OT - worst NFL player rated in Madden Spouts off

[broncosteven]

Not sure if this has been posted before:

http://www.thephatphree.com/features.asp?StoryID=3159&SectionID=2

"Please expect to find red pubes in various meals you consume for the rest of your life. If you **** with Ethan Albright, you call down the thunder. "

ROTFLMAO

[Kaylore]

Yes it was posted but it's still really funny. Imagining that guy actually saying that is hilarious. ROFL!

[Northman]

That is a riot. haha!

[Inkana7]

One of the most hilarious things I've read in awhile.

[Kaylore]

I forgot how funny this is. The part where he talks about his awareness rating vis-a-vis his morning routine is the best.

[Taco John]

I posted this last season... This is one of the funniest things I can ever remember reading ever, especially, like Kaylore noted, when he started talking about his awareness rating...

[Taco John]

"According to your game, I am a retarded, uncoordinated, p***y-ass ****wad that can’t fall on a kickoff, throw, or spell. I am, however, slightly better at manning up on a receiver than dropping into zone coverage. You lose your mind more and more each year, old man."

[Rock Chalk]

When I first read this, I laughed for three days whenever I thought about a part. A buddy would then mention a part I had forgotten about and I would laugh all over again.

[Kaylore]

The kickoff one has me in stitches. Hilarious! Thanks for posting this again.

[kmartin575]

That's awesome.

[Inkana7]

That part about man and zone coverage is priceless!

[footstepsfrom#27]

You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly **** and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast.
Hilarious! He might stink as a player but he's got a future in stand up comedy for sure...great stuff.

[U GOT JACKED UP]

what a loser. lol

[broncosteven]

I was rated with a throwing power of 17 and accuracy of 16. Orlando Pace has a 22 power and 17 accuracy rating. Did someone at EA really put time into figuring out that Orlando Pace edges out Ethan Albright in both throwing power and accuracy?

[watermock]

You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a ****ing 12. I rate you a ****ing 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom. Score one for Red Beard.

[clint7]

Damn, that was good stuff! Thanks for posting. I had not read that before.

"Score one for Red Beard!"

[Los Broncos]

Lmao, that was good.

[GonzoLays]

The player did not write that, you know. But still, it doesn't make it any less funnier.

[NYBronco]

Funny, very funny. John Madden is an even bigger joke.

[Rohirrim]

Hilarious! I've read that about four times, and every time it gets better.

I would just stand there and let the ball bounce off of my ****ing face. **** that, John, I returned an onside kick 6 yards in 2002. You should have just slapped a - 4 on me and had the EA staff ambush me with paintball guns. Ha!

[AboveAverage]

Funny stuff. BTW, Madden cover boy is revealed tomorrow night on Jimmy Kimmel Live.

[penguintheory]

ofn.