So, I hate to steal jokes from Jay Leno, but...

[RhymesayersDU]

"So in other news, Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Terell Owens reportedly tried to kill himself last night. Now see, I just don't believe this. I mean, if he played for the Oakland Raiders, then it would be more possible..."

Kinda mangled, but he just said it on his show tonight. And who doesn't like shots at the Faid?

[Clockwork Orange]

I'll bet that Bill Parcells would be happy to finish the job for Owens right about now.