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DemonEagles
02-20-2009, 11:51 AM
Local Man headed for hard time after fight at arby's

Local man is headed for some hard time as he phsycally and mentally assaulted 5 workers at the local arby's in St. Joseph Missouri. " It was a normal day, I had burnt my hand on a hot ham and cheese earlier in the day, but other than that everything was ok. At 5:00 Michael Mcmichaelson came in for his ususal 5 for 5 dollars meal, which ususally he gets potato wedges, 2 roast beefs, curly fries and after much deleberation goes with another roast beef. at 5:15 mcmichaelson learned that the price of the five for five deal had skyrocketed to 5:95. So enraged he ordered cheese sticks, roast beef, potato wedges and a shake. He then grabbed local old lady Gurtrude Oldiesocks broke apart the cheese sticks and and used it to choke Gutrude " I thought he was going to kill me, or atleast burn me real good" gurtrude said in an old person voice. Mcmichaelson went behind the the counter stealing peoples headset and putting them in the crisper drawers, where workers couldn't call out for help. Walking out with gurtrude he then smashed a hot ham in cheese into the doorlock thus keeping workers from chasing him. As luck may have it a local jack in the box worker mistook mcmichaelson for a rivel fry cook and took a 30 oz baseball bat and sweeped the evil mcmichaelsons legs out. Authorities were called but they were late getting there because of the seat belt check of '99 roadblock they had set up on main. Mcmichaelson will pleed guilty to numourus charges steming from what authorties are calling "the Caper in arby's paper"


Questions Rod Johson@atchisontimes.com

LetsGoBroncos
02-20-2009, 01:35 PM
do you have the link for this?

crush17
02-20-2009, 01:40 PM
wat?

BigPlayShay
02-20-2009, 02:05 PM
http://i511.photobucket.com/albums/s358/ienjoiyourface/1218091288615.jpg

TheReverend
02-20-2009, 02:12 PM
The only thing better than DemonEagles posts are people who don't get it's reactions.

Kaylore
02-20-2009, 02:14 PM
I love the MacGyver-like method of jamming the lock.

SportinOne
02-22-2009, 08:27 AM
Since this is onion-type humor in many different ways, i'll grade it on an onion scale.

Onion - WOW (4 onions)
Onion - Great (3 onions)
Onion - Good (2 onions)
Onion - OK (1 onion)
Onion - Below Par
Onion - Bad
Onion - Just no excuse


Given that (imperfect) scale, it looks like whoever wrote this joke owes me about 1.5 onions.

broncogary
02-22-2009, 08:41 AM
Is this another Spider thread?

Hogan11
02-22-2009, 10:48 AM
I saw Jesus at McDonald's at midnight.....

dbfan4life
02-22-2009, 10:01 PM
The only thing better than DemonEagles posts are people who don't get it's reactions.

I know it. I have yet to read a DE thread that didn't leave me either shaking my head in amusment or just flat out LMOA! This was a good one!

Dagmar
02-22-2009, 10:13 PM
I saw Jesus at McDonald's at midnight.....

I saw him at Carls Jr. Fat ****.

Paladin
02-22-2009, 10:20 PM
I would have thought the Onion would check the spelling to lend some air of authenticity........

bpc
02-22-2009, 10:28 PM
I have a couple buddies from St. Joe, please send me the link! Ha ha.

Doggcow
02-23-2009, 12:24 AM
I work at Arby's :)

DemonEagles
02-23-2009, 12:58 PM
I have a couple buddies from St. Joe, please send me the link! Ha ha.

I just made it up bored on a friday

Malcontent
02-23-2009, 12:59 PM
I am always in a fight after eating Arbys....a fight with my gastro-intestinal system!!

barryr
02-23-2009, 01:08 PM
If somebody tried to take my Chicken Cordon Bleu, yeah, that could set me off.

Los Broncos
02-23-2009, 02:13 PM
Was is Puddy from Seinfeld?

baja
02-23-2009, 02:29 PM
I am outraged, where's the beef.

Bronco Yoda
02-23-2009, 03:18 PM
Who's going to bail out Spidey this time?