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DeusExManning
02-24-2009, 04:38 PM
Jock Itch: The Mighty Broncos Wisdom of Horvil Tiki
Horvil Tiki
By John Reidy February 24, 2009

Woody Paige, you'd better watch out: Horvil Tiki, a mysterious sage and knower of all things Broncos, may just be the future of sports reporting. Sports blogs probably outnumber porn sites at this point in history, and many are credible sources of sports information, despite not having the resources traditional sports writers enjoy. And although he has no access to the Broncos (or even the ability to spell Jay Cutler’s name right), Horvil Tiki is one of the best sports writers Denver—and maybe the whole blogosphere—has to offer.

If you read the online sports pages of the endangered daily papers in Denver, you probably indulge in the guilty pleasure of scanning the comments following the expertly written sports features. Some time ago, after reading the usual comments left by some asshole who couldn’t understand how the aforementioned Woody Paige gets paid by The Denver Post for his observations, I started noticing the comments authored by one Horvil Tiki.

Written in a style that flaunts a loose grasp of the English language and more misspelled words than an Insane Clown Posse fanpage, Tiki’s posts are strangely alluring, informative, and pretty damn funny. Anyone can be a sports writer, as the Internet has proven—but in our hyper-paced cyber-age, Horvil Tiki is a shining example of how a hardcore fan, no matter how odd, can end up becoming a viable source for sports commentary.

Tiki’s own website offers a Wisdomer Machine (i.e. a page of links to Broncos news); recipes for such treats as Sacred Broncos chocolate chip cookies; regular team updates delivered in a bizarrely mangled fashion; and occasional audio broadcasts shared via YouTube and known collectively as Tiki Mania Radio. Whether he’s someone playing a very, very elaborate joke or a wayward Pacific Islander with a penchant for flagrant spelling errors, Horvil Tiki provides more Broncos insight in his busted prose than most Denver sports writers do rubbing sweaty elbows with the players. In honor of the mystery man’s quixotic coolness, here are three of Horvil Tiki’s greatest hits:

1. A reenactment of the famous hit Broncos great Steve Atwater laid on Kansas City Chief Christian Okoye in 1990—using the video game Tecmo Bowl and titled "Great Momentus In Bronco Historil":

2. A huge fan of Ryan Clady, Tiki recently awarded his Golden Tiki Award to the Broncos offensive tackle. Here is Tiki’s most recent radio broadcast lamenting the news that Clady was not selected for this year’s Pro Bowl:

3. And if reliving the glory of the Broncos’ first Super Bowl victory doesn’t give you chills, I suggest you see Tiki’s Tecmo Bowl re-creation:

I don’t think Woody Paige is in any danger of losing his job to Horvil Tiki. But as the economy continues to drift into oncoming traffic and the Internet sinks its roots deeper into the American psyche, the sports writers of Denver had better watch their asses (or at least take a quick peek over their shoulders). Once he figures out Jay Cutler’s last name isn’t spelled “Cutsper,” Horvil Tiki and his laptop might just take over Denver sports journalism. And for that, we should salute him.


I am not good at embedding the you tube portion but here is the link.

http://denver.decider.com/articles/the-mighty-broncos-wisdom-of-horvil-tiki,24271/

SonOfLe-loLang
02-24-2009, 04:51 PM
love the tiki...especially the tecmo bowl vids

BigPlayShay
02-24-2009, 04:51 PM
1. A reenactment of the famous hit Broncos great Steve Atwater laid on Kansas City Chief Christian Okoye in 1990óusing the video game Tecmo Bowl and titled "Great Momentus In Bronco Historil":

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2. A huge fan of Ryan Clady, Tiki recently awarded his Golden Tiki Award to the Broncos offensive tackle. Here is Tikiís most recent radio broadcast lamenting the news that Clady was not selected for this yearís Pro Bowl:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mjxYFVwJbgk&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mjxYFVwJbgk&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

3. And if reliving the glory of the Broncosí first Super Bowl victory doesnít give you chills, I suggest you see Tikiís Tecmo Bowl re-creation:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/D2pmJ_qk6bM&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/D2pmJ_qk6bM&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

DeusExManning
02-25-2009, 12:31 AM
very cool, thanks for posting the embeds.

Popps
02-25-2009, 12:43 AM
In-con-pete

LMMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kaylore
02-25-2009, 12:45 AM
Does anyone think Oleg should get his own blog? I would read that thing everyday.

BroncoBeavis
05-02-2014, 04:45 PM
I know I'm night of the living threading this one, but I noticed today that HT's site went offline sometime in the recent past.

Anyone heard anything. Or care anymore? :)

Kinda sad, although, in reality, it's been completely unreadable since March 2012.