View Full Version : Truly Tasteless Jokes
BroncoInferno
09-22-2006, 09:55 AM
Post 'em if you got 'em. The more tasteless the better.
Here's two to start off:
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.
BroncoInferno
09-22-2006, 10:04 AM
What's Helen Keller's favorite color?
Corduroy.
BroncoInferno
09-22-2006, 10:05 AM
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
She needs the other one to moan with.
BroncoInferno
09-22-2006, 10:07 AM
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
When is it bed time at Michael Jackson's house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
BroncoInferno
09-22-2006, 10:07 AM
So a baby seal walks into a club......
BroncoInferno
09-22-2006, 10:10 AM
Why did the Siamese twins go to England?
So the other one could drive.
(I apologize for the lack of political correctness in this joke. If anybody was offended by the term "Siamese twins," I can change it to "conjoined twins.")
BroncoInferno
09-22-2006, 10:11 AM
What do Princess Di and Pink Floyd have in common?
Both of their greatest hits were the "The Wall."
ludo21
09-22-2006, 10:36 AM
What do you say to your women with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
L.A. BRONCOS FAN
09-24-2006, 05:51 AM
Why did Michael Jackson go to K-Mart?
He heard little boys' pants were half off.
L.A. BRONCOS FAN
09-24-2006, 05:59 AM
I just bought a new car stereo. When you shout out "soul", it plays soul music. When you shout out "rock," it plays rock music. Some kids ran in front of my car, and I shouted "f_cking kids!," and it played Michael Jackson.
:D
Q: Why does Michael Jackson have a tough guy reputation?
A: He has licked every kid possible.
:D
Q: What do Michael Jackson and Dr. Spock have in common?
A: They both know how to rear a child.
:D
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan?
A: One is in the Minors, the other is into Minors.
:D
Q: Why does Michael Jackson want to move to Ohio?
A: He heard there's a Youngstown there.
:D
Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year old boyfriends?
A: Because there are twenty of them!
rbackfactory80
09-28-2006, 05:11 PM
How do you know your wife has had a good orgasm?
You see my car in the driveway when you come home from work.
Orange_Beard
09-29-2006, 03:12 PM
Jackass 2.
L.A. BRONCOS FAN
09-30-2006, 01:16 AM
How do you know your wife has had a good orgasm?
You see my car in the driveway when you come home from work.
:giggle:
gunns
09-30-2006, 03:01 PM
Whats the hardest part about eating a Vegetable?
A: Getting her out of the wheelchair
--------
What is the difference between acne and a priest?
acne doesnt come on your face till your at least 13!
______________
why do women have legs?
so they dont leave a snail trail
______________
A guy went to a Tattoo parlor.
"I want you to Tattoo a $100 dollar bill on my dick.
"Wow dude" said the Tattoo artist " I'll do that one for free, but you gotta' tell me why.."
The guy said "because I like to play with my money, and I like to watch it grow. And if my wife wants to blow a hundred dollars I unzip my pants and say here you go!"
-Slap-
10-01-2006, 12:41 AM
Q - What's 18 inches long and makes women scream?
A - Crib death.
L.A. BRONCOS FAN
10-01-2006, 02:27 AM
What is the difference between acne and a priest?
acne doesnt come on your face till your at least 13!
:giggle:
Clockwork Orange
10-01-2006, 02:47 AM
A lady walks into a sex shop, goes up to the clerk and asks, "Where do you keep the dildos?" The clerk points and says, "Over there on that wall." She looks over at the wall for a second, points and says, "I'll take that red one." The clerk looks up and says "No maam, they're on the wall next to the fire extinguisher."
-Slap-
10-01-2006, 03:24 AM
Q - Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A - Ask your Mom.
-Slap-
10-01-2006, 03:33 AM
Mel Brooks said, "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
MechanicalBull
10-04-2006, 04:10 PM
what do michael jackson and mickey mouse have in common?
they are both black with white faces, wear a glove, and love children
http://re3.mm-a6.yimg.com/image/2118191957 (http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A9gnMib4ICRFXBMByAKJzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTBjdmNoOTV jBHBvcwMyBHNlYwNzcg--/SIG=1f5doaus5/EXP=1160082040/**http%3a//images.search.yahoo.com/search/images/view%3fback=http%253A%252F%252Fimages.search.yahoo .com%252Fsearch%252Fimages%253Fp%253Dmickey%252Bmo use%2526ei%253DUTF-8%2526fr%253Dyfp-t-500%2526x%253Dwrt%26w=150%26h=196%26imgurl=www.tva cres.com%252Fimages%252Fhats_mickey3.jpg%26rurl=ht tp%253A%252F%252Fwww.tvacres.com%252Frodents_mice_ mickey.htm%26size=6.8kB%26name=hats_mickey3.jpg%26 p=mickey%2bmouse%26type=jpeg%26no=2%26tt=139,481%2 6oid=d464cfb186a34de0%26ei=UTF-8)
What do you call the fatty tissue that surrounds the vagina?
The woman.
BroncoInferno
10-05-2006, 10:35 AM
What do you call the fatty tissue that surrounds the vagina?
The woman.
Hilarious!