View Full Version : Dolphins Channing Crowder is a stand-up comic!
By Tim Graham | Wednesday, October 24, 2007, 07:54 PM
Maybe he was joking, but gregarious Dolphins linebacker Channing Crowder confessed today he didn’t know until Tuesday that people spoke English in London.
Crowder, a former Florida Gator and Atlanta native, apparently isn’t sure where the plane is headed when it takes off this afternoon for Sunday’s game against the New York Giants in Wembley Stadium.
“I couldn’t find London on a map if they didn’t have the names of the countries,” Crowder said. “I swear to God. I don’t know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I learned that.
“I know (Washington Redskins linebacker) London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That’s the closest thing I know to London. He’s black, so I’m sure he’s not from London. I’m sure that’s a coincidental name.”
When reminded Dolphins practice squad receiver and NFL Europe veteran Marvin Allen is from London, Crowder’s standup routine didn’t miss a beat.
“He’s from London?” Crowder said. “I knew he was from over there because he talks funny. I was surprised (when they met) because — I don’t want to say he didn’t look the part because that’s a stereotype — but he didn’t look the part. I heard him talk, and I thought he had a recorder and was just mouthing.”
Source: Palm Beach Post
http://www.palmbeachpost.com/blogs/content/shared-blogs/palmbeach/miamidolphins/entries/2007/10/24/crowder_discovers_he_wont_need.html?cxntfid=blogs_ inside_the_dolphins
TheReverend
10-25-2007, 08:42 AM
Un
****ing
believable
TheReverend
10-25-2007, 08:43 AM
PS. Nice find Heav. Stuff like this makes my day.
PPS. Aren't you amazed a human being like this makes more in a year than just about any of us would in about a decade?
I just hope the kid was really joking.
TheReverend
10-25-2007, 09:08 AM
The entire conversation drips of "retard". There may have been a joke here and there but no chance he's not legally retarded.
Further proof that if you can open your mouth without drooling and play good football someone will find a way to get your ass into college.
Jens1893
10-25-2007, 09:16 AM
i wonder what the dumber thing is
not knowing where london is and what language they speak there or openly speaking about it? if i was so geographically challenged that i didnt even know the simplest of things and i sure as **** wouldn´t talk about it with the media.
TheReverend
10-25-2007, 09:21 AM
“I swear to God. I don’t know what nothing is."
cmhargrove
10-25-2007, 09:24 AM
It's a real wonder these kids blow all their money before they've even left the league. Sheesh...
Beantown Bronco
10-25-2007, 09:27 AM
Further proof that if you can open your mouth without drooling and play good football someone will find a way to get your ass into college.
Better watch it....I made this very comment about football factory Universities a few weeks ago. Didn't go over too well.
FantomForce
10-25-2007, 09:28 AM
And people wonder why others out of the U.S. think we're stupid. Man he should hook up with Miss South Carolina theed have dem som smart babies!
In as much and such
Traveler
10-25-2007, 09:29 AM
C'mon folks! The kid is joking. He scored a 30 on the Wonderlic. :thumbs:
TheReverend
10-25-2007, 09:34 AM
C'mon folks! The kid is joking. He scored a 30 on the Wonderlic. :thumbs:
I was thinking of that... he could actually have been a genius contaminated by Joey Porter.
C'mon folks! The kid is joking. He scored a 30 on the Wonderlic. :thumbs:
I dropped a dirty baby an hour ago that could ace the wonderlic. Most pathetic "test" of mental capabilities ever.
broncofan2438
10-25-2007, 11:26 AM
wow
Our boy Tim isn't related to this guy, is he?
Dagmar
10-25-2007, 12:34 PM
Ah, Americans.
http://www.netcartoon.net/naaas/stupid1.jpg
http://www.pubfoto.com/albums/gioxx-comics/difference_european_vs_american_girls.sized.jpg
http://img524.imageshack.us/img524/9580/1191601257460rh2.jpg
http://e.photos.cx/college_education-d79.jpg
I kid. Not all Americans are ignorant. http://www.blogd.com/images/Stupid_Bush.jpg
Man, this thread is gonna get closed uberfast...
Dagmar
10-25-2007, 12:34 PM
http://img66.imageshack.us/img66/6812/1191565387029vj0.jpg
Dagmar
10-25-2007, 12:35 PM
I kid! Heres the other side of the coin before I am lynched!
http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/3429/1191576126298sw5.jpg
Rock Chalk
10-25-2007, 12:42 PM
Ahh, Scotland, where men are men and sheep are scared.
Why do the men in Scotland wear skirts [yes I know they are called kilts]? Because sheep can hear zippers.
Spider
10-25-2007, 12:54 PM
this is just ****ing sad ...... http://img66.imageshack.us/img66/6812/1191565387029vj0.jpg
everyone knows Berlin is a rock singer ;D
BMF Bronco
10-25-2007, 12:57 PM
I haven't the words....
Rock Chalk
10-25-2007, 01:02 PM
this is just ****ing sad ...... http://img66.imageshack.us/img66/6812/1191565387029vj0.jpg
everyone knows Berlin is a rock singer ;D
Well, thats the liberal media for you ;D
Dagmar
10-25-2007, 01:09 PM
Well, thats the liberal media for you ;D
:peace: ;)
snowspot66
10-25-2007, 01:53 PM
Ah, Americans.
http://www.pubfoto.com/albums/gioxx-comics/difference_european_vs_american_girls.sized.jpg
America may be the fattest nation in the world but aren't France, Germany, and England the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th in no particular order? :P
Jason in LA
10-25-2007, 02:49 PM
I'd say the joke is on you guys who actually thought this guy was serious. When I was reading his comments I was having a good laugh. That guy is funny.
As for that photo of the fat American chick and the slim European chick, I'd say there are probably a ton of fat Euros. There are hot chicks and fatties from every nation. That photo makes it seem like you won't find hot chicks over here, but over there you'll find the hottest chicks on the planet. Like hot chicks are just every where you look. I call BS on that one.
Dagmar
10-25-2007, 03:21 PM
I'd say the joke is on you guys who actually thought this guy was serious. When I was reading his comments I was having a good laugh. That guy is funny.
As for that photo of the fat American chick and the slim European chick, I'd say there are probably a ton of fat Euros. There are hot chicks and fatties from every nation. That photo makes it seem like you won't find hot chicks over here, but over there you'll find the hottest chicks on the planet. Like hot chicks are just every where you look. I call BS on that one.
Jason, you make a point about people missing the humor with Crowder but blatantly miss the humor with the photo! OF course there are hot americans! It is a joke about the stereotype!
Spider
10-25-2007, 03:23 PM
Well, thats the liberal media for you ;D
LOL
Natedogg
10-25-2007, 03:41 PM
I'd say the joke is on you guys who actually thought this guy was serious. When I was reading his comments I was having a good laugh. That guy is funny.
As for that photo of the fat American chick and the slim European chick, I'd say there are probably a ton of fat Euros. There are hot chicks and fatties from every nation. That photo makes it seem like you won't find hot chicks over here, but over there you'll find the hottest chicks on the planet. Like hot chicks are just every where you look. I call BS on that one.
In my experience I would say fat euros are pretty rare. I don't think I saw anyone as obese as Bob during my whole two year stint there. To be fair, UK women tend to be fatter than those on the mainland (but not yet close to as fat as US chicks) UK birds also have fankles, deposits of fat where their calves should be.
Los Broncos
10-25-2007, 03:58 PM
The funny is, people like this woman on the right think they are entitled to everything a man can provide them.
Beantown Bronco
10-25-2007, 04:00 PM
The funny is, people like this woman on the right think they are entitled to everything a man can provide them.
I feel really bad for the poor soul that had to do that tattoo.....
epicSocialism4tw
10-25-2007, 04:04 PM
I'd say the joke is on you guys who actually thought this guy was serious. When I was reading his comments I was having a good laugh. That guy is funny.
As for that photo of the fat American chick and the slim European chick, I'd say there are probably a ton of fat Euros. There are hot chicks and fatties from every nation. That photo makes it seem like you won't find hot chicks over here, but over there you'll find the hottest chicks on the planet. Like hot chicks are just every where you look. I call BS on that one.
I'm certain that in general, American women are far better looking than British, Scottish, Irish, or German women.
There's a certain "teeth" factor that seems to give the American women an inherent advantage.
Los Broncos
10-25-2007, 04:05 PM
I feel really bad for the poor soul that had to do that tattoo.....
Is that a tatt on her booty crack?
Beantown Bronco
10-25-2007, 04:08 PM
There's a certain "teeth" factor that seems to give the American women an inherent advantage.
I take it you haven't done much travelling outside the major metropolitan areas in this country, have you?
Beantown Bronco
10-25-2007, 04:09 PM
Is that a tatt on her booty crack?
Can't imagine (though I'm not really trying, for obvious reasons) what else it could be...
Hercules Rockefeller
10-25-2007, 04:10 PM
http://img66.imageshack.us/img66/6812/1191565387029vj0.jpg
Yeah. So? We'll put countries where we want them to be, and the Euros can deal with it and thank us that they aren't speaking Russian now.
Spider
10-25-2007, 04:11 PM
I'm certain that in general, American women are far better looking than British, Scottish, Irish, or German women.
There's a certain "teeth" factor that seems to give the American women an inherent advantage.
you do understand that the woman on the left is from UK right
Jens1893
10-25-2007, 04:13 PM
This is gonna end badly.
epicSocialism4tw
10-25-2007, 04:14 PM
you do understand that the woman on the left is from UK right
You didnt see her face.
There's a reason for that. ;D
epicSocialism4tw
10-25-2007, 04:15 PM
This is gonna end badly.
For you.
Germany's finest:
http://www.willissausagehaus.com/GermanWomen-foodlayout.jpg
Spider
10-25-2007, 04:17 PM
You didnt see her face.
There's a reason for that. ;D
yeah . Her ass is fine ........ Bite that on the ass get lock jaw get drug to death I wouldnt complain 1 bit .......
Jens1893
10-25-2007, 04:18 PM
For you.
Germany's finest:
http://www.willissausagehaus.com/GermanWomen-foodlayout.jpg
I prefer Heidi Klum as long as she keeps her mouth shut.
Natedogg
10-25-2007, 04:19 PM
Its statistically proven that, on average, american women are fatter.
There are buttugly euro, and us women out there. From my experience, there are more buttugly us women.
Nice teeth don't make you unfat.
epicSocialism4tw
10-25-2007, 04:19 PM
Scotland.
Where "homely" means "stunning".
http://www.scottishgolfview.com/uploaded_images/KRYSTLECAITHNESSHD07-722045.JPG
Los Broncos
10-25-2007, 04:21 PM
Can't imagine (though I'm not really trying, for obvious reasons) what else it could be...
Ill let it go
Spider
10-25-2007, 04:22 PM
Scotland.
Where "homely" means "stunning".
http://www.scottishgolfview.com/uploaded_images/KRYSTLECAITHNESSHD07-722045.JPG
if she has an ass like the other one ...flip her over
epicSocialism4tw
10-25-2007, 04:22 PM
This woman is a clothing model in Scotland:
http://www.mistythicket.com/ebay/scottish_arisaidh_ancient_01.jpg
PLOWHORSE
10-25-2007, 04:25 PM
yeah . Her ass is fine ........ Bite that on the ass get lock jaw get drug to death I wouldnt complain 1 bit .......
Lone Wolf McQuade references always get Rep from me!:thumbsup:
Spider
10-25-2007, 04:25 PM
Lone Wolf McQuade references always get Rep from me!:thumbsup:
LOL that was an excellent line
epicSocialism4tw
10-25-2007, 04:34 PM
There are lots of things to complain about America if you are not from here, but our women are not one of them.
Our women smell good, shave their arm pits, fix their hair, wear make up, brush their teeth, and wear pretty clothes.
I'd say that those qualities alone give us a significant advantage.
Not to mention that we have California girls, Texas girls, Southern Belles, Midwestern girls, East Coast girls, and everything in between (except for maybe Nebraska ;D ).
Edit: by the way...if you have never been to Texas, and you are single...move here. The women are outstanding. Both in character and in beauty.
broncocalijohn
10-25-2007, 05:33 PM
And people wonder why others out of the U.S. think we're stupid. Man he should hook up with Miss South Carolina theed have dem som smart babies!
In as much and such
Too late. She is pregnant with Travis Henry's baby. This guy is from the University of Florida. Without a knowledge of our top ally and double negative english, good to know the college educated student had football to fall back on.
(Jae)
10-25-2007, 06:04 PM
Calm down people........he's just having fun with the media.
Here are some facts about Channing. He scored a 30 on the wonderlic. He was a member of the National Honors Society in college. He had a validated 3.5 GPA at University of Florida, and I believe he graduated early.
Jason in LA
10-25-2007, 07:07 PM
if you have never been to Texas, and you are single...move here. The women are outstanding. Both in character and in beauty.
I've been thinking about an extended visit to Atlanta. From what I've been told by a few people, the only thing better for a straight black guy is Brazil. The stats that have been thrown around is that black women out number straight black men 20-1. From what I've heard, there are a lot of gay black men that move down there, so when a straight black guy goes down there he's treated like a king. Out here in LA the ratio sucks, so women tend to have the advantage, and they can be a real pain in the ass because of it.
As for US women in general, there are a lot of fatties, more than we really need, but there are so many hot women, who really cares? There are more than enough hot women to go around.
Dagmar
10-25-2007, 08:21 PM
It's funny how dramallama turned a joke picture into a tantrum.
SoCalBronco
10-26-2007, 02:24 AM
Eh.....if this is all Channing Crowder gets in the news for....thats cool.
He was a horrible human being during his college days at Florida, a real thug...I'm glad he's not getting in the news for those types of things anymore.
epicSocialism4tw
10-26-2007, 02:41 AM
It's funny how dramallama turned a joke picture into a tantrum.
:spit:
It's funny how Schwagmar can't take a joke.
Which is odd given that you've had to look at women that are more masculine than 90% of your own men for some portion of your life.
Aye! Hail the Scotswomen!
Jens1893
10-26-2007, 02:57 AM
:spit:
It's funny how Schwagmar can't take a joke.
Which is odd given that you've had to look at women that are more masculine than 90% of your own men for some portion of your life.
Aye! Hail the Scotswomen!
Doubtful. Some girls there are minging, but some are quite a looker. Mind, nothing comes close to Sweden or Eastern Europe.
Popps
10-26-2007, 03:30 AM
Out here in LA the ratio sucks, so women tend to have the advantage, and they can be a real pain in the ass because of it.
.
:rofl:
Yea, LA is a real tough place to find women.
Must be the "ratio," not you. I'd blame the ratio.
Friggin' hysterical.