The Mane opportunity to improve the team

[elsid13]

I figure we need to have some fun, it is the holiday season.

Let say that old Pat fired Shanahan and the rest of the staff (BarryIAMAloser is now having organism) and decided to replace the staff with folks from the Orangemane, (scary I know). Fill in the Poster and the position that you think would lead the team to ultimate victory or at least make the best Must See TV in the league

The positions:

Head Coach
Offensive Coordinator
Defense Coordinator
ST
GM/Head Scout
The "NEW" Fred

Record
Most likely thing to happen.
Player they would sign/draft
And other crap that will make me laugh.

[oubronco]

larry, moe, and curly

[ludo21]

Head Coach - Mediator
Offensive Coordinator - SoCal
Defense Coordinator - Popps
ST - Big Guy
GM/Head Scout - Bronco Billy
The "NEW" Fred - Old Dude - those kids would NEVER cross the line wiith OD strolling the sidelines!! :rofl:

Record - 14-2 ;D Optimism never hurt
Most likely thing to happen. - OM explodes from excitement
Player they would sign/draft - Gaines Adams
And other crap that will make me laugh. - Bob is the teams water boy

[24champ]

The positions:

Head Coach- Taco
Offensive Coordinator- Kaylore
Defense Coordinator- Mediator
ST- Rascal
GM- Popps
Head Scout- SOCAL
The "NEW" Fred- Mock
Team Spokesman- Wabbit
Cheerleading evaluator- Me.LOL
Trainer- Dr. Broncostein
Traveling Guru- Spider
Head of Security- Hotrod

Record 13-3
Most likely thing to happen- Broncos win superbowl
Player they would sign/draft- Probably look hard to shore up the defensive line and find a replacement for Foster at the tackle position. Also would sign/draft a potential everydown RB. I know everyone is going to laugh at the Taco/Popps pairing but they would get along I think. Socal would bug Popps to trade down to get more picks.

[OrangeShadow]

great thread idea elsid

Head Coach - TJ
Offensive Coordinator -Kaylore
Defense Coordinator - Med
ST - Big Guy
GM/Head Scout - Herc
The "NEW" Fred - Old Dude

Record- 15-1
Most likely thing to happen:The site crashes the minute denver wins the SB
Player to sign/draft- Foster would be gone and the DL would be shored up as well as a stud RB.

[Rock Chalk]

I figure we need to have some fun, it is the holiday season.

Let say that old Pat fired Shanahan and the rest of the staff (BarryIAMAloser is now having organism) and decided to replace the staff with folks from the Orangemane, (scary I know). Fill in the Poster and the position that you think would lead the team to ultimate victory or at least make the best Must See TV in the league

The positions:

Head Coach
Offensive Coordinator
Defense Coordinator
ST
GM/Head Scout
The "NEW" Fred

Record
Most likely thing to happen.
Player they would sign/draft
And other crap that will make me laugh.

HC: Me
OC: SoCal
DC: Popps
ST: -Slap-
GM/Head Scout/Cap Manager: Herc
The New Fred: Pezman
Record: Undefeated
Most Likely Thing To Happen: Win superbowl 10 years in a row

[24champ]

HC: Me
OC: SoCal
DC: Popps
ST: -Slap-
GM/Head Scout/Cap Manager: Herc
The New Fred: Pezman
Record: Undefeated
Most Likely Thing To Happen: Win superbowl 10 years in a row

I don't know why I didn't put you up as the new fred, you would be a great fred replacement.

[Rascal]

Give me the o-line and d-line. Bastards will learn proper technique or die.

[24champ]

Give me the o-line and d-line. Bastards will learn proper technique or die.

I put you on Special Teams because you would teach them to block better and make them not fumble on KO.

[Kaylore]

Hmmmm. This will be fun. I'll do it from the top.


Owner: Pat Bowlen ;D - duh
GM: Hercules Rockefeller, though SoCal will be on his scouting staff


Head Coach: Me. Because who wouldn't pick themselves?
DC: -Slap- You need to have someone who gets pissed off and likes mean, pysical football here. I didn't pick mediator initially because he is a shrink and I'd rather have someone who gets pissed off at crap right away than someone who "understands".
OC:SoCal - because he understands coverages and football in general
St: I'll put Mediator here. He played soccer so that will help teaching people form in kicking.

OFFENSE
QB Coach: Taco. He likes to follow this position.
Receivers: Blueflame. She could probably fill in anywhere, actually.
Offensive line: Alec - I think this is also a position that requires someone to have a mean streak and yet be intelligent.
Running Backs: Anthony Pacino
Tight Ends: Old Dude - He just seems like he'd fit here.

DEFENSE:
Defensive Line: Big Guy - His very name demands it!
Linebackers: Tredici - I bet she'd make sure there'd be no Sloppy tackling and she'd work well with -Slap-
Defensive Basks:24ChampBailey, with Oskie as an assistant.

Strength and Conditioning: Pezman because how funny would that be?
Training staff: Dr. Broncostein
Fred:Hotrod. ROFL!

Director of Pro personnel: Clockwork Orange.
College Scouting: SoCal, WaBronco, Clockwork Orange and ApaOps5

Public Relations: Orange 4 Life
Parking at Invesco: Meck - Then we'd see some real parking changes!
Equipment Manager:Philly Broncos Nut

Head of Cheerleaders:Jason in LA because then he'd owe me a life boon.

Turf Operations: Rascal - Because he lives and dies by it. :D

Janitorial Duties: Mock

We would a creative, run oriented offense and a very big physical defense. Our special teams would be pretty good because they would all be mentally very stable people. Our drafts would be glorious and we'd always be under the cap.

The stadium would be filled with crazy tailgating events, and the turf would look marvelous!:thumbs:

[elsid13]

Head Coach - Elsid13, with little work his ego will make Belick look humble
Offensive Coordinator - Mock, I dare any DC in the league to figure what coming next,
Line coach -Rascal
Defense Coordinator - TJ/Popps - co-DCs I just to see who they blame when someone catches the ball
ST- Big Guy - the name says it all
GMs the EGIB (or whatever the call themselves), women are so much better then men finding a bargain and they love to shop ;D
Head Scout College- Socal
Communication Director -Khan - Mason ass is fired
The "NEW" Fred- Hotrod = shinny redneck with a Gun prowling the sidelines
New Head Cheerleader- Pez, show some freaking leg boy
Community outreach = Spider, he already has the love of the Faider and Chef fans, way not the rest of the league

Record 21-0 heck like this staff would lose

Most likely thing to happen. Elsid13 holding up a signs at NarrowHead that read: "Gunther here comes the Bootleg" and "Sperm, Do you really want to call TO???"

Player they would sign/draft I pull a Ricky Williams to get Adams and Peterson

And other crap that will make me laugh. I'm ditching the Cheerleader calender for pictures of Hotrod, Pez and Spider in Speedos.

[Kaylore]

Head Coach - Elsid13, with little work his ego will make Belick look humble
Offensive Coordinator - Mock, I dare any DC in the league to figure what coming next,
Line coach -Rascal
Defense Coordinator - TJ/Popps - co-DCs I just to see who they blame when someone catches the ball
ST- Big Guy - the name says it all
GMs the EGIB (or whatever the call themselves), women are so much better then finding a bargain and they love to shop ;D
Head Scout College- Socal
Communication Director -Khan - Mason ass is fired
The "NEW" Fred- Hotrod = shinny redneck with a Gun prowling the sidelines
New Head Cheerleader- Pez, show some freaking leg boy
Community outreach = Spider, he already has the love of the Faider and Chef fans, way not the rest of the league

Record 21-0 heck like this staff won't loss

Most likely thing to happen. Elsid13 holding up a signs at NarrowHead that read: "Gunther here comes the Bootleg" and "Sperm, Do you really want to call TO???"

Player they would sign/draft I pull a Ricky Williams to get Adams and Peterson

And other crap that will make me laugh. I'm ditching the Cheerleader calender for pictures of Hotrod, Pez and Spider in Speedos.
ROFL! That's a great one.

[Rock Chalk]

Hmmmm. This will be fun. I'll do it from the top.


Owner: Pat Bowlen ;D - duh
GM: Hercules Rockefeller, though SoCal will be on his scouting staff

I think Herc could do wonders for the Broncos.

Head Coach: Me. Because who wouldn't pick themselves?
DC: -Slap- You need to have someone who gets pissed off and likes mean, pysical football here. I didn't pick mediator initially because he is a shrink and I'd rather have someone who gets pissed off at crap right away than someone who "understands".
OC:SoCal - because he understands coverages and football in general
St: I'll put Mediator here. He played soccer so that will help teaching people form in kicking.

Umm, I picked myself, so I can go with your train of thought on HC. I dont agree, but I'll roll with it. Slap is a good DC choice, though Im not sold on SoCal as the OC. Id have SoCal as the Secondary Coach and put you at OC of course, then Id have to take the HC job.

OFFENSE
QB Coach: Taco. He likes to follow this position.
Receivers: Blueflame. She could probably fill in anywhere, actually.
Offensive line: Alec - I think this is also a position that requires someone to have a mean streak and yet be intelligent.
Running Backs: Anthony Pacino
Tight Ends: Old Dude - He just seems like he'd fit here.

Taco should not be allowed anywhere near anyone. Umm, I love Blue and all, but Im not sure why you picked her for Receivers coach. Id make a good O-line coach if I was allowed to pick my own personell. I'd take a page out of the Replacements and get some Sumo wrestlers because thats EXACTLY what they do. Plus, they are a helluva lot faster than most people realize.

DEFENSE:
Defensive Line: Big Guy - His very name demands it!
Linebackers: Tredici - I bet she'd make sure there'd be no Sloppy tackling and she'd work well with -Slap-
Defensive Basks:24ChampBailey, with Oskie as an assistant.

Dline would HAVE to go to Popps. He'd get our pass rush resolved, quickly, especially with Herc and SoCal managing the scouting. Tredici can have any spot she wants on my staff. 24Champ...too young, but he could be the assistant with OSKIE the main DB coach.

Strength and Conditioning: Pezman because how funny would that be?
Training staff: Dr. Broncostein
Fred:Hotrod. ROFL!

Actually, Im thinking zdoor might be a good S&C coach. Dude's a monster. Cant go wrong with the Doc. My Fred though, upon further review, would have to be quiettiger. Dude's been in Iraq for like 2 years or something. He wouldnt tolerate any ****.

Director of Pro personnel: Clockwork Orange.
College Scouting: SoCal, WaBronco, Clockwork Orange and ApaOps5

Excelllent.

Public Relations: Orange 4 Life
Parking at Invesco: Meck - Then we'd see some real parking changes!
Equipment Manager:Philly Broncos Nut

Again, excellent.

Head of Cheerleaders:Jason in LA because then he'd owe me a life boon.

Turf Operations: Rascal - Because he lives and dies by it. :D

Janitorial Duties: Mock

Jason in LA can be head of security, I get head from cheerleaders ;D

We would a creative, run oriented offense and a very big physical defense. Our special teams would be pretty good because they would all be mentally very stable people. Our drafts would be glorious and we'd always be under the cap.

The stadium would be filled with crazy tailgating events, and the turf would look marvelous!:thumbs:
Agreed

[Rascal]

I think Mock with a bottle of whiskey would make the ideal fred. The people would be so scared of him nobody would come to watch. Or have Alec on top of a deer stand with a collection of rifles and tell him that anybody not a member of the Broncos is trying to steal is stash of pot.

And the media consultant should be Hulamua because nobody would have the patience to read his 1000 page resposnes.

[Rascal]

Turf Operations: Rascal - Because he lives and dies by it. :D

The stadium would be filled with crazy tailgating events, and the turf would look marvelous!:thumbs:

LOL!

Anybody steps on my field and bends a blade of grass gets an ass kicking.

[-Slap-]

Owner/Paul Brownlike Team Patriarch - That would be me.

Head Coach - HAT - Knows his football and I don't want any head coach who's not concerned with covering the number.

Offensive Coordinator - BroncoLB52 - Smart as hell. Student of the game. Will never have the team unprepared or intimidated by tough surroundings.

Defense Coordinator - Clockwork Orange - Tough, but fair. His players will conduct themselves like men on and off the field or they'll hit the ****ing bricks.

ST - Old Dude - Consistent and detail oriented. Most ST coaches are rah rah types, but I want someone who will eliminate mistakes and give us the best chance to win each week.

GM - Tredici - She'll never get the worst end of any negotiation and she might allow me to meddle with the team a little bit if I beg her.

Head Scout - Big Guy - You know that defensive back from Middle Tennessee State? Me neither, but Big Guy has seen him play and he knows whether he's any good or not.

[Man-Goblin]

I want to throw my hat in the ring for head cheerleader coach......Just sayin.

[watermock]

Head Coach- mock of course

Offensive Coordinator- Wabbit

Defensive Coodinator- Slappy

Public Relations- Alec

Groundskeeper- Bob

Cheerleading Crew..the EBiggietity's

Owner- Taco John (mock will make all the real decisions) He gets the glory of paying the bills.

Head of scouting- SoCal of course

Security- Beezer (I'm tired of buying his friskies and kitty litter,he needs to get a job),,,Mile High will be mouseproofed. Plus, he's too short to check for concealed pints of kool aid.

ST- Old Dude-no slackers allowed

Secondary Coach- Champ24-name alone gets him the job

Tailgating Duties, Meck77/Disco

Mascot- Orange 4 Life-biggest homer of all time.

Head Medical Field Dr.- Obviously the good Dr. Broncostein

GM-(this is purely a figurehead because I'm running the show...so I need a lackey...need a yes man here...Rascal will do as well as many others...

Oh I forgot about the Man Goblin that will have those cheerleader in lockstep.

After scouting, I let SoCal handle the RB's as well...he called both Gore who was literally a crip...and Chester Taylor...anyone who can pull trash like that and make it work if good enough for me. He gets to pull double duty, but just one paycheck. mock will stick his nose into the running backs as well...well, I'm going to stick my nose into everything actually.

Emergency Director- Dman

[missingnumber7]

I want to know how come no one has thrown out sassy or blueflame for any of these. The league could use a female coach...it would be hilarous.

[watermock]

Hey, I made Man-Goblin head of cheerleaders. The Brigade is our cheerleaders. They get to see the game for free.

[watermock]

Classic moment...remember Sunday night? We are lined up at our one yard line and the cheerleaders were all over the team in the end zone?

You can't make that stuff up.

[theAPAOps5]

Director of Pro personnel: Clockwork Orange.
College Scouting: SoCal, WaBronco, Clockwork Orange and ApaOps5


Yes! I would love to be on College scouting. Nothing like traveling around scouting kids playing their tails off!

[theAPAOps5]

Classic moment...remember Sunday night? We are lined up at our one yard line and the cheerleaders were all over the team in the end zone?

You can't make that stuff up.

With all that happened I totally forgot about that. That was hilarious. The Offense was crammed up on the 1 yd line just looking at the Cheer Leaders as if to say, "Yeah you girls are find and all but please get off the field so we can play!"

[Sassy]

I want to know how come no one has thrown out sassy or blueflame for any of these. The league could use a female coach...it would be hilarous.

Hey now...is that a slam!

[watermock]

Hey, you get to prance around and get into the game for free..stop biatching.

[Sassy]

Hey, you get to prance around and get into the game for free..stop biatching.

You sure are mean in your old age, Mock ROFL!

[watermock]

With all that happened I totally forgot about that. That was hilarious. The Offense was crammed up on the 1 yd line just looking at the Cheer Leaders as if to say, "Yeah you girls are find and all but please get off the field so we can play!"

WTF? Where were they supposed to even huddle up at? Under their skimpy skirts? I guess they had their snow bunny outfits on because of the cold, but please. We got a game to play girlies?

[Killericon]

Can I be a ticket vendor?

[24champ]

Since I have mentioned as possible DB coach, I'm going to make sure we don't play 10 yards off the recievers.:pimp:

[Kaylore]

I'd take a page out of the Replacements and get some Sumo wrestlers because thats EXACTLY what they do. Plus, they are a helluva lot faster than most people realize.
LOL


Actually, Im thinking zdoor might be a good S&C coach. Dude's a monster.
I had no idea.
My Fred though, upon further review, would have to be quiettiger. Dude's been in Iraq for like 2 years or something. He wouldnt tolerate any ****.
I actually considered that, but then I went with the funnier option.

[Crushaholic]

Head Coach: Mediator
Offensive Coordinator: SoCal Bronco
Defense Coordinator: Rascal
ST: Popps
GM/Head Scout: Big Guy
The "NEW" Fred: Alec

Record: 16-0
Most likely thing to happen: Bob will constantly try to crash Dove Valley. Alec will have to "take care" of the situation in his own way...

[Popps]

Fun thread. I can't pick a staff because there are so many deserving posters, I'd be doing too many an injustice.

I'd like to throw my hat in the ring as "Image Coordinator," though.

I'd have this team back in orange jerseys before I received my first paycheck.

That's just for starters!

[OrangeShadow]

this was an awesome idea for a thread

[watermock]

I forgot a few people...Kaylore is our James Bond....in charge of espionage...

Sassy is given a whip to chase the Man Goblin around.

I haven't completely filled out the fromt office yet.

Popps can be uniform coodrinator. I'm sure he can convert from his hair dressing job.

[clarkster]

can i sell beer and assist the turf guy?

[broncoblue]

i could be anger management coach....failing that any cheerleaders bar of soap

[Rohirrim]

Head Coach: Me
Offensive Coordinator: Me
Defense Coordinator: Me
ST: Me
GM/Head Scout: Me
The "NEW" Fred: Mock
Record: 16-0
Most likely thing to happen: All I can say is WISHBONE!!!! ;D

[watermock]

I don't think I would make a good Fred...I would either have fans in a chain gang or letting the inmates run the assylum...depending on my mood.

[TheDave]

Head Coach- TJ - He's pretty mush the head coach around here... it would be an easy transition

Offensive Coordinator- SoCal- mans got the terminology down time to use it.

Defensive Coodinator- Mediator - Just want to see how he handles popps ripping him a new one everyday

Public Relations- Alec - EVERY press confrence would break ratings records

Groundskeeper- Rascal - no more turf updates needed

Owner- Pat Bowlen - just too easy

Security- Garcia - Let the Bannings begin

Special Teams - Popps - Just want to see how he handles Med ripping him a new one every day

Trainer - ME - in all due respect to the good doctor... he aint gonna get the "supplements" needed to win the big dance

GM-Footsteps - if he is half as good at negotiating contracts as he is with internet arguments the salary cap will never be an issue.

Record 0-4 to start ... gonna take some time to t"tweak" the "suppleemts"... after that 12-0

Superbowl ends up 56-10 over San Fran :)

[Garcia Bronco]

I would want to be in charge of getting fans riled up at the Stadium...music and such

[Billy Clyde Puckett]

Well one of the ways the Mane could improve the Broncos record is to install our very own trolls as coaches of the opposing teams.

For the Squaws, Bob would have to be the "Head" coach. I'm sure he would want his guy Jr. Savaii as his QB. Crazy and Iowan would share both the OC and DC coordinator postitions. They know everything and wouldn't need any other assistants. Carl would be happy with the money he saves on assistants.

For the Chugger, who knows. Thier trolls don't ahng around long enough to be evaluated.

Faiders - no change necessary, but we should all chip in to make sure Greasy Al has a respirator near by. We need him to run that team another 20 years.

[Garcia Bronco]

Well one of the ways the Mane could improve the Broncos record is to install our very own trolls as coaches of the opposing teams.

For the Squaws, Bob would have to be the "Head" coach. I'm sure he would want his guy Jr. Savaii as his QB. Crazy and Iowan would share both the OC and DC coordinator postitions. They know everything and wouldn't need any other assistants. Carl would be happy with the money he saves on assistants.

For the Chugger, who knows. Thier trolls don't ahng around long enough to be evaluated.

Faiders - no change necessary, but we should all chip in to make sure Greasy Al has a respirator near by. We need him to run that team another 20 years.

Somebody get Al Davis the blood of a virgin

[elsid13]

Somebody get Al Davis the blood of a virgin

Like you will find a virgin in Oakland.

[Garcia Bronco]

Like you will find a virgin in Oakland.
LOL

[24champ]

Like you will find a virgin in Oakland.

No but you can find one in a basement in Texas somewhere.

[broncosteven]

I figure we need to have some fun, it is the holiday season.

Let say that old Pat fired Shanahan and the rest of the staff (BarryIAMAloser is now having organism) and decided to replace the staff with folks from the Orangemane, (scary I know). Fill in the Poster and the position that you think would lead the team to ultimate victory or at least make the best Must See TV in the league

The positions:

Head Coach So-cal
Offensive Coordinator Kahn
Defense Coordinator Med
ST Requim
GM/Head Scout Taco
The "NEW" Fred Mock & Bronx - Bronx needed to prop up Mock & his scoth bottles

Record 1st year 9-7
Most likely thing to happen. D line would get better & George Foster would be given Ring of fame honors.
Player they would sign/draft Any freaking D lineman
And other crap that will make me laugh. Spider would be hired to haul team around in cattle car rig thingy for away games. see above in Organge as Abby would say

[broncosteven]

I figure we need to have some fun, it is the holiday season.

Let say that old Pat fired Shanahan and the rest of the staff (BarryIAMAloser is now having organism) and decided to replace the staff with folks from the Orangemane, (scary I know). Fill in the Poster and the position that you think would lead the team to ultimate victory or at least make the best Must See TV in the league

The positions:

Head Coach So-cal
Offensive Coordinator Kahn
Defense Coordinator Med
ST Requim
GM/Head Scout Taco
The "NEW" Fred Mock & Bronx - Bronx needed to prop up Mock & his scoth bottles

Record 1st year 9-7
Most likely thing to happen. D line would get better & George Foster would be given Ring of fame honors.
Player they would sign/draft Any freaking D lineman
And other crap that will make me laugh. Spider would be hired to haul team around in cattle car rig thingy for away games. see above in Organge as Abby would say

I just fired Taco & hired Slap! My record jumped to 12-4!

[Bronx33]

Head Coach- mock of course

Offensive Coordinator- Wabbit

Defensive Coodinator- Slappy

Public Relations- Alec

Groundskeeper- Bob

Cheerleading Crew..the EBiggietity's

Owner- Taco John (mock will make all the real decisions) He gets the glory of paying the bills.

Head of scouting- SoCal of course

Security- Beezer (I'm tired of buying his friskies and kitty litter,he needs to get a job),,,Mile High will be mouseproofed. Plus, he's too short to check for concealed pints of kool aid.

ST- Old Dude-no slackers allowed

Secondary Coach- Champ24-name alone gets him the job

Tailgating Duties, Meck77/Disco

Mascot- Orange 4 Life-biggest homer of all time.

Head Medical Field Dr.- Obviously the good Dr. Broncostein

GM-(this is purely a figurehead because I'm running the show...so I need a lackey...need a yes man here...Rascal will do as well as many others...

Oh I forgot about the Man Goblin that will have those cheerleader in lockstep.

After scouting, I let SoCal handle the RB's as well...he called both Gore who was literally a crip...and Chester Taylor...anyone who can pull trash like that and make it work if good enough for me. He gets to pull double duty, but just one paycheck. mock will stick his nose into the running backs as well...well, I'm going to stick my nose into everything actually.

Emergency Director- Dman



Even grounds keepers get laid so bob in under qualified.

[broncosteven]

I figure we need to have some fun, it is the holiday season.

Let say that old Pat fired Shanahan and the rest of the staff (BarryIAMAloser is now having organism) and decided to replace the staff with folks from the Orangemane, (scary I know). Fill in the Poster and the position that you think would lead the team to ultimate victory or at least make the best Must See TV in the league

The positions:

Head Coach So-cal
Offensive Coordinator Kahn
Defense Coordinator Med
ST Requim
GM/Head Scout Taco
The "NEW" Fred Mock & Bronx - Bronx needed to prop up Mock & his scoth bottles

Record 1st year 9-7
Most likely thing to happen. D line would get better & George Foster would be given Ring of fame honors.
Player they would sign/draft Any freaking D lineman
And other crap that will make me laugh. Spider would be hired to haul team around in cattle car rig thingy for away games. see above in Organge as Abby would say

I fired So cal for losing to LA Colts in SB.

I hired myself as Coach

Med quit in week 6 followed by Kahn in week 7 after I kept asking him to throw the flea flicker to the TE Mustard on every 3rd down. !

I had to hire Boob as the DC (GOOTHER Baby!) & Crazyhorse as the OC. The KFC season was done by this time so they were doing nothing anyway.

I finished 2008 with a 4-12 campaign : (

[heydensmom]

LMAO this is some funny stuff right here!

[elsid13]

Off season fun bump