Divorce!!!!!

[broncoblue]

:D IM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

OH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

HAPPPPY DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS :D :thumbs: :strong: LOL

[jossjeff]

LOL

I'm guessing that no matter how much you paid it was worth it.

Congrats bro.

Don't make the same mistake twice.

[12th man]

Congratulations! Now go out and get married again.

[BroncoFanCam]

:D IM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

OH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

HAPPPPY DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS :D :thumbs: :strong: LOL

If that's "her" in the avatar, you are a silly, silly man.

[dbfan4life]

Why are divorces so expensive?


Because they're worth it!


Enjoy your new found freedom!

[broncoblue]

My 2nd Divorce As Well

[watermock]

He sounds deveistated.

[Ratboy]

I don't know whether to say congrats or not.

[broncoblue]

happpy days!!!!!

[watermock]

:youu sound devestated.

[broncoblue]

i was origanally mock but after all the **** is outta the way ...im well happy...guinness and jack d to follow

[Sassy]

Are you sure you aren't drunk already? ;D

Hmmm...congrats?

[broncoblue]

had one or tw0 sass ..off to the pub methinks

[SteveTensi13]

Congrats!! Divorce for me was fairly easy. It was a mutual decision and the fact we had no brats made it alot easier!! Enjoy your freedom, I know I am. No more answering as to where I've been, who I was with, how I spent MY money!

[bendog]

I can't get divorced. To pay the childsupport, I'd have to kill myself to get the insurance money.

[Kaylore]

I'm never one to celebrate divorce since I consider it an ugly event having watched my Parents' first hand. However they are both happier and so I wish the same for you, firend. :)

[Bronco_Beerslug]

:D IM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

OH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
HAPPPPY DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS :D :thumbs: :strong: LOL

A new life begins. Over half of us get to experience this in our lives one time or another :)

[alkemical]

Well since i'm involved with a divorced chica -

what have you learned about what went wrong *any can answer, this is an open question*

[KipCorrington25]

That's how I sounded when I finally sold my titanic of a house three weeks ago. I've been hitting happy hours ever since and still can't help celebrating.

Nothing like cutting that anchor loose that's draging you down.

[CBF1]

Leaving is hard, but once you do it is the best decision you can ever make. My 1 year anniversary to leaving is next week and it is all good. Just remember to take it easy with the next EX and take time having fun. Maybe we should host an Orangemane divorce party for all of us who have regained our freedom.

Congratulations.

[BMF Bronco]

Well since i'm involved with a divorced chica -

what have you learned about what went wrong *any can answer, this is an open question*
getting married in the first place

[ludo21]

I wont condone divorce at all, it isnt the right way to do things, but if it was the only way out for you guys, I hope it works out well.

[alkemical]

getting married in the first place


well there are two sides of the story, i know she can be a biatch - i've known her since i was 16, but her ex liked to mentally f' her over by calling her names, fat, blatently telling her he was going out to find someone to replace her with. (at she's not, she's 5'9" and about 115)

So, no offense - but i'm looking for some less jaded views. I was engaged once and the biatch cheated on me - but i learned somethings about me - and learned other people are going to do what they are going to do.

But then i've never been one to control - i am fine with someone going and doing their own hobbies, just like i go and play with my bandmates.

[Dr. Broncenstein]

Divorce sucks.

[Bronco_Beerslug]

I wont condone divorce at all, it isnt the right way to do things, but if it was the only way out for you guys, I hope it works out well.
You will if it happens to you. It's the only thing that prevents crimes from being committed in some cases :) I've seen couples married for 30-40 years divorcing when the husband retires so the wife could start her "new" life with half of everything including the pension the husband just started receiving.

[Mr Chatterboodamn]

Well since i'm involved with a divorced chica -

what have you learned about what went wrong *any can answer, this is an open question*

i work in family law and all i can say is you shouldn't get married unless you have common goals with the other person. otherwise, it just seems like a natural procession toward resentment, anger, and eventual dissolution. you'll grow apart if you have different end goals. really investigate that beforehand.

i'd also say don't get married to anyone who's earning ability or asset base is drastically less than yours... you are basically signing yourself up to take a setback should the marriage fail. also, ive noticed marriages based on disperate financial positions tend to fail in our times. I know it's not the rosy picture of the past, but marriage itself commences a most serious fiduciary duty to your spouse... some relationships just aren't ready for that.

and if you're going to have kids, make sure it's someone you're reasonably certain you can co-parent with for 18 years with or without a happy marriage. you owe it to your kids.

[alkemical]

i work in family law and all i can say is you shouldn't get married unless you have common goals with the other person. otherwise, it just seems like a natural procession toward resentment, anger, and eventual dissolution. you'll grow apart if you have different end goals. really investigate that beforehand.

i'd also say don't get married to anyone who's earning ability or asset base is drastically less than yours... you are basically signing yourself up to take a setback should the marriage fail. also, ive noticed marriages based on disperate financial positions tend to fail in our times. I know it's not the rosy picture of the past, but marriage itself commences a most serious fiduciary duty to your spouse... some relationships just aren't ready for that.

and if you're going to have kids, make sure it's someone you're reasonably certain you can co-parent with for 18 years with or without a happy marriage. you owe it to your kids.


Well her and i make approx the same amount of money. So money issues aren't really a biggie. We share common goals to run our own business(es), and to take care of our families.

Kids thing we have common areas we share on those things.

We've been best friends for over 10yrs, but i just know it isn't always one sided either..

[TexanBob]

I've told girlfriends that if they ever wanted to divorce me, I'd rather they just shoot me. That could be one reason why they don't pursue marriage with me. I kill all the fun of it for them.

[Blueflame]

Marriage isn't an easy proposition even when you're absolutely certain you're with the "right" person. It's a constant compromise and both parties have to understand that "compromise" isn't always 50-50. Imho, being single is far preferable to being married to "Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong".

[alkemical]

well, that's why i haven't even considered the prospect of it, but Ms. MA has dropped hints latley that she'd like to be married....... to me one day....

[ak1971]

i work in family law and all i can say is you shouldn't get married unless you have common goals with the other person. otherwise, it just seems like a natural procession toward resentment, anger, and eventual dissolution. you'll grow apart if you have different end goals. really investigate that beforehand.

i'd also say don't get married to anyone who's earning ability or asset base is drastically less than yours... you are basically signing yourself up to take a setback should the marriage fail. also, ive noticed marriages based on disperate financial positions tend to fail in our times. I know it's not the rosy picture of the past, but marriage itself commences a most serious fiduciary duty to your spouse... some relationships just aren't ready for that.

and if you're going to have kids, make sure it's someone you're reasonably certain you can co-parent with for 18 years with or without a happy marriage. you owe it to your kids.


Well my fiance and I are the most opinionated A-holes you'll ever meet, so we are going to be great...or start our own cult.

[Swedish Extrovert]

:D IM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

OH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

HAPPPPY DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS :D :thumbs: :strong: LOL

Hey man, congratulations on a new era!

:sunshine:

[Archie]

Well - I'm sorry to hear that it had to come to that... Of course many many do but having seen so many with friends and family I can't ever celebrate the divorce. You can be happy to have the "mess" behind you I suppose but it's just plain sad.

[dnvrbrncos]

-

[ROYC75]

Marriage is a lifelong commitment........ No other way to it. For better or worst till the day you die.

Divorce is way out that says, I fugged up. It's sad when that happens, People often rush into marriage without knowing the other mate well enough. People do grow apart at times, but they should renew ther love and intrest in the other. Too many people nowadays get into a fight and throw there hands up ..... F U I want a divorce. Often kids are in the middle of a broken marriage that didn't ask to be. Moral decay of the american people starts as a child, they learn what they see.........

IMHO, it should be a Federal law......... You want a divorce, you spend 1 year in jail for serving as a bad example to society. No probation ! 365 days in the pokey for being a dopey and not making a wise decision in the 1st place.

That would stop alot of this " Lets get married and go from there " BS. Too many marriages are short term because of a quick stupid decision by 2 people.

[Bronco_Beerslug]

IMHO, it should be a Federal law......... You want a divorce, you spend 1 year in jail for serving as a bad example to society. No probation ! 365 days in the pokey for being a dopey and not making a wise decision in the 1st place.

LOL
I think you're living in the wrong country, maybe you should see if one of those third world countries in the ME or Africa would suit your ideals better.

[Sodak]

If you have children, It's probably better to have two happy homes than one that's miserable.

[baja]

i work in family law and all i can say is you shouldn't get married unless you have common goals with the other person. otherwise, it just seems like a natural procession toward resentment, anger, and eventual dissolution. you'll grow apart if you have different end goals. really investigate that beforehand.

i'd also say don't get married to anyone who's earning ability or asset base is drastically less than yours... you are basically signing yourself up to take a setback should the marriage fail. also, ive noticed marriages based on disperate financial positions tend to fail in our times. I know it's not the rosy picture of the past, but marriage itself commences a most serious fiduciary duty to your spouse... some relationships just aren't ready for that.

and if you're going to have kids, make sure it's someone you're reasonably certain you can co-parent with for 18 years with or without a happy marriage. you owe it to your kids.

A lot of good advice here!

[ZachKC]

Well - I'm sorry to hear that it had to come to that... Of course many many do but having seen so many with friends and family I can't ever celebrate the divorce. You can be happy to have the "mess" behind you I suppose but it's just plain sad.
Well said. Weird thread IMO.

[Hogan11]

If you have children, It's probably better to have two happy homes than one that's miserable.

I agree fully.

There's nothing worse than a loveless, hostile, miserable home situation and if that can be improved by seperation/divorce, then so be it.

The only thing about divorce in most cases that sucks is that you can lose a lot of your stuff if it's not amiable...including half of your retirement in some cases....which may make it very difficult for you to make ends meet afterwards. The courts are usually slanted as well, which doesn't help matters any. I've seen guys saved by it and some destroyed by it.

[baja]

I agree fully.

There's nothing worse than a loveless, hostile, miserable home situation and if that can be improved by seperation/divorce, then so be it.

The only thing about divorce in most cases that sucks is that you can lose a lot of your stuff if it's not amiable...including half of your retirement in some cases....which may make it very difficult for you to make ends meet afterwards. The courts are usually slanted as well, which doesn't help matters any. I've seen guys saved by it and some destroyed by it.

Love your avatar, I know that's what I do. As a matter of a fact I am down loading from I Tunes a Brazilan recoed as I type.
http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=3916277&s=143441

http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=3916277&s=143441

[SouthStndJunkie]

I dated my wife for almost 7 years before we got married. I always told myself I was going to be with someone over 5 years before I got married....that way I would know the person as deeply as possible....the good and the bad and everything in between.

[kamakazi_kal]

now all you have to do is post some dirty pics of her and your freedom will ring true..... :spit:

:worthless

nawww just kidding.......but not really..... i love dirty pictures

[SouthStndJunkie]

now all you have to do is post some dirty pics of her and your freedom will ring true..... :spit:

:worthless

Yes....on the dirty pics.

[watermock]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v132/Ghostmech/82ca4220.gif

I can't blame ya! She just didn't age well.

It's never pretty. You can paint it, but it just isn't. Hopefully you can go bust some heads in the World Cup Football Classic.

http://www.bangcartoon.com/popupCartoonArchive.php?movie=2003archive/hoedown.swf

[watermock]

http://www.bangcartoon.com/popupCartoonArchive.php?movie=2003archive/riot.swf

Let's get ya primed up for the World Cup Eh?

[Jason in LA]

Freedom is great. There is no better feeling than getting away from somebody that makes your life hell.

I think one major problem is that people do not present their true selves in the beginning. Too many people, men and women, act good to attract a mate. They are on their best behavior until they have the other person locked in. Then bam, they let that hidden bad side out.

People change too much. I want a woman to show me who she really is in the beginning, because I'm going to show her who I really am. But that isn't always going to work. If a person is a jerk, they aren't going to show that to you until the two of you are in too deep to have a simple break up.

[Ray Finkle]

i work in family law and all i can say is you shouldn't get married unless you have common goals with the other person. otherwise, it just seems like a natural procession toward resentment, anger, and eventual dissolution. you'll grow apart if you have different end goals. really investigate that beforehand.

i'd also say don't get married to anyone who's earning ability or asset base is drastically less than yours... you are basically signing yourself up to take a setback should the marriage fail. also, ive noticed marriages based on disperate financial positions tend to fail in our times. I know it's not the rosy picture of the past, but marriage itself commences a most serious fiduciary duty to your spouse... some relationships just aren't ready for that.

and if you're going to have kids, make sure it's someone you're reasonably certain you can co-parent with for 18 years with or without a happy marriage. you owe it to your kids.

First off, Congrats Blue...in an odd sort of way

Second, my wife makes almost three times what I make.....crap....

[ROYC75]

LOL
I think you're living in the wrong country, maybe you should see if one of those third world countries in the ME or Africa would suit your ideals better.

OK, but it sounded OK. Sure would stop alot of divorces and make people think twice about marriage.

But then we would have more kids born out of wedlock. Crap, throw them in the pokey too !;D

[Jason in LA]

People shouldn't be forced to stay together.

Sometimes something really great just turns bad.

[broncoblue]

oh man the party continues,.,...monsters of rock festival tommorow...alice cooper ,deep purple ,ted nugent and lots of beeeeeeeeeeeeeeer

[Jason in LA]

Sounds like you are living it up. Doesn't it feel great to do what you want without having to have somebody nag you?

I grew up on hip hop, but I've become a bit of a rock fan over the years. I had to listen to something since hip hop went to crap. Did you watch the VH1 special on heavy metal. It was a four part series. It was pretty interesting. Now they have that show Super Group.

[Mile High Shack]

Sounds like you are living it up. Doesn't it feel great to do what you want without having to have somebody nag you?

I grew up on hip hop, but I've become a bit of a rock fan over the years. I had to listen to something since hip hop went to crap. Did you watch the VH1 special on heavy metal. It was a four part series. It was pretty interesting. Now they have that show Super Group.

if you would've started playing guitar earlier, you'd be the next hendrix
;)

hehe

[Jason in LA]

if you would've started playing guitar earlier, you'd be the next hendrix
;)

hehe

Actually, I did play the guitar as a kid. I got sick of playing the piano after a couple of years, and made the switch. But I was never serious about it. I wanted to play football, but instead I was taking guitar lessons. At one point I told my parents that I wanted an electrical guitar, they said no, so I stopped playing. I didn't really care to get the electrical guitar, I just wanted a way out of going to guitar lessons. I hated having to play mostly classical music. If I had a teacher that focused more on rock, or blues, who knows, maybe I would have stuck with it. The environment just wasn't right for me to become the next Hendrix.

[Sean]

The environment just wasn't right for me to become the next Hendrix.

It's amazing Hendrix was able to become the first Hendrix then, cause his environment sucked ass. As a child, he used to imagine he owned a guitar while strumming his broom. I don't think he got an actual six string and took a serious interest in playing until around the age of sixteen. Even then, he had to turn the damn guitar upside down and re-string it since he was a south paw. Hendrix couldn't read or write music, and he had no music teacher. He learned from listening. Joined the army when he was still in his teens. Jumping out of airplanes doesn't seem like the best environment to learn guitar to me. Then again, if you were born with a natural talent like Hendrix was, the environment really doesn't matter, does it?

[KipCorrington25]

Genius will rise to the top.

[freak6]

Go Blue!!!

I feel like I am married, but after this weekend in Vegas, well....

[Mile High Shack]

It's amazing Hendrix was able to become the first Hendrix then, cause his environment sucked ass. As a child, he used to imagine he owned a guitar while strumming his broom. I don't think he got an actual six string and took a serious interest in playing until around the age of sixteen. Even then, he had to turn the damn guitar upside down and re-string it since he was a south paw. Hendrix couldn't read or write music, and he had no music teacher. He learned from listening. Joined the army when he was still in his teens. Jumping out of airplanes doesn't seem like the best environment to learn guitar to me. Then again, if you were born with a natural talent like Hendrix was, the environment really doesn't matter, does it?

LOL
kinda goes along what I was talking about

thanks for stating it better

[Mile High Shack]

Go Blue!!!

I feel like I am married, but after this weekend in Vegas, well....

Champ cornhole your woman this weekend again?

[smalltowngrll]

Congrats BB....glad you are finally able to move on with your life....and your new GF!!

[L.A. BRONCOS FAN]

getting married in the first place

:thumbsup:

You beat me to it.

Why give up 50% of the gross for the same thing you can get in the back pages of the L.A. Weekly for $300?

:D

[broncoblue]

Congrats BB....glad you are finally able to move on with your life....and your new GF!!
oh yes thanks stg ...

what a weekend been abosolutly paralatic...NUGENT IS A HERO HE WAS OUT OF THIS WORLD.....ALICE WAS WAS ALICE SUPURB(WE GOT COVERED IN COOPS BLOOD AF=TER HIS HEAD WAS CHOPPED OFF) AND IAN GILLAN AND DEEP PURPLE ARE LEGENDS .....BTW JOURNEY ARE STILL THE GAYEST OF BAND!

[Spider]

no way in hell could I afford a divorce ...... 6 kids ..

[STBumpkin]

Marriage is a lifelong commitment........ No other way to it. For better or worst till the day you die.

Divorce is way out that says, I fugged up. It's sad when that happens, People often rush into marriage without knowing the other mate well enough. People do grow apart at times, but they should renew ther love and intrest in the other. Too many people nowadays get into a fight and throw there hands up ..... F U I want a divorce. Often kids are in the middle of a broken marriage that didn't ask to be. Moral decay of the american people starts as a child, they learn what they see.........

IMHO, it should be a Federal law......... You want a divorce, you spend 1 year in jail for serving as a bad example to society. No probation ! 365 days in the pokey for being a dopey and not making a wise decision in the 1st place.

That would stop alot of this " Lets get married and go from there " BS. Too many marriages are short term because of a quick stupid decision by 2 people.

I believe that so many marriages end in divorce because people go into them with divorce as an option later on. Why? Why would you get married with even the possibility in your mind that it could end in anything but happily ever after? Another reason is so many people get married after knowing the person for only a few months. I just don't understand why anyone would start such a commitment with so much uncertainty.

I have dated my fiance for 6 years, friends with her for 2 before that. There is no way I would have asked her to marry me if I thought that either of us had any reservations about spending the rest of our lives together.

I am sorry so many end in divorce, and I can see how it can be a relief if it is an ugly relationship, but I don't think it should ever be celebrated. It is a breakdown of on of our nation's values. The vow says "till death do us part' and it's a shame that so many people take that oath so lightly.

[gunns]

Well her and i make approx the same amount of money. So money issues aren't really a biggie. We share common goals to run our own business(es), and to take care of our families.

Kids thing we have common areas we share on those things.

We've been best friends for over 10yrs, but i just know it isn't always one sided either..

I think your last line is very important also. You have to like a person not just love them.

[gunns]

no way in hell could I afford a divorce ...... 6 kids ..

Been divorced for 14 years with 6 kids but never got a dime of child support. But he's been involved with the kids lives for the past 12 and that was more important. He had his own demon's to deal with....alcoholism, Vietnam, etc. He's better and now we're very good friends that share a common goal, our kids. Funny how that worked out.

[gunns]

I believe that so many marriages end in divorce because people go into them with divorce as an option later on. Why? Why would you get married with even the possibility in your mind that it could end in anything but happily ever after? Another reason is so many people get married after knowing the person for only a few months. I just don't understand why anyone would start such a commitment with so much uncertainty.

Divorce has become too easy and our society has become self centered. Marriage is something to work at and at times it's damn hard work. Some people today get unhappy, the marriage becomes stale or another lifestyple becomes more attractive. They give up too easily because the grass looks greener. Many people regret their divorces, but also there are some that never should have married in the first place.

[Spider]

Been divorced for 14 years with 6 kids but never got a dime of child support. But he's been involved with the kids lives for the past 12 and that was more important. He had his own demon's to deal with....alcoholism, Vietnam, etc. He's better and now we're very good friends that share a common goal, our kids. Funny how that worked out.man that had to be rough ....congrats on getting through it ........ I would never expect my wife to support our kids by herself ........if i were to divorce , would live in my semi and made sure she got at least 1,800 a month min .......

[gunns]

man that had to be rough ....congrats on getting through it ........ I would never expect my wife to support our kids by herself ........if i were to divorce , would live in my semi and made sure she got at least 1,800 a month min .......

That's because you're a good guy and your wife is damn lucky....except that triplet thing you did to her.....Yikes! Just kidding!

[Spider]

That's because you're a good guy and your wife is damn lucky....except that triplet thing you did to her.....Yikes! Just kidding!
LOL , the triplets are her fault

[Jason in LA]

I believe that so many marriages end in divorce because people go into them with divorce as an option later on. Why? Why would you get married with even the possibility in your mind that it could end in anything but happily ever after? Another reason is so many people get married after knowing the person for only a few months. I just don't understand why anyone would start such a commitment with so much uncertainty.

I have dated my fiance for 6 years, friends with her for 2 before that. There is no way I would have asked her to marry me if I thought that either of us had any reservations about spending the rest of our lives together.

I am sorry so many end in divorce, and I can see how it can be a relief if it is an ugly relationship, but I don't think it should ever be celebrated. It is a breakdown of on of our nation's values. The vow says "till death do us part' and it's a shame that so many people take that oath so lightly.

Sounds like you did it the right way. A long relationship before marrage. That's very important to maintaining a long relationship. But, still get that pre-nup. ;D You never know how people will change. Chances are when you are with somebody as long as you have been, you know exactly what type of person they are. But some people hide that bad side until they have the other person locked in.

As for divorce being celebrated, in some cases it's a great thing for certain people. If somebody is with a person that's making their life a complete hell, that break up is like being set free. Getting your life back. That's a great feeling.

[STBumpkin]

Sounds like you did it the right way. A long relationship before marrage. That's very important to maintaining a long relationship. But, still get that pre-nup. ;D You never know how people will change. Chances are when you are with somebody as long as you have been, you know exactly what type of person they are. But some people hide that bad side until they have the other person locked in.

As for divorce being celebrated, in some cases it's a great thing for certain people. If somebody is with a person that's making their life a complete hell, that break up is like being set free. Getting your life back. That's a great feeling.

A prenuptual agreement is the same thing as going into a marriage with doubt. I don't believe in them. Anyways, we both work for the govt and make nearly the same money, so a prenup would be useless.

[smalltowngrll]

A prenuptual agreement is the same thing as going into a marriage with doubt. I don't believe in them. Anyways, we both work for the govt and make nearly the same money, so a prenup would be useless.


Yep...I agree...a prenup says you are expecting it to end in divorce and if things aren't convenient in the future, welp, we can always settle for divorce!

[BombsOverBaghdad]

Divorce sucks.

I have to agree .................. it is the gift that keeps giving -- pain and heartache

[Jason in LA]

A prenuptual agreement is the same thing as going into a marriage with doubt. I don't believe in them. Anyways, we both work for the govt and make nearly the same money, so a prenup would be useless.

There's nothing wrong with going into a marriage with a little doubt. I think people should have at least a little bit of doubt.

It sounds like you did it the right way, and the chances of your marriage working will be higher than most people. I wish the best for you and hope that it works out.

But I would never put total trust into anybody. God, and my mother, are the only two that I would blindly trust. Even if I had a perfect relationship with a woman for a few years, I still wouldn't put total trust in her. People change, even if you have known them for a long time.

Marriage in a certain sense is a business arangement. That doesn't sound romantic, but it's true. Lets see where the love is if the marriage breaks up and the two of you have to split the money.

It's always smart to protect yourself. Even people that do it right, like you have, and are sure about their partner, end up getting divorces.

As for the two of you making the same amount of money, that type of thinking has cost people a lot of money. One day you may come up with some great business idea and hit it big. Maybe you get promotions, and end up making more than your partner. Don't sell yourself short. You may one day may be making a lot more money than your partner.

Jessica Simpson is costing herself a boat load of money because of that way of thinking. Nick Lechey was making a lot more money than she was when they got married. He was more famous. He wanted a pre-nup. But Jessica's father, who is controlling her life, told her not to sign it because Nick made so much more money. Now look at what happened. Her stock went through the roof, and she's making way more money then he is. Now they are getting divorced, and she owes him a boat load of money. Funny that the father is trying to low ball Nick by offering him only $1.5 million. If the father had any vision, he would of had Jessica sign the damn thing and Nick wouldn't be intitled to half of the money.

Again, I hope things work out for you. But it's always good to protect yourself. Love seems to fly out the window in divorce court.

[Jason in LA]

Yep...I agree...a prenup says you are expecting it to end in divorce and if things aren't convenient in the future, welp, we can always settle for divorce!

Nope, it just means that you are protecting yourself. Many people get pre-nups and stay married for the rest of their lives.

It's always smart to protect yourself.

[broncoblue]

i didnt want divorce but when your cheated on what options do you have?

ive beeen split nearly 18 monthsnow and ive been dating 4 months with the hotttest gal in england ...happy days
and im still in feastival modeeee

[Hogan11]

Nope, it just means that you are protecting yourself. Many people get pre-nups and stay married for the rest of their lives.

It's always smart to protect yourself.

Yup, the biggest fool is the one who doesn't protect his assets.

[Jason in LA]

i didnt want divorce but when your cheated on what options do you have?

ive beeen split nearly 18 monthsnow and ive been dating 4 months with the hotttest gal in england ...happy days
and im still in feastival modeeee

Judging from your posts, you seem to be very happy, and enjoying life. How can anybody question that?

[STBumpkin]

i didnt want divorce but when your cheated on what options do you have?

ive beeen split nearly 18 monthsnow and ive been dating 4 months with the hotttest gal in england ...happy days
and im still in feastival modeeee

Being cheated on is a different story, no forgiveness for that. However, that goes into knowing your partner. After knowing my Fi for 8 years and dating for 6, I am as sure as a person can be that she will never cheat on me (we dated long distance for over 3 of those years, and neither of us cheated). I have no doubt of the fact that she will never cheat on me, but if it ever happened, she would be gone no questions asked, though I would be crushed.

[Jason in LA]

Being cheated on is a different story, no forgiveness for that. However, that goes into knowing your partner. After knowing my Fi for 8 years and dating for 6, I am as sure as a person can be that she will never cheat on me (we dated long distance for over 3 of those years, and neither of us cheated). I have no doubt of the fact that she will never cheat on me, but if it ever happened, she would be gone no questions asked, though I would be crushed.

Knowing a person well will give you more trust in that person, but you shouldn't put total trust in that person. Anybody can cheat, even if you know that person well. Some people hid things better than others.

You say that you two had a long distance relationship, and neither cheated. You can account for yourself, but not for her. There is no way that you would know if she cheated or not. Hopefully she didn't, but she could have been with somebody else all along. You never know. Unless you were there, there is no way you can be certain that she did see anybody else.

[Crushaholic]

I used to date my current GF 4 years ago, and we recently got back together (it's been about 2 months). She's been talking like she wants a "future" with me and I'm letting her know that I'm taking it slow. I want to make ABSOLUTELY sure that this is the one for me BECAUSE I don't want to go through divorce...

[Bronco_Beerslug]

I want to make ABSOLUTELY sure that this is the one for me BECAUSE I don't want to go through divorce...
There is no such thing. No matter how much you think you love a person or they love you now, many things change with time.

[STBumpkin]

Knowing a person well will give you more trust in that person, but you shouldn't put total trust in that person. Anybody can cheat, even if you know that person well. Some people hid things better than others.

You say that you two had a long distance relationship, and neither cheated. You can account for yourself, but not for her. There is no way that you would know if she cheated or not. Hopefully she didn't, but she could have been with somebody else all along. You never know. Unless you were there, there is no way you can be certain that she did see anybody else.

You must live a very lonely life if you can't place total trust in anybody.

[Pendejo]

You must live a very lonely life if you can't place total trust in anybody.

That's not necessarily true. Sounds like you've found/put yourself into a fine situation. It's simply not like that for everyone. If you fully trust people especially your significant other...you're lucky. I don't believe that there is any such thing as paranoia, and that you have to lookout for yourself. One never knows when the other shoe is going to drop. It doesn't necessarily mean you're lonely, but are proceeding with caution.

I don't really have those worries though...not at this point. I mean chicks have to actually like you first...before they screw you over.

I personally believe that marriage is an atavistic ritual with no true meaning. I know that a good number of people...probably the majority...feel exactly the opposite, and that's fine. People like paperwork, and that's what marriage is. Glorified steady's who decided to be bound by paper, which when the mood strikes is easily ripped up.

[freak6]

WWSD?

I always ask myself what Snoop would do, then I proceed.

[Bronco_Beerslug]

which when the mood strikes is easily ripped up.
Ha!
You ain't been around yet, that much is for sure!!!!!!!

[Pendejo]

Ha!
You ain't been around yet, that much is for sure!!!!!!!

I was talking about the perceived validity that comes with a marriage certificate. I'm sure divorces aren't easy...I doubt I'll find out. I'm fanatically anti-marriage.

That's the amendment bush should try to pass. Marriage should be banned.

[Jason in LA]

You must live a very lonely life if you can't place total trust in anybody.

Not having total trust in a woman does not lead to being lonely. I'm nowhere near lonely. I'm loving life right now.

Some day I'll find the one. But I won't have total trust in her. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't love her, or that the relationship is doomed. It just means that I'm not going to be stupid enough to allow BS to happen. I'll have to have a certain level of trust with any woman that I'd marry, or commit to having an exclusive relationship with. Trust is important. But I'd only trust her to a point.

Lets put your total trust to a test. Lets say your girlfriend/wife told you that she was still friends with an ex-boyfriend. Or was friends with a guy that she had been with at some point. She tells you that she is going to have lunch with him, just to catch up on old times. Would you have total trust in her and let her go to see him?

What if your girlfriend/wife said that her close female friends (all single) are planning a trip to Cancun. It's going to be a "girls" vacation. Are you going to have total trust and let her go?

Don't answer the questions by saying the situation would never come up. That would be dodging the questions.

Radio host Tom Leykis cracks me up when he says that he'll let her go, no problem. But when she gets back the locks on the doors will be changed, and all her stuff would have been moved out.

Trust is important. But it's foolish to have total trust.

[Mr. Trout]

I just wanna get laid..hopefully it will happen soon. I'm in a dry spell.

[Bronco_Beerslug]

Trust is important. But it's foolish to have total trust.

Any woman that would consider a relationship with you with your life's philosophy would be an idiot.

[Mr. Trout]

I don't think I could ever trust a woman. Of course I have been in a frat for a few years.

[Jason in LA]

Any woman that would consider a relationship with you with your life's philosophy would be an idiot.

I think it was Slap that said that when you have an arguement with somebody, you kind of adopt them for a few days. They'll follow you around trying to start sh**. Looks like Slap was right.

We had a debate in one thread. I don't see the need to fight with you in every damn thread.

Are we enemies or something? I don't feel the need to be childish.

[Bronco_Beerslug]

I think it was Slap that said that when you have an arguement with somebody, you kind of adopt them for a few days. They'll follow you around trying to start sh**. Looks like Slap was right.

We had a debate in one thread. I don't see the need to fight with you in every damn thread.

Are we enemies or something? I don't feel the need to be childish.
LOL
Find the ignore button if it's a problem for you. You say more stupid sh*t than just about anyone here (right up there with that Majkowski loving dude).

[Bronco_Beerslug]

I don't think I could ever trust a woman. Of course I have been in a frat for a few years.Weren't you the one complaining about not getting laid not too long ago?

[Jason in LA]

Okay, lets put all the women on notice. If you want to have lunch with your ex-boyfriends, if you want to take a "girls vacation" to Cancun with your single friends, if you want your date to spend $100+ on you, if you want to make him wait months to get some action, don't date Jason in LA. Bronco Beerslug is the man you want. He'll marry you, let you walk all over him, and he won't divorce you. He won't even get a pre-nup. So after you cheat on him and treat him like crap, you can take half of his money.

[Bronco_Beerslug]

Okay, lets put all the women on notice. If you want to have lunch with your ex-boyfriends, if you want to take a "girls vacation" to Cancun with your single friends, if you want your date to spend $100+ on you, if you want to make him wait months to get some action, don't date Jason in LA. Bronco Beerslug is the man you want. He'll marry you, let you walk all over him, and he won't divorce you. He won't even get a pre-nup. So after you cheat on him and treat him like crap, you can take half of his money.
ROFL!
I was wrong, the Majkowski loving dude has MORE going for him than you do.
You're hatred for women is awesome! Maybe you should try dating men (you know, trust them a little more, spend less than $100 on a date and not have to worry about them cheating or a pre-nup)?

[Jason in LA]

I love women. I'm just not going to be run over by them. I'll leave that up to you.

[smalltowngrll]

Okay, lets put all the women on notice. If you want to have lunch with your ex-boyfriends, if you want to take a "girls vacation" to Cancun with your single friends, if you want your date to spend $100+ on you, if you want to make him wait months to get some action, don't date Jason in LA.

Jason...sorry to break it to ya....but, we figured that one out ourselves! ;) We aren't so stupid that ya have to explain it to us! :strong:

As for the rest of your statement....why would we want to cheat and walk all over someone that treats us with respect? It's the guy that disrespects me that gets no respect in return!

[TailgateNut]

I was not too thrilled when my divorce was final, but I was very very happy when I finished paying her off.

No kids, thank God, but I literally paid her to go away and to quit making my life a living breathing hell.

Since then, things have been jolly, and wife #2 has more than made up for how utterly evil the first one was.


Looks like we have quite a few things in common! :thumbs: The only difference was that I had a child with my EX and it was expensive to get custody of him after our divorce, and being a single parent for 6 years was tough, but worth it!

[Jason in LA]

As for the rest of your statement....why would we want to cheat and walk all over someone that treats us with respect?

Nice guys get disrespected the most. And they give women nothing but respect. Nice guys get walked all over and cheated on all the time.

I'm not saying that men should disrespect women. I don't. I hold myself up to the same standards that I hold anybody else up to. I expect to be respected, and I'm going to give that respect back.

But when I'm about to be disrespected or walked all over I put my foot down. And I have no problem with just walking away from a woman.

I don't give women any problems and I don't let them give me any problems.

[Jason in LA]

Jason...sorry to break it to ya....but, we figured that one out ourselves! ;) We aren't so stupid that ya have to explain it to us! :strong:



When you say that, does that mean that you would like your boyfriend/husband to allow you to have lunch with an ex-boyfriend, or to go on the "girls vacation", or you want a man to spend $100+ on a date with you?

[Bronco_Beerslug]

Nice guys get disrespected the most. And they give women nothing but respect. Nice guys get walked all over and cheated on all the time.

LOL
Just how in the hell do you know this, because you think you're a nice guy and it happened to you?

[alkemical]

Look people are going to do what they are. If someone cheats on you or doesn't give you the same equal respect you give, then they aren't for you IMO.

Of course, if said person is just a miserable SOB - i can see it being that way (divorce).

But i know many a man who has dicked over a woman, then became so jaded when the woman returned the favor - not realizing the karma and irony in the situation.

[smalltowngrll]

When you say that, does that mean that you would like your boyfriend/husband to allow you to have lunch with an ex-boyfriend, or to go on the "girls vacation", or you want a man to spend $100+ on a date with you?

Well, said boyfriend/husband would come along on the lunch...if I were to ever have a lunch with an ex bf. Girls vacation, I'm sure he'd have no problem with it. However, said man would also know me well enough if he was taking me on a date that the money he spends, really doesn't matter to me. I'd much rather go on a hike, Mt. Bike or just have coffee. I don't need a man to treat me to a meal at $75+ for dinner, take me to a movie at $35+ or anything of that nature. If that's what he CHOOSES to do, then that's what he CHOOSES...but, to EXPECT something in return is wrong. Will he get it? Well, if he knows me well enough, then he'll already know the answer to that before he even asks me on the date. I've only gone on ONE date in my life with someone that I didn't already have a good friendship with. Well, that was a disaster! LOL

Nice guys get disrespected the most. And they give women nothing but respect. Nice guys get walked all over and cheated on all the time.

I'm not saying that men should disrespect women. I don't. I hold myself up to the same standards that I hold anybody else up to. I expect to be respected, and I'm going to give that respect back.

But when I'm about to be disrespected or walked all over I put my foot down. And I have no problem with just walking away from a woman.

I don't give women any problems and I don't let them give me any problems.

I'm sure every single person on this board could give you a story or two of being disrespected at least once in their dating endeavors. However, if you were to research those that have successfull, lasting marriages, you will find that it comes from TOTAL trust in the other combined with a genuine friendship along with total committment to that person. It is putting the other person first! When both parties are putting the other person first, they forget about their own desires. Marriage isn't a 50-50 it's a 100-100! Sometimes on party is giving 30 and the other is giving 100 and sometimes it's the exact opposite. But, when you are focused on the other person, you then take your eyes off of yourself.

Sorry, I think I digressed there. Noone expects you to be a doormat. But, that's where taking the time to get to know someone before a relationship is key.

[Jason in LA]

Well, said boyfriend/husband would come along on the lunch...if I were to ever have a lunch with an ex bf. Girls vacation, I'm sure he'd have no problem with it. However, said man would also know me well enough if he was taking me on a date that the money he spends, really doesn't matter to me. I'd much rather go on a hike, Mt. Bike or just have coffee. I don't need a man to treat me to a meal at $75+ for dinner, take me to a movie at $35+ or anything of that nature. If that's what he CHOOSES to do, then that's what he CHOOSES...but, to EXPECT something in return is wrong. Will he get it? Well, if he knows me well enough, then he'll already know the answer to that before he even asks me on the date. I've only gone on ONE date in my life with someone that I didn't already have a good friendship with. Well, that was a disaster! LOL



I'm sure every single person on this board could give you a story or two of being disrespected at least once in their dating endeavors. However, if you were to research those that have successfull, lasting marriages, you will find that it comes from TOTAL trust in the other combined with a genuine friendship along with total committment to that person. It is putting the other person first! When both parties are putting the other person first, they forget about their own desires. Marriage isn't a 50-50 it's a 100-100! Sometimes on party is giving 30 and the other is giving 100 and sometimes it's the exact opposite. But, when you are focused on the other person, you then take your eyes off of yourself.

Sorry, I think I digressed there. Noone expects you to be a doormat. But, that's where taking the time to get to know someone before a relationship is key.

If my girlfriend asks me to come with her on a lunch date with her ex, the first thing I'm going to do is ask her why she's talking to her ex. I wouldn't disrespect her like that. I wouldn't be talking to ex-girlfriends and making lunch dates. If she brought that up, then she can just go ahead on that lunch date. But she shouldn't expect me to be there when she got back.

I'm sure you know what happens on those "girl vacations". 3-4 women go to Cancun, without their boyfriends, and they'll be around a bunch of hot guys. Come on now, do we look that stupid? Well, some guys are, seeing that some guys let their girlfriends do that. If my girlfriend went on one of those, she shouldn't expect me to be there when she got back.

It's surprising that women see that as okay for them to do. But if a guy said that he was going to have lunch with an ex, the current girlfriend would be hot, even if he invited her along. I don't know any guy who would even try that, and I don't know any girl who would go for it. But women seem to find it okay for them to do it. And if I told a girlfriend that I was going to some small beach town where there are nothing but hot chicks, and she wasn't coming, you think that would go over well??

As for the trust part, trust to a point is very important, but total trust leads people to get hurt. I'll trust a woman to do what she does, to live her life the way she sees fit, but I'm not about to trust her with her ex-boyfriend. Only a fool would do that.

[STBumpkin]

If my girlfriend asks me to come with her on a lunch date with her ex, the first thing I'm going to do is ask her why she's talking to her ex. I wouldn't disrespect her like that. I wouldn't be talking to ex-girlfriends and making lunch dates. If she brought that up, then she can just go ahead on that lunch date. But she shouldn't expect me to be there when she got back.

I'm sure you know what happens on those "girl vacations". 3-4 women go to Cancun, without their boyfriends, and they'll be around a bunch of hot guys. Come on now, do we look that stupid? Well, some guys are, seeing that some guys let their girlfriends do that. If my girlfriend went on one of those, she shouldn't expect me to be there when she got back.

It's surprising that women see that as okay for them to do. But if a guy said that he was going to have lunch with an ex, the current girlfriend would be hot, even if he invited her along. I don't know any guy who would even try that, and I don't know any girl who would go for it. But women seem to find it okay for them to do it. And if I told a girlfriend that I was going to some small beach town where there are nothing but hot chicks, and she wasn't coming, you think that would go over well??

As for the trust part, trust to a point is very important, but total trust leads people to get hurt. I'll trust a woman to do what she does, to live her life the way she sees fit, but I'm not about to trust her with her ex-boyfriend. Only a fool would do that.

If my girlfriend asks to go to work, and there are guys there, she can go, but not expect me to be there when she gets back.

If my girlfriend wants to go buy groceries, she better go to one of those all women supermarkets, because if she goes to a King Super's where she might be seen by or even *GASP* talk to another male, she better not expect me to be there when she gets back.

Luckily, my girlfriend stays at home, locked in the kitchen. I let her out when I come home so that she can do her girlfriendly duties in the bedroom. Anyone who doesn't take these precautions is a fool.

You really have some jealousy/self esteem/confidence issues if you are so worried about any gf of your's cheating on you.

[smalltowngrll]

If my girlfriend asks me to come with her on a lunch date with her ex, the first thing I'm going to do is ask her why she's talking to her ex. I wouldn't disrespect her like that. I wouldn't be talking to ex-girlfriends and making lunch dates. If she brought that up, then she can just go ahead on that lunch date. But she shouldn't expect me to be there when she got back.

I'm sure you know what happens on those "girl vacations". 3-4 women go to Cancun, without their boyfriends, and they'll be around a bunch of hot guys. Come on now, do we look that stupid? Well, some guys are, seeing that some guys let their girlfriends do that. If my girlfriend went on one of those, she shouldn't expect me to be there when she got back.

It's surprising that women see that as okay for them to do. But if a guy said that he was going to have lunch with an ex, the current girlfriend would be hot, even if he invited her along. I don't know any guy who would even try that, and I don't know any girl who would go for it. But women seem to find it okay for them to do it. And if I told a girlfriend that I was going to some small beach town where there are nothing but hot chicks, and she wasn't coming, you think that would go over well??

As for the trust part, trust to a point is very important, but total trust leads people to get hurt. I'll trust a woman to do what she does, to live her life the way she sees fit, but I'm not about to trust her with her ex-boyfriend. Only a fool would do that.


If my bf wanted to go have lunch with the ex, then by all means...go! That shows me he knows how to relate with people and doesn't hold grudges. If he wants to go on a "guy trip"....by all means....go! That's just how much I trust! Not every man is out to cheat or sleep with every woman they see. If I'm on a girls trip (which I did go on a girls trip to Jamaica two years ago) and I'm exclusive with someone...you can bet your life I'm faithful. Not every woman wants to party with men and have fun when she's already got a good guy. Some of us love lieing around on the beach or at the pool all day long.

If I'm in a relationship, and it's not filled with complete trust...it just won't last! There is NO ROOM at all for jealousy of ANY TYPE! That breeds and harbors feelings that will destroy any relationship. No two ways about it!

Maybe I'm wrong, Jason. But, if you can't trust the women you are with, then maybe you are hanging out with the wrong kind of women. Seriously. Now, again...you've stated you are just out having fun, so that's fine. Those are the kind of women you'll have around you. They are out for the same thing. More power to you both. But, if you are serious about finding someone, or maybe I should say, when you are seriuos about finding someone, then the types of women you are pursuing should change. Otherwise, you are going to end up with someone that you probably can't trust!

[Sassy]

If my bf wanted to go have lunch with the ex, then by all means...go! That shows me he knows how to relate with people and doesn't hold grudges. If he wants to go on a "guy trip"....by all means....go! That's just how much I trust! Not every man is out to cheat or sleep with every woman they see. If I'm on a girls trip (which I did go on a girls trip to Jamaica two years ago) and I'm exclusive with someone...you can bet your life I'm faithful. Not every woman wants to party with men and have fun when she's already got a good guy. Some of us love lieing around on the beach or at the pool all day long.

If I'm in a relationship, and it's not filled with complete trust...it just won't last! There is NO ROOM at all for jealousy of ANY TYPE! That breeds and harbors feelings that will destroy any relationship. No two ways about it!

Maybe I'm wrong, Jason. But, if you can't trust the women you are with, then maybe you are hanging out with the wrong kind of women. Seriously. Now, again...you've stated you are just out having fun, so that's fine. Those are the kind of women you'll have around you. They are out for the same thing. More power to you both. But, if you are serious about finding someone, or maybe I should say, when you are seriuos about finding someone, then the types of women you are pursuing should change. Otherwise, you are going to end up with someone that you probably can't trust!
Well said! :thumbs:

[Jason in LA]

If my girlfriend asks to go to work, and there are guys there, she can go, but not expect me to be there when she gets back.

If my girlfriend wants to go buy groceries, she better go to one of those all women supermarkets, because if she goes to a King Super's where she might be seen by or even *GASP* talk to another male, she better not expect me to be there when she gets back.

Luckily, my girlfriend stays at home, locked in the kitchen. I let her out when I come home so that she can do her girlfriendly duties in the bedroom. Anyone who doesn't take these precautions is a fool.

You really have some jealousy/self esteem/confidence issues if you are so worried about any gf of your's cheating on you.

That is just silly. You are going to compare going to work or the grocery story with going out with an ex-boyfriend? How are the two comparible?

[maher_tyler]

i work in family law and all i can say is you shouldn't get married unless you have common goals with the other person. otherwise, it just seems like a natural procession toward resentment, anger, and eventual dissolution. you'll grow apart if you have different end goals. really investigate that beforehand.

i'd also say don't get married to anyone who's earning ability or asset base is drastically less than yours... you are basically signing yourself up to take a setback should the marriage fail. also, ive noticed marriages based on disperate financial positions tend to fail in our times. I know it's not the rosy picture of the past, but marriage itself commences a most serious fiduciary duty to your spouse... some relationships just aren't ready for that.

and if you're going to have kids, make sure it's someone you're reasonably certain you can co-parent with for 18 years with or without a happy marriage. you owe it to your kids.
good post man!

[Jason in LA]

If my bf wanted to go have lunch with the ex, then by all means...go! That shows me he knows how to relate with people and doesn't hold grudges. If he wants to go on a "guy trip"....by all means....go! That's just how much I trust! Not every man is out to cheat or sleep with every woman they see. If I'm on a girls trip (which I did go on a girls trip to Jamaica two years ago) and I'm exclusive with someone...you can bet your life I'm faithful. Not every woman wants to party with men and have fun when she's already got a good guy. Some of us love lieing around on the beach or at the pool all day long.

If I'm in a relationship, and it's not filled with complete trust...it just won't last! There is NO ROOM at all for jealousy of ANY TYPE! That breeds and harbors feelings that will destroy any relationship. No two ways about it!

Maybe I'm wrong, Jason. But, if you can't trust the women you are with, then maybe you are hanging out with the wrong kind of women. Seriously. Now, again...you've stated you are just out having fun, so that's fine. Those are the kind of women you'll have around you. They are out for the same thing. More power to you both. But, if you are serious about finding someone, or maybe I should say, when you are seriuos about finding someone, then the types of women you are pursuing should change. Otherwise, you are going to end up with someone that you probably can't trust!

I'm going to tell you this so you can avoid getting hurt. If a guy tells you that he's going to see his ex-girlfriend, he's going to go out with her to see if he can get some action. If she makes a move on him, he's going to go after it. If he had no interest in her like that he wouldn't go out with her.

I'm telling you this from a guy's point of view.

Chances are if a guy is going ot see his ex-girlfriend he's not going to tell you. He's just going to do it.

[STBumpkin]

you're right, my examples are silly. I intended them to be to make a point. Where do you draw the line on what she can and can't do without you leaving her? There is nothing wrong with being friends with somebody you have dated in the past. You should be secure enough in your relationship with your significant other to not worry about a little lunch, especially if she invites you along! How about a night on the town with the girls, or a batchelorette party that she wants to attend? They are just shortened versions of a 'girls only' getaway on some beach somewhere. I say just trust her. If you don't feel you can, then get out of the relationship.

[STBumpkin]

I'm going to tell you this so you can avoid getting hurt. If a guy tells you that he's going to see his ex-girlfriend, he's going to go out with her to see if he can get some action. If she makes a move on him, he's going to go after it. If he had no interest in her like that he wouldn't go out with her.

I'm telling you this from a guy's point of view.

Chances are if a guy is going ot see his ex-girlfriend he's not going to tell you. He's just going to do it.

Here's another guy's point of view. I am always friends first with the women I have dated. All but a few have ended amicably, so I see no reason to end the friendship just because the romantic relationship has ended. I keep in touch with and even occasionally see socially those who remain my friends. They know that I am in a committed relationship and even if they didn't, they would find out very quickly if they 'make a move on me'. If I am having lunch with one of them, it is because we are friends and want to catch up. Nothing more. Not everything is about sex Jason.

[Jason in LA]

you're right, my examples are silly. I intended them to be to make a point. Where do you draw the line on what she can and can't do without you leaving her? There is nothing wrong with being friends with somebody you have dated in the past. You should be secure enough in your relationship with your significant other to not worry about a little lunch, especially if she invites you along! How about a night on the town with the girls, or a batchelorette party that she wants to attend? They are just shortened versions of a 'girls only' getaway on some beach somewhere. I say just trust her. If you don't feel you can, then get out of the relationship.

I draw the line at situations that can easily lead to cheating. I don't mean to sound like I'm controlling. I have no problem with her doing what she does. Going to work, hanging out with her friends, going to places where she goes. She can live her life, just like I'm going to live my life.

But going out with ex-boyfriends? Nope. If she still has any feelings for him, which is normal, then there's a chance that she'll cheat. Going to some far off beach with other girls that are looking for hot guys can lead to cheating. Going to dance clubs with her friends, where guys will be all over her.

I wouldn't put myself in a situation where I would possibly cheat. It's about respect, right? I'm not going to disrespect her. So I don't want her to disrespect me like that.

I don't think it's asking too much that your partner stay away from situations that leads to cheating.

[Jason in LA]

Here's another guy's point of view. I am always friends first with the women I have dated. All but a few have ended amicably, so I see no reason to end the friendship just because the romantic relationship has ended. I keep in touch with and even occasionally see socially those who remain my friends. They know that I am in a committed relationship and even if they didn't, they would find out very quickly if they 'make a move on me'. If I am having lunch with one of them, it is because we are friends and want to catch up. Nothing more. Not everything is about sex Jason.

Most women wouldn't see it like that, and they shouldn't. I have never been with a woman that I felt would be cool with me going to see an ex. If she was cool with it, I would think there was something wrong with her. It would lead me to believe that she would want to see her ex, or other guys. Sorry, I'm not a swinger. Either I'm single and free to see who ever I want, or I'm with somebody exclusively. Cheating is wrong, and it's something that I have never done, and will never do. I wouldn't want to do somebody that I'm supposed to care about like that. I'm not going to let somebody do that to me.

[STBumpkin]

Most women wouldn't see it like that, and they shouldn't. I have never been with a woman that I felt would be cool with me going to see an ex. If she was cool with it, I would think there was something wrong with her. It would lead me to believe that she would want to see her ex, or other guys. Sorry, I'm not a swinger. Either I'm single and free to see who ever I want, or I'm with somebody exclusively. Cheating is wrong, and it's something that I have never done, and will never do. I wouldn't want to do somebody that I'm supposed to care about like that. I'm not going to let somebody do that to me.
So you don't have any female friends that are just friends? If you do and you start dating a woman exclusively, you don't ever see them again? That is what I am talking about. Once I am no longer dating one of these women, they are just my friends again, nothing more.

I also think cheating is the worst thing one can do in a relationship, have never done it, and would never do it. There is no position I could place myself in where I might cheat. It just doesn't exist. I know my fiance trusts me unconditionally and so there is no way I could/would ever do anything to break that trust. I have the same trust in her, and know she would never cheat either. That is why I have no problems with her going clubbing or to the beach with her girlfriends. With this kind of trust, there is no worrying. I hope you find it someday, it is such a freeing feeling.

[Bronco_Beerslug]

I'm going to tell you this so you can avoid getting hurt. If a guy tells you that he's going to see his ex-girlfriend, he's going to go out with her to see if he can get some action.

Maybe you should get out of the being "great" in athletics business and start a male counseling service. Your stereotyping, generalization and bias traits would play well for the dudes out there that could never ever trust a female again after getting dumped on earlier in their lives.

[Jason in LA]

So you don't have any female friends that are just friends? If you do and you start dating a woman exclusively, you don't ever see them again? That is what I am talking about. Once I am no longer dating one of these women, they are just my friends again, nothing more.

I also think cheating is the worst thing one can do in a relationship, have never done it, and would never do it. There is no position I could place myself in where I might cheat. It just doesn't exist. I know my fiance trusts me unconditionally and so there is no way I could/would ever do anything to break that trust. I have the same trust in her, and know she would never cheat either. That is why I have no problems with her going clubbing or to the beach with her girlfriends. With this kind of trust, there is no worrying. I hope you find it someday, it is such a freeing feeling.

I do have female friends, but if I'm with one woman I'm going to respect her by not seeing other women. Most of the women that are just friends I know through certain groups or people. So I'll still be intouch when I meet with those groups or people. But I avoid the one-on-one encounters when I'm with one woman. And I expect her to show me the same type of respect.

[Jason in LA]

There is no position I could place myself in where I might cheat. It just doesn't exist. I know my fiance trusts me unconditionally and so there is no way I could/would ever do anything to break that trust. I have the same trust in her, and know she would never cheat either. That is why I have no problems with her going clubbing or to the beach with her girlfriends. With this kind of trust, there is no worrying. I hope you find it someday, it is such a freeing feeling.

I know myself. I'm a guy. I think like a guy, with the wrong head. So it's best that I just avoid situations that will lead me to cheat. So I'm not going to see my ex's or go out with other women.

I don't think anybody can know for sure that their partner will not cheat. Sure, you can say that, but you don't really know. Many people hide things very well. There are a ton of people who thought that very thing then they find out that they were wrong.

[Sassy]

So Jason...you're pretty much saying that long distance relationships would never work...

[Jason in LA]

I would never have a long distance relationship. I don't know, maybe it has worked for some people. Maybe it seemed to work, but one person really cheated. How would you really know?

One reason I wouldn't do a long distant relationship is because I like to be active. I can't be active with somebody that's not here. I'm not about to cheat. So I would end the relationship if one of us moved away.

[Sassy]

Your girl could just as easily cheat on you even if she lived with you.
Trust is essential. Otherwise, you just spend the whole time wondering...it must really suck to be so cynical all the time.

[Jason in LA]

Sure, she could cheat on me while living with me. But at least I would have a chance to see the signs.

But the bigger issue is not having her with me. If she's not with me, what's the point of being together? I'm not one for waiting.

It doesn't suck to be cynical on some issues. I'm limiting the chances of being cheated on. Why is that a bad thing?

[Sassy]

Sure, she could cheat on me while living with me. But at least I would have a chance to see the signs.

But the bigger issue is not having her with me. If she's not with me, what's the point of being together? I'm not one for waiting.

It doesn't suck to be cynical on some issues. I'm limiting the chances of being cheated on. Why is that a bad thing?
I just don't think that that's going to limit the chances of being cheated on...the type of gal you go out with is what is going to limit the chances or not. If she's going to cheat, she's going to cheat...but not all gals are like that.

[TailgateNut]

Jason, Jason, Jason.....I feel really sorry for you! I hope that some day you'll be able to enjoy a relationship based on trust. If your relationships are so weak that you constantly worry about your significant other cheating on you, or you cheating on them due to your "other head" then I can only suggest not dating at all!
All of that worrying will eventually affect your health, mentally and physically. Jealousy destroys many relationship which would have possibly flourished if one or both partners exhibited the trust required to build lasting relationships!

[Crushaholic]

Jason, trust is the foundation for any relationship. If you don't truly trust your partner, all you have is a "fun fling", IMO.

[alkemical]

what you hate, you bring closer to having happen to you - in order for you to either learn from it, or something else that you need to figure out.

I had a girl cheat on me, and i still sometimes hold some women hating views - but all in all - nothing is more free than just living.

[Victor]

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

[Jason in LA]

I guess I'm not getting my point across, and I'm coming off as some parinod control freak.

That's not the case. I believe that in an exclusive relationship each person should keep some level of independence. I've had issues with that before. I've had a woman try to stop me from doing what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. When I wasn't availible she'd accuse me of cheating on her. I want a woman to let me be me, and I'll let her be her. I'm not going to stop her from doing the activities that she does. I'm not going to be checking up on her to make sure nothing is going on. I'm not going to control her. And I don't want to be controlled.

What I'm trying to say is that I don't want her to do activities that people do when they are looking to hook up with other people. I don't want her going out with her ex-boyfriend, and telling me that they are just frineds. I don't want her going out with any other guys. If she is, then why are we together? Sorry, but if she says "I'm going out with this guy. Don't worry, we're just friends", I'm not going to be like "okay honey, just don't be too late". I'm not going to be the fool.

I'm sure you've all heard the Biz Markie song "Just a Friend". The guy is exactly right. "Never trust a girl who says she just has a friend."

And this total trust thing, I don't think you guys have as much trust as you guys think. We all draw the line somewhere. If your boyfriend/girlfriend said that they were invited by a "friend" of the opposite sex for dinner at their house, you would be okay with that? You would have that much trust? Do not answer by saying that your partner wouldn't do that. Just answer the question. I don't think any of you would let your partner do that.

All I'm saying to a woman is don't do "hook-up" activities. Why is there a problem with me asking that out of a woman? There are many women in the clubs and on the girls vacation to some remote beach without their man. A lot of those women are hooking up.

If my woman wants to go out dancing, then I'll take her. If she wants to go to Cancun, then I'll take her.

But I'm not going to let her act as if she's single when she's not.

I have trusted my past girlfriends. But not total trust. I trust them to a point. It's not smart to trust a person to the point that they can make a fool out of you.

[Jason in LA]

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

This is so true.

The funny thing about it is everytime a woman is told that all her guy friends really want to sleep with her, she never wants to believe it.

[alkemical]

I have friends that are women, and i have nooooooo interest in sleeping with them.... again anyways -



seriously - i have probably 5 friends that are women - i have absolutley no interest in 3 of them as anything BUT friends - i've seen how they are with their men and - huh uh - nope....

one, i did once, but never again - she has some 'issues' where things are more fantasy

and the other - i've known forever - we are more family than anything -she's cute - but there's no attraction at all -

I think it's all upon the individual -

[TailgateNut]

I guess I'm not getting my point across, and I'm coming off as some parinod control freak.

That's not the case. I believe that in an exclusive relationship each person should keep some level of independence. I've had issues with that before. I've had a woman try to stop me from doing what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. When I wasn't availible she'd accuse me of cheating on her. I want a woman to let me be me, and I'll let her be her. I'm not going to stop her from doing the activities that she does. I'm not going to be checking up on her to make sure nothing is going on. I'm not going to control her. And I don't want to be controlled.

What I'm trying to say is that I don't want her to do activities that people do when they are looking to hook up with other people. I don't want her going out with her ex-boyfriend, and telling me that they are just frineds. I don't want her going out with any other guys. If she is, then why are we together? Sorry, but if she says "I'm going out with this guy. Don't worry, we're just friends", I'm not going to be like "okay honey, just don't be too late". I'm not going to be the fool.

I'm sure you've all heard the Biz Markie song "Just a Friend". The guy is exactly right. "Never trust a girl who says she just has a friend."

And this total trust thing, I don't think you guys have as much trust as you guys think. We all draw the line somewhere. If your boyfriend/girlfriend said that they were invited by a "friend" of the opposite sex for dinner at their house, you would be okay with that? You would have that much trust? Do not answer by saying that your partner wouldn't do that. Just answer the question. I don't think any of you would let your partner do that.

All I'm saying to a woman is don't do "hook-up" activities. Why is there a problem with me asking that out of a woman? There are many women in the clubs and on the girls vacation to some remote beach without their man. A lot of those women are hooking up.

If my woman wants to go out dancing, then I'll take her. If she wants to go to Cancun, then I'll take her.

But I'm not going to let her act as if she's single when she's not.

I have trusted my past girlfriends. But not total trust. I trust them to a point. It's not smart to trust a person to the point that they can make a fool out of you.


What are "hook up activities"???

Newsflash: If you're not married to her, She IS single!

From what I'm reading, you are in for a long "single life"!
Quote "I have trusted my past girlfriends. But not total trust. I trust them to a point. It's not smart to trust a person to the point that they can make a fool out of you".

[alkemical]

If you look for it you will find it.... good or bad.

[bendog]

If somebody is really, truly your best friend. They won't f you over. I woudn't say sex is overrated, but if you go into a marriage with sex being the driving force rather than friendship, I don't like your chances.

[STBumpkin]

And this total trust thing, I don't think you guys have as much trust as you guys think. We all draw the line somewhere. If your boyfriend/girlfriend said that they were invited by a "friend" of the opposite sex for dinner at their house, you would be okay with that? You would have that much trust? Do not answer by saying that your partner wouldn't do that. Just answer the question. I don't think any of you would let your partner do that.

I wouldn't like it, but I wouldn't be suspicious of ulterior (sp?) motives, at least on her part. One of the problems in your thought process is that you think that you could control what she does. I would never say "I won't let you do that" because I don't control her, she is her own person. I would let her know that I don't like it, and she would say "ok, I won't go OR ok, let me ask if you can come too, and if not, I won't go." If I told her I was uncomfortable with it, she wouldn't go. Total trust does not equal zero jealousy.

P.S. She wouldn't do that

[alkemical]

Not to mention it is HUMAN to feel jealous, you just don't let it consume you.

This woman i'm very much interested in, we've been friends for over 10years - we dated briefly back in HS - When she was married and would visit home, nothing would happen - i respected her marriage, and she was married - she wasn't looking for an 'excuse to cheat' - she just didn't.

Things like that, build trust too - if you can't trust any woman - because there are 'men' in the world - you are projecting your fear onto hear - and then you will have happen what you want to have happen - to justify your fears and your gaurded nature.