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vancejohnson82
03-06-2009, 07:03 AM
It was the summer of 1998 and I was participating in the 3 on 3 Hoop It Up basketball tournament in Ramapo, New Jersey. It was set up tournament style and I was playing with my high school teammate and one of my friends from my home town. Two of us were about 5'6" and my other boy was no bigger than 5'10". We were like the 2006 Phoenix Suns, minus the talent and winning.
We rolled through the first 3 rounds of the tournament with very little difficulty. Hitting open jumpers and playing pick and rolls were something that the three of us were very good at being that we played every summer together, so running games like this was really no problem. I felt like Wesley Snipes in "White Men Can't Jump" but soon realized I was just a little suburban white kid drawing inferences from dated movies.
But even as we progressed through the tournament we werent drawing any sort of crowd to our games...we were unappreciated...like the Ellen DeGeneres show.....The reason being that Chris Simms, Greg Toal and some other Ramapo nerd were playing at the same time as us, almost every round, and Phil was in attendance so everybody wanted to be near him. For what its worth, my dad wasn't there, and even if he was I'm pretty sure nobody would have been asking autographs from the Manager of mid-level, international catalytic converter engineer.
It finally boiled down to our team of undersized, blue collar ball players against Simms and his team of football turned basketball superstars. THe game started out horribly for us, being that we werent used to the fanfare this team brought to the table. Everybody was cheering for them, and Phil could be heard on the sidelines leading chants and barking at the ref to call fouls on us when Chris drove to the basket. He was like Ashley Judd at a Kentucky game. These games were to 15 and at the point we started our comeback the score was already 10-4. By the time we ended our little run, we were back in the game 12-11. I looked to pump up the crowd, and thought about ripping off my shirt, but hesitated because at the time I had the physique of a middle-aged Asian woman.
Simms' squad called a timeout, even though we weren't even aware there were timeouts, and they huddled with Toal, the teammate who has no name and Phil. They were planning something. WHen they came back from the huddle we checked up and they ran a backdoor alley-oop play for Chris. During the play I ended up switching and being that I'm about 5'6" by the time Chris was in the air I was almost under him trying to take a charge. I took out his legs and he landed on the ground, right onto his left shoulder, creaing an audible hush from the crowd. All eyes were on Chris as he rolled in pain on the ground and Phil cradled his head in his arms....the Ramapo football team's season in the balance. Then the crowd turned on me.
First it was just a Snickers wrapper. It landed near my feet and I thought maybe someone had dropped it, so I picked it up and looked at the crowd like, "Hey, you know littering is bad, right? Then it was a plastic cup, then a small rock hit my thigh and then someoone's girdle hit me in the face. It was at that point I realized people were throwing things at me. The Ramapo crowd was reaching riot levels of anger because they thought their soon to be senior quarterback was injured, and Hoop it Up had not brought the proper authorities to handle such a situation. Phil's eyes looked up and he gave me the ol' horns with his fingers and gave the crowd the cue to swarm as I imagine Napoleon did before mighty battles. We ran to my friends Civic and fought off the crowd with windshield wiper fluid and loud honks.
From what I hear, the tournament ended with the Ramapo team taking second...it wasn't in the newspaper the next day but that's what I heard at my volunteer job at the animal shelter. To this day, I still think we would have won the game, but I guess it is all just a part of Hoop it Up lore now.

Anyway, good luck Chris Simms.... our paths cross again....kind of

theAPAOps5
03-06-2009, 07:07 AM
Ok when someone else reads this can you paraphrase. Its just too damned long to read about regarding our backup QB. :)

supermanhr9
03-06-2009, 07:08 AM
true???

vancejohnson82
03-06-2009, 07:18 AM
Absolutely, 90% true...

They called the game when he went down and awarded his team the victory because they were winning the game.....total fix

Then he was magically better the next round and played....we werent rushed by the crowd but it was pretty tense, so we left pretty quickly

bowtown
03-06-2009, 07:19 AM
Aren't Kyle Shanahan and Chris Simms like BFFs? I bet he's a Shanahan plant.

theAPAOps5
03-06-2009, 07:23 AM
Aren't Kyle Shanahan and Chris Simms like BFFs? I bet he's a Shanahan plant.

They have eachothers initials tatooed on their ankles, I would say they are more than best friends.

rugbythug
03-06-2009, 07:31 AM
Great Story. Just a Note. (tab) this key is just above caps lock and is used to start a new paragraph.

vancejohnson82
03-06-2009, 07:36 AM
Great Story. Just a Note. (tab) this key is just above caps lock and is used to start a new paragraph.

haha...thanks, Ms. Grammalewinsky....I didnt realize this site was anywhere near being literary friendly..being that most of the threads have titles like,

"Do Yuo Think We Shuold Trade for Faneca?"

UberBroncoMan
03-06-2009, 07:37 AM
Aren't Kyle Shanahan and Chris Simms like BFFs?

Quite more actually.

When I had the pleasure of meeting Chris Simms myself he let me take a picture of his tats!

http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/5659/chrissimms.jpg

bronco militia
03-06-2009, 07:39 AM
Quite more actually.

When I had the pleasure of meeting Chris Simms myself he let me take a picture of his tats!

http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/5659/chrissimms.jpg

bwhaha

dbfan4life
03-06-2009, 07:50 AM
haha...thanks, Ms. Grammalewinsky....I didnt realize this site was anywhere near being literary friendly..being that most of the threads have titles like,

"Do Yuo Think We Shuold Trade for Faneca?"

It's Foneco, dumb ass. Hilarious!

J/k. Entertaining story.

_Oro_
03-06-2009, 08:05 AM
Nice read.

bamanjam
03-06-2009, 08:15 AM
Quite a story from someone who, by description, is a middle aged asian woman. After that depiction the voice in my head switched to Yoko Ono. I thought that, outside of Yao, the asians had difficulty in that arena. Anyway that was quite the yarn. I am looking forward to the next fabled tale. J...K...

vancejohnson82
03-06-2009, 08:24 AM
Quite a story from someone who, by description, is a middle aged asian woman. After that depiction the voice in my head switched to Yoko Ono. I thought that, outside of Yao, the asians had difficulty in that arena. Anyway that was quite the yarn. I am looking forward to the next fabled tale. J...K...

haha...this is no doubt a stretch...but it really did happen...I almost ended Chris Simms' career...

next, I'll tell everyone about how I washed dishes with Stephon Marbury

Archer81
03-06-2009, 09:31 AM
They have eachothers initials tatooed on their ankles, I would say they are more than best friends.



Its rumored they go camping in Wyoming twice a year, just them, no wives...



:Broncos:

Gort
03-06-2009, 09:33 AM
I heard Cutler already called Simms to welcome him to Denver and to let him know that Jay's arm is stronger than Elway's. True story.

bronco0608
03-06-2009, 09:44 AM
That is the funniest thing I've read in while. You are funny as hell vancejohnson82. That's hilarious.