Single parents

[DBroncos4life]

I've got a question for you guys. Right now I'm watching my kid Sunday night then Monday-Friday from 8 Am to 4 Pm. My she-devil ex and I don't have a parenting plan but we will have one soon. She wants it so I have him Sunday night, Monday morning and Friday morning. I think thats F'd up because she can't watch him and I see no reason why I can't watch him. Really the whole thing is a huge mess that I don't want to get into right now but if any of you guys have went through this what should I really be expecting. My lawyer thinks I have nothing to worry about but I do kind of, this is my child and I want to be with him as much as I can.

[Lev Vyvanse]

I've got a question for you guys. Right now I'm watching my kid Sunday night then Monday-Friday from 8 Am to 4 Pm. My she-devil ex and I don't have a parenting plan but we will have one soon. She wants it so I have him Sunday night, Monday morning and Friday morning. I think thats F'd up because she can't watch him and I see no reason why I can't watch him. Really the whole thing is a huge mess that I don't want to get into right now but if any of you guys have went through this what should I really be expecting. My lawyer thinks I have nothing to worry about but I do kind of, this is my child and I want to be with him as much as I can.

You should definitely get weekends. You should also leave that "she-devil ex" **** at the door cause no kid needs that.

[DBroncos4life]

You should definitely get weekends. You also leave that "she-devil ex" **** at the door cause no kid needs that.

I don't say it in front of him man, I come from a split home as well so I know whats up. She will leave my kid with her parents and boyfriend without even giving me a chance to watch him. Just doesn't seem right that others get to raise him when I want too be in his life.

[Lev Vyvanse]

I don't say it in front of him man, I come from a split home as well so I know whats up. She will leave my kid with her parents and boyfriend without even giving me a chance to watch him. Just doesn't seem right that others get to raise him when I want too be in his life.

That sucks man I am sorry. You sound like you have all experience you need to deal with the situation. Just remember to stay strong and the only really important thing is the kid.

[DBroncos4life]

That sucks man I sorry. You sound like you have all experience you need to deal with the situation. Just remember to stay strong and the only really important thing is the kid.

I'm just scared that they will give her what she wants in the plan. I just want to watch him the days that I do now. Hell she just gave me Sunday nights so she can go out with her BF. It was just Monday-Friday. In my mind I just don't see why the court would take him from a parent and place him in a daycare, but stranger things have happened I guess.

[Lev Vyvanse]

I'm just scared that they will give her what she wants in the plan. I just want to watch him the days that I do now. Hell she just gave me Sunday nights so she can go out with her BF. It was just Monday-Friday. In my mind I just don't see why the court would take him from a parent and place him in a daycare, but stranger things have happened I guess.

Make sure and bring that up. It makes no sense to have split shifts during the week. I'm sure the they will see through her bulls**t.

[7 4ever]

Keep in mind that the first criteria for the court to make a decision is what is best for the kid, if she cannot take care of him during those days and you do and are willing to do it, there is no way she can take him away from you, so I would also say that you don't have anything to worry about.

It also helps not to think about the fricking BF at all!!! Ugh that still pisses me off!!! Anyway be strong man, you will see the light at the end of the tunnel very soon.

[Mtbrncofn]

I don't have any good advice, but just wanted to say good luck. It's awesome to hear that a single dad actually wants to be with his kid so much.

[DBroncos4life]

I don't have any good advice, but just wanted to say good luck. It's awesome to hear that a single dad actually wants to be with his kid so much.

I have no family in Montana, he is all I got. Right now I don't even want to date anyone again because I feel bad for him. Every day he asks me when he leaves if he's coming back, like even he doesn't know and he is two years old. I just can't see me letting someone in right now to take my attention away from him. I know that I will need to date again, soon even but I just can't bring myself to do it.

[spdirty]

Wife and I have been pretty damn close to divorce a few times. Last November the only thing that made me want to work it out with her was so our boys arent raised in a damn jehovas witness home. And they need a father figure and the only one I trust to be that iis me.

I pity your situation Dbroncos. Couldnt imagine what it would be like to be separated from your kids, and if I were you Id fight like hell to get as much time as possible with them.

[Ron Mexico]

I used to get my son every other weekend. We lived about 150 miles apart and would meet in the middle. I would also get him all summer. I stuck with it for 12 years, and when he was old enough to make his own decision, he decided to come and live with me full-time. Hang in there.

[DBroncos4life]

Thanks everyone. I have been hanging in there pretty well. Im over losing her, I now see her for what she really was or is. My father thinks that this is the last thing she can do to hurt me. Once its over it will be finished. She left me, I'm cool with that but why through my kid at me like this? Everytime we fight now she says shes going to take him from me anyways, then has the balls to tell me that we are putting him in the middle. Its tough to take at times. I guess I will let people know how it ends either way.

[7 4ever]

I used to get my son every other weekend. We lived about 150 miles apart and would meet in the middle. I would also get him all summer. I stuck with it for 12 years, and when he was old enough to make his own decision, he decided to come and live with me full-time. Hang in there.

That's awesome, I have a 2 year old little kid and that is exactly what I dream of, I have him with me every weekend -we are 60 miles away and it is just so hard to leave him on Sunday night, but hey we are Broncos fans, we can absolutely handle it. :approve:

[Lev Vyvanse]

I used to get my son every other weekend. We lived about 150 miles apart and would meet in the middle. I would also get him all summer. I stuck with it for 12 years, and when he was old enough to make his own decision, he decided to come and live with me full-time. Hang in there.

Having been the child in this situation. I would have to say this is the best possible solution. I think it would have been best if I would have been required to live with my father anywhere between 12-14.

[Mtbrncofn]

I have no family in Montana, he is all I got. Right now I don't even want to date anyone again because I feel bad for him. Every day he asks me when he leaves if he's coming back, like even he doesn't know and he is two years old. I just can't see me letting someone in right now to take my attention away from him. I know that I will need to date again, soon even but I just can't bring myself to do it.

I remember when he was born and you posted. You were like a kid yourself, you were so excited. :)

I wouldn't worry about rushing to date. You don't sound comfortable with the idea at all and if you want to take that time and energy and invest it in your kid, way to go.

[smalltowngrll]

I wish I had advice for you. Good luck. It's definitely refreshing to see that there are fathers that really want to be such a large part of their child's life.

[Vegas_Bronco]

Just be cool in court - express nothing but love for your child in court and just make sure the judge knows you'd give every minute of your day with love and refrain from showing any bitterness towards her - the judge makes a lot of decisions based on how the family unit reacts to one another. I'd even practice it - Broncos fans are always ready for 'gameday' - GL!

[Bronco Billy]

It's awesome that you want to be in his life. There seems to be so many dead-beat parents who could care less if they see their kid, as if the kid was nothing more than a bad memory they try to avoid. It's not my place to understand, but one would think that she would be estatic about keeping the father a part of the child's life. Good luck.

"God only makes happy endings. So, if it's not happy, then it's not the end!"

[akaspaz]

Be careful with this and get all custody arrangements in writing because the courts will side with the mother in 99% of the situations. Try to get your kid as much as possible to increase your parenting time and get it on the record. Once custody (child support) is ruled upon it is very difficult to change and is a ruling that is in place until your child is no-longer a minor.

As for your attorney, get one that is experienced with family law. Based on experience, family law / child suppprt rulings are very difficult to overturn once ruled upon.

Of course, your state of residence weighs on the decision.

I live in CA and courts are very pro-mother regardless.

btw, I speak from experience.

[SoCalBronco]

I hope the best for you DB and may you get to spend as much time with your son as possible.

[akaspaz]

I have no family in Montana, he is all I got. Right now I don't even want to date anyone again because I feel bad for him. Every day he asks me when he leaves if he's coming back, like even he doesn't know and he is two years old. I just can't see me letting someone in right now to take my attention away from him. I know that I will need to date again, soon even but I just can't bring myself to do it.

Two things...

1). Take care of yourself and have a life, but always start the conversation with your son as the number one priority.
2). Children need both parents in their lives to feel safe and secure. Rise above, be noble and be a role model for the little guy.

[Tredici]

Be careful with this and get all custody arrangements in writing because the courts will side with the mother in 99% of the situations. Try to get your kid as much as possible to increase your parenting time and get it on the record. Once custody (child support) is ruled upon it is very difficult to change and is a ruling that is in place until your child is no-longer a minor.

As for your attorney, get one that is experienced with family law. Based on experience, family law / child suppprt rulings are very difficult to overturn once ruled upon.

Of course, your state of residence weighs on the decision.

I live in CA and courts are very pro-mother regardless.

btw, I speak from experience.


Sorry to hear you didn't get a favorable custody ruling but you are incorrect in the 99%. Joint custody arrangements are far more common if both parents are willing to work it out.

It isn't easy and for some reason the adults rapidly start behaving like children forcing the kid into situations far too adult for them to handle.

If you make everything about the child (no matter what the other parent says or does), give up silly control issues like how money is to be spent, you can always be a great influence in your child's life regardless of how many days you spend with them.

Always remember the child is blameless. Stay positive.

[RMT]

I've "been there, done that" and went through a nasty divorce and custody battle ... I was one of the few dads fortunate enough to get full custody ...

Just want you to know I feel your pain and would be happy to offer advice or a listening ear at any time.

[broncoblue]

i wanted to arrange my plan for 4nights each on a rolling schedule,but my ex (evil bitch who if id had shot would of saved lots of money) didnt want that and we ended up thrashing a deal thru court ...I have them from end of school every wed night and return them back to the coven at 8.30pm and then they stay with me and my g/f every other weekend from after school fridays -6.30pm sunday evenings....i also take them on vaction for 2 weeks in summer.
she wanted me to have them every weekend but i knew she wanted to party every weekend so i declined(not that i didnt want them but to mess her socail life up as she didnt want me having one)

[TailgateNut]

Once custody (child support) is ruled upon it is very difficult to change and is a ruling that is in place until your child is no-longer a minor.

As for your attorney, get one that is experienced with family law. Based on experience, family law / child suppprt rulings are very difficult to overturn once ruled upon.

Of course, your state of residence weighs on the decision.

I live in CA and courts are very pro-mother regardless.

btw, I speak from experience.

I went through a bitter battle 15 years ago in Va (talk about back-woods mentality), but I retained a great lawyer and was actually able to get full custody. A rarity in that state, at least back then. Fathers always seem to get the short end of the "stick".
Don't give in, and do what you know will be in the best interest of your child!

[Bronco_Beerslug]

I went through a bitter battle 15 years ago in Va (talk about back-woods mentality), but I retained a great lawyer and was actually able to get full custody. A rarity in that state, at least back then. Fathers always seem to get the short end of the "stick".
Don't give in, and do what you know will be in the best interest of your child!"great lawyer" is the key. Mine was very experienced, promised me nothing but had many dealings with our judge over the years which helped I'm sure since her attorney was from across town. Went after full custody and got it.

[defenseman]

Lot of divorced folks here on this board?...dman

[TailgateNut]

Lot of divorced folks here on this board?...dman

Just once, then I remarried 10 years later. Had to give it a break after my 1st "MISTAKE". I met several women during that period, but none "qualified" until I met my current wife!
Now "it's all good"!;D

[Bronco_Beerslug]

Lot of divorced folks here on this board?...dmanLots of divorced folks everywhere considering the failure rate of marriages.

[smalltowngrll]

If we took the statistics here from the board, we'd see that there are far more men than one would think obtain full custody...if not joint custody.

I've met many men that have full custody of their children and the mother has the visitations. Don't lose hope. Some great advice here. Hang in there and stay strong!

[Ron Mexico]

Lot of divorced folks here on this board?...dman

Married and divorced within a year of high school graduation. Met the right woman a few years later and we will celebrate our 12th anniversary this year.

[brncs_fan]

When it comes to court proceedings, everything you need to know you can learn by watching any of those TV court shows. In a battle of cool, calculating, documentating, reasonable, mature people vs. nervous, irrational, flighty, irrational, childish people, the latter always loose.

If she starts going off on a tangent and starts calling you names and trying to distort the truth, don't sink to her level because she will beat you on unfamiliar ground. Stay smart and stay poised and keep a professional demeanor and the most important thing, your son, will be your prize.

[Garcia Bronco]

I'd plant drugs in her car and call the police

[Ron Mexico]

Thanks everyone. I have been hanging in there pretty well. Im over losing her, I now see her for what she really was or is. My father thinks that this is the last thing she can do to hurt me. Once its over it will be finished. She left me, I'm cool with that but why through my kid at me like this? Everytime we fight now she says shes going to take him from me anyways, then has the balls to tell me that we are putting him in the middle. Its tough to take at times. I guess I will let people know how it ends either way.

Yep, I went through the same things. I was young and broke and couldn't keep fighting in court. Whenever she got mad at me (most of the time), she wouldn't let me see my son for a month or even 6 weeks once. But you've got to hang in there. She'll want to party or go somewhere - and you're the only free babysitter. As kids get older, they remember this stuff. My son sure does and is glad has lived with me for the last 5 years.

[defenseman]

Lots of divorced folks everywhere considering the failure rate of marriages.

I'm guessing I am in the minority. Got married in 1980. As with any other marriage for the most part, we had our rough spots but presently it's going better than ever. Feel pretty fortunate to have found my wife, she's a keeper. Seen lots of sailors go through very trying times while going through divorces, I can only recommend staying strong and stay focused on what's important, in most cases, that is the kids. Haven't not gone through it myself though, only seen the aftermath so to speak, it's hard for me to offer advice in this particular arena..dman

[Bronco_Beerslug]

I'd plant drugs in her car and call the policeI think that's a given to everyone here by now.

[gunns]

I hear a lot of "evil b*****" here and possibly they are. In separation there is always anger on both sides. You HAVE to let the anger go for the sake of your child. Easier said than done but with my own experience once I let the anger go, and talked with him about the need for both of us to be there for our children, that we needed to work together on other areas that needed to be taken care of, thing fell into place.

The courts can say one thing (in my case I got sole custody, for particular reasons) but outside of court we worked it out on our own, we voiced our concerns to one another WITHOUT putting the other person down. The way you feel about that person has nothing to do with how you feel about your children. The most important thing is to truly put your children's needs first, they need both parents, never say anything bad about the other parent, and when you talk about your children together, let any anger go.

If you can't work out visitation and it's joint custody, the courts have standardized visitation schedules that change with the age of the child. Things like one year you get the child for Christmas Eve and she gets the child for Christmas, things like that. It's so much better if you can work it out together. Good luck DB.

[defenseman]

I hear a lot of "evil b*****" here and possibly they are. In separation there is always anger on both sides. You HAVE to let the anger go for the sake of your child. Easier said than done but with my own experience once I let the anger go, and talked with him about the need for both of us to be there for our children, that we needed to work together on other areas that needed to be taken care of, thing fell into place.

The courts can say one thing (in my case I got sole custody, for particular reasons) but outside of court we worked it out on our own, we voiced our concerns to one another WITHOUT putting the other person down. The way you feel about that person has nothing to do with how you feel about your children. The most important thing is to truly put your children's needs first, they need both parents, never say anything bad about the other parent, and when you talk about your children together, let any anger go.

If you can't work out visitation and it's joint custody, the courts have standardized visitation schedules that change with the age of the child. Things like one year you get the child for Christmas Eve and she gets the child for Christmas, things like that. It's so much better if you can work it out together. Good luck DB.


Gunns do you really look like the "sweetie" on your avatar?...dman

[Los Broncos]

I have a eight year old son, me and the mother have not been together since he was about two. I take him every other weekend, i pick him up on friday and take him home sunday, works for me, the woman will get what she wants no matter what because she has him/her most of the time.

[Los Broncos]

And for the record, i dont hate my sons mother, she did me a favor with child support.

[Los Broncos]

Yep, I went through the same things. I was young and broke and couldn't keep fighting in court. Whenever she got mad at me (most of the time), she wouldn't let me see my son for a month or even 6 weeks once. But you've got to hang in there. She'll want to party or go somewhere - and you're the only free babysitter. As kids get older, they remember this stuff. My son sure does and is glad has lived with me for the last 5 years.

Right on bro.

[Moon§hiner]

The lesson I learned from others divorces and mine was to always be the first to file...ex was putting it off because of money, I went in and immediately got child support established..(a woman attorney is a good way to go IMO.) She made it clear that a judge is most likely going to only award weekends from Fri. night to Sun. p.m. as homework needs to be addressed at the custodial parents home. I would get her for the summer months while school was out. Never had to even go to court to get that. The attorney did all the appearances for me so didn't have to deal with her. If you desire more than that, then be ready to spend some money and time in court.

[freak6]

I'd plant drugs in her car and call the police

Hell yeah Garcia!!! That's the spirit.

This is how fkd up judges are.

I was starting my junior year of college when I kicked my psycho ex out. We tried to make things cool, 6 months there, 6 months with me. I drove from Denver to Socal one weekend a month for the first 4 months and called every day to talk to my boy. Well calling everyday I was talking to my son's aunt who told my about his mom getting into some bad habits with drugs and stuff.

So I immediately drive out, got emergency custody, and took my son back to Denver with me. Divorce finally comes around to the courts, and I show up with my son. I tell judge that she is using hard drugs and is all jacked up, Judge asks her and she totally admits it. Judge still says she deserves visitation and basically forced 9 months with me, summers with her. WTF is that BS. Well she fell off the face of the planet thank god and never contacted us since.

I've been a single parent for the last 6 years, (nick turned 9 today!!!) and couldn't be happier. Lucky for me she hasn't bothered to contact us. I could go for full custody, child support, and say she abandoned or whatever, but it's to risky because I'd rather have her out of his life completely. But once he is 16 and able to make his own choices, I am going after every $ I can get in back child support!

My advice to you is to go after as much time as you can. Those hours seem really strange to me, Friday mornings? What is up with that?

How about you have him Weds night through Saturday morning? Anyway, good luck man.

As a single parent dad don't sweat hooking back up, I've been a single parent for so long and pulled more than I knew what to do with. Take the high road with the ex, get back on that horse and break off a couple freaks and you'll forget all about your ex.

Jukemaster and Jukemaster Jr.

[Garcia Bronco]

I think that's a given to everyone here by now.

I am just saying if she wants to play hard ball swing for the fence:thumbs:

[plummerrox]

I'm just scared that they will give her what she wants in the plan. I just want to watch him the days that I do now. Hell she just gave me Sunday nights so she can go out with her BF. It was just Monday-Friday. In my mind I just don't see why the court would take him from a parent and place him in a daycare, but stranger things have happened I guess.

I'm jumping in way late - but have it written in the agreement that you have first right of refusal to be with your child during her parenting time if she cannot, meaning if your child is to be left with a boyfriend, etc you have the right to have that time. It worked great for me - hard to enforce, but at least it's something. You have as much right to your child as her.

[gunns]

Gunns do you really look like the "sweetie" on your avatar?...dman

LOL Of course not. I do have blonde hair and I do work out regularly but my days of having abs like that are long gone.

[Garcia Bronco]

LOL Of course not. I do have blonde hair and I do work out regularly but my days of having abs like that are long gone.

Nice...and you are 6 years old

[DBroncos4life]

I hate my ex. Sorry thats just the way it is. If we didn't have our kid together then maybe it would be different but she is using him to hurt me. The thing is I've been watching him Monday-Friday for about 4 or 5 months now. All of the sudden its a problem? I talked to my lawyer and he thinks its because of child support issuses. If I have him that long then I don't have to pay as much.

[DBroncos4life]

I'm jumping in way late - but have it written in the agreement that you have first right of refusal to be with your child during her parenting time if she cannot, meaning if your child is to be left with a boyfriend, etc you have the right to have that time. It worked great for me - hard to enforce, but at least it's something. You have as much right to your child as her.

Thats what Im asking for. I keep telling her that but she doesn't see it my way. Hopefully the courts do.

[DBroncos4life]

I might add that she was suppose to pick him up at 3 today. Then poof she can't get out of class or its running late so she won't be here till 4. Unreal. I will take a drive by the BFs house though. I really hope she is there so I can get a picture of it.

[Garcia Bronco]

I might add that she was suppose to pick him up at 3 today. Then poof she can't get out of class or its running late so she won't be here till 4. Unreal. I will take a drive by the BFs house though. I really hope she is there so I can get a picture of it.

Classes don't up and run late

[Sassy]

Traffic...or being stopped by a train would be a better excuse! Ha! Classes are scheduled.
I can't really contribute to the marriage, divorce or kid threads (although, they do make for interesting reading...) but I would be keeping track of that sort of thing if I were you.

[Garcia Bronco]

It's crap like this that has made me swear off marriage and children...cause there would be an effing homicide.

[Garcia Bronco]

Traffic...or being stopped by a train would be a better excuse! Ha! Classes are scheduled.
I can't really contribute to the marriage, divorce or kid threads (although, they do make for interesting reading...) but I would be keeping track of that sort of thing if I were you.

Or how about tell the truth

[Sassy]

Or how about tell the truth
Some just don't understand that concept! ;)

[DBroncos4life]

She sent me a email saying he needs a more stable life. I guess adding a daycare into his life on top of her having my son stay with her BF during the weekends and then going back to her parents house for the week isn't stable enough.

[Sassy]

She sent me a email saying he needs a more stable life. I guess adding a daycare into his life on top of her having my son stay with her BF during the weekends and then going back to her parents house for the week isn't stable enough.

...and throwing the schedule out of whack!

[Garcia Bronco]

She sent me a email saying he needs a more stable life. I guess adding a daycare into his life on top of her having my son stay with her BF during the weekends and then going back to her parents house for the week isn't stable enough.

Stable life...WTF does that mean? It is what it is. How long have you been seperated?

[DBroncos4life]

Stable life...WTF does that mean? It is what it is. How long have you been seperated?

I guess it means not spending 5 days a week with me. Which is cute when she told me already that she is jealous of the relationship that he and I have together. I guess it means if she can't or isn't willing to spend time with our child then neither should I. I've told her many times if she can't watch him then let me do it because we made him and one of us should raise him. She didn't used to be like this either and the change isn't doing her well.

[DBroncos4life]

GB I think its been about 7 or 8 months now.

[Garcia Bronco]

I guess it means not spending 5 days a week with me. Which is cute when she told me already that she is jealous of the relationship that he and I have together. I guess it means if she can't or isn't willing to spend time with our child then neither should I. I've told her many times if she can't watch him then let me do it because we made him and one of us should raise him. She didn't used to be like this either and the change isn't doing her well.

I bet her problem is one of two things..

Life hasn't turned out the way she expected...or she's got some sort of mental disease like M/D, OCD, PTSD. Either way brother...keep strong and remember who the most important person is.

[Garcia Bronco]

GB I think its been about 7 or 8 months now.

And she already has a someone else she is intimate with? That's doesn't seem right to me.

[Tredici]

I think Jake should be careful. This is a public forum. As another poster who no longer has a job found out the hard way.

[Garcia Bronco]

I think Jake should be careful. This is a public forum. As another poster who no longer has a job found out the hard way.

He hasn't done snything wrong or questionable

[Tredici]

My bad. Sorry about using the name Jake. There are just too many 4Lifer's on here!

[Bronco Billy]

I think Jake should be careful. This is a public forum. As another poster who no longer has a job found out the hard way.

How did someone lose their job? Being on the internet at work or their work didn't approve of the content of their post?

[DBroncos4life]

And she already has a someone else she is intimate with? That's doesn't seem right to me.

She's never been single. He treated her like **** for the first 4 months and she stuck with it because her parents like him. I get a kick out of it now. I do know that her parents played a huge role in us splitting up so again Im thrilled to be out of there.

[DBroncos4life]

I think Jake should be careful. This is a public forum. As another poster who no longer has a job found out the hard way.

What did I say???

[Spider]

man , this is rough ........ fight for joint custody .........

[gunns]

Nice...and you are 6 years old

I never put my year of birth way back when I first registered on here and over a year ago I was doing something on here and suddenly it required it. I left the computer, came back, forgot about it. A couple of months later I was looking at a user note and noticed my birth year was 2000. I mentioned it to TJ on a thread but never got a response. If it can be changed would be nice, I'm not ashamed of how old I am.

[gunns]

Traffic...or being stopped by a train would be a better excuse! Ha! Classes are scheduled.
I can't really contribute to the marriage, divorce or kid threads (although, they do make for interesting reading...) but I would be keeping track of that sort of thing if I were you.

A class doesn't run late, especially on a Friday. Just don't react to things like this when they happen, but definitely note them. What ever evidence you can get is great for court but don't react in any way so that she gets a clue you are doing it. Then try and work it out and if it doesn't work, let your evidence and the court decide it. Has the court recommended a mediator?

Here in Utah, the courts seem to like the child spending time with a parent, instead of in a daycare. Who loves that kid more than a parent? And if your son goes to a daycare usually the courts will expect the parents to split the cost. That may change her mind.

[Tredici]

I don't think anyone should presume what a class running late might mean. Does neither a teacher or a student ever stay after scheduled time for help or to be helped?

As far as the woman having a boyfriend. So what? Like it or not, life goes on. Unless there is evidence the boyfriend is in someway harmful to the child following her around and taking pictures of her at his house does what? Make the guy look like a pyscho stalker? The grandparents are involved? So what? Is there evidence they are harming the child?

Nobody here has a clue what this relationship was about, or why it is ending.

The best thing to do is be mature, be positive, treat his "ex" the way he would like his "ex" to treat him and set the better example. Resorting to hysterical and dramatic tactics are not going to be looked upon kindly by the courts.

Take care of your son, protect him from real harm. Expect all the adults in his life to do the same. If they do not, that is what needs to be addressed.

[DBroncos4life]

I don't think anyone should presume what a class running late might mean. Does neither a teacher or a student ever stay after scheduled time for help or to be helped?

As far as the woman having a boyfriend. So what? Like it or not, life goes on. Unless there is evidence the boyfriend is in someway harmful to the child following her around and taking pictures of her at his house does what? Make the guy look like a pyscho stalker? The grandparents are involved? So what? Is there evidence they are harming the child?

Nobody here has a clue what this relationship was about, or why it is ending.

The best thing to do is be mature, be positive, treat his "ex" the way he would like his "ex" to treat him and set the better example. Resorting to hysterical and dramatic tactics are not going to be looked upon kindly by the courts.

Take care of your son, protect him from real harm. Expect all the adults in his life to do the same. If they do not, that is what needs to be addressed.

I don't think you understand. My lawyer and I both want to speak to her teachers about when she is getting out of class. When something like that happens I do have to change things around. Like everyone I do have a schedule. My son is WORTH changing it for but I want to know if what she is DOING should justify it. If it doesn't then it shows that she will choose little things over her son just because she has someone watching him. That goes along way to helping me keep my hours with him.

As far as the new BF goes, he seems like a nice guy. Thats not the issue. The issue is her leaving my child with him so she can go out and GET DRUNK when she knows that I will watch him. I'm his father let him stay with me.

[Tredici]

I don't think you understand. My lawyer and I both want to speak to her teachers about when she is getting out of class. When something like that happens I do have to change things around. Like everyone I do have a schedule. My son is WORTH changing it for but I want to know if what she is DOING should justify it. If it doesn't then it shows that she will choose little things over her son just because she has someone watching him. That goes along way to helping me keep my hours with him.

As far as the new BF goes, he seems like a nice guy. Thats not the issue. The issue is her leaving my child with him so she can go out and GET DRUNK when she knows that I will watch him. I'm his father let him stay with me.


I understand more than you can ever know. Let go of the bad feelings and concentrate on your son. If you don't that crap is going to consume you and will ultimately lose track of what your goal is.

I don't know either you or your wife. I know she is having no opportunity to present her side of this story.

At that, I am going to bow out of this thread. If she calls and is going to be late it gives you that extra hour, right? Why don't you concentrate on enjoying that time instead of worrying about what she is doing with hers? I hope you find the strength and wisdom to let go of the hurt and desire for retribution against a woman that you found enough good in to marry and have a child with.

Take care and best of luck.

[Jason in LA]

I'd plant drugs in her car and call the police

Man, you need to stop. I'm trying to feel for the guy and now I'm just laughing. ;D

[Jason in LA]

DB, I feel for you. I went through something similar. In my case I stayed with the ex and tried to make things work. Partly because I wanted my son to live with both parents, and partly because I didn't want the courts to take him from me. I did the bulk of the parenting, and I wasn't about to let him be stuck with her.

A problem that I had, which may be a problem that you are having, is that I let her threats control the situation. She was jealous of my relationship with my son. She didn't spend the time with him that I did. I took him to school most mornings, and ususally picked him up. I was at all of his activities, but she wasn't. I took him places, when she would decided to stay at home because she was "too tired". She was able to control things by always threatening to go to court and make me a weekend father. I didn't want to risk that happening to me or my son, so I tried to make it work.

But at one point, it just wasn't worth it. I couldn't take it anymore, and it was time to end it. But I wasn't about to leave my son behind. So I took control of the situation. When I packed up and left, I packed up his stuff and took it with me. I took control of the situation. If she wanted to go to court, I was all for it. I had a lot of people, including her own parents, who would have backed up my claims. So I know that I would have won in court.

When I took control, she was pissed at first, but she knew that she didn't want to be a single mother. She backed off. We've had blowups since then, but we haven't had to go to court, and he still lives with me. When she gets into one of those moods she'll try to start some BS, but I always hold my ground and pretty much put her in her place. So now she doesn't bug me as much.

So my advice to you is to stop letting her control the situation. Go for it all. Go for full custidy. Don't let her tell you how things are going to be. Because she isn't thinking about your child. She's thinking about herself, and she's just doing it to hurt you. My ex tried to stick it to me all the time. She even told me that she was moving out of the state and that I wouldn't get to see him anymore.

You have rights, and you seem like you actually want to be a father. I can only go by what you've said here, but it seems like she doesn't want to be a full time mother. If she's always dropping him off at her parents or someplace else, she doesn't want to be a mother. That's how my ex is. When she has our son, he always ends up at her parents house. I don't mind that, because I rather he'd be at her parents house than with her all day. But that just shows that she's doing her own thing.

You need to bring that up in court. That she isn't being a full time mother, and that she is just using your child as a pawn to stick it to you. If you want to be a full time father, and not just a babysitter, you need to say that and go after as much as you can get.

Take control of the situation and you'll be doing what is right for you child, and you will be doing your ex a favor. She doesn't want the responsibilty, so just take it from her.

[Jason in LA]

Hell yeah Garcia!!! That's the spirit.

This is how fkd up judges are.

I was starting my junior year of college when I kicked my psycho ex out. We tried to make things cool, 6 months there, 6 months with me. I drove from Denver to Socal one weekend a month for the first 4 months and called every day to talk to my boy. Well calling everyday I was talking to my son's aunt who told my about his mom getting into some bad habits with drugs and stuff.

So I immediately drive out, got emergency custody, and took my son back to Denver with me. Divorce finally comes around to the courts, and I show up with my son. I tell judge that she is using hard drugs and is all jacked up, Judge asks her and she totally admits it. Judge still says she deserves visitation and basically forced 9 months with me, summers with her. WTF is that BS. Well she fell off the face of the planet thank god and never contacted us since.

I've been a single parent for the last 6 years, (nick turned 9 today!!!) and couldn't be happier. Lucky for me she hasn't bothered to contact us. I could go for full custody, child support, and say she abandoned or whatever, but it's to risky because I'd rather have her out of his life completely. But once he is 16 and able to make his own choices, I am going after every $ I can get in back child support!

My advice to you is to go after as much time as you can. Those hours seem really strange to me, Friday mornings? What is up with that?

How about you have him Weds night through Saturday morning? Anyway, good luck man.

As a single parent dad don't sweat hooking back up, I've been a single parent for so long and pulled more than I knew what to do with. Take the high road with the ex, get back on that horse and break off a couple freaks and you'll forget all about your ex.

Jukemaster and Jukemaster Jr.

That's good to here that you were able to get your son. It looks like things have worked out for the best. My ex hasn't totally disappeared, but part of me wouldn't mind if she did. I have my son nearly every night, and she sees him when ever she feels like it. She picks him up from school every now and then, and then I'll pick him up that evening. Some weekends she'll do something with him. I don't totally object to it because he still does love his mother, and I wouldn't split them up. But I think that he likes her better now that he doesn't have to deal with her everyday. It's easier to deal with her in short periods of time. And she knows that the time she'll have with him is short, so she won't act like an ass. But I wouldn't consider what she is doing as a parent. She's more of an aunt. She babysits every now and them. But I do the bulk of the parenting. If she just went away for good he would still have everything that he needs. He would rather live with me than with her. Just look at him, why wouldn't he want to live with me. ;D

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y19/Jlewis3233/JasonJr-1.jpg

[Garcia Bronco]

I don't think anyone should presume what a class running late might mean. Does neither a teacher or a student ever stay after scheduled time for help or to be helped?

As far as the woman having a boyfriend. So what? Like it or not, life goes on. Unless there is evidence the boyfriend is in someway harmful to the child following her around and taking pictures of her at his house does what? Make the guy look like a pyscho stalker? The grandparents are involved? So what? Is there evidence they are harming the child?

Nobody here has a clue what this relationship was about, or why it is ending.

The best thing to do is be mature, be positive, treat his "ex" the way he would like his "ex" to treat him and set the better example. Resorting to hysterical and dramatic tactics are not going to be looked upon kindly by the courts.

Take care of your son, protect him from real harm. Expect all the adults in his life to do the same. If they do not, that is what needs to be addressed.

running late and help from a teacher are two different things. Either way...it's a lie

[Garcia Bronco]

I don't know either you or your wife. I know she is having no opportunity to present her side of this story.

.

Why bother...all she would do is lie any way.

[Bronco_Beerslug]

Why bother...all she would do is lie any way.I still can't figure out why you aren't married yet Garcia. :kiddingme

[Jason in LA]

I don't think anyone should presume what a class running late might mean. Does neither a teacher or a student ever stay after scheduled time for help or to be helped?

As far as the woman having a boyfriend. So what? Like it or not, life goes on. Unless there is evidence the boyfriend is in someway harmful to the child following her around and taking pictures of her at his house does what? Make the guy look like a pyscho stalker? The grandparents are involved? So what? Is there evidence they are harming the child?

Nobody here has a clue what this relationship was about, or why it is ending.

The best thing to do is be mature, be positive, treat his "ex" the way he would like his "ex" to treat him and set the better example. Resorting to hysterical and dramatic tactics are not going to be looked upon kindly by the courts.

Take care of your son, protect him from real harm. Expect all the adults in his life to do the same. If they do not, that is what needs to be addressed.

Sure, we are jumping to conclutions a bit, but we are going by what DB is telling us. Some of us have been through this same exact thing.

According to DB, this woman is trying to keep his child away from him, and there doesn't seem to be a valid reason for it. Now she has a new boyfriend, and according to DB, she leaves the child with him so she can go out and get drunk (I believe that is what he wrote). And according to DB, she always has a boyfriend. Sounds like she needs attension.

All the signs are there. If what DB is telling us is the truth, what other conclustion are we supposed to come up with? Would you come up with a different conclustion?

If my ex were to tell her side of the story it would be a lot different from what I've said. But nobody that knows the situation would believe a word of what she would have to say.

DB sounds like he's telling the truth. What would be his reasons for lying? Hell, he brought the whole thing up.

[Old Dude]

... It's awesome to hear that a single dad actually wants to be with his kid so much.

I have an extra kid I'd be willing to loan out to anyone who wants the experience.

He'll be 23 next week, so you can even leave him alone in the house once in awhile, so long as you lock up the fridge and hide all the booze.

[Garcia Bronco]

I believe DB...why would he come to what amounts to an anomomous forum and lie...to himself.

[DBroncos4life]

Deep down she is a great girl, but for whatever reason after we split up she became someone else. She wanted to leave me once before but the other guy didn't want her like that. She was doing this behind my back. Then she found this guy. Thats how she has always been. I picked my kid up on Sunday and her dad was doing all he could to push my buttons about this, which sucks. It was right infront of my kid. She told her dad that I GRABBED her at the bar when I saw her there. Too bad it was the other way around and I have a wittness to the whole thing. She's lying to everyone about whats going on and I really believe she thinks what she is saying is true.

[Garcia Bronco]

Deep down she is a great girl, but for whatever reason after we split up she became someone else. She wanted to leave me once before but the other guy didn't want her like that. She was doing this behind my back. Then she found this guy. Thats how she has always been. I picked my kid up on Sunday and her dad was doing all he could to push my buttons about this, which sucks. It was right infront of my kid. She told her dad that I GRABBED her at the bar when I saw her there. Too bad it was the other way around and I have a wittness to the whole thing. She's lying to everyone about whats going on and I really believe she thinks what she is saying is true.

Her Dad sounds like POS....keep it cool around them...don't give them any ammo.

[Jason in LA]

I've went through some of that with my ex. She tried to convince people that I was the bad guy. But her own family did not believe her. She made up all kind of stuff, but they had known me for years, and knew that I had never done her wrong. Her own mother would tell me that I needed to leave and take my son with me.

My advice would be for you to take control here. I know it's a lot easier said then done, but you do have rights. I don't know if you want to be a full time, single dad, but if you do, or if you want to be an equal parent, you can't let her control the situation. She does not have the right to control the situation. She can't tell you when you can see him.

When I left and took my son with me I had the control. Legally she could not take him from me. Lucky for me she did not put up much of a fight, and we have not had to go to court. I have been totally fair with her. She has access to our son when ever she wants. I have never turned her down. But if I had left him behind, and she had control, there is no way in hell that she would of been fair to me. She would not have let me see him.

You have to do what's right for your child. And that's taking him out of a situation where he's being used as a pawn, and being dropped off at different places.

I hope everything works out for you guys.

[Jason in LA]

One more thing, maybe you should talk to her parents. Let them know what's really going on. They know their daughter, and it probably wouldn't surprise them if they heard the truth. Maybe they'll help you out a little bit. Having my ex's parents on my side helped me out a lot.