Sexual Advice

[watermock]

To cut a long story short, about 5 years ago I had this incredibly intense BDSM relationship which rather blew my mind. I foolishly thought I could recreate the relationship with my next GF, but even though she was pretty open minded, she didn't quite "get" it, so the BDSM fell away, and with it my sex drive, and finally the relationship. For my next GF, this time I'd come to terms with the idea that I'd never get anything close to what I had in the BDSM relationship, but again, my sex drive just diminished (which is also a real problem as it makes your lover very insecure) and again with it the relationship.

And since then, I've pretty much had no sex drive at all - so how do I get my mojo back? I live in LA, I have been to a Threshold Society orientation meeting, but I didn't join because my thing is not group displays of my sexuality - it's very very private to me.

And please, I will break down and cry if anyone writes that I shouldn't need subversive sexual practices to show how much I love someone - as Elvis said; never judge a man until you've walked in his shoes.
posted by anonymous to health (8 comments total)

[watermock]

I find the strangest sh!t sometimes.

[watermock]

, I have been to a Threshold Society orientation meeting, but I didn't join because my thing is not group displays of my sexuality - it's very very private to me.

That slayed me...then why is he posting on the internet? I just about died.

I was looking up MOJO. Ha!

[Meck77]

Sexual advice thread......:kiss:

With the amount of "pros":pimp::cowgirl: we have here this could make it to the Ring of Fame. :ouwknow:

[watermock]

oh man...lick like a hungry kitty and you get a happy girl!

She still gets the milk tho.

[elsid13]

The word "trouble" comes to mind. This might be the only thread Bobo and Gonzo don't try to hijack

[Pat Bowlen]

I was just about to eat breakfast when I read this thread.

Now I think I'll wait 'til lunch.

[rugbythug]

sex does not equal love

[Swedish Extrovert]

I'd say give up the booze and get younger and less angry, Mock.

[Atlas]

No sex drive? Viagra is a wonderful thing.

[Jason in LA]

When I saw the title of this thread, and Mock's name on it, I knew it had some potential.

Well, at least I have figured out how to get to 66,000 posts.

[Cosmo]

I vote Mock is banned from posting anything about sex. I didn't realize he had posted about what he found on the internet for the first couple sentences....In other words, while thinking this was about Watermock I threw up a little in my mouth.

[Los Broncos]

Dont have sex, its energy suicide.

[Swedish Extrovert]

Dont have sex, its energy suicide.

:crazy: I should neg rep you for that one :thumbsup:

[Los Broncos]

:crazy: I should neg rep you for that one :thumbsup:

Haha

[BMF Bronco]

What is this "sex" thing you speak of. Can you buy it at wal-mart?

[elsid13]

What is this "sex" thing you speak of. Can you buy it at wal-mart?

No you actually sell it away when you have kids ;D

[Los Broncos]

No you actually sell it away when you have kids ;D

:rofl:

[BMF Bronco]

No you actually sell it away when you have kids ;D

Ahh, hence my problem! :spit: ROFL!

[theAPAOps5]

I vote Mock is banned from posting anything about sex. I didn't realize he had posted about what he found on the internet for the first couple sentences....In other words, while thinking this was about Watermock I threw up a little in my mouth.

Man same here. I started reading and then it got to BDSM and I was like oh god I am feeling sick. THen I realized the post was to structured and there was actually a coherent flow to the post and I started to feel better.

[elsid13]

Ahh, hence my problem! :spit: ROFL!

And people wonder why I am still single. Dumb bastards, enjoy your Bed, Bath and Beyond experiences ;D

[watermock]

Poor guy can't find a girl that enjoys proper torture. Oh the humanity...THE HUMANITY of it all. *sobs*

mock will now tell you how he managed to get evicted for loud sex. Maybe not on second thought. What's that moaning and spanking sound up there dear? Thats the PG version. Great MOJO!

[sixtimeseight]

I vote Mock is banned from posting

Agree wholeheartedly.

[Billy Clyde Puckett]

My only advise is don't take any advise from Chief's fans.

[chaz]

whiskey dick?

[watermock]

FU. I bring a little levity and it's a license to feed your egos with insults.

[Requiem]

Hey Watermock, that'd be a good spit in a rap song. I'm stealing it. (Your post above.)

[Nuggets4]

What

The

****?

[BMF Bronco]

And people wonder why I am still single. Dumb bastards, enjoy your Bed, Bath and Beyond experiences ;D

**** that, I am still single, just have a kid.

[Swedish Extrovert]

I had a girl that liked to pour candle wax on my chest. That was hot... until I got burned in between my pecks...

I just like it when they play with my choad... my choad IS a toy.

[smalltowngrll]

This thread is hilarious!! ROFL!

[theAPAOps5]

whiskey dick?

That is a boner to Mock.

[BMF Bronco]

will you for the love of God stop putting Mock's anatomy on this thread??!?!?!!?!?!

[orinjkrush]

SmTG nailed it. this is hilarious. great "yank job" Mocko

[elsid13]

will you for the love of God stop putting Mock's anatomy on this thread??!?!?!!?!?!

Getting turned on???

[Meck77]

Jenny Mccarthy breaks down food and sex.......

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZQsntO1POPw&mode=related&search=

[ant1999e]

Where do you find cats that are into BDSM?

[Los Broncos]

Here

[azbroncfan]

To cut a long story short, about 5 years ago I had this incredibly intense BDSM relationship which rather blew my mind. I foolishly thought I could recreate the relationship with my next GF, but even though she was pretty open minded, she didn't quite "get" it, so the BDSM fell away, and with it my sex drive, and finally the relationship. For my next GF, this time I'd come to terms with the idea that I'd never get anything close to what I had in the BDSM relationship, but again, my sex drive just diminished (which is also a real problem as it makes your lover very insecure) and again with it the relationship.

And since then, I've pretty much had no sex drive at all - so how do I get my mojo back? I live in LA, I have been to a Threshold Society orientation meeting, but I didn't join because my thing is not group displays of my sexuality - it's very very private to me.

And please, I will break down and cry if anyone writes that I shouldn't need subversive sexual practices to show how much I love someone - as Elvis said; never judge a man until you've walked in his shoes.
posted by anonymous to health (8 comments total)


All that to say he has erectal dysfunction?

[maher_tyler]

To cut a long story short, about 5 years ago I had this incredibly intense BDSM relationship which rather blew my mind. I foolishly thought I could recreate the relationship with my next GF, but even though she was pretty open minded, she didn't quite "get" it, so the BDSM fell away, and with it my sex drive, and finally the relationship. For my next GF, this time I'd come to terms with the idea that I'd never get anything close to what I had in the BDSM relationship, but again, my sex drive just diminished (which is also a real problem as it makes your lover very insecure) and again with it the relationship.

And since then, I've pretty much had no sex drive at all - so how do I get my mojo back? I live in LA, I have been to a Threshold Society orientation meeting, but I didn't join because my thing is not group displays of my sexuality - it's very very private to me.

And please, I will break down and cry if anyone writes that I shouldn't need subversive sexual practices to show how much I love someone - as Elvis said; never judge a man until you've walked in his shoes.
posted by anonymous to health (8 comments total)

I recommend you stop being such a fagget!!

[Sassy]

This thread cracks me up! LOL!

[gunns]

Dear Anonymous,

I find it strange you can't find a woman to do the BDSM with you. There are thousands of women out there that would give their right boob to knock the hell out of some man. They should be able to get you "up", before they knock you right back down. The internet was the right place to come.

[loborugger]

Dear Anonymous,

I find it strange you can't find a woman to do the BDSM with you. There are thousands of women out there that would give their right boob to knock the hell out of some man. They should be able to get you "up", before they knock you right back down. The internet was the right place to come.


Interestingly, Mr Anonymous didnt really mention who was doing what to whom. However, since he announced he would cry if someone told him that he didnt need an abusive relationship to find love, I really doubt he was the Dom. Something about weeping over bad advice and being the kinda guy that wants to twist a woman's nipple off that just dont gel. I am gonna guess that Gunns is right.

In that case, this is my advice...

Dr Mr Anonymous - Take up a career in crime. I suggest drug dealing. In the short term, it will make you very wealthy with little time or effort invested. Then, when you get caught and sent to prison, you can have a very intense BDSM relationship with 100 of your favorite roommates.

BTW, Mock, how did you just "stumble" upon a self help thread regarding BDSM?

[sirhcyennek81]

I had a girl that liked to pour candle wax on my chest. That was hot... until I got burned in between my pecks...

I just like it when they play with my choad... my choad IS a toy.


On this we agree. Never got into the wax, happened one time, over my nipples, and the ****ers were so oversensitized by the experience it made wearing a shirt nearly impossible. I'd do it again tho...


:Broncos:

[broncogary]

Dear mock,

I have been having trouble finding sexually-oriented websites on the internet. Can you help me?

Signed,

Computer Illiterate

[watermock]

Dear mock,

I have been having trouble finding sexually-oriented websites on the internet. Can you help me?

Signed,

Computer Illiterate

www.adultbouncer.com

[broncogary]

www.adultbouncer.com

You've made my life complete. :thumbs:

[Bronx33]

Iam almost too scared to ask what the he11 BDSM is..

[watermock]

Iam almost too scared to ask what the he11 BDSM is..

Then you deserve to be spanked. Hilarious!

[Los Broncos]

www.unrealboobs.com

[Dr.5280]

Hey Mock! What is your password and user name at adultbouncer.com? If that wont work, just post me your credit card number and I'll open my own account.

Thanks again from a fellow fan.

[watermock]

http://www.boobs-today.com/dzidzia/jjh.jpg

Some women are just naturally more well endowed. Ha!

[clarkster]

i dont understand why this thread is in the butt. it may be the funniest thread of the week...

not 1 but 2 references to old school, and mock talking about getting evicted for rough sex. then smurf pipes in with something. then theres the nipple talk. awesome...

[Old Dude]

Dear Anonymous:

I don't really see the problem.

Think about this logically for a minute.

At point A in time, you have a sex drive.

At point B in time, you have BDSM, whatever that is, and apparently enjoyed it.

At point C in time, that stopped.

At point D in time, you can't get anymore BDSM.

At point E in time, you have no sex drive anymore.

So why are you worried about sex now? So long as you don't have any sex drive, you won't get in any trouble (not from your sex drive, anyway) and you can concentrate on other things, such as stamp collecting, baseball statistics or even NASCAR (if your brain swings that way).

Seems to me that your problem has solved itself, so get out there and just enjoy life!