Rohirrim
09-27-2006, 08:26 AM
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and
then - just to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another,
and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone -
"to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became
more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.
That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off the
TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life.
She spent that night at her mother's.
I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't
mix, but I couldn't help myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so
I could read Thoreau, Muir, Confucius and Kafka. I would return to the office
dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing
here?"
One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts
me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't
stop thinking around here, you'll have to find another job."
This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation
with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking "
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"
"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as
college professors and college professors don't make any money,
so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"
"That's a faulty syllogism," I said
impatiently.
She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to
deal with the emotional drama. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I
stomped out the door.
I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into
the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors.
They didn't open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a
Higher Power was looking out for me that night.
Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster
caught my eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.
You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers
Anonymous poster. This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.
I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational
video; last week it was "Porky's." Next week it's "Career in Marketing."
Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last
meeting.
I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed...
easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. I think the road to recovery
is nearly complete for me. Today I took the final step............ I joined the
Republican Party.
;D
then - just to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another,
and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone -
"to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became
more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.
That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off the
TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life.
She spent that night at her mother's.
I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't
mix, but I couldn't help myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so
I could read Thoreau, Muir, Confucius and Kafka. I would return to the office
dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing
here?"
One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts
me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't
stop thinking around here, you'll have to find another job."
This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation
with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking "
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"
"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as
college professors and college professors don't make any money,
so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"
"That's a faulty syllogism," I said
impatiently.
She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to
deal with the emotional drama. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I
stomped out the door.
I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into
the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors.
They didn't open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a
Higher Power was looking out for me that night.
Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster
caught my eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.
You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers
Anonymous poster. This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.
I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational
video; last week it was "Porky's." Next week it's "Career in Marketing."
Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last
meeting.
I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed...
easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. I think the road to recovery
is nearly complete for me. Today I took the final step............ I joined the
Republican Party.
;D