Bad experience with Hixon

[Dr. Broncenstein]

I spotted Hixon... which was easy because of his illuminecent glow of awesomeness. Anyway, I approached him hoping to get an autograph. Some kid beat me to it, as apparently there was a line of sorts. What I didn't realize -- the line was a bunch of first sons that were being sacrificed to Hixon. He was literally devouring them one by one. It was scary. What a jerk... he didn't offer to eat my first born because she's not a dude.

[Northman]

That happened to you too? I had it worse though. I was able to give Hixon my little piece of paper and he was tossing it back to me when it was intercepted by Plummer. I was so bummed after that. :(

[scorpio]

Hixon wrote his name in 6-foot letters across my front lawn.

[Kaylore]

I asked Hixon to give me a thousand dollars. He has eleventy billion dollars so it's not like it's a lot of money. He told me I should earn my money the normal way like everyone else. I told him I don't care what other people have to do, and that I want a thousand dollars! Jerk. Then he clubbed me upside the head with Chuck Norris juggling a Tedy Bruschi.

[Garcia Bronco]

Hixon was at my cousins math class the other ...he was dividing by zero....it was crazy.

[Kaylore]

Hixon can write pie on a single sheet of paper - and not go into the margin.

[vancejohnson82]

Hixon branded his name on my back....using only his mind

[Jason in LA]

Hixon can create nuclear energy in his teeth. That's why naked Bronco cheerlearders line up outside of his door.

[Spider]

Hixon can write pie on a single sheet of paper - and not go into the margin.

Apple , Blueberry , coconut creme , cherry , lemon meringue , sweet potato....

[Dr. Broncenstein]

Apple , Blueberry , coconut creme , cherry , lemon meringue , sweet potato....

No jakin me seriouz trheadz

[brncs_fan]

Hixon can create nuclear energy in his teeth. That's why naked Bronco cheerlearders line up outside of his door.

:worthless

[atomicbloke]

Wow people sure have a lot of time on their hands. Wish I had time to post endlessly on message boards. Instead I am stuck making shoes in Taiwan.

[CBF1]

Wow people sure have a lot of time on their hands. Wish I had time to post endlessly on message boards. Instead I am stuck making shoes in Taiwan.

How can someone afford a computer when they work in a sweat shop?

[Taco John]

Wow people sure have a lot of time on their hands. Wish I had time to post endlessly on message boards. Instead I am stuck making shoes in Taiwan.



Hixon grows alligators into the shape of shoes.

[Los Broncos]

Hixon can dance under water and not get wet.

[Flex Gunmetal]

Hixon once breast-fed a flamingo back to health.

[Flex Gunmetal]

Hixon drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

[Flex Gunmetal]

Did I ever tell you about the time Hixon was in a production of, 'The King & I?' On opening night, Hixon chloroforms the entire cast and slowly eats them in front of the audience for two hours. The production got pretty good reviews.

[Garcia Bronco]

Hixon is the reason there is only one moon. The second siad some **** he didn't like.

[scorpio]

.

[Garcia Bronco]

http://www.exitplayers.com/images/blumberg/bill-lumberg.gif

Hixon doesn't come in on Saturday......he doesn't come in on Sunday either.

[Paladin]

He comes when he needs to.......

[freak6]

Knowing full well how fear inducing his aura is, Hixon thought it'd be nice to use Halloween to soften his image, so he decided on going as Osama Bin Laden. Seeking the best, he went to Pakistan to get an authentic one of a kind!

[ZONA]

Hi - I'm Tomhttp://photos.signonsandiego.com/gallery1.5/albums/050918broncos/KCchargers238497x646.jpg

[theAPAOps5]

Hixon knows where Mock is.....

[Spider]

I am not buying all this hixon hype

[scorpio]

I am not buying all this hixon hype

You don't have to believe in Hixon.

But He believes in you.

[Arkansas Bronco]

I am not buying all this hixon hype

Me either till I can see what he is all about. Most of all my Hixon comments are pretty sarcastic but its all for good fun while we have to kill off the off-season.

[Kaylore]

I am not buying all this hixon hype

That is why you fail.

[Stormontheplains]

Hixon is a god, he told me that although my family walks through the valley, of the shadow of bad autograph experiences, if I believe in him, we shall see the light, and therefore the glory of him!

[bendog]

Kids complained the line wasn't moving fast enough, so Hixon burned his autograph onto each of their foreheads ... using his pee.

[Garcia Bronco]

You know why Doc Brown decided to use the Delorian? Because Hixon told him to use it. That crazy Hixon.

[Killericon]

During 96-98, the guy in the Elway jersey was really Hixon in disguise. Then, afterwards, he brainwashed John to convince him that it was he who won the Superbowls.

[theAPAOps5]

Hixon is a god, he told me that although my family walks through the valley, of the shadow of bad autograph experiences, if I believe in him, we shall see the light, and therefore the glory of him!

Hixon told Cutler to make kids get in line for autographs. He was just following orders.

[vancejohnson82]

BREAKING HIXON NEWS

In hindsight, jumping in front of an oncoming subway train may not have been the smartest move Domenik Hixon has ever made.

"It's all hitting me now," Hixon said Wednesday, a day after he saved the life of a young man who had fallen down onto the tracks by pushing him into a gap between the rails. "I'm looking, and these trains are coming in now. ... Wow, you did something pretty stupid."

But even knowing that he had a narrow escape from injury or death, the young, Denver WR doesn't regret his choice.

"I did something to save someone's life," the Broncos' standout said.

Hixon was lauded Wednesday for his quick thinking and even quicker reflexes. Waiting for a downtown train on Tuesday, he saw Cameron Hollopeter, a 19-year-old film student, suffering from some kind of medical problem. After stumbling down the platform, Hollopeter, of Littleton, Mass., fell onto the tracks with a train on its way into the station.

Hixon, possessing super-powers knew he had to do something.

He jumped down to the tracks and rolled with the young man into the trough between the rails as a southbound No. 1 train came into the station.

The trough, used for drainage, is typically about 12 inches deep but can be as shallow as 8 or as deep as 24.

The train's operator saw someone on the tracks and put the emergency brakes on. Before the train came to a stop, two cars passed over the men -- with about 2 inches to spare, Hixon said.

Hollopeter's stepmother, Rachel Hollopeter, said Hixon was "an angel."

"He was so heroic," she said in a telephone interview. "If he wasn't there, this would be a whole different call."

Donald Trump agreed and on Thursday he presented Hixon with $10,000 for his selfless act of bravery.

Hixon stopped by the hospital Wednesday afternoon for a visit with Hollopeter and his family. Afterward, he and Hollopeter's father addressed reporters.

"Mr. Hixon's instinctive and unselfish act saved our son's life," Larry Hollopeter said, his voice choking up. "There are no words to properly express our gratitude and feelings for his actions."

The unusual rescue brought the media horde to Hixon, who spent the day doing interviews. He planned to make the rounds of the morning television shows on Thursday, tape an appearance on David Letterman's "Late Show" and visit City Hall to be honored by the mayor.

Hixon's mother was beaming Wednesday.

"It was dangerous, what he done, but I'm proud of him that God had him in the right place at the right time so he could help somebody," Mary Hixon said. "That's our upbringing, helping people."


By Deepti Hajela, Associated Press Writer

[SureShot]

Hixon can lift Sam Adams over his head........with his penis.

[theAPAOps5]

Hixon once farted, and Bad Lands National Park was created.

[RkyMtnThunder]

My wife has informed me she wants to carry Hixon's baby.

I dont know whether to be sad about that, me not fitting her desired DNA bill anymore....


Or thrilled at the idea of having a Hixon Jr. raised in my household!!!!



I think I am leaning towards thrilled!!!! Hixon Jr wont need potty training and would likely sign a fat endorsement contract before he is 5 years old! We would easily be the envy of the neighborhood and folks will be lining up at the door for just a glimpse of his greatness!

[Garcia Bronco]

Hixon is the Alpha

[Garcia Bronco]

Hixon is also the Omega

[vancejohnson82]

if Hixon is a super-hero...who is his arch nemesis????

[RkyMtnThunder]

if Hixon is a super-hero...who is his arch nemesis????

No one dares oppose Hixon. All friends or foes bow down with equal reverence, fear and bewilderment!

[scorpio]

The wrath of Hixon is like great waters that are dammed for the present; they increase more and more, and rise higher and higher, till an outlet is given; and the longer the stream is stopped, the more rapid and mighty is its course, when once it is let loose.

It is true, that judgment against your evil works has not been executed hitherto; the floods of Hixon's vengeance have been withheld; but your guilt in the mean time is constantly increasing, and you are every day treasuring up more wrath; the waters are constantly rising, and waxing more and more mighty; and there is nothing but the mere pleasure of Hixon, that holds the waters back, that are unwilling to be stopped, and press hard to go forward.

If Hixon should only withdraw his hand from the flood-gate, it would immediately fly open, and the fiery floods of the fierceness and wrath of Hixon, would rush forth with inconceivable fury, and would come upon you with omnipotent power; and if your strength were ten thousand times greater than it is, yea, ten thousand times greater than the strength of the stoutest, sturdiest devil in hell, it would be nothing to withstand or endure it.

[Jason in LA]

My wife has informed me she wants to carry Hixon's baby.

I dont know whether to be sad about that, me not fitting her desired DNA bill anymore....


Or thrilled at the idea of having a Hixon Jr. raised in my household!!!!



I think I am leaning towards thrilled!!!! Hixon Jr wont need potty training and would likely sign a fat endorsement contract before he is 5 years old! We would easily be the envy of the neighborhood and folks will be lining up at the door for just a glimpse of his greatness!


I can already see the family photo.

http://www.whitescarver.com/erinjeff/Owned/owned-baby.jpg

;D

[Killericon]

if Hixon is a super-hero...who is his arch nemesis????

God.

[RkyMtnThunder]

I can already see the family photo.

http://www.whitescarver.com/erinjeff/Owned/owned-baby.jpg

;D

LOL



Hey, having baby Hixon around the house would be like the 2nd coming of.....well...Hixon (who did ya think I was talking about?!)

It would be totally worth it!

[Hotrod]

I am not buying all this hixon hype

Freaking democrat

[freak6]

if Hixon is a super-hero...who is his arch nemesis????

lmao @ U

I'll do a thousand Hail Elways to my Cutler Alter so that his demi-god/assasin Hixon doesn't make you his arch "nemesis".

[broncocalijohn]

That happened to you too? I had it worse though. I was able to give Hixon my little piece of paper and he was tossing it back to me when it was intercepted by Plummer. I was so bummed after that. :(


I gave Hixon a piece of paper for an autograph and he turned it back into a tree, leaves and all! He told me he signed it at the top of the 40 footer , just climb my a$$ up there to see it. He seemed like a little meanie.

[elsid13]

I am not buying all this hixon hype

Looks like we have to have are own Spanish Inquisition for non-Hixon Believers on the mane. Were are my pliers and tongs??? And some one heat up the fire pits. We go us non-believers



http://people.csail.mit.edu/paulfitz/spanish/tt3.jpg

[Kaylore]

Don't vote your conscience; Vote Hixon.

[Atlas]

I am not buying all this hixon hype

Than there is just no saving you. You are a dead man.

[Popcorn Sutton]

Domenik... if you are there... please talk to me.

[Dr. Broncenstein]

Jeffrey Dahlmer killed and ate 17 young males over the course of his infamous killing spree...

Hixon calls this "a slow Tuesday."

[Popcorn Sutton]

I think I heard him talk to me... He said I must wage holy war against the Raiders.... he also mumbled something about judgement day and 40 virgins.

[Dr. Broncenstein]

In metric units, light speed is exactly 299,792,458 metres per second (1,079,252,848.8 km/h). Physicists refer to this as a "miliHixon"

[Killericon]

The Hixon we know is just an avatar the real Hixon uses to amuse himself in his spare time.

[Popcorn Sutton]

http://extras.mnginteractive.com/live/media/site36/2006/0727/20060727_041515_OlBroncos072706_400.jpg

[theAPAOps5]

Hixon invented the Triple Lindy:

<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2FUxUiMyt70"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2FUxUiMyt70" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

[SoCalBronco]

http://extras.mnginteractive.com/live/media/site36/2006/0727/20060727_041515_OlBroncos072706_400.jpg

Rod witnessing Hixon run a simple 12 yard curl route.

[theAPAOps5]

Hixon's pee is brighter than sunlight, Rod saw a man look directly into his pee and saw the results.

[Los Broncos]

Hixon's pee is brighter than sunlight, Rod saw a man look directly into his pee and saw the results.

:rofl:

[Orange_Beard]

Hixon just broke up a major dog fighting ring.

[Killericon]

The only thing stopping Hixon is Hixon.

[Kaylore]

http://extras.mnginteractive.com/live/media/site36/2006/0727/20060727_041515_OlBroncos072706_400.jpg

Rod witnessing Hixon heal Scheffler's foot by spitting on it.

[Killericon]

Rod witnessing Hixon heal Scheffler's foot by spitting on it.

Something tells me that that photo is going to be our best meme for a long time.

[Popcorn Sutton]

Is it just me or does the kid have skills?

[chrisp]

Domenik Hixon once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Domenik Hixon's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Domenik Hixon.

Domenik Hixon can speak Braille.

When Domenik Hixon exercises, the machine gets stronger.

Domenik Hixon doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

Domenik Hixon can kill two stones with one bird.

Domenik Hixon can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Domenik Hixon once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having s*x with his waitress.

Domenik Hixon is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Domenik Hixon once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he cr@pped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Domenik Hixon once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more t*sticles?" contest. Domenik Hixon won by 5.

Domenik Hixon once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

When Domenik Hixon has s*x with a man, it won't be because he is g@y. It will be because he has run out of women.

For some, the left t*sticle is larger than the right one. For Domenik Hixon, each t*sticle is larger than the other one.

Domenik Hixon ordered a Big Mac at Red Rooster, and got one.

It takes Domenik Hixon 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Domenik Hixon can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Domenik Hixon ! recently had the idea to sell his u*ine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Domenik Hixon. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.

Domenik Hixon invented the internet... just so he had a place to store his p*rn.

One day Domenik Hixon walked down the street with a massive er*ction. There were no survivors.

When Domenik Hixon plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

Domenik Hixon qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.

Brodie Croyle is allowed to live because Domenik Hixon doesn't kill women.

[Hotrod]

"Domenik Hixon once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more t*sticles?" contest. Domenik Hixon won by 5."

LOL thats friggin good

[Garcia Bronco]

http://extras.mnginteractive.com/live/media/site36/2006/0727/20060727_041515_OlBroncos072706_400.jpg

"I didn't say a damn thing bad about Hixon. He's my hero."

[Jason in LA]

Domenik Hixon ordered a Big Mac at Red Rooster, and got one.




One time I went to Jack in the Box and asked for a Whooper. The guy chuckled and gave me a Jumbo Jack. Hixon would have gotten a Whooper.

[Victor]

Frankly, I had a bad experience with Hixon as well. I asked him to turn water into wine, but he turned it into a protein shake instead.

"Better for the pythons" he said.

[broncosteven]

Hixon Inspired the formation of the band DEATHsicle!

Hixon wanted rock & Hixon was rocked.

[Garcia Bronco]

When Putin is talking about another cold war...he's really talking about building weapons to stop Hixon...

[Odysseus]

This thread rocks.

[Rock Chalk]

Hixon: Coming To A Supermarket Near You.

Will Sack Your Groceries Faster Than Anyone.

[Jason in LA]

Hixon's boo boo smells like roses...so I've heard ;D

[NYBronc]

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Dominik Hixon can piss his name into concrete.

[theAPAOps5]

Hixon can win connect four in three moves, thats right you heard me.

[Garcia Bronco]

Hixon can haul ass is 1/2 a trip

[Flex Gunmetal]

Hixon once ate the Bible while water skiing.

[Garcia Bronco]

Hixon was really the one after Carol Ann....not a would be mormon cult that sealed themselves in a cave for the end of days.

[Flex Gunmetal]

Hixon orchestrated the merger between Unicef and Smith & Wessen.

[theAPAOps5]

Hixon once beat Chuck Norris in a foot race. The result was the 1989 San Fransico earthquake.

[NYBronc]

Hixon took Mother Nature from behind. We refer to the event as the Big Bang.

[Killericon]

Hixon led the league in sacks last year. It's just that noone knows about it.

[cutthemdown]

Hixon spelled backwards is Noxih. I know that means nothing but since it's hixon backwards it should mean kicks ass.

[Hotrod]

Hixon once entered a space triva contest. After only being able to come up with 8 planets the judges changed plutos status.

[DeuceOfClub]

:strong:

[Kaylore]

Hixon can't get sick. When he catches a cold the germs sneeze themselves to death.

[theAPAOps5]

Hixon is Latin for, The Greatest Bad Ass of all time.

[Garcia Bronco]

Hixon can beat Mike Ditka* in a titanic match to the death.



*Ditka Home Field Advantage

[Kaylore]

Anyone who graduates from culinary school has to learn Hixon's three favorite meals and be able to cook them at all times regardless of the restaurant they work in.

[theAPAOps5]

Hixon has only made on mistake in his life, it was New Coke.

[scorpio]

Hixon rabbit-punched my grandmother in the neck

[Hotrod]

I played poker against Hixon and now have a new avatar :nono:

[Dr. Broncenstein]

I played poker against Hixon and now have a new avatar :nono:

:rofl:

[dark_hawk]

I played poker against Hixon and now have a new avatar :nono:

was wondering what happened to the old one

[Arkansas Bronco]

Hixon has only made on mistake in his life, it was New Coke.

Well at least it wasnt that diet coke plus that was worse than the "new" coke.

[broncosteven]

Hixon can beat Mike Ditka* in a titanic match to the death.



*Ditka Home Field Advantage

That was a 2" Hixon vs a 60' Da Coach.

[no-pseudo-fan]

Hixon was out last year due to his willingness to throw it at a comet headed to destroy earth. Luckly for us he can grow another in a matter of months, unluckly for the comet, his legs are atomic and nothing can survive even a glancing blow from them.

[broncocalijohn]

Well, I got my Hixon jersey with a cape attached to it and went to mini camp to get Hixon to sign it. He took one look at it and said the jersey was a fraud. I seemed puzzled until he explained that when he flies, he doesnt need a cape.

[broncosteven]

HIXON invented the push up bra and thong.

[BroncoBuff]

Hixon wrote out his unified theory of physics for me, and it worked! But the bastage refused to let me take it or copy it. He "explained" that I could only look at it, because it was too dynamite to unleash - at least until 2010, maybe later.

And now I can't remember it.

Bastage.

[Jason in LA]

Well, I got my Hixon jersey with a cape attached to it and went to mini camp to get Hixon to sign it. He took one look at it and said the jersey was a fraud. I seemed puzzled until he explained that when he flies, he doesnt need a cape.


You should have told him that the cape was a metaphor. ;D

[scorpio]

Hixon killed a man in Reno just to watch him die

[broncocalijohn]

You should have told him that the cape was a metaphor. ;D

YOU want to tell Hixon that? I dont want to be a smart ass to the mightest of them all! I think it was better to say that it was for Halloween since Spider Man, Bat Man and all are a bunch of wussies compared to hixon.

[broncosteven]

I went to buy a HIXON replica Jersey, Had to run obstacle course, Bench 728lbs for 20 reps. Run 40 in under 4 seconds.

When I failed they told me the sales guy said not just anyone can buy or wear a HIXON jersey.