Football & Beer

[Donk]

Beer & Football
I was talking to my little bride the other day and she said that all the beer I drank could be why I am having health problems.
“You have drank a ton of beer since we have been married” she said.
I got to thinking …..Did I actually drink a ton of beer?
Lets see there are 2000 pounds in a ton.
If I multiply 2000 pounds by 16 it will show that there are 32,000 ounces in a ton.
If I divide 32,000 by 12 (number of ounces in a can of beer) I learned that there are 2,666.667 cans of beer in a ton.
No way I drank two thousand six hundred sixty six and two thirds beers I thought.
Do you realize how many beer a year I would have to drink?
Let me think…. If I divide 2,666.67 cans of beer by the 48 years we have been married.
That would be a little more then fifty five and one half beers a year.

Damm maybe I did drink a ton of beer.

If I followed my doctors suggestion and drank a beer a day that would be.
365.25 days in a year (the .25 is for leap year) times 48 (years married).that’s 1,7532 beers times 12 that comes to two hundred ten thousand three hundred eighty four ounces of beer, if I divide 210,384 by 32,000 I get 6.57 tons of beer.

Double Damm It’s a wonder I didn’t get drunk.

[Broncobiv]

1) An ounce of liquid is different than an ounce of weight.

2) Re-do your calculations.

[LordHelmchen]

just to pile on.. a ton has about 2204 pounds ;D

[broncofan2438]

Either that or your name "Donk" is so retarted

[Broncobiv]

just to pile on.. a ton has about 2204 pounds ;D
Well that's a metric ton (or tonne). In the US, we think of a ton as a short ton, or 2,000 pounds. A long ton, OTOH, is 2,240.

[oubronco]

dude you got too much time on your hands now bend that little wife over and show her what a ton feels like !!!

[Broncobiv]

Ton (short ton/net ton) = 2,000 pounds = 32,000 oz.

Fl. oz. of beer = approx. 1.095 oz.

One beer = 12 fl. oz = approx. 13.14 oz.

One ton = 32,000/13.14 = approx. 2,435.31 beers (depending on the type of beer you're drinking).

[LordHelmchen]

Well that's a metric ton (or tonne). In the US, we think of a ton as a short ton, or 2,000 pounds. A long ton, OTOH, is 2,240.

damn, learned something new today. I wonder, is the short ton always used? I mean, when the weight of ships or cargo or towers or whatever is stated in tons, is it always the short ton?

[Broncobiv]

damn, learned something new today. I wonder, is the short ton always used? I mean, when the weight of ships or cargo or towers or whatever is stated in tons, is it always the short ton?
Kinda confusing, so I'm just going to copy and paste from Wikipedia! ;D
There are three similar units of mass called the ton:

1. long ton (simply ton in countries such as the United Kingdom which formerly used the Imperial system of weights and measures) is a weight ton or gross ton, and is 2,240 pounds (exactly 1,016.0469088 kg). In the UK and most of the areas which used the Imperial system, the metric ton (1,000 kg), which is conveniently very similar to—less than 2% difference—is the only form of ton legal for trade.
* In the iron industry in the 17th century and 18th century, a ton shortweight was the standard 2,240 lb, whereas a ton longweight was 2,400 lb (the hundredweight being 120 lb).
* The long ton is used for petroleum products such as aviation fuel.
* Deadweight ton (abbreviation 'DWT' or 'dwt') is a measure of a ship's carrying capacity, including bunker oil, fresh water, ballast water, crew and provisions. It is expressed in metric tons (1,000 kg) or long tons (2,240 pounds, about 1,016 kg)[1]. This measurement is also used in the U.S. tonnage of naval ships.
* Increasingly, metric tonnes are being used rather than long tons in measuring the displacement of ships. See tonnage.
2. short ton (usually called simply ton in North America or sometimes called a net ton) = 2,000 lb (about 907.18474 kg).
* Harbour ton used in South Africa in the 20th century, equal to 2000 pounds or one short ton.
3. The metric ton, or tonne, is 1,000 kg (or 1 Mg) or approximately 2,204.6 pounds.

Both the long ton and the short ton are composed of twenty hundredweights, each having different values for the hundredweight (112 and 100 pounds respectively). Prior to the 15th century in England, the ton was composed of 20 hundredweights, each of 108 lb, giving a ton of 2,160 pounds.

[Los Broncos]

Man law!

[LordHelmchen]

Kinda confusing, so I'm just going to copy and paste from Wikipedia! ;D

Thanks... :thumbsup:

[Broncobiv]

I'm wondering how a thread titled "Football & Beer" has now turned into a discussion on mathematics and conversions...

[BroncosinDC]

I'm wondering how a thread titled "Football & Beer" has now turned into a discussion on mathematics and conversions...

Exactly, somebody call up Broncosteven and tell him Gene Krantz has a math problem for him to do. Then tell me how many beers I need to drink to get to a ton.

After I get to a ton someone else can do the math on how many beers are in a ****load, and a ****ton. Because after drinking a ton I highly doubt I will be able to do the math on it.

The real question is how much Jameson have I drank on account of Denver's D?

[Donk]

I'm wondering how a thread titled "Football & Beer" has now turned into a discussion on mathematics and conversions...

I'm wondering why you spoil a good story with facts.

[NYBronco]

Couldn't this wait until the bye week?

[Bronx33]

fifty five and one half beers a year



Is nothing ( PICK UP THE PACE) rookie !

[Broncobiv]

I'm wondering why you spoil a good story with facts.
A good story? Let's paraphrase your "story":

Your wife said that all the beer you drank could be why you're having health problems.
She said, "You have drank a ton of beer since we have been married."
You then go on with some calculations and arrive an an incorrect conclusion.

Are you still sure I "spoiled a good story with facts"? All I did was come in, point out the glaring flaw in your reasoning (fluid ounces are different than ounces of weight), and rectify the mistake.

Damn me and my facts! How dare I let silly things such as facts get in the way of storytelling! :flower:

[broncofan2438]

Couldn't this wait until the bye week?

No kidding!

[Malcontent]

I'm wondering why you spoil a good story with facts.

Yeah...I'm with Donk here...he was simply stating what some guys go through as married men, that also like beer. I know..I'm one of them.

"Your beer money could buy us a vacation in Bermuda" She says once...

"Yeah...but I would have no more money for beer while we were there honey"
was my reply....OUCH! Quit punching me! I exclaimed!

[bronco610]

Yeah...I'm with Donk here...he was simply stating what some guys go through as married men, that also like beer. I know..I'm one of them.

"Your beer money could buy us a vacation in Bermuda" She says once...

"Yeah...but I would have no more money for beer while we were there honey"
was my reply....OUCH! Quit punching me! I exclaimed!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Broncobiv]

Yeah...I'm with Donk here...he was simply stating what some guys go through as married men, that also like beer. I know..I'm one of them.
Well the only thing my wife complains about when it comes to my beer drinking is my beer gut. So for the past couple months I've laid off the beer quite a bit (not totally), and switched to whiskey/scotch. I'm down almost 20 pounds!

[broncocalijohn]

You are having health problems not because of the beer, but because your wife is nagging you to death (or ulcers) and if you have been married for 48 years and I am going to assume you arent from Arkansas and got married at 8, you are one old dude. It is time to go. Old people die. That's what they do. So keep drinking until you pass out and not have to hear her tell you about those little things called, "health problems".

[19Morton77]

You are having health problems not because of the beer, but because your wife is nagging you to death (or ulcers) and if you have been married for 48 years and I am going to assume you arent from Arkansas and got married at 8, you are one old dude. It is time to go. Old people die. That's what they do. So keep drinking until you pass out and not have to hear her tell you about those little things called, "health problems".

WE LOVE YA BLUE! That is one funny, yet mean, post but i got the quote.

[FireFly]

You are having health problems not because of the beer, but because your wife is nagging you to death (or ulcers) and if you have been married for 48 years and I am going to assume you arent from Arkansas and got married at 8, you are one old dude. It is time to go. Old people die. That's what they do. So keep drinking until you pass out and not have to hear her tell you about those little things called, "health problems".

That's pretty cold.

I don't care about the maths, I for one thought it was a good story. Football and beer go together, always have and always will. To put a positive spin on it, after 48 years she still cares. Even if you feel like she's a nag, she wouldn't be nagging if she didn't.

[TailgateNut]

What about "heavy beer"?:spit:

[Jason in LA]

I may be missing something in this story. It talks about beer. But what does this have to do with football? Near the end I was thinking that football was going to be tied in somehow. But football was never even mentioned. Should be titled "Beer".

[Jason in LA]

Well the only thing my wife complains about when it comes to my beer drinking is my beer gut. So for the past couple months I've laid off the beer quite a bit (not totally), and switched to whiskey/scotch. I'm down almost 20 pounds!

I drink a lot of Jack Daniels, on the rocks, not Coke, a few times a week, and I'm in very good shape. Well, I do workout everyday, and I eat a very healthy diet. I guess working out and eating right allows me to drink without gaining weight.