Bills Wish They Googled Jay Cutler Before Draft

[PatsWin2002]

A nice spoof on the Bills. 8')

http://thebrushback.com/billscutler_full.htm

Bills Wish They Googled Jay Cutler Before Draft

ORCHARD PARK, NY--Halfway through the NFL preseason, the rookie quarterback that’s making the biggest impact in the NFL is Denver’s Jay Cutler, who has been accurate and composed in his first two games. Cutler’s performance has prompted some teams to second guess their decision not to select him up in the draft, including the Buffalo Bills, who had only a passing familiarity with the Vanderbilt senior prior to draft day.

After watching Cutler’s impressive performance on Saturday against the Titans, GM Marv Levy wishes he at least googled the guy.

“Wow, I had no idea he was that good,” said Levy, who used his top pick on Ohio State safety Donte Whitner. “I didn’t even know what school he was from. Then I decided to google him and found all this information about how awesome he was in college. Huh. I guess I should have done that before the draft. I also should have googled Donte Whitner, because apparently he isn’t very good.”

Levy and his staff set their sights on Whitner from the get-go and never bothered to research alternatives to the mediocre safety. In the future, Levy will utilize the information superhighway in an effort to get an edge on the competition.

“The internet really is a wonderful tool,” Levy said. “All the information is right there at your fingertips. Did you know that Cutler was projected to go in the top 5 in almost every mock draft? He was. I googled his name myself. I googled the names of several players and got all kinds of information. Then I googled my own name. Ahem. Let’s just say there is such a thing as too much information. I think I’m getting a restraining order against the entire city of Buffalo.”

By passing on Cutler, the Bills left their quarterback situation largely unresolved. J.P. Losman is the favorite to win the starting job, but he has been inconsistent thus far and might not be a long term solution.

The Bills also passed on star USC quarterback Matt Leinart, because they didn’t think he was the right fit for their system.

“We saw a lot of Matt during his career at USC, so I guess we can’t say we didn’t have enough information,” Levy said. “It’s just that he didn’t seem like the right guy for the job. We didn’t want some flashy, overhyped kid coming in here whizzing touchdown passes all over the place like some big franchise quarterback. Please. Super Bowls are won in the trenches. That’s why we spent a fifth round pick on an offensive tackle.”

The Bills aren’t the only team who passed up on Jay Cutler. The Oakland Raiders, who had recently released QB Kerry Collins, used their pick on a safety Michael Huff. The Detroit Lions, having jettisoned QB Joey Harrington, took linebacker Ernie Sims. So why the bias against Cutler? One scout says that all the hype may have simply backfired.

“A lot of these guys just thought Cutler was one of those kids that flew up the draft board just because everybody was jumping on the bandwagon,” the scout said. “You can’t blame them for being skeptical. On the other hand, if you’re desperate for a quarterback it seems kind of strange to pass over the two best ones when they fall into your lap. I guess I’m just from the old school, when you used the draft to address your weaknesses, not to **** up the whole franchise.”

Despite being passed up by ten teams, Cutler wasn’t surprised or disappointed on draft day. Instead he is grateful to be with the Denver Broncos and eager to prove the doubters wrong.

“Things happen. I had no idea where I was going to go anyway,” Cutler told reporters Monday. “I actually visited with the Bills before the draft and they were very polite and wished me luck, but they didn’t seem too serious about drafting me. Marv Levy peeked into the meeting and waved and called me ‘Jay Cutter’ and then took off. The rest of the scouts were like ‘eh.’ So I guess it’s up to me to prove them wrong. Actually I don’t even have to do anything. I can just sit back and let J.P. Losman prove them wrong. And Donte Whitner.”

[bendog]

Levy is outdoing A$ for senilty and Millen for dumbness. Though in A$'s case, his record is winning without a steller qb. The qb's been a cog, just as with Gibbs. Seeing Brooks in NOLA so much, I'm convinced he's a loser. Cutler I thought had a chance to be equal to Eli Manning in the pros, cause he was about equal in skills in the SEC. But, Oak can't seem to buy a safety.

Levy apparantly didn't even know what school Cutler went to. Maybe he's being ironic after seeing the Louseman / Holcome competition on who sucks worse.

[Arkansas Bronco]

There is no way Marv Levy said that. Everyone and there mother knew who the top 3 QB's in this draft were and certainly knew where they went to school along with all info on them. I thought it was a funny article. I guess they found a bum with the name Marv and interviewed him.

[PatsWin2002]

There is no way Marv Levy said that. Everyone and there mother knew who the top 3 QB's in this draft were and certainly knew where they went to school along with all info on them. I thought it was a funny article. I guess they found a bum with the name Marv and interviewed him.

Well, it IS a spoof.....a joke.....fiction....whatever you want to call it. :sunshine:

[69bronco]

Denver wanted Donte Witner (according to draft experts on draft day), i'm glad the bills didn't google JAY

[Arkansas Bronco]

Well, it IS a spoof.....a joke.....fiction....whatever you want to call it. :sunshine:
Ha! I skiped over the top line (always do cause it is usaly just introducing it).

[ludo21]

Brushback always has fake stories guys, it just for fun.

Especially this part.

I guess I’m just from the old school, when you used the draft to address your weaknesses, not to **** up the whole franchise

[Pezman]

FWIW, that site has eleventy-billion times more credibility that PFT! Great read Patswin Ha!

[UKBronco]

There should be a big banner at the top of this saying:

"WARNING; PARODY AHEAD - ENTER AT OWN RISK"

And i though us Bronco fans were supposed to be a switched on bunch! ;)

Thickos! ;)



Edited for spelling :kiddingme

[bendog]

Well, ****, I'd just responded to Alec, so my ability to detect irony and humor was shot.

[Tredici]

"I also should've googled Donte Whitner, because apparently he isn't very good".

That was funny. And if you still thought it was Marv Levy after reading that sentence better start taking some Football 101 classes.

[DomCasual]

There is no way Marv Levy said that. Everyone and there mother knew who the top 3 QB's in this draft were and certainly knew where they went to school along with all info on them. I thought it was a funny article. I guess they found a bum with the name Marv and interviewed him.
Ha! You can't put one over on Arkansas_Bronco. You can try, but he'll catch you everytime.

[Arkansas Bronco]

Ha! You can't put one over on Arkansas_Bronco. You can try, but he'll catch you everytime.
LOL I am like the Sherlock Holmes of forum boards.

[denver5459]

I read that article earlier. I love brushback.com. They are hilarious.

[Garcia Bronco]

Wow

[Billy Clyde Puckett]

The only bowl Loser-man will ever take the bills to is the toilet bowl.

[Hogan11]

That is funny....and lemme tell you as one that lives in Western NY, there are a lot of people wondering why they didn't take Cutler or Leinart when they had the chance...needless to say there are lots of very long faces here.

[Tredici]

That is funny....and lemme tell you as one that lives in Western NY, there are a lot of people wondering why they didn't take Cutler or Leinart when they had the chance...needless to say there are lots of very long faces here.

Just tell them it was a foregone conclusion Cutler was going to the Broncos. It's part of the ongoing NFL conspiracy against Al Davis...

[RhymesayersDU]

As if old-as-dirt Marv Levy even knows what Google is!

[MechanicalBull]

Nice Funny Article. I still can't believe they took Whitner that high and then also drafted McCargo towards the end of the first round. Any update on how those two are doing anway?

[Kaylore]

I really enjoy the Brushback and encourage everyone to read their Herm Edwards piece. This was my favorite part of this one:
The rest of the scouts were like ‘eh.’ So I guess it’s up to me to prove them wrong. Actually I don’t even have to do anything. I can just sit back and let J.P. Losman prove them wrong. And Donte Whitner.”

What's funny is they totally reached for both those players. We originally wanted to trade with the Bills, but they didn't on grounds the player they wanted "wouldn't be available". Hilarious!

[Archie]

Classic.... I'm reading this thing going what did I miss - I konw there is no friggen way this happens today (maybe in 1980 - but not today). Then I see the spoof stuff.... I was this close....

[baja]

I did not know Shanny wanted to trade with the Bills wonder who he wanted in that spot. Could it have been Cutler.

[fdf]

"The Bills aren’t the only team who passed up on Jay Cutler. The Oakland Raiders, who had recently released QB Kerry Collins, used their pick on a safety Michael Huff. The Detroit Lions, having jettisoned QB Joey Harrington, took linebacker Ernie Sims. So why the bias against Cutler? One scout says that all the hype may have simply backfired."

Funny. On draft day, I told my brother as the picks were coming in that Oakland and Detroit made our draft by reaching. Hadn't noticed the Titan's boo-boo. Cutler just seemed like such an obvious pick higher than we drafted. We ended up with a lot of good guys on the board when we picked that I didn't think were going to be there.

[watermock]

Spoof or not, it hits the truth. I think Jay has just as much upside as Eli, maybe more. Hey, I didn't know poop about him, I had no idea we might be looking at a QB after the good year Plummer had. I'm sure Jake's poor performance in the Hunt Trophy game might of broken the proverbial camel's back tho. Jake played well, but still makes critical mistakes in critical moments. So far in preseason, he's been stellar. Denver has taken most of the rough edges off him but you can't take the game out of a gambler just like you can take Beezlebub out of the farm, but not the farm out of Beezlebub. I can tell you this much, this house is bulletproof for mice with an elevated block foundation/cement basement and he still polices the area. I'm thrilled with the job we have done recently.

[Man-Goblin]

I did not know Shanny wanted to trade with the Bills wonder who he wanted in that spot. Could it have been Cutler.

A preemptive 'SHHHH' to anyone who wants to say it would have been Leinart. I refuse to believe it's true!

[BroncoBuff]

There is no way Marv Levy said that. Everyone and there mother knew who the top 3 QB's in this draft were and certainly knew where they went to school along with all info on them. I thought it was a funny article. I guess they found a bum with the name Marv and interviewed him.
I gotta agree with you ... and nobody would admit to such raw incompetence, even if it were true. He's a Hall-of-Famer, fer crissake, not a moron.

[Smiling Assassin27]

if that quote is legit, marv levy should be demoted to the Custodial Staff. any GM not familiar with Cutler is unworthy of that title. this has to be a joke.

[BroncoBuff]

Oh ... OK ... I read it now ...


my bad Uhh

[-Slap-]

Marv Levy is rather erudite, especially in comparision to his peers.

[DeusExManning]

That is hilarious though, love it.

[PatsWin2002]

This thread was a real hit. !Booya!

I like that.

[watermock]

"Fair and Balanced News"

[-Slap-]

One of the more impressive things about Marv Levy was the way he kept bringing that Bills team back to the Super Bowl year after year. I know its no consolation to them, but losing four Super Bowls in a row is at least as great an accomplishment as winning one Super Bowl.

People tend to think the team that loses the Super Bowl is going to come back super motivated because they were so close to winning it all. People don't realize how physically and mentally draining it can be to play a 19 or 20 game season and then lose the last game of the year in front of two billion people.

Seattle looks like an excellent club, but the last five Super Bowl losers were sub-.500 teams the following year. Maybe getting royally screwed by the refs will provide an extra motivating factor to help them this season.

Super Bowl Loser - Record the following season

Seattle Seahawks - To be determined

Philadelphia Eagles - 6-10

Carolina Panthers - 7-9

Oakland Raiders - 4-12

St. Louis Rams - 7-9

New York Giants - 7-9

[Kaylore]

Some of you are really embarrassing yourselves.

[-Slap-]

I think a spoof like this is funny, and frankly, well deserved, after Marv's scuffling effort on Draft Weekend, but I detect a bit of age discrimination attached to Levy's comeback.

People assume because Marv Levy was alive during the Pleistocene era, he'll be hopelessly out of touch with today's game.

Lots of people jammed on Joe Gibbs his first year back, but they had to shut up last year.

People made fun of Jack McKeon, too, until he won a World Series with the underdog Marlins. I remember dumbass Joe Morgan (http://firejoemorgan.blogspot.com/) scoffing when they signed McKeon. He came right out and said an old guy like that couldn't possibly relate to all the young players on the Marlins roster.

Lots of folks predicted failure for Jim Leyland this year, but his upstart Tigers have the best record in baseball.

Lay off the old folks.

http://www.jimtardio.com/paris-bw-old-man-big.jpg

[Kaylore]

I think a spoof like this is funny, and frankly, well deserved, after Marv's scuffling effort on Draft Weekend, but I detect a bit of age discrimination attached to Levy's comeback.

People assume because Marv Levy was alive during the Pleistocene era, he'll be hopelessly out of touch with today's game.

Lots of people jammed on Joe Gibbs his first year back, but they had to shut up last year.

People made fun of Jack McKeon, too, until he won a World Series with the underdog Marlins. I remember dumbass Joe Morgan (http://firejoemorgan.blogspot.com/) scoffing when they signed McKeon. He came right out and said an old guy like that couldn't possibly relate to all the young players on the Marlins roster.

Lots of folks predicted failure for Jim Leyland this year, but his upstart Tigers have the best record in baseball.

Lay off the old folks.

http://www.jimtardio.com/paris-bw-old-man-big.jpg

There is a bit of age bias, but part of that could because he isn't coaching, he's the GM. I think if he was coaching the team again people would draw all kinds of parallels to Gibbs and ESPN would be doing segments on "Top Coaches over 60".

As a GM people are kind of unsure. Then this draft has him totally reach for a couple of players in the first round and pass on two QB's that are looking better than both the guys you've got right now. Maybe there is some age bias, and maybe a Bills fan works for the Brushback, but I think some of this criticism is a little deserved.

I'll close this post with a Pleistocene Bronco.

Go broncos!
http://www.virtualmuseum.ca/Exhibitions/Herschel/Images/horse.jpg

[Arkansas Bronco]

Some of you are really embarrassing yourselves.
I probably did due to the fact that I didnt read the line above the thread, I am made a point after I posted to read the link lines and the intro.

[Hogan11]

If you must talk about the Bills, why not try out the latest rumor for size...that being Jim Kelly wants to buy the team. So does Ralph Wilson sell to him, someone else or does he leave it to his kids who have little to no interest in the team? Lot's of people here seem to think the Kelly option is the only way the team remains in Buffalo long term......I tend to agree but find it hard to believe he has the kind of jack to pull off such a thing.

[Atlas]

One of the more impressive things about Marv Levy was the way he kept bringing that Bills team back to the Super Bowl year after year. I know its no consolation to them, but losing four Super Bowls in a row is at least as great an accomplishment as winning one Super Bowl.

People tend to think the team that loses the Super Bowl is going to come back super motivated because they were so close to winning it all. People don't realize how physically and mentally draining it can be to play a 19 or 20 game season and then lose the last game of the year in front of two billion people.

Bills would be looked at a whole lot differently if Norwood hits that FG.