Tank Johnson,Pac-Man Jones Killed Arguing Over Who Inspired NFL CodeOfConduct(Parody)

[BroncoInferno]

Tank Johnson, Pac-Man Jones Killed While Arguing Over Who Inspired NFL Code Of Conduct

CHICAGO—The short, turbulent, and controversial lives of NFL cornerback Adam "Pac-Man" Jones and defensive tackle Terry "Tank" Johnson ended in a Chicago-area strip club last Tuesday night when an argument over which player had the greatest influence on the NFL's proposed code of conduct escalated into horrific but predictable violence. "We already had the club under surveillance as a possible hub for drug dealing, arms trading, prostitution, gambling, and counterfeiting, so when Jones and Johnson arrived around 11 p.m. we weren't surprised," FBI agent Ronald Murchowski told reporters on the scene. "They had no sooner ordered their bodyguards to throw money on the stage when the question of who had in fact inspired the new NFL player-conduct policies brought them to blows, stabbings, personal arson, and finally, gunplay." The NFL has not yet announced how it would deal with such tragedies in the future under the proposed "Jones/Johnson" or "Johnson/Jones" rules.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/tank_johnson_pac_man_jones

[Jesterhole]

How did we laugh before The Onion came along?

[BroncoInferno]

The real winner in all this is Chris Henry. He's the undisputed inspiration now.

[-Slap-]

The real winner in all this is Chris Henry. He's the undisputed inspiration now.

See, that's the problem these days. Nobody gives any credit to the true legends.

http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/3690/452c6956126a1221ub8.jpg

Pacman, Tank and Chris can't carry LP's jock as a violent thug/team cancer. Hell, Pacman had a good season last year on the field. You think LP worried about crap like that?

Hell, no! He was keeping it real. LP was busting up b****es while Roger "Goody Goody" Goodall was getting his lunch money taken in junior high school.

[Dr. Broncenstein]

See, that's the problem these days. Nobody gives any credit to the true legends.

http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/3690/452c6956126a1221ub8.jpg

Pacman, Tank and Chris can't carry LP's jock as a violent thug/team cancer. Hell, Pacman had a good season last year on the field. You think LP worried about crap like that?

Hell, no! He was keeping it real. LP was busting up b****es while Roger "Goody Goody" Goodall was getting his lunch money taken in junior high school.

The late 90's Rams featuring Laurence Phillips and Leonard Littlle... make the modernday Bengals look like bible salsesmen.

[BroncoInferno]

I'll see your LP and raise you Rae Carruth.

[Florida_Bronco]

See, that's the problem these days. Nobody gives any credit to the true legends.

http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/3690/452c6956126a1221ub8.jpg

Pacman, Tank and Chris can't carry LP's jock as a violent thug/team cancer. Hell, Pacman had a good season last year on the field. You think LP worried about crap like that?

Hell, no! He was keeping it real. LP was busting up b****es while Roger "Goody Goody" Goodall was getting his lunch money taken in junior high school.

Even homeristic Cornhusker fans like myself can't/won't make any excuses for that piece of garbage.

[-Slap-]

I'll see your LP and raise you Rae Carruth.

I call.

http://img153.imageshack.us/img153/3493/302197721670261de92oin6.jpg

[WABronco]

Great Thread

[TheReverend]

You know what's priceless about Pac and Tank? They're so messed up I actually thought this article might be true until i saw "theonion" link.

[youcandoit1687]

West Virginia Pride!!!

[gunns]

Remind me never to play poker with Slap. That was impressive.

[Vegas_Bronco]

I fold:

http://www.debbieschlussel.com/archives/bryantgumbel.jpg

[Xenos]

You know what's priceless about Pac and Tank? They're so messed up I actually thought this article might be true until i saw "theonion" link.

Ditto.

Should I feel guilty that I was kinda happy to hear Pac Man die?

[CoBear23]

I love the onion and am an avid reader but am I the only one who thinks this is disgusting?

I mean after seeing this headline all I could think of was D-Will. His killers still haven't been caught and people are joking about the shooting of players in a situation similar to the events of that night.

D-Will deserves better

[watermock]

http://www.tomsorrell.net/mediac/400_0/media/Lil~John.jpg

I'm all in. Nothing beats Pacman and his posse.

[-Slap-]

The Onion was making jokes about 9/11 within days of the attack. Hopefully, one day we can reach a point in this country when nobody will ever tell a joke about anything, and then nobody can be offended.

[BroncoInferno]

The Onion was making jokes about 9/11 within days of the attack. Hopefully, one day we can reach a point in this country when nobody will ever tell a joke about anything, and then nobody can be offended.

No kidding. I wasn't too surprised to see this morning that a mod actually felt it necessary to put "parody" in the thread title. Give me a freakin break Uhh

[SonOfLe-loLang]

The Onion was not making jokes per se about 9/11, just took a lighter view of it...if i recall...their headline was "Holy ****ing ****"

[-Slap-]

The Onion was not making jokes per se about 9/11, just took a lighter view of it...if i recall...their headline was "Holy ****ing ****"

Good lord.

[Rock Chalk]

The Onion was not making jokes per se about 9/11, just took a lighter view of it...if i recall...their headline was "Holy ****ing ****"

That was pretty much my headline that morning. Actually anytime I think about it those three wonderful words escape my mouth.