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minibronco
06-04-2006, 10:01 PM
Dickhead Barbaro Yet to Respond to a Single One of His Get-Well Notes

Despite receiving tens of thousands of cards, letters, gifts and other messages after breaking his right hind leg at the Preakness Stakes, Kentucky Derby-winner Barbaro has yet to respond to a single get-well note in the nearly two weeks since his injury – causing many of his supporters to turn against him.

“I drove two hours to the animal hospital where Barbaro’s surgery took place, and left a note and balloons outside of the gate for him,” said Claire Howser, a 48-year-old single woman who was taken by the horse’s saga. “It wasn’t something I had to do, you know. I just wanted him to know that he had my support. But it’s going on two weeks now and I haven’t heard anything – not a thank you note, not an acknowledgement of receipt, nothing. It’s pretty rude, in my opinion.”

Peter Berner, a Kentucky man who mailed Barbaro a get-well cake and left him numerous messages on the online boards set up for the injured horse, said his faith in the once-great champion is starting to wane.

“It would be one thing if he was still racing and training for Belmont, but he’s just been standing around doing nothing for the past two weeks,” said Berner. “It’s not like he doesn’t have time to pick up a pen and write back. I mean, I go out of my way to bake a cake for a horse, and I pour my heart out to him in my notes, and what do I get in return? Nothing. I almost feel stupid for having put myself out there.”

While most of Barbaro’s well-wishers are growing angry with him, others at least are willing to give the horse the benefit of the doubt.

“Maybe it’s not customary for horses to send out thank-you notes within two weeks,” said Margerie Smith, who took a day off from work to hold stand outside Barbaro’s hospital and pray for him on the day of his surgery. “Maybe they take longer. And I’m sure he has a lot of people to get back to. But still, you’d think by now I would have at least heard something. I hope at least he read my letters. Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe his handlers never passed my notes along because they want him all to themselves.”

Michael Matz, Barbaro’s trainer, says all the support the horse has received has been much appreciated by the animal, but he’s not sure how much help – if any – they have been to the horse’s recovery.

“Barbaro has to focus his energies on getting healthy right now,” said Matz, “plus, uh, he can’t really read. You know, because he’s a horse. We showed him some of the cards, but he didn’t really seem to acknowledge them, other than blinking a few times and then having three gigantic lumps of crap fall out of his butt onto the floor of his stall. But I think that was just because of his medication, and not in any way to do with the cards. Who knows, though – maybe he’s a magical horse who can read and understands everything that is happening to him. Yeah, that’s probably it.”

minibronco
06-04-2006, 10:04 PM
Mavericks Wondering Who Has That Guy Standing Over There Under the Basket
The Mavericks would like to know who it is that is supposed to be covering that guy standing all alone over there right under the basket.
“I don’t think it’s my guy,” said power forward Dirk Nowitzki. “He looks a little bit too small to be my guy. Usually I’m supposed to be guarding tall guys. So even though he’s wide open, I’ll just let him go because I don’t think it’s my assignment. I have enough trouble keeping track of my own guy.”
<TABLE cellSpacing=2 cellPadding=0 align=center border=1><TBODY><TR><TD><!-- FASTCLICK.COM 300x250 MEDIUM RECTANGLE CODE for sportspickle.com --><SCRIPT language=javascript src="http://media.fastclick.net/w/get.media?sid=7092&m=6&tp=8&d=j&t=n"></SCRIPT><!-- ==== START AD SNIPPET ==== --><SCRIPT language=javascript1.2><!--/* ================================================== ============= *//* CLICK TRACKING SETUP *//* ================================================== ============= */var THclickUrl = "http://media.fastclick.net/w/click.here?cid=53056;mid=104277;sid=7092;m=6;c=0;f orced_click=";var THencode = 'n';/* **** DO NOT MODIFY BELOW THIS LINE **** */var THpubID = "2802"; var THlocID = escape("NONE"); window.onerror=stopErrs; function stopErrs() { return true; } var THisM; var THisMIE; var THran = ""; function THranStr() { var THchrs = "0123456789ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRTHUVWXTZabcdefghiklmno pqrstuvwxyz"; var THranL = 16; for (var THz=0; THz< THranL; THz++) { var THrnum = Math.floor(Math.random() * THchrs.length); THran += "" + THchrs.substring(THrnum,THrnum+1); } } var THadkS = '<ifra' + 'me src="http:/' + '/adsvr.adknowledge.com:80/get_ad.cgi?pid=' + THpubID + '&locid=' + THlocID + '&skn=S&adkBref=unRef&clickUrl='+THclickUrl+'&ue='+THencode+'" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" topmargin="0" leftmargin="0" width="300" height="250">'+'</'+'ifr'+'ame>'; THranStr(); var THbURL = "http:/"+"/web.adknowledge.com/js/showAD300.js?adkBref="; var THplaceID = new String("646f63756d656e742e7265666572726572"); var THloID = "'" + THplaceID.replace(/../g, "\\x$&") + "'"; THisM = (navigator.userAgent.toLowerCase().indexOf("mac") != -1) ? true : false; if (THisM) { isMIE = (navigator.userAgent.toLowerCase().indexOf("IE") != -1) ? true : false; } if (THisM == true) { THrV="unRef"; } if (THisM == false) { if (eval(THloID)) { var THrV = eval(eval(THloID)); if (THrV.length <= 1) { THrV = 'noRef'; } } } var THadVars= THbURL+escape(THrV)+ "&pubID=" + THpubID + "&ran=" + THran + "&ue="+THencode + "&locid=" + THlocID; var THadkA = '<SCR'+'IPT LANGUAGE=\"JavaSc'+'ript1.2\" type=\"text\/javas'+'cript\" SRC=""\"'+THadVars+'\"></SCR'+'IPT>'; if ((THisM) && (THisMIE)) { document.write(THadkS); } else { document.write(THadkA); }//--></SCRIPT><SCRIPT language=JavaScript1.2 src="http://web.adknowledge.com/js/showAD300.js?adkBref=http%3A//www.sportspickle.com/&pubID=2802&ran=cRusz6pJ1w2s2HAT&ue=n&locid=NONE" type=text/javascript></SCRIPT><!-- ==== END AD SNIPPET ==== --><SCRIPT language=VBScript> on error resume next f2I = (IsObject(CreateObject("ShockwaveFlash.ShockwaveFlash.2"))) f3I = (IsObject(CreateObject("ShockwaveFlash.ShockwaveFlash.3"))) f4I = (IsObject(CreateObject("ShockwaveFlash.ShockwaveFlash.4"))) f5I = (IsObject(CreateObject("ShockwaveFlash.ShockwaveFlash.5"))) f6I = (IsObject(CreateObject("ShockwaveFlash.ShockwaveFlash.6"))) f7I = (IsObject(CreateObject("ShockwaveFlash.ShockwaveFlash.7"))) f8I = (IsObject(CreateObject("ShockwaveFlash.ShockwaveFlash.8"))) f9I = (IsObject(CreateObject("ShockwaveFlash.ShockwaveFlash.9"))) </SCRIPT><IFRAME marginWidth=0 marginHeight=0 src="http://adsvr.adknowledge.com:80/get_ad.cgi?pid=2802&tg=test&sz=300x250&skn=I&fm=F&fid=0&ran=BUSsqrToURW4oQ0U&ref=http%253A//www.sportspickle.com/&clickUrl=http://media.fastclick.net/w/click.here?cid=53056;mid=104277;sid=7092;m=6;c=0;f orced_click=&ue=n&locid=NONE" frameBorder=0 width=300 scrolling=no height=250 leftmargin="0" topmargin="0"></IFRAME>
<NOSCRIPT> http://media.fastclick.net/w/get.media?sid=7092&m=6&tp=8&d=s&c=1 (http://media.fastclick.net/w/click.here?sid=7092&m=6&c=1) </NOSCRIPT><!-- FASTCLICK.COM 300x250 MEDIUM RECTANGLE CODE for sportspickle.com --></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE> Dallas guard Jason Terry is pretty sure the wide open player is not his either.
“He was mine a few seconds ago,” said Terry. “But now I don’t think he is. I had him until I was screened, then I switched to another man. We’re switching screens right? I thought coach told us to switch on screens last timeout. No? Then I have no idea if that’s my man or not. I hope not, because he’s wide open.”
Swingman Jerry Stackhouse said the wide open player who is about to score an uncontested dunk shot could very well be man, but that’s not really why he is on the court.
“They don’t put me out here for defense,” said Stackhouse. “I don’t know who I’m guarding half the time I’m on the court. So that very well could be my man, and it very well could be not. I don’t know. What I’m thinking about right now, though, is not how that guy got wide open, but the awesome turnaround jumper I want to take next time down the court. I would call it Jordanesque. Just wait until you see it. Right after this guy finishes dunking I’ll have a chance to get the ball in my hands again and do it.”
Center DeSagana Diop says that if he was in the game, that guy wouldn’t have just completed his wide open dunk on the Mavericks.
“I would have done everything in my power to block his shot,” said Diop. “That’s my role on this team. I run around maniacally trying to block shots. Sure, a lot of times I leave the guy I’m supposed to be guarding wide open as I chase a guard across the lane, but when I’m actually able to get a block, it’s really awesome. I like to knock them all the way into the stands.”
With his team now back on offense, head coach Avery Johnson is hopeful his team will refocus next time on the defensive end.
“We can’t have lapses like that,” said Johnson. “Everybody needs to know who they have. It’s simple stuff. Ah, jeez … here we go again. A fast break for a wide open lay-up.”
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