure why...but it has moxie.


:Broncos:

A Triclops!

Way to think outside the box, man!

theAPAOps5
03-17-2009, 10:54 AM
The Saints had a DL player with no legs.

OABB
03-17-2009, 10:55 AM
no acl....

TailgateNut
03-17-2009, 10:55 AM
How about a QB with a mental deformity....

you know which makes them overreact to situations that didn't happen..... and makes them cry to the media due to perceived insecurity from a non-issue.....


LOL

Hotrod
03-17-2009, 10:55 AM
I'd like one with severe liver damage. Sure he would suck being drunk all the time and all but I bet it would be fun.

theAPAOps5
03-17-2009, 10:55 AM
Thats gross. Does it have to be dripping?


:Broncos:

Not sure I didn't say it originally. Need to talk to SoCal about that.

Rohirrim
03-17-2009, 10:58 AM
I'd like one with severe liver damage. Sure he would suck being drunk all the time and all but I bet it would be fun.

I think there have been plenty of those. Bobby Layne, Namath, Stabler...

gyldenlove
03-17-2009, 11:10 AM
My favourites would be:

1. Third arm, he can use 2 hands to hold the ball and still deliver a stiff arm when scrambling.

2. 6th and 7th toe on the "front" foot, would create excellent balance.

3. All over body hair. He would never freeze, it is perfect for december and january games.

Rock Chalk
03-17-2009, 11:14 AM
How about the third eye option? Better vision and you know CBS and Fox would take every opportunity to show that on TV.

Kaylore
03-17-2009, 11:16 AM
"Other"

I want my QB to have a mechanical eye that glows red.

Rock Chalk
03-17-2009, 11:20 AM
Ooh, like the Psylons on the original Battlestar Galactica!

TheReverend
03-17-2009, 11:27 AM
I want to endorse the merit's and quality's of a QB with a peg leg.

Think of the plant he can make at the end of his drop!

Or maybe missing a hand and has it surgically replaced with an ACTUAL cannon?

Kaylore
03-17-2009, 11:31 AM
Ooh, like the Psylons on the original Battlestar Galactica!

More like the Terminator or Kano from Mortal Kombat

http://www.pmptoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/956-067terminator-2-posters.jpg

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y23/jigoku-neko/mortal%20kombat/Kano.jpg

gyldenlove
03-17-2009, 11:33 AM
I want to endorse the merit's and quality's of a QB with a peg leg.

Think of the plant he can make at the end of his drop!

Or maybe missing a hand and has it surgically replaced with an ACTUAL cannon?

I like the idea, but imagine the nightmare when playing on a soaked muddy field like Heinz Field in November, he would have to have the offensive line come back get him out of the mud after ever throw or he would just stand there taking longer and longer snaps.

gyldenlove
03-17-2009, 11:34 AM
"Other"

I want my QB to have a mechanical eye that glows red.

IF we can have other we should just have one with a turbo charged JUGS machine instead of a right arm.

Archer81
03-17-2009, 11:36 AM
Since we are wishing for things, a qb with a PHAT ass.


:Broncos:

Kaylore
03-17-2009, 11:38 AM
IF we can have other we should just have one with a turbo charged JUGS machine instead of a right arm.

No way. Can you imagine the eye? It would be awesome. Now imagine him taking snaps in the cold with a visor on...all this steam coming out of his mouth and you just see this soft red glow beneath the visor.

Awesome.

TheReverend
03-17-2009, 11:50 AM
I like the idea, but imagine the nightmare when playing on a soaked muddy field like Heinz Field in November, he would have to have the offensive line come back get him out of the mud after ever throw or he would just stand there taking longer and longer snaps.

Btw, totally off topic, but bored the other day I was going through people's posting history on college players and their evaluations

And you're really ****ing good. You grow on me even more every day.

scorpio
03-17-2009, 12:05 PM
My thumb on my left hand is double-jointed. I've always suspected I could parlay that into some sort of super-human throwing ability. Somehow. But I've been busy with other stuff.

theAPAOps5
03-17-2009, 12:07 PM
Btw, totally off topic, but bored the other day I was going through people's posting history on college players and their evaluations

And you're really ****ing good. You grow on me even more every day.

You guys should meet up, get a room, and watch the sunset together.

theAPAOps5
03-17-2009, 12:08 PM
Ooh, like the Psylons on the original Battlestar Galactica!

I'm sorry I don't speak nerd can you translate? :angel:

TheReverend
03-17-2009, 12:17 PM
You guys should meet up, get a room, and watch the sunset together.

I actually just offered that via PM.

TheReverend
03-17-2009, 12:20 PM
My thumb on my left hand is double-jointed. I've always suspected I could parlay that into some sort of super-human throwing ability. Somehow. But I've been busy with other stuff.

http://img49.imageshack.us/img49/1802/imagept5.jpg

scorpio
03-17-2009, 12:41 PM
suspiciously accurate picture of scorpio


Ceiling Rev is watching me masturbate?

Pony Boy
03-17-2009, 03:19 PM
An extra pair of Mike Singletary eyes on his backside.

TheReverend
03-17-2009, 03:21 PM
Ceiling Rev is watching me masturbate?

Ceiling Rev is everywhere :thumbsup:

Edit: ..........where there's a ceiling, at least.........

TheElusiveKyleOrton
03-17-2009, 03:23 PM
Other:

Neckbeard.