Guide to being a New England sports fan

[Jens1893]

http://kissmesuzy.blogspot.com/2007/10/ksk-guide-to-being-insufferable-hole-s.html


With the Red Sox advancing to the World Series, Boston College still undefeated, KG moving to the Celtics, and this year’s Patriots in the process of becoming the best team in the history of the NFL (and you’re deluding yourself if you can't accept the reality of that), we are on the verge of witnessing a perfect storm of douchebaggery emanating from the greater Boston area. We’re talking the absolute zenith of self-important ****facery. The sky will turn pitch black and rain vinegar upon us all.

I have done all that I can to stop this. I’ve offered bounties, yet NFL defenders remain too dumb, and NFL defensive coaches too incompetent to call for a drop kick right to Tom Brady’s patella. We at KSK have also tried repeatedly hammering the point home that Bill Simmons is a ****ing douchebag (see below, or just wait for the next post). It’s a like a political talking point: the more often we say it, the more likely it is to stick in your brain, regardless of whether or not you actually believe it (“Oh, Bill Simmons? Yeah, he’s a douche. No, wait! I kinda used to like him! Damn you, KSK!"). But those efforts have done nothing to stem this growing doucheflood.

We are left with two options. The first option is to cultivate the hatred the rest of the nation has for these people, so that, even when the Patriots or Red Sox win, they cannot savor the victory fully. After all, if there’s any group of fans that has a “Why can’t you be happy for us?” mentality, it’s New England sports fans. Not only do they act douchey when they win. But they fully expect you to jump on the bandwagon with them. Witness Simmons’ infamous Pats-hater b****fest from earlier in the year, one of the sorriest sports columns ever written.

Boston fans fail to grasp a standard rule of sports fandom, which is: Any team that wins a title that is not your team is ****ing annoying. It doesn’t matter how the other team won. They’re not YOUR team, so they can eat a fat dick. **** this “appreciating” other teams ****. Normal fans don’t do that. At least Cowboy and Yankee fans have a solid understanding of just why people can’t ****ing stand them. But Mickey from Natick? Nope, he’s not gonna grasp that concept. In fact, he’s not gonna grasp much of anything.

So that’s one option. But there is another option, and that is, of course, to join them. Is this a lame thing to do? Oh, yeah. Total ****head move. But hey, maybe you’re a Dolphins fan and you’ve abandoned all hope. Maybe becoming a dip**** a-hole cumguzzler like Jimmy Fallon is your only way to stay happy. I don’t approve, but I’m not here to judge. We at KSK are here for the people, so we’ve come up with a few rules, listed below, of just how to turn yourself into one of these fans. One bonus of becoming an insufferable Boston bandwagon fan is that it gives the rest of us extra ammunition to want to gut New England fans with a paring knife, which I’m more than okay with. Hate feels good. It really gets me through my day.

Lest you think these rules are farcical, I assure you they are not. No one knows the psyche of New England sports fans quite like I do. I went to dip**** prep school in New England. I went to college in New England. My parents have lived in Connecticut for the past 17 years. You might even call me a “total ****ing hypocrite,” which is more than fair. I’ve been in the heart of the douche. I’ve worn the fleece. I’ve heard all the God Street Wine songs. I know what it’s all about. I had plenty of opportunities to join the brood. Despite my own history of wanton douchebaggery, I resisted. But I’m still enough of a preppy *****mack to help you reach your goal. Here now, is how you become one of “them”:

1. Use Manny Ramirez to justify all your stereotypes about Latin Americans, but do NOT use David Ortiz to refute any of them.

2. b**** about Dane Cook “representing” you while, at the same time, rocking his exact same haircut.

3. Boast about Bill Belichick’s strategic genius as if it is somehow indirectly your doing. You’ll see plenty of New England fans, when seeing another coach **** up, say to you, “Now, would Belichick do something like that? Hell no. He’d do it totally different.” You see, pointing out Belichick’s acumen is a way of trying to pass it off as your own. He’s smart, which makes you smart! Talk about Belichick the same way a proud father boasts about his child prodigy. You won’t be any more intelligent. In fact, you’ll still be a ****ing eggplant. But you’ll feel more intelligent, and that’s nice.

4. Own $1,000 worth of Red Sox merchandise, but no Patriots merchandise whatsoever. The lone exception: The Wes Welker jersey. Pats fans love Wes Welker because he’s white. Just like them! They also love Tedi Bruschi, because he’s kinda white. And hey, that’s not bad either.

5. Be sure to boast about all the hot chicks Tom Brady gets to nail. Because that’s totally something for YOU to brag about.

6. Complain earnestly about how many ads Peyton Manning appears in while continuing to brag about the Pats' O-line being Brady's five layers of protection. Lord knows Brady's never been in an ad for Stetson, or Movado, or Gap, or any of that ****.

7. If you put a five into a jukebox at any sports bar, you must play “Satellite” by the Dave Matthews Band at least once.

8. Act proudly ignorant of things you already know. Like so: “Hey, who was that colored guy in that “Rush Hour” movie? He was all right.” You know damn well it's Chris Tucker, but the casual racism makes you 50% more charming to chicks in Framingham. This works even better if you’re a Boston-area college student. Yeah, you go to Tufts, but you have no fackin’ idea who those Maroon 5 ******s are. Sure, buddy. For a walking example of proud stupidity, consult this dumb****:

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9. Be sure to try and distinguish yourself as a “real fan”. All “real” Boston fans must be able to judge their fellow Boston fans' credibility. Never been to Fenway? Poseur. Didn't like the Pat Patriot logo? Bandwagoner. Went to college outside New England? Turncoat. Too young to remember the '86 Celtics? ******.

10. b**** about the Boston accents in any film or TV show. “Yeah, ‘The Depahted’ was fackin’ great, but they don’t talk like that in fackin’ REVEEEEAH!!!!!” Yes, no film could ever accurately depict just how real, how fierce your hardscrabble Newton upbringing was.

11. Adopt the attitude that you, yes you, DESERVE this success. “Hey, we Pats fans know how it used to be back in the day. We earned these titles.” Don’t treat your team’s good fortune as the stroke of good fortune it happens to be. No, no, no. Your championship has to be deeper then someone else’s championship. It has to mean something more. Why? Because you fancy yourself as being introspective. Cockgobbler. Treat it like some sort of karmic reward for Len Bias dying, or some other twisted, idiotic explanation.

12. Always treat your fandom as membership to some kind of exclusive club of super cool people. Like the whole Red Sox Nation thing. Oooh, you guys all root for the same team? How unique! How special! ****ing die. Be sure to adopt a siege mentality when your team is criticized. “Hey, you can’t rip on Papelbon! He’s fackin’ one of us!” Whatever you need to make yourself feel less alone in the world.

13. Be sure to grow your hair out under your artificially aged Red Sox hat so that little hair wings sprout out the side. That looks great.

14. Laugh at your own jokes. You're so funny, guy!

15. Shun Ben Affleck. Embrace Matt Damon. That apples line never gets old!

16. Finally, b**** about everything: critics, certain players who personally disappoint you, etc. They call it New England for a reason. People in England love to ****ing complain. You are the newer, even more annoying model.

Follow these rules and I promise you that everyone from the nation’s remaining 44 states will want to rape you with a hammer. But hey, you’re a Boston sports fan now. You’ll be completely ignorant to your own jackassery. That’s the beauty of it. You are now just as ****ing annoying as a Notre Dame football fan, or a Duke basketball fan. That's right, Pats fan. That's the level you're at right now. Enjoy your world titles, you ****ing cockhog.

[OrangeShadow]

:oyvey: :oyvey: nice generalizing.

[Jens1893]

:oyvey: :oyvey: nice generalizing.

Sometimes you have to be able to laugh at yourself.

[OrangeShadow]

well im not a patsie fan,but i have fun picking on my friends who are because shanahan OWNS BB.

[Dagmar]

Sweet Grandmothers spatula! I thought it was the Yankees everyone hated!

[Jens1893]

Sweet Grandmothers spatula! I thought it was the Yankees everyone hated!

The Red Sox have become what they always despised. Even Bill Simmons admits it.

[Garcia Bronco]

Lmao

[OrangeShadow]

The Red Sox have become what they always despised. Even Bill Simmons admits it.

Because bill simmons says it that makes it fact?

The thing they always "despised" is how the yankees try and buy championships. Not taking any regard when it comes to chemistry but just trying to put an all star team out there and expect to win.

The red sox draft and utilize their farm system better than almost any other team out there. They mix veterans talent with rookie talent better than anyone ive seen. They have the perfect balance while being competitive every year.

Sure,since 2004 there are a lot of bandwagon fans but when you are competitive every year thats to be expected. But for lifetime fans like myself there will NEVER be anything like 2004. It was more special than any other title can ever be.

The red sox have not become what they despised, no matter what the perception is.

[SureShot]

Perfect!

[bpc]

I would love to see the Rocks knocked the crap out of the BoSox in the WS and see Denver rally to win the west, make the playoffs and unseat the #1 seated Patriots at their place... man what I would give to see that!

[chadta]

The red sox have not become what they despised, no matter what the perception is.

Perception is realty dood

[spdirty]

I would love to see the Rocks knocked the crap out of the BoSox in the WS and see Denver rally to win the west, make the playoffs and unseat the #1 seated Patriots at their place... man what I would give to see that!

...as well as the Avs winning the division and the Nuggs winning 55-60 games.:~ohyah!:

[Jens1893]

Because bill simmons says it that makes it fact?

No, but Bill Simmons is the biggest Pats/Red Sox homer and frontrunner I have seen and I personally think it speaks volumes when even he says this.

And not even the Yankees put out a team that consists of "rented guns" only. Even they managed to bring some guys through their farm system throughout the years.

[ro_50]

I'm a lifelong Tribe fan, so I'm not well right now but there is something about the Boston sports fan that rubs me the wrong way.

[Kaylore]

Sweet Grandmothers spatula! I thought it was the Yankees everyone hated!

The Red Sox drew a lot sympathy because of the curse...then it was lifted and everyone remembered they're all still just a bunch of Boston fans.

[epicSocialism4tw]

Although vile and a little over the top (strikingly Bostonian in nature), that article was a hoot.

I used to enjoy Bill Simmons before he decided that he needed to throw his objectivity out the window. Now the guy is just another Boston fan.

[Paladin]

....The red sox draft and utilize their farm system better than almost any other team out there. They mix veterans talent with rookie talent better than anyone ive seen. They have the perfect balance while being competitive every year.


The red sox have not become what they despised, no matter what the perception is.


Every team out there says they have the best farm system and their team is made up of vets and rookies....etc., etc.... The Dudgers do it that way and so do the Snakes and the Rockies, and ......well, h3ll, they all do. That's the best you've seen? You look around at all?

The Sawks may not have become what they despise, but the fans have. You just said they had a farm system the best you've ever seen and a perfect balance. Isn't that a tad bit on the personal opinion side? Do you really, really believe that assertion? Isn't that a bit egotistical? Isn't that a bit arrogant?

You have just confirmed the correctness of the OP.....

[DomCasual]

I can't argue with any of that.

I'll tell you what. If the Rockies beat the Red Sox, it will be the sweetest victory I've ever been a part of. I felt no acrimony towards the Packers or the Falcons. The Florida Panthers? Bah! The Devils had a few irritating characters, but nothing that kept anyone up at night. The Red Sox, though. I HATE the Red Sox! I hate their fans. I REALLY hate Bill Simmons. When I think of a Rockies win, I get goosebumps thinking about Simmons reaction when the series ends. I hate Manny being Manny. Curt Schilling rubs me the wrong way. David Ortiz is a hard guy to hate, definitely. But he's in the minority.

Go to the Red Sox team board right now and peruse some of the threads. You'll come away with an healthy dose of malevolence.

[Hogan11]

Curt Schilling rubs me the wrong way.

He's reason enough to hate them. He's a loudmouthed jerk...always has been.

[Los Broncos]

I'm not a big fan of the Redsox, with manram peeing in left field to Shilling and his loud mouth, tough to get with them.

[OrangeDoofus]

I used to enjoy Bill Simmons before he decided that he needed to throw his objectivity out the window. Now the guy is just another Boston fan.

Did you see the column where he said maybe the Pats were recording the Jets' defensive signals because they were trying to catch the Jets cheating? He was upset because nobody in the media was investigating this possibility.

I died a little inside when I read that because that's the first time I remember him being a homer and not admit that he was being a homer. Damn shame.

[OrangeDoofus]

Yeah, so about the OP:

If anyone's seriously offended by this, it's only because they have no sense of humor and no ability to laugh at themselves. I lived in Boston for 10 years, loved the city, loved the people, and I've been happy for the success they've had over the last few years. But that post is pretty much dead on. Boston sports fans are funny people.

[Killericon]

I like the Sox, frankly. Sure, I'm a Jays fan, but I do like that team. I only know one Pats fan, and I know no Sox fans. I really can't comment. I can, however, assure you that the Sox are not the Yankees.

It's odd. I hate the Pats, I really do...But I want Moss to get a ring. He's my guy, what can I say? So if it isn't the Broncos, and it isn't the Vikings, and it isn't the 49ers to the Buccaneers...Then I might as well root for the Pats to bring home the ring.

NOTE: DON'T MISINTERPRET THIS! I'M SAYING THAT IF THE BRONCOS ARE NOT IN CONTENTION, WHICH THEY STILL COULD BE!

[OrangeDoofus]

Actually (also assuming the Broncos are out of contention) I'm pulling for the Patriots to go 19-0 and shove it in Nick Buoniconti's face.

[OrangeShadow]

Every team out there says they have the best farm system and their team is made up of vets and rookies....etc., etc.... The Dudgers do it that way and so do the Snakes and the Rockies, and ......well, h3ll, they all do. That's the best you've seen? You look around at all?

The Sawks may not have become what they despise, but the fans have. You just said they had a farm system the best you've ever seen and a perfect balance. Isn't that a tad bit on the personal opinion side? Do you really, really believe that assertion? Isn't that a bit egotistical? Isn't that a bit arrogant?

You have just confirmed the correctness of the OP.....

Well with youkilis,pedroia,ellsbury,papelbon,lester,bucholz all coming from the farm. Then people like wake,tek,manny who have been here for years it is balance.

I know schill and manny are a big reason people hate the sox, and schilling is a loud mouth and that part of him i could do without. But his postseason resume and his career in general is hard to argue with. And manny gets away with what he does becuase hes one of if not THE greatest right handed hitter ever. It may not be right but its how it is.

And i know the patriots are another reason to hate boston and believe me im as sick of the patriots as you guys are.


Until you guys live through what red sox fans lived through for 86 years there is really no way you can understand what being a red sox fan has meant. If you find that cocky and arrogant so be it. But you know the feeling of having colorado being in the world series after not being in contention for the vast part of their existence? multiply that by about 4 or 5 and you've got how thrilling 2004 was for me.

[Jens1893]

Did you see the column where he said maybe the Pats were recording the Jets' defensive signals because they were trying to catch the Jets cheating? He was upset because nobody in the media was investigating this possibility.

I died a little inside when I read that because that's the first time I remember him being a homer and not admit that he was being a homer. Damn shame.

I used to respect Belichick and the Patriots until the Cameragate scandal. The arrogant way the team, the players, the fans and basically everyone associated with the Patriots handled this thing totally pissed me off and rubbed me the wrong way. They truly believed they were above everything and everyone else and everything was just jealous of their success and out to get them. Hell, it wouldn´t surprise me if they claimed that the guy filming the Jets coaches wasn´t associated with them and someone just put the guy there to make them look bad. Throw in the "Bill Belichick wouldn´t do that, he´s a genius!" and "That´s not the Patrios way!" crowd and you have the reasons why I wouldn´t mind if the Pats fell flat on their faces on this season. It´s not jealousy - jealousy is the most idiotic argument in sports * - it´s just the arrogant way they and their fans behave.

* As for the jealousy thing ... people need to understand what jealousy is. You can only be jealous of something another person has, but you can´t. You can be jealous of the lifestyle of a pop star, his money, cars, the girls he gets to shag ... things that you want and crave, but can´t have ... but how can you be jealous of a sport team´s success? Is there some sort of test you have to pass before you can become of that team? No, I could go out and proclaim myself a Patriots fan also, nobody could stop me from it, but I won´t because I like my Broncos better even with all the flaws and problems the team has.

[Gort]

I can't argue with any of that.

I'll tell you what. If the Rockies beat the Red Sox, it will be the sweetest victory I've ever been a part of. I felt no acrimony towards the Packers or the Falcons. The Florida Panthers? Bah! The Devils had a few irritating characters, but nothing that kept anyone up at night. The Red Sox, though. I HATE the Red Sox! I hate their fans. I REALLY hate Bill Simmons. When I think of a Rockies win, I get goosebumps thinking about Simmons reaction when the series ends. I hate Manny being Manny. Curt Schilling rubs me the wrong way. David Ortiz is a hard guy to hate, definitely. But he's in the minority.

Go to the Red Sox team board right now and peruse some of the threads. You'll come away with an healthy dose of malevolence.

Red Sox fans = Yankees fans. two sides of the same coin. obnoxious a-holes. and Fenway Park is little more than a port-a-pottie that seats 45K that reeks of stale beer and vomit. what a sh!thole of a stadium.

[-Slap-]

Yankee fans are much more tolerable than Red Sox fans.

From the Huskerh8ter blog.

http://ajthoughts.blogspot.com/

Somebody asked me the other day, “Aside from the Huskers, who else do you hate?”. Obviously, hating Kansas is in my blood, and will always remain. However, those two teams not withstanding, who is tops on my hate list at the moment ...the Boston Red Sox, and most of all...their fans.

The Yankees are easy to hate, because they are arrogant, brash and have more history than any team on earth. The Red Sox fans however, I can paint with one large brush: Whiney douche-bag frat-boy looking dorks, chugging a Sam Adams cherry wheat, ragged hat and faded sweatshirt, screaming and ranting about being an underdog, while their GM spends the gross domestic product of Spain on talent.

If you’re going to be annoying and arrogant pricks, at least have the common courtesy to separate from the rest of us. You are not downtrodden. The Patriots most likely will never lose another game. The Celtics had a dynasty for years. And now, the Red Sox can spend whatever they want, on whoever they want..and unlike the Yankees..have a GM that actually knows what the hell he’s doing.

I have never rooted for a Denver-based team in my life, but I hope the Rockies lay the frickin wood to those whiney, Afflack loving, chowder slurping, Kennedy voting, chalkboard accent having, ****ty stadium dwelling, crappy beer producing, Manny worshiping assholes.

Go Rocks Go

[defenseman]

I like the Sox, frankly. Sure, I'm a Jays fan, but I do like that team. I only know one Pats fan, and I know no Sox fans. I really can't comment. I can, however, assure you that the Sox are not the Yankees.

It's odd. I hate the Pats, I really do...But I want Moss to get a ring. He's my guy, what can I say? So if it isn't the Broncos, and it isn't the Vikings, and it isn't the 49ers to the Buccaneers...Then I might as well root for the Pats to bring home the ring.

NOTE: DON'T MISINTERPRET THIS! I'M SAYING THAT IF THE BRONCOS ARE NOT IN CONTENTION, WHICH THEY STILL COULD BE!

I'm a sox fan. Plenty of sox fans out there. I DO NOT like the Pats though. Celtics? Yep....Bruins?....yep. But, not the Pats. Don't know why, just don't. I'm in the Broncos corner when it comes to football......dman

[Rock Chalk]

Why does he hate Kansas? HuskerH8er seemed like a UT fan, so why would he hate Kansas so much?

KInda off topic but whatever, Im curious.

[defenseman]

Red Sox fans = Yankees fans. two sides of the same coin. obnoxious a-holes. and Fenway Park is little more than a port-a-pottie that seats 45K that reeks of stale beer and vomit. what a sh!thole of a stadium.

Have you been there? I've lost count how many times I've attended sox games at Fenway. Pre-monster seats I might add. Absolutely love it there. Been to Coors field a couple of dozen times, had two seats up on the club level for a while. Beautiful ball park, enjoyed myself there everytime I went. Love the Rockie dogs.....and the garlic fries. Nice stadium. However, if given the option, I'll take Fenway...dman

[defenseman]

Why does he hate Kansas? HuskerH8er seemed like a UT fan, so why would he hate Kansas so much?

KInda off topic but whatever, Im curious.

He's just blowing off a little steam I would guess....dman

[Rock Chalk]

He's just blowing off a little steam I would guess....dman
Umm, I have just been informed that you are a Red Sox fan. You will have to speak to my assisstant as I do not directly converse with you people.

[Evenrude]

Why does he hate Kansas? HuskerH8er seemed like a UT fan, so why would he hate Kansas so much?

KInda off topic but whatever, Im curious.

He's a Mizzou fan... and having him call anyone a douche-bag is rich. He has devoted a good chunk of his life to his hatred of one team, which is really sad and pathetic.... but I digress.

I've always been a Red Sox fan, I like the Rockies cause I generally pull for all the Colorado pro teams, but the Red Sox were in my blood growing up and you don't just change that regardless.

[Rock Chalk]

Mizzou douche bag hates KU.

Tell you what, that end of the year matchup in teh Big 12 north is looking mighty good. KU and Mizzou.

Both being greater than Nebraska (:poke: Evenrude)

[defenseman]

Umm, I have just been informed that you are a Red Sox fan. You will have to speak to my assisstant as I do not directly converse with you people.

Don't bother, the "gauntlet" has been thrown down:giggle: . Have your assistant meet my assistant in alley, we'll solve this like men...:thumbsup: :rofl: ...dman

[Jens1893]

Mizzou douche bag hates KU.

Tell you what, that end of the year matchup in teh Big 12 north is looking mighty good. KU and Mizzou.

Both being greater than Nebraska (:poke: Evenrude)

When did you find out KU has a football team?

[Evenrude]

Mizzou douche bag hates KU.

Tell you what, that end of the year matchup in teh Big 12 north is looking mighty good. KU and Mizzou.

Both being greater than Nebraska (:poke: Evenrude)

Hehe... not gonna get me with that one. I may be one of the worlds biggest homers, but even I know when it's a lost season. (not to threadjack, but I wll be pulling for KU on that one)

How cool is that gonna be on Mon., Oct. 29. Monday Night football with Brett Favre and game 5 of the World series a couple miles apart. Denver will be the center of the sports universe that night. :thumbs:

[Jens1893]

And KU just might regret giving up its homefield advantage for the Mizzou game and moving that game to Arrowhead.

[Rock Chalk]

When did you find out KU has a football team?

Well everyone assumes Im a KU football fan since I watch college BB. That and my whole freakin family wont stop talking Jayhawk football so Ive by default, had to pay attention.

All I know is I have never seen KU ranked ahead of USC in football. I dont know if KU is really as good as advertised, but I do know that they are playing pretty good football.

Dont get me wrong, Im not necessarily a "fan" per se, but am a big 12 football "fan" in as much as I dont really watch but half assed cheer for the conference in bowl games.

I will say I have watched more college football this year than like the last 5 years combined.

[Rock Chalk]

Hehe... not gonna get me with that one. I may be one of the worlds biggest homers, but even I know when it's a lost season. (not to threadjack, but I wll be pulling for KU on that one)

How cool is that gonna be on Mon., Oct. 29. Monday Night football with Brett Favre and game 5 of the World series a couple miles apart. Denver will be the center of the sports universe that night. :thumbs:

You are assuming that the Rockies dont get swept of course....

[bronco militia]

hey Boston Fan

you are no different than New York fan

signed,

America

[Billy Clyde Puckett]

Boston is just a suburb of New York anyway, isn't it? ;D

[chadta]

You are assuming that the Rockies dont sweep of course....

there i fixed it for ya :thumbs:

[Popps]

7. If you put a five into a jukebox at any sports bar, you must play “Satellite” by the Dave Matthews Band at least once.

LMAO!

[Rohirrim]

Hilarious! :thumbsup: Jens :rofl:

[Rock Chalk]

there i fixed it for ya :thumbs:

I want to swat my screen every time you post.

[sonsofkraftybob]

You just said they had a farm system the best you've ever seen and a perfect balance. Isn't that a tad bit on the personal opinion side? Do you really, really believe that assertion? Isn't that a bit egotistical? Isn't that a bit arrogant?

You have just confirmed the correctness of the OP.....

By far and away the best Farm System.

Hanley Ramirez was traded away for Beckette and lowell

Papelbon speaks for itself

Lester is a decent left handed starter.

Pedroia is Rookie of the year.

Bucholz threw a no-hitter in his second game.

Ellsbury is the center fielder of the future as a 5 tool player.

[TerrElway]

"Raped with a hammer"? Wow.

Shared a cab with a couple of Pats fans back in '97 after Elway and the Broncs crushed the Pats at Mile High on a Monday night. Both teams were 6-0 but the Broncos (en route to their first SB victory, totally destroyed them). I sat by the guys on the bus from Mile High back downtown, they were staying at the same hotel as I was so when we got back downtown we all shared a cab. They were decent dudes and left me with a good impression of Pats fans.

That was 10 years and no SB wins ago. Now all he Pats fans I meet are insufferable. Too bad.

I'm tellin' ya, the Pats won't win it this year. They will have this unreal season and then Pay-me-a-ton will beat them in the playoffs shocking the world. This will happen after the Sox lose the WS and a few months BEFORE the Celts underachieve. By next June, Pats/Sox/Celts fans will be a collective bitter, finger-pointing, whining and moaning mess.

[epicSocialism4tw]

I'm tellin' ya, the Pats won't win it this year. They will have this unreal season and then Pay-me-a-ton will beat them in the playoffs shocking the world. This will happen after the Sox lose the WS and a few months BEFORE the Celts underachieve. By next June, Pats/Sox/Celts fans will be a collective bitter, finger-pointing, whining and moaning mess.

Funny stuff.

The Celtics are set up for failure because their fans wont accept anything but a championship this season. Winning a championship isn't as easy as advertised. Ask Steve Nash and the Suns about that. That team is loaded and hasnt even sniffed the finals yet. The Celtics are loaded this season as well, but we havent seen a minute of ball. Both Ray Allen and Garnett are old, and Allen has been succeptible to injury for awhile.

Anyway, I'll try to remember your predictions. They sound quite prophetic to me. ;D

[shakenbake]

I can't stand the whole "I waited my whole life to see the sox win a world series" meanwhile the dude is 18. Don't give me that crap. I have respect for the older fans who have stuck around for 50-60 years and finally got to see their team win one. Just don't give me that crap that you waited forever when you are 12.

[BMF Bronco]

That is pure comedy. I unfortunately have to work across the hall from one of said douchebaggerists and the dude who wrote this is right on the money. "We deserve it becasue we have sucked for so long!" Fugoff jackass!

[Drek]

I can't stand the whole "I waited my whole life to see the sox win a world series" meanwhile the dude is 18. Don't give me that crap. I have respect for the older fans who have stuck around for 50-60 years and finally got to see their team win one. Just don't give me that crap that you waited forever when you are 12.

Depends on where you come from as a fan.

I'm 25, when the Sox won the WS a few years ago it was the biggest sports event in my life, including the Broncos winning back to back Super Bowls and I basically crawled out of the womb a Broncos fan.

I've spent a summer earning peanuts as a score keeper for Red Sox minor league affiliates, I've done the triple header of any true Red Sox fan (Sea Dogs, Paw Sox, and Red Sox all in one weekend), and I do my damnedest to get to Fenway every year despite the insane prices they now rape us with. I've spent almost every summer of my life (until moving to the midwest a little over a year ago) seeing 95% of the every minute of the Red Sox season. Its as much a part of who I am as being from Maine or being raised by two kick ass good parents.

The Red Sox have some of the greatest fans in all of sports. In fact, New England as a whole, in my opinion, can make a strong claim to having the best core of sports fans in all the world. The only problem is that there's a real thick layer of bandwagon jackassery smeared over the top of it.

People get a jaded perception of New England sports fans now because they see the post-championship bandwagoners. These same guys and girls who now call themselves die hard fans or members of "Red Sox Nation" (I'm looking at you Jimmy Fallon, Ben Affleck, and Dennis Leary) were the same frat boy jackasses running their mouths in the bar back in '03, '86, whenever, that the Sox were a bunch of bums who'd never amount to anything. Those aren't New England sports fans, they're the jackasses who make up the majority of the Massachusetts/Connecticut populous, a bunch of bandwagoner b****es.

These people can't separate the fact that being an '04 underdog/feel good story doesn't mean everyone is on your side all the time and that you're perpetually entitled. Why? Because they feel perpetually entitled most every day of their lives, like 80% of this jackass country.

You don't spot a real Red Sox fan by how much memorabilia he wears or how many lines he can quote from Fever Pitch. You can spot a real Red Sox fan because he's willing to argue the pros and cons of Freddy Lynn v. Dwight Evans, Jim Rice HoF snubbing, tell you stories, either first or second hand, of 1967 and the impossible dream, or about seeing Pedro in his prime as the greatest pitcher of the modern era. They're baseball fans first, Red Sox fans a very close second.

All the rest are just a bunch of people along for the ride. We only tolerate them because their money keeps the machine thriving, though it is getting progressively harder to ignore them at the park.

The number of people who're true Pats fans though is pretty damn slim. They damn near relocated a few years back but thats all ignored now because a horde of bandwagoners have jumped on. When they lose Brady and Belicheck it'll be back to the gutter for them and all the fanks (new term I'm coining, fan + fake, bonus that it kinda sounds like wank) will slink back into their holes or cheer on whatever new team is winning a lot. New England is a baseball market first, basketball second, hockey third, and football a distant fourth (fifth if you count being an competitive drinking a sport). The championships won't change that, just mask it for a few years.

[Paladin]

I'm a lifelong Tribe fan, so I'm not well right now but there is something about the Boston sports fan that rubs me the wrong way.

They rub you?


Hilarious!

[Paladin]

He's a Mizzou fan... and having him call anyone a douche-bag is rich. He has devoted a good chunk of his life to his hatred of one team, which is really sad and pathetic.... but I digress.

I've always been a Red Sox fan, I like the Rockies cause I generally pull for all the Colorado pro teams, but the Red Sox were in my blood growing up and you don't just change that regardless.

Get a blood transfusion. Maybe that would help save your life someday. You could even have friends.....

[OrangeShadow]

By far and away the best Farm System.

Hanley Ramirez was traded away for Beckette and lowell

Papelbon speaks for itself

Lester is a decent left handed starter.

Pedroia is Rookie of the year.

Bucholz threw a no-hitter in his second game.

Ellsbury is the center fielder of the future as a 5 tool player.

you forgot youkilis.

[elsid13]

I can't stand the whole "I waited my whole life to see the sox win a world series" meanwhile the dude is 18. Don't give me that crap. I have respect for the older fans who have stuck around for 50-60 years and finally got to see their team win one. Just don't give me that crap that you waited forever when you are 12.

You are missing the whole intergenerational factor at play. I remember sitting on porch in the summer with my grandfather listen to the games on radio and the disappointment that seem to happen ever year. He passed before they won and I still wish that he was alive to see them do it. That happened a lot in NE, sons and grandsons who grew to love the team because of their fathers and grandfathers and wished some of elder generation was around to see the futility end.

Are there bandwagon fans, yep but I remember is a lot Denver Broncos gear after thier superbowls wins too.

[Paladin]

Wow! Fank, Wank and Skank could make a limerick, I'd bet.

[elsid13]

you forgot youkilis.

and MDK

[Paladin]

Golly, gee whiz. That's a lot from the farm, right?

Perhaps you ought to look at the Rockies' lineup and figure out how many of them came from the farm system.

Tulo is ROY and he's from the farm. We got Holliday, Atkins, Tulo, Helton from the farm. Cook, Francis, Morales and Jeminez from the farm system, and there are others as well. Last I looked, the Rockies are also in the WS, and since previous stats and records don't count, they are the equal of the list you put up as "proof" of the "superior" farm system for the Sawks.

Every bit as good as players.....

This pi$$ing contest is predicated on the egotistical sense of "entitlement" of the fans of the chausettes rouges. Not on the basis of anything approaching objective logic.

[OrangeShadow]

I never said the rockies werent a good team. They didnt win 90 games by accident. I just think this article is more accurate if used to refer to the bandwagon fans that just like the sox because its popular.

[Paladin]

I was responding to Kraftybob. He asserts that the Sawks have "by far and away the best Farm system..." He then asserts that a number of players - whom he apparently holds in high esteem - as products of said system which "proves" the asserted superiority. I merely called BS and pointed out that a number of good players came from the Rockies' farm system as well. But I shall refrain from expressing an opinion that the Rockies have the best Farm system going in MLB.

Firstly it isn't true, and secondly, I think there is a team other than the Sawks that has a better farm system at this point: Dodgers, unfortunately. The Snakes and the Rockies are not far behind, and the Yankees will have a system for a long number of years. The Braves have had great success with their system over the years, and the Astros have had good players come up from their system as well.

By far and away, huh? I call BS.

[epicSocialism4tw]

Rockies fans should show up clad in orange and blue.

This would smack Red Sox fans in the face even harder when they lose the series when they realized that football fans in a football town are enjoying the championship.

[Drek]

I was responding to Kraftybob. He asserts that the Sawks have "by far and away the best Farm system..." He then asserts that a number of players - whom he apparently holds in high esteem - as products of said system which "proves" the asserted superiority. I merely called BS and pointed out that a number of good players came from the Rockies' farm system as well. But I shall refrain from expressing an opinion that the Rockies have the best Farm system going in MLB.

Firstly it isn't true, and secondly, I think there is a team other than the Sawks that has a better farm system at this point: Dodgers, unfortunately. The Snakes and the Rockies are not far behind, and the Yankees will have a system for a long number of years. The Braves have had great success with their system over the years, and the Astros have had good players come up from their system as well.

By far and away, huh? I call BS.
I'd take the Angels farm system over pretty much anyone else today. So many talented players at so many different positions.

Dodgers farm is pretty solid but its lost some value over the last year and a half or so due to some mediocre MLB stints for big names and unimpressive pitching development. Still easily top shelf, but they've hurt the value of guys like LaRoche (if you ask me by simply not playing him, stupid Grady).

Most Red Sox fans don't even know what a good farm system is. Hell, most baseball fans in general don't because they just don't watch much minor league ball. Red Sox fans though have even less of a clue because the organization had almost no commitment to the farm other than a source of trade fodder prior to the new regime. Now that they put some effort in and are seeing dividends its getting way more press and hype than is really deserved.

The Yankees have a similar situation now as well. The New York media acts as though their farm is stacked when it consists of basically Hughes, Chamberlain, and Kennedy, all of whom have gotten the call up this year. There isn't much solid MLB caliber talent in the second tier there.

Meanwhile the Dodgers, Angels, Tigers, etc. have very good farm systems turning out major leaguers an on annual basis. Arizona had easily the best farm until they called damn near half of it up this season, which paid immediate dividends.

The new Red Sox ownership and management deserve praise for committing to player development and orchestrating one of the quickest turnarounds in farm history, but that just gets them in the top 10, not the top 5. Those spots are still reserved for the organizations that have longer term commitments and more organizational depth.

Jacoby Ellsbury and Clay Buchholz are hands down the two best prospects in the Red Sox organization, without a whole lot at any high level to follow that up. The Tigers' Cameron Maybin ranks well above Ellsbury as a prospect (even with Ellsbury's hot call up) and the Tigers might not have a single pitcher on Buchholz' level (they did, but they called them all up in the past year and a half) but they've got organizational pitching depth that goes on for miles. They don't even compare to the raw talent within the Angels and Dodgers organizations. Those are teams with multiple legitimate A prospects, not a handful of B to B+ getting the media attention of an A+.

[Paladin]

You are right. I had read the Angels had a great system, but I have not seen any of them play, and I don't get Angels' baseball here.

The old "Far and Away" team has a payroll of something around 150 millions of dollars. That speaks more to FAs. Case in point: J.D. Drew is drawing 8.5 mil this year playing RF for the Sawks. Brad Hawpe gets $400.000 this year and is showing equal if not better productivity. That is a FA contract (Drew) against a Farm hand. Hawpe will make more pretty soon, no doubt, but I think the point is made.

Far and Away. I call BS

[Hogan11]

Try talking that long time suffering fan jazz to a Cubs fan and see the reaction you get.

[epicSocialism4tw]

Try talking that long time suffering fan jazz to a Cubs fan and see the reaction you get.

The Boston fans are like the long-time loser little brothers of the Yankees.

[lex]

Try talking that long time suffering fan jazz to a Cubs fan and see the reaction you get.

I would be one of them. As a matter of fact, I live about a mile from Wrigley. Actually Cubs fans and Red Sox fans get along ok. Its the going a long time without winning (ie poor owners) and its also that in Fenway and Wrigley, the Cubs and Red Sox fans kind of identify with each other...not completely but to some extent. But more recently E!SPN makes it easy to dislike the Red Sox.

[Hogan11]

I would be one of them. As a matter of fact, I live about a mile from Wrigley. Actually Cubs fans get along ok. Its the going a long time without winning (ie poor owners) and its also that in Fenway and Wrigley, the Cubs and Red Sox fans kind of identify with each other...not completely but to some extent. But more recently E!SPN makes it easy to dislike the Red Sox.

ESPN makes it easy to dislike anything they promote (cram down the public's collective throats)

[lex]

ESPN makes it easy to dislike anything they promote (cram down the public's collective throats)


Honestly, its not just E!SPN. What soured me a little towards Boston was the television scheduling of the playoff games. I want the Rockies to win just from the standpoint that the Cubs games started at 10 pm when they played in Arizona while every night, it was either the Yankees or Red Sox on around 7 oclock. **** the Yankees and Red Sox! And then the fact that E!SPN is really a regional network that is trying to pretend to be a national network only adds to it.

[Drek]

You are right. I had read the Angels had a great system, but I have not seen any of them play, and I don't get Angels' baseball here.

The old "Far and Away" team has a payroll of something around 150 millions of dollars. That speaks more to FAs. Case in point: J.D. Drew is drawing 8.5 mil this year playing RF for the Sawks. Brad Hawpe gets $400.000 this year and is showing equal if not better productivity. That is a FA contract (Drew) against a Farm hand. Hawpe will make more pretty soon, no doubt, but I think the point is made.

Far and Away. I call BS
Drew actually makes $14M (4 years, $56M with a 5th year that vests with a fairly low number of games played). Ha!

But then comparatively the Rockies have a 2B that is making serious bank in Kaz Matsui (though subsidized) while Pedroia makes all of about $250K (rookie).

Colorado has found themselves at an opportune convergence of veterans and rookies that really pays off. In a year or two they'll either have to hand out some big contracts and see that payroll double (if not more) or watch the heart of this team leave via FA.

This is the difference money makes in baseball. The Yankees have tried buying championships by fielding $200M all-star teams the last few years. That doesn't work. Single seasons have too much volatility and the playoffs are a total crap shoot because you're condensing 162 game performances into a best of 7 (or 5 in the DS) format. By ratio of regular season v. playoff wins to advance that's the equivalent of the NFL playing 3/4ths of a game to decide who advances.

Teams should use money to make themselves competitive long term, and that is what the Red Sox do. They signed Drew and Lugo to fill organizational gaps with no prospects immediately present to take over. Meanwhile they have a ton of good young pitchers on the farm who'll explode onto the scene over the next two or three years, giving them potentially the best 5 man rotation in baseball for less money than Alex Rodriguez alone makes in a single season.

Makes perfect sense too. Pitching is baseball's most expensive commodity. You can't buy a good staff when a good pitcher costs as much as an all-star fielder, and the all-star pitchers cost more than everyone else. So they're developing it internally. Thats big market money ball done right.

[Crowpointer]

Depends on where you come from as a fan.

I'm 25, when the Sox won the WS a few years ago it was the biggest sports event in my life, including the Broncos winning back to back Super Bowls and I basically crawled out of the womb a Broncos fan.

I've spent a summer earning peanuts as a score keeper for Red Sox minor league affiliates, I've done the triple header of any true Red Sox fan (Sea Dogs, Paw Sox, and Red Sox all in one weekend), and I do my damnedest to get to Fenway every year despite the insane prices they now rape us with. I've spent almost every summer of my life (until moving to the midwest a little over a year ago) seeing 95% of the every minute of the Red Sox season. Its as much a part of who I am as being from Maine or being raised by two kick ass good parents.

The Red Sox have some of the greatest fans in all of sports. In fact, New England as a whole, in my opinion, can make a strong claim to having the best core of sports fans in all the world. The only problem is that there's a real thick layer of bandwagon jackassery smeared over the top of it.

People get a jaded perception of New England sports fans now because they see the post-championship bandwagoners. These same guys and girls who now call themselves die hard fans or members of "Red Sox Nation" (I'm looking at you Jimmy Fallon, Ben Affleck, and Dennis Leary) were the same frat boy jackasses running their mouths in the bar back in '03, '86, whenever, that the Sox were a bunch of bums who'd never amount to anything. Those aren't New England sports fans, they're the jackasses who make up the majority of the Massachusetts/Connecticut populous, a bunch of bandwagoner b****es.

These people can't separate the fact that being an '04 underdog/feel good story doesn't mean everyone is on your side all the time and that you're perpetually entitled. Why? Because they feel perpetually entitled most every day of their lives, like 80% of this jackass country.

You don't spot a real Red Sox fan by how much memorabilia he wears or how many lines he can quote from Fever Pitch. You can spot a real Red Sox fan because he's willing to argue the pros and cons of Freddy Lynn v. Dwight Evans, Jim Rice HoF snubbing, tell you stories, either first or second hand, of 1967 and the impossible dream, or about seeing Pedro in his prime as the greatest pitcher of the modern era. They're baseball fans first, Red Sox fans a very close second.

All the rest are just a bunch of people along for the ride. We only tolerate them because their money keeps the machine thriving, though it is getting progressively harder to ignore them at the park.

The number of people who're true Pats fans though is pretty damn slim. They damn near relocated a few years back but thats all ignored now because a horde of bandwagoners have jumped on. When they lose Brady and Belicheck it'll be back to the gutter for them and all the fanks (new term I'm coining, fan + fake, bonus that it kinda sounds like wank) will slink back into their holes or cheer on whatever new team is winning a lot. New England is a baseball market first, basketball second, hockey third, and football a distant fourth (fifth if you count being an competitive drinking a sport). The championships won't change that, just mask it for a few years.

Geez I get back from Miami and the Pats Dolphins game and I have to read this dribble. I usually enjoy reading your posts and I actually liked this one until you attacked Massachusetts. Then I reread your post and found that you actually never even mentioned the word BOSTON (thats what the B on the hat stands for) If you don't like the commonwealth feel free to keep away. BTW people argued between Lynn and Rice not Evans(they were the gold dust twins) Jimmy Fallon is an actor who played a Red Sox fan he actually grew up in NY as a Yankees fan. The Patriots and the Red Sox are 1 and 1a in Boston and that will never change as long as the Kraft family owns the team. I have Pats seasons tickets since 91 which means I sat on a cold bench for 1-15 and 2-14 for 2 of my 3 first seasons and I have forgotten more about the team than you will ever know. Also it is spelled Belichick.

[Drek]

Geez I get back from Miami and the Pats Dolphins game and I have to read this dribble. I usually enjoy reading your posts and I actually liked this one until you attacked Massachusetts. Then I reread your post and found that you actually never even mentioned the word BOSTON (thats what the B on the hat stands for) If you don't like the commonwealth feel free to keep away. BTW people argued between Lynn and Rice not Evans(they were the gold dust twins) Jimmy Fallon is an actor who played a Red Sox fan he actually grew up in NY as a Yankees fan. The Patriots and the Red Sox are 1 and 1a in Boston and that will never change as long as the Kraft family owns the team. I have Pats seasons tickets since 91 which means I sat on a cold bench for 1-15 and 2-14 for 2 of my 3 first seasons and I have forgotten more about the team than you will ever know. Also it is spelled Belichick.

No, its not an argument between the gold dust twins, thats akin to comparing Manny and Damon, totally different skillsets. Evans and Lynn were both exceptional fielders and very good hitters. Personally I've argued for a while that Evans gets left out of the equation because everyone underestimates just how hard it is to play RF in Fenway. Lynn has a damn school named after him while Evans played 18 years in Boston (to Lynn's 6) and was year in and year out one of the best RF in all of baseball.

And my problem with Fallon is that he is exactly the type of bandwagoner I was talking about. He had no problems jumping on the '04 interview circuit when we won because of his stupid movie and talking about the Red Sox and their fan group. Its fake, but then so is bandwagoning in general. He and Ben Monsterchin are the same in that they're celebrities who used some type of Red Sox association to build their own PR. I'm not sure if I dislike them more or less than the Dennis Leary fans, guys who don't cheer for any other team but are right there doom and glooming with every loss.

Also, I didn't say real Pats fans don't exist in New England. My uncle happens to be one, as die hard as they get. They were just a hell of a lot more scarce pre-SB. Congrats on being one of the die hards though, you get the reap the rewards of already having season tickets while everyone else b****es and moans about how hard it is to get good seats. But I can tell already by how defensively you reacted that you are fully aware of all the bandwagoners who've become Pats fans over the last few years. Its similar to what's happened with the Red Sox, though with a bigger core fanbase to start, and its going to happen with the Celtics all over again as well.

In the mid-80's the C's were what the Pats are now though, and they had a hell of a lot more regional history. That didn't stop the fanbase from dwindling when they fell in the crapper. The same will happen to the Pats if the next regime doesn't hold serve.

For what it's worth though I don't think that'll happen. Kraft is a great owner and organizations are representations of their owners. He's committed to putting a winning team on the field and so he's executed an impressive turnaround for an organization that at one point damn near moved to Hartford or other sights unknown.

Thats my point though, prior to the current ownership the Pats were a second class citizen in the NE sports-scape. They've changed that with recent titles, but its not guaranteed to stay unless they keep winning. Only the Red Sox get that luxury, and that's suspect as the team hasn't really gone in the cellar for a prolonged stretch for quite a while.

As for Boston and the commonwealth in general, believe me, I've got no grudge there. What issues I did have (horrible road layout and way too many suburbanite soccer moms in SUVs) pale in comparison to living in the brown star of the U.S. that is the mid-west. As soon as I finish my J.D. its back to the northeast or over the Rockies for me.

[Dedhed]

This world series brings up a lot of odd feelings for me. I was born in CO, grew up in Vermont. I had enough family ties to make me a Broncos fan from day one. When the Avs moved in from Quebec I was on board, and although I pay as little attention to basketball as I can, I pull for the Nuggets. I'm a CO fan across the board, except when it comes to baseball. I tried to muster some cozy feelings for the Rockies in the beginning, but it just never happened.

I was a Braves fan growing up, we had TBS not NESN, and for some reason I liked Ozzie Virgil.

I became a Red Sox fan in 2002 when I moved to New York for a spell. If you want to talk about pure unadulterated arrogance, the Yankees simply cannot be topped, and I was compelled to root for any team the Yankees hated. I'm still as much a Yankee hater as I am a Sox fan.

I would have to argue against the depiction of Sox fans above, although I think the Pats fans are aptly portrayed. The difference is that Sox fans have always been there. Through the dumper years of the curse, the fans were always there. Now that the curse has ended, if you ask a fan about the Sox, you still hear more about how they will find a way to blow things than you will about how infallible they are. The Sox fans are still more surprised at the team's success than they are bragadocious. Unlike the Yankee fans who will tell you all about how this year's Yankee team was the best in baseball, obviously, despite squeeking into the playoffs and winning only one game before going home.

Of course there has been an onslaught of fair weather turds since 2004, but every championship team has that (there were a lot more Broncos hats sold in '98 than in '96). But you can't judge a fan base on that.

The Pats fan base on the other hand is made up almost entirely of fair weather newbies who think that Belicheat is God, and Tom Brady dumps golden nuggets. They have none of the self deprecating attitude that Sox fans have because they have no sense of history. They think the Pats came to town in 2002, and that Brady is the only QB ever to play in that town. They'll do their best Yankee fan impression and detail why the Pats were the best in the NFL the last two years despite not even making the big game.

In short, Pats fans are Yankees fans, but if you can't respect the majority of Sox fans who ate $h!t for the better part of a century and stuck by their team through all of it then we have a different idea on the spirit of sport.