View Full Version : The 5 Most Ridiculous Lies You Were Taught In History Class
alkemical
04-14-2008, 12:56 PM
http://www.cracked.com/article_16101_5-most-ridiculous-lies-you-were-taught-in-history-class.html
#5. Columbus Discovered the Earth is Round
The story we heard:
In 1492, a Spanish ponce by the name of Christopher Columbus won his long-standing feud with the monarchy and the Catholic church to get funding for a voyage to East Asia. They were afraid that he would fail spectacularly, because everybody knew that the Earth was a flat disc, and the direction Columbus was sailing in would cause him to fall off the edge and into the mouth of the giant turtle that supported it.
Columbus, as we were told, did fail to reach his destination, but not because the world was flat--it was because he crashed into the future greatest nation on Earth, baby! Thus, Columbus proved the world was round, discovered America, and a national holiday was born.
The truth:
In the 1400s, the flat-earth theory was taken about as seriously as the Time Cube theory is today, if not less so. The shape of the world has been pretty much settled since the orb theory was first proposed by the ancient Greek philosopher Pythagoras, around 2,000 years before the existence of Spain.
In fact, the navigational techniques of Columbus' time were actually based on the fact that the Earth was a sphere. Trying to navigate the globe as if it was a flat plane would have ****ed up the trip even more than it was.
Artists' representation
The Spanish government's reluctance to pay for Columbus' expeditions didn't have anything to do with their misconceptions about the shape of the world. Ironically, it was because Columbus himself severely underestimated the size of the Earth and everybody knew it. The distance he planned to travel wouldn't have taken him anywhere near Asia. Nevertheless, he eventually scraped together enough funds to embark on his ridiculous adventure, and the cluster**** that was the Columbus voyage has been celebrated annually in the Americas and in Spain ever since.
So where did the myth come from? It began with author and historical charlatan Washington Irving, who wrote a novel about Columbus in 1838. The novel was fiction, but some elements managed to creep into our history textbooks anyway, probably by some editors who wanted to spice it up a bit. Who's going to read a history book that's just filled with a bunch of boring **** anyway?
(More on site)
Smiling Assassin27
04-14-2008, 04:27 PM
Sadly, history is no longer about truth, but rather about what advantage to you stand to gain from the way that you tell your version of history.High school and College level history classes are a joke today.
I can't believe the Galileo lie didn't make it.
Dukes
04-14-2008, 08:20 PM
Teachers can skew things how they see fit, sadly.
Bronco_Beerslug
04-14-2008, 09:13 PM
Teachers can skew things how they see fit, sadly.Only to students who don't question them.
alkemical
04-14-2008, 10:50 PM
heh, it's conditioning NOT to question - if you do - oh boy - you get in some ****. Lemme tell you, i got suspended for creating a mutiny. lol
L.A. BRONCOS FAN
04-14-2008, 11:41 PM
How about the one W*GS was taught, i.e., that there's no difference between the Dalai Lama and Stalin? :D
Florida_Bronco
04-15-2008, 02:55 AM
How about the one W*GS was taught, i.e., that there's no difference between the Dalai Lama and Stalin? :D
Can't you two go one ****ing thread without this ****?
For ****s sake man, both of you are like 5 year olds.
L.A. BRONCOS FAN
04-15-2008, 03:51 AM
Can't you two go one ****ing thread without this ****?
For ****s sake man, both of you are like 5 year olds.
Ha!
Nothing like posting an expletive-laden rant in which you accuse someone else of acting like a five year-old.
I'm not one for religion, but maybe you need to check out Matthew 7:5:
Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.
alkemical
04-15-2008, 07:33 AM
Can't you two go one ****ing thread without this ****?
For ****s sake man, both of you are like 5 year olds.
why do you think i always joke about them being married....
L.A. BRONCOS FAN
04-15-2008, 07:38 AM
why do you think i always joke about them being married....
It's more of a creepy stalker situation - he is, by his own admission, neither a Broncos fan nor an NFL fan.
His only purpose here is a personal vendetta. :crazy:
Bronco Jamus
04-15-2008, 07:43 AM
Columbus didn't discover America, Nords aside, Amerigo is credited.
alkemical
04-15-2008, 07:58 AM
I've found some "alternative" versions to the America/Amerigo thing too - but overall i just found those fun to read as well.
Bronco Bob
04-15-2008, 11:34 AM
It's more of a creepy stalker situation - he is, by his own admission, neither a Broncos fan nor an NFL fan.
His only purpose here is a personal vendetta. :crazy:
Seems to me you were the one to first post a W*gs comment in this thread.
So who is obsessed with who?
alkemical
04-15-2008, 11:44 AM
Bronco Bob,
You don't understand - this has been going on for like... 10 years that i know of....
W*gs isn't a broncos fan, and LABF is le propaganduer ;) So in some way, they are performing some ritual drama since the aeon of time began.
The only thing i find a bit funny about the whole thing...is that more or less - there are more similarities than not in this drama between the two adversaries. Where it is not two men who engage in each other, but the gods of each of the ego's by our thespians. They are not independent, they need each other to exist and define themselves. It's annoying, and it's fascinating all at the same time.
Rohirrim
04-15-2008, 11:53 AM
There's so many lies to choose from. One of my favorites is the "native" American lie.
Humans are not indigenous to the Americas, ergo, no such thing as a "native American."
loborugger
04-15-2008, 12:28 PM
Bronco Bob,
You don't understand - this has been going on for like... 10 years that i know of....
W*gs isn't a broncos fan, and LABF is le propaganduer ;) So in some way, they are performing some ritual drama since the aeon of time began.
The only thing i find a bit funny about the whole thing...is that more or less - there are more similarities than not in this drama between the two adversaries. Where it is not two men who engage in each other, but the gods of each of the ego's by our thespians. They are not independent, they need each other to exist and define themselves. It's annoying, and it's fascinating all at the same time.
Hilarious!
alkemical
04-15-2008, 12:44 PM
I'd rep you, but i ran out :)
L.A. BRONCOS FAN
04-15-2008, 05:19 PM
...and LABF is le propaganduer
Looks like angrydramaqueen has found a way to access clav's account.
L.A. BRONCOS FAN
04-15-2008, 05:21 PM
The only thing i find a bit funny about the whole thing...is that more or less - there are more similarities than not in this drama between the two adversaries. Where it is not two men who engage in each other, but the gods of each of the ego's by our thespians. They are not independent, they need each other to exist and define themselves. It's annoying, and it's fascinating all at the same time.
I've watched you do your fair share of engaging, sparring, and quarreling with him over the past eight years, so I guess it takes a "thespian" to know one.
L.A. BRONCOS FAN
04-15-2008, 05:35 PM
Seems to me you were the one to first post a W*gs comment in this thread.
I didn't deny that, but that doesn't mean what I said about his reason for being here isn't true.
So who is obsessed with who?
No obsession here - the thread was about ridiculous lies (the historical kind) and, considering hardly a day goes by that he doesn't spew some sort of "Stalin = The Dalai Lama" nonsense, I just couldn't resist - it was just too obvious.
[...]considering hardly a day goes by that he doesn't spew some sort of "Stalin = The Dalai Lama" nonsense, I just couldn't resist - it was just too obvious.
Show me where I said or implied or insinuated any such crap.
You're a piece of work, LABF.
orangeatheist
04-17-2008, 05:43 PM
Show me where I said or implied or insinuated any such crap.
It's been my experience reading exchanges between these two that this is basically W*GS's contribution. LABF asserts something negative about W*GS and W*GS calls him on it. I rather think W*GS would get along just fine without LABF (albeit, it may not be as much fun) but LABF needs an antagonist. He lives to piss off someone. I'm sure if it weren't W*GS it'd be someone else. I actually think LABF cozies up to Gaffe just to twist W*GS's titty. Seriously.
L.A. BRONCOS FAN
04-17-2008, 06:01 PM
It's been my experience reading exchanges between these two that this is basically W*GS's contribution. LABF asserts something negative about W*GS and W*GS calls him on it. I rather think W*GS would get along just fine without LABF (albeit, it may not be as much fun) but LABF needs an antagonist. He lives to piss off someone. I'm sure if it weren't W*GS it'd be someone else. I actually think LABF cozies up to Gaffe just to twist W*GS's titty. Seriously.
There you go with another uninformed opinion re: something about which you know nothing.
W*GS is, by his own admission, not a Broncos fan. He's not even an NFL fan.
He followed me here from the old DPO to carry on a personal vendetta.
That is his only reason for being here.
Your takes are starting to sound just as silly as the snake handlers to whom you set yourself in opposition.
LABF has to lie in his attempts to piss me off.
It would be an interesting psychological study to understand why he's such a pathological liar.
Dukes
04-17-2008, 06:50 PM
There you go with another uninformed opinion re: something about which you know nothing.
W*GS is, by his own admission, not a Broncos fan. He's not even an NFL fan.
He followed me here from the old DPO to carry on a personal vendetta.
That is his only reason for being here.
Your takes are starting to sound just as silly as the snake handlers to whom you set yourself in opposition.
Do you ever post in any forum besides WRP?
L.A. BRONCOS FAN
04-17-2008, 07:09 PM
Do you ever post in any forum besides WRP?
Do you?
If you did, then you'd probably already know the answer to that question. :D
Dukes
04-17-2008, 10:47 PM
Do you?
If you did, then you'd probably already know the answer to that question. :D
You obviously don't. I've NEVER seen a post by you in any other forum. And I frequent many of them.
L.A. BRONCOS FAN
04-17-2008, 11:14 PM
You obviously don't. I've NEVER seen a post by you in any other forum. And I frequent many of them.
If you've "never" seen a post by me in any other forum then this is a statement about your powers of attention and/or observation - not a statement of fact.
In any event, what does this have to do with anything? :crazy:
alkemical
04-18-2008, 09:01 AM
It's been my experience reading exchanges between these two that this is basically W*GS's contribution. LABF asserts something negative about W*GS and W*GS calls him on it. I rather think W*GS would get along just fine without LABF (albeit, it may not be as much fun) but LABF needs an antagonist. He lives to piss off someone. I'm sure if it weren't W*GS it'd be someone else. I actually think LABF cozies up to Gaffe just to twist W*GS's titty. Seriously.
I'm telling you man, this goes back easily 10 years, easily.
I'm telling you man, this goes back easily 10 years, easily.
Not quite.
alkemical
04-18-2008, 10:28 AM
Not quite.
greater or lesser ;)
Dukes
04-18-2008, 12:51 PM
If you've "never" seen a post by me in any other forum then this is a statement about your powers of attention and/or observation - not a statement of fact.
In any event, what does this have to do with anything? :crazy:
Just pointing out your hypocrisy
L.A. BRONCOS FAN
04-18-2008, 06:18 PM
Just pointing out your hypocrisy
:oyvey:
Um, no.
What actually happened was that you made a false statement, i.e., that I never post on any other forum, in an attempt to justify such an accusation.
What actually happened was that you made a false statement, i.e., that I never post on any other forum, in an attempt to justify such an accusation.
You complaining about false statements is the very definition of irony.
You're a baldfaced liar, and we all know it, LABF.
L.A. BRONCOS FAN
04-19-2008, 01:22 AM
:oyvey:
More baseless ad hominems and bandwagon appeals from psycho stalker boy.
L.A. BRONCOS FAN
04-19-2008, 01:45 AM
Says Dubya's Director of Deflection.
These days, he has to convince himself that a lot of people are "lying" in order to stave off the recognition that he lives in a world that doesn't match his perceptions or his claims.
http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/7453/lapdog1cj.jpg
Wonder if we will ever get to see inside the Bush White House durning these last challenging days of his presidency.
L.A. BRONCOS FAN
04-19-2008, 02:16 AM
Wonder if we will ever get to see inside the Bush White House durning these last challenging days of his presidency.
Only if you're a fake journalist who runs a gay escort service. ;)
You're lying, LABF.
Indeed, you lie so much that such behavior is an indication that you're seriously ****ed in the head.