Michelle Wie's Next Career Move

[TexanBob]

ESPN owns a piece of teen golfer Michelle Wie. That's pretty obvious. They have pimped this girl like no tomorrow. But, lately, she hasn't been getting the pub she had previously (not winning can do that).

Given the fact that ESPN *lives* for every drop that drips from the mouths of utter jerks like Terrell Owens and Barry Bonds, I have a suggestion for Ms. Wie: You need to be a jerk.

You're a rich, spoiled teenaged girl so this really should be easy for you, but apparently not to ESPN's standards, so here's some suggestions:

* Hold out from golfing events for more money. Hiring Scott Bora$$ or Drew Ro$enmouth for an agent would certainly help here.

* Badmouth your teammates. Yeah, golf doesn't really have teammates but they do have playing partners so go off about how much better a player you would be if Annika Sorenstam or Laura Davies wasn't stinking up the joint.

* Challenge Danica Patrick to a PPV mud-wrestling event.

* Take up a banned substance as a hobby.

* Treat the fans like dirt. Refuse to sign autographs. Complain that one time you broke a nail signing one and you vowed never again to sign anything you didn't have to.

* Wear black leather pants on the links with a skimpy top.

* Do a spread for Playboy.

* Hook up with Matt Leinart.

* Or, worse, hook up with John Daly.

* Win some tournaments. Ultimately, you can't stay on top unless you win. Ask Anna Kournikova. Eventually, you got to notch some W's.

You're 15 minutes is just about up, dearie. You need to do something to keep your name atop ESPN's leaderboard. You'll need to do what practically every other teen female pop icon has done when their looks and talent could no longer sustain them - go trashy. Just do it.

Pedro Gomez is waiting for you.

[Rocket 7]

* Wear black leather pants on the links with a skimpy top.

* Do a spread for Playboy.

* Hook up with Matt Leinart.

* Or, worse, hook up with John Daly.

Not good advice for a seventeen year old

[yavoon]

is this suppose to be funny?

[Sarcastro]

So why is Wie being equated to Bonds and Owens? Why is she being called rich and spoiled. Why did TexanBob post this thread? Why didn't TexanBob include a "Get TexanBob to stop posting" as an option for the best possible thing Wie could do next.

[yavoon]

and unlike anna wie is the second rated female golfer in the world.

[Meck77]

So why is Wie being equated to Bonds and Owens? Why is she being called rich and spoiled. Why did TexanBob post this thread?

That's kinda what I was thinking. I don't much about Wei other than she's a pretty good golfer.

[ro_50]

This is a useless thread.

[GonzoLays]

Damn, why all the hate for Michelle Wie?

[Rocket 7]

Damn, why all the hate for Michelle Wie?
Young, rich, talented. Always gonna be haters

[CBF1]

A loser thread by loser in life. No need for this trash.

[ro_50]

Young, rich, talented. Always gonna be haters

BINGO.

[azbroncfan]

ESPN owns a piece of teen golfer Michelle Wie. That's pretty obvious. They have pimped this girl like no tomorrow. But, lately, she hasn't been getting the pub she had previously (not winning can do that).

Given the fact that ESPN *lives* for every drop that drips from the mouths of utter jerks like Terrell Owens and Barry Bonds, I have a suggestion for Ms. Wie: You need to be a jerk.

You're a rich, spoiled teenaged girl so this really should be easy for you, but apparently not to ESPN's standards, so here's some suggestions:

* Hold out from golfing events for more money. Hiring Scott Bora$$ or Drew Ro$enmouth for an agent would certainly help here.

* Badmouth your teammates. Yeah, golf doesn't really have teammates but they do have playing partners so go off about how much better a player you would be if Annika Sorenstam or Laura Davies wasn't stinking up the joint.

* Challenge Danica Patrick to a PPV mud-wrestling event.

* Take up a banned substance as a hobby.

* Treat the fans like dirt. Refuse to sign autographs. Complain that one time you broke a nail signing one and you vowed never again to sign anything you didn't have to.

* Wear black leather pants on the links with a skimpy top.

* Do a spread for Playboy.

* Hook up with Matt Leinart.

* Or, worse, hook up with John Daly.

* Win some tournaments. Ultimately, you can't stay on top unless you win. Ask Anna Kournikova. Eventually, you got to notch some W's.

You're 15 minutes is just about up, dearie. You need to do something to keep your name atop ESPN's leaderboard. You'll need to do what practically every other teen female pop icon has done when their looks and talent could no longer sustain them - go trashy. Just do it.Pedro Gomez is waiting for you.

I agree that she should try to win a LPGA event before entering all these mens events. But in her defense she is a teenager and most golfers don't play pro until mid 20's. I'd say she is ahead of the learning curve. You'd feel pretty bad texan bob if you played golf with her and she would be blasting it 50 yards past you.

[TexanBob]

Perhaps I should highlight the key phrase for the premise of this thread:

Given the fact that ESPN *lives* for every drop that drips from the mouths of utter jerks like Terrell Owens and Barry Bonds, I have a suggestion for Ms. Wie: You need to be a jerk.

At the risk of pointing out the blatantly obvious, ESPN gives their media love to sport's biggest jerks - Terrell Owens, Barry Bonds, Ron Artest, Roger Clemens. The bigger the jerk, the more ESPN loves you and hires ******s like Pedro Gomez to follow you around.

The whole thing is not a slam at Wie (other than pointing out that she isn't the dominant golfer ESPN wants her to be). It's a slam at Worldwide Leader and their choice of who they promote. If anything, you could say I'm criticizing Wie for being too nice.

Next time, I'll try a board with better reading comprehension.

[GonzoLays]

You're a rich, spoiled teenaged girl so this really should be easy for you, but apparently not to ESPN's standards, so here's some suggestions:

Reading comprehension you say?

What a noob.

[GonzoLays]

Next time, I'll try a board with better reading comprehension.

I believe you are lowering the board's IQ.

[footstepsfrom#27]

This is a perfect example of why Texans get a bad wrap. Living down here...I can attest to the fact that there are numerous TexanBillyBob's with the same idiotic views.

Fortunately it's still a poor idea to use the exception to prove the rule.

[UKBronco]

I thought this thread was about a Nintendo games console :thumbsup:

[footstepsfrom#27]

The whole thing is not a slam at Wie (other than pointing out that she isn't the dominant golfer ESPN wants her to be).
Yeah, I can understand why calling her a spoiled little rich brat who needs to mud wrestle with another female sports figure and pose nude for playboy needn't be taken personally...

No child left behind left a bunch.

[Bronco LB 59]

Was I the only sick minded adult male who enjoyed this thread?

Forget dating rumors, I want to see a lesbian sex tape with Lindsey Lohan.

[Bronco_Beerslug]

is this suppose to be funny?
You mean you aren't yukking it up?

[ZachKC]

is this suppose to be funny?
LOL

[yavoon]

You mean you aren't yukking it up?

=D

[Nuggets4]

I believe you are lowering the board's IQ.

But I thought Bob was raising the board's IQ.

[Popps]

Definitely one of the weirdest threads so far this off-season.