Generic Weird News Thread.

[Old Dude]

Instead of starting a new thread for each weirdo, I thought I'd just make this a generic thread.

First up:

Getting ahead of customs agents.

MIAMI (Reuters) - A Haitian national who packed a skull in her suitcase on a flight to Florida's Fort Lauderdale airport was charged Friday with "smuggling a human head."

U.S. prosecutors said they also charged Florida resident Myrlene Severe, who was arrested Thursday, with failing to declare the head on a customs declaration form and transporting hazardous material. The skull had "organic matter" on it, they said.

"Severe stated that she had obtained the package, which contained the human head, from a male in Haiti for use as a part of her voodoo beliefs," the U.S. attorney for the Southern District of Florida said in a statement.

"Severe also stated that the purpose of the package was to ward off evil spirits," the U.S. attorney's office added.

While 80 percent of Haiti's 8.5 million people are Roman Catholic and 16 percent Protestant, more than half also say they practice voodoo, an Afro-Caribbean religion whose roots go back 6,000 years or more in Africa.

Each of the charges carries a maximum punishment of five years in prison.

It was unclear who Severe's attorney was, but the prosecutor's office said bail was set at $100,000 during an initial appearance before U.S. Magistrate Judge Lurana Snow in Fort Lauderdale, and Severe would be arraigned on March 2.

[Old Dude]

Not all the third world hates us ...

By Peter Carlson
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, January 31, 2006; C02

On the South Pacific island of Tanna, beneath a volcano that rumbles and smokes, a guy wearing a fake U.S. Army uniform raises an American flag. Then 40 barefoot men march past, carrying fake rifles made of bamboo, their brown chests decorated with red paint spelling out "USA."

Later, a group of men slinging fake chainsaws sing a homemade hymn: "We've come from America to cut down all the trees so we can build factories."

This isn't a protest or a piece of performance art. It's a religious ceremony held every year on Feb. 15 -- John Frum Day, the high holy day of a South Pacific religion that worships a messiah who is, as Paul Raffaele writes in a wonderfully weird story in the February issue of Smithsonian, "an American god no sober man has ever seen."

Raffaele traveled to the nation of Vanuatu -- formerly known as New Hebrides -- to check out the John Frum religion, one of the last of the famous "cargo cults" that sprang up in the South Pacific in World War II. He tells a story so bizarre that it reads like a Kurt Vonnegut novel.

For centuries, the natives on these isolated islands were farmers and fishermen who created a culture based on polygamy, ritual dancing and the drinking of kava, a powerfully intoxicating beverage made from the roots of a plant. Around 1900, Raffaele writes, Christian missionaries, mostly Scottish Presbyterians, banned polygamy, dancing and kava drinking, which made life on the islands a lot less fun.

One night in the late 1930s, a group of dissatisfied native men gathered in secret and drank large quantities of kava, hoping to receive a message from the spirit world. And they did: An ethereal white-clad white man named John Frum appeared to them, urging that they throw away their money, stop attending Christian churches and return to their ancient ways.

Inspired by this vision, the men threw their money into the sea and held huge feasts to honor John Frum and recruit converts. The colonial authorities were alarmed, and sent the cult's leaders to prison in 1941, but still the Frum religion spread.

Lo and behold, a year later, legions of men dressed in white appeared in the islands. They belonged to the U.S. Navy. They came aboard giant ships and inside huge metal birds and brought wonderful things, including chocolate, cigarettes and Coca-Cola. Many islanders concluded that their prayers to John Frum had been answered.

A few years later, World War II ended and the Americans went home. Since then, John Frum devotees have been drinking kava and praying for Frum to come back and bring more of his wonderful American cargo.

Raffaele arrived in Tanna last February and within hours he was out in the jungle, drinking kava with some Frum worshippers. The stuff tasted "like muddy water," he writes, but it got him very stoned. After his third coconut shell full of kava, his guide carted him back to Raffaele's beach hut.

"By the seaside at my hut," Raffaele writes, "I dance unsteadily to the rhythm of the waves as I try to pluck the shimmering moon from the sky and kiss it."

The next day, Raffaele met a holy man named Chief Isaac, who took him to Yasur, the volcano in which John Frum is said to live when he's not back home in America. Chief Isaac invited Raffaele into the cult's headquarters and showed him the church relics -- an American flag, a carved American eagle and some imitation U.S. Navy uniforms. The chief was very friendly until Raffaele mentioned another Frum priest named Prophet Fred.

"He's a devil," Chief Isaac snarled.

It turns out that Prophet Fred heads an apostate John Frum group that split from Chief Isaac's church. The two Frum sects have been known to fight pitched battles, just like Catholics and Protestants and Sunnis and Shiites. Ain't religion grand?

Raffaele asked the chief what kind of cargo he hopes John Frum will bring to Tanna if he returns.

"A 25-horsepower outboard motor for the village boat," the chief replied. "Then we can catch much fish . . ."

Hey, chief, let's make a deal: I'll trade you an outboard motor for a big barrel of kava. Man, I haven't kissed the moon since I was back in college.

"John promised you much cargo more than 60 years ago and none has come," Raffaele said to Chief Isaac. "Why do you still believe in him?"

Chief Isaac smiled and uttered an irrefutable answer: "You Christians have been waiting 2,000 years for Jesus to return to earth," he said, "and you haven't given up hope."

[Arkie]

Kava....mmm

[watermock]

Scottish Presbyterians, banned polygamy, dancing and kava drinking, which made life on the islands a lot less fun.

Damn them to hell! We need our polygamy, dancing and especially the kave...

[Old Dude]

Attempted Suicide Not Well Thought Out

HARTLAND, ME — A Hartland man was treated at a Pittsfield hospital after he nailed himself to a cross. The 23-year-old man apparently was trying to commit suicide Thursday evening in his living room, the Bangor Daily News reported.

Somerset County Sheriff Barry DeLong said Monday that no charges will be filed. "There is no crime here," he said.

Police said the man appeared delusional and told them he had been "seeing pictures of God on the computer." He told them he had not seen the hit movie "The Passion of the Christ," which depicts the Crucifixion of Jesus.

Lt. Pierre Boucher said the man took two pieces of wood, nailed them together in the form of a cross and placed them on the floor. He attached a suicide sign to the wood and then proceeded to nail one of his hands to the makeshift cross using a 14-penny nail and a hammer.

"When he realized that he was unable to nail his other hand to the board, he called 911," Boucher said.

It was unclear whether the man was seeking assistance for his injury or help in nailing down his other hand.

Hartland Fire Department members responded, said Boucher, and cut off the wood while it was still attached to the man's hand. The wood and the victim were taken to Sebasticook Valley Hospital, where the nail was removed.

Boucher said he did not know whether the man received further treatment.

[Atwater]

Kiss Sends Man to Prison - for Life

SALEM, Ore. - It may have been a borderline call, but it was still a third strike. The Oregon Court of Appeals on Wednesday upheld a ruling that sent Nicholas Meyrovich to life in prison under a 2001 three-strikes law. Meyrovich got his third strike, a felony sex offense, for delivering an unwanted kiss.

Meyrovich, in his appeal, claimed that a life sentence for the kiss violated the Oregon Constitution's ban on cruel and unusual punishment.

Meyrovich, 60, an exterminator, was inspecting the home of a Salem woman in October 2003 when he suddenly grabbed her and kissed her. The woman pushed Meyrovich away, but he took hold of her again and sucked her on the neck, stopping when a neighbor walked in.

Meyrovich was later convicted of first-degree sexual abuse, which under Oregon law requires the forcible touching of the "sexual or other intimate parts" of another person.

Meyrovich argued that the neck is not an intimate part of the body; the court disagreed.

"In ordinary social intercourse, one adult does not touch the neck of another adult outside of intimate relationships, at least not without some unusual but reasonable justification," Judge David Schuman wrote for the panel that decided the case.

The court also disagreed that the sentence was cruel and unusual, noting that the three-strikes law was not aimed at the gravity of a particular crime but at habitual offenders. Schuman wrote that Meyrovich had been convicted of nine prior sex offenses before the kiss.

Meyrovich is one of only four inmates serving life sentences under Oregon's sex offender three-strikes law.

[REB]

People never cease to amaze me...

Mon Feb 13, 10:44 PM ET



WEST FARGO, N.D. - A North Dakota State University student is facing charges after allegedly trying to buy marijuana at the police station.

ADVERTISEMENT

Saturday's incident was "about the craziest thing I've ever come across," Officer Ken Zeeb said. "This is something that you couldn't even make up."

The 20-year-old woman called the police station about 3:15 a.m. Saturday, asking where she could buy marijuana, authorities said. The dispatcher, after repeatedly telling the woman it was illegal to sell and possess marijuana, then told her that police had some of the drug in the station's evidence locker.

Zeeb had arrived for his 4 a.m. shift about 15 minutes early and was in the evidence locker room when the woman arrived.

"The dispatcher got on the intercom and said, 'You know what? She's here. She just handed me $3 for marijuana,'" Zeeb said.

The woman was arrested on charges of criminal attempt and possession of drug paraphernalia.

"She didn't seem like she was really under the influence of drugs or alcohol," Zeeb said. "She understood what was going on and articulated herself well."



http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060214/ap_on_fe_st/bizzare_bust

[Atwater]

People never cease to amaze me...

Mon Feb 13, 10:44 PM ET



WEST FARGO, N.D. - A North Dakota State University student is facing charges after allegedly trying to buy marijuana at the police station.

ADVERTISEMENT

Saturday's incident was "about the craziest thing I've ever come across," Officer Ken Zeeb said. "This is something that you couldn't even make up."

The 20-year-old woman called the police station about 3:15 a.m. Saturday, asking where she could buy marijuana, authorities said. The dispatcher, after repeatedly telling the woman it was illegal to sell and possess marijuana, then told her that police had some of the drug in the station's evidence locker.

Zeeb had arrived for his 4 a.m. shift about 15 minutes early and was in the evidence locker room when the woman arrived.

"The dispatcher got on the intercom and said, 'You know what? She's here. She just handed me $3 for marijuana,'" Zeeb said.

The woman was arrested on charges of criminal attempt and possession of drug paraphernalia.

"She didn't seem like she was really under the influence of drugs or alcohol," Zeeb said. "She understood what was going on and articulated herself well."



http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060214/ap_on_fe_st/bizzare_bust
I heard about that what a frekin idiot and the sad thing is how the article says "She didn't seem like she was really under the influence of drugs or alcohol," . "She understood what was going on and articulated herself well."

[Atwater]

TULSA, Okla. - A family sitting down to dinner had to call police and an ambulance after a man allegedly bit off the nose of his girlfriend, authorities said.

Jody Bennett came out of a back room of a north Tulsa residence on Thursday with a napkin over her face and said her boyfriend, identified as Greg Hill, had bitten her nose.

Medics responding to the house saw that Bennett's nose had been severed and called police.

"We looked around and tried to find a nose but couldn't find it," Cpl. Larry Edwards, a police spokesman, said. "I think he swallowed it."

An ambulance took Bennett, 37, to a local hospital where police talked to emergency room personnel about pumping Hill's stomach to see if the nose was inside, police Cpl. Shane Tuell said.

"They said, given the acid in the stomach, that it would be a futile effort to try and do that," Tuell said.

The nose is made primarily of cartilage and other soft tissues that stomach acid can dissolve quickly.

The couple live in California, and the other people at the house didn't know what led to the assault, Tuell said.

Officers used pepper spray on Hill, 45, after tussling with him as they tried to take him into the custody, Edwards said.

Hill denied biting Bennett's nose, police said.

He was booked into the Tulsa Jail on complaints of aggravated assault and battery, resisting arrest and destroying evidence.

Bennett could receive help from domestic violence groups to recover from her injury if she cooperates with Hill's prosecution should a criminal charge be filed, Tuell said

[Old Dude]

When Baby Showers go Bad ...

http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/8494621/detail.html

SPRINGFIELD, Mass. -- You know a baby shower has gone bad when the pregnant guest of honor winds up being beaten with a stick and a guest is shot.

Indeed, police in Springfield, Mass., are calling it a "baby shower gone bad."

Police said it began with an argument over whether a woman let her 5-year-old daughter drink beer.

When the baby shower's hostess tried to intervene, a man began hitting some of the guests, including the 22-year-old mother-to-be.


Another man fired a gun into the crowd, hitting Aristotle Garcia in the stomach. Garcia is the father of the girl who may or may not have had beer. He is hospitalized in stable condition.

The mother-to-be was treated at a hospital and released. She is seven months pregnant.

Three people were arrested.

[TailgateNut]

I read a blib n the local "Your Hub" edition of the Denver post this week.
The story was filed in the "police and fire dept. reports" section.

Here it is: (I could'nt find a link)

Last week Thornton police receive a call from someone caiming he was robbed. When they arrived at the scene the man told him that he and his sister were asleep when they heard a knock on their apartment door. When the opened the door 4 men barged in and repeatedly shot the man with a BB gun. He informed the Police officers that the intruders then stole his 3# of Marijuana and attempted to steal his expensive bong, but his sister beat one of the intruders over the head with it, and the left with the other loot!



I'd say this guy is on his way to becoming a member of the Mensa Society!

[Old Dude]

File this one under "creepy."

Edward L. Cardenas / The Detroit News

MOUNT CLEMENS -- A 37-year-old man who lived secretly in the home of a teenage girl with whom he had a relationship pleaded guilty Wednesday to two counts of criminal sexual conduct.

Wayne Koch admitted to having a sexual relationship with the girl for nearly two years, starting in 2003 when she was 13.

Initially, Koch lived nearby with his mother; last year she moved out of her St. Clair Shores home and forced him to find a place to live.

He first moved into the garage of the girl's home, without her father's knowledge. Once the cold weather set in, he moved inside the teenager's house and would hide under her bed while the teen's father was home.

"He befriended this little girl and preyed on her youth," said Suzanne Faunce, chief of the Macomb County Prosecutor's Office sex crimes unit. "He would stay in the house and move around when (the father) was not in the house."

The girl, who is not being named because of her age, eventually told her aunt what was going on after she said Koch threatened her with a gun if she didn't continue the relationship.

"Fortunately he is not going to put the girl through a trial," Faunce said.

Koch pleaded guilty to two counts of third degree criminal sexual conduct with a person 13-15 years old, assault with a dangerous weapon and felony firearm before Macomb Circuit Judge James Biernat Sr.

He also admitted to brandishing the gun when the girl wanted to end the relationship.

"I threatened her with a gun," Koch said. "I didn't aim it at her."

Questioned by Biernat about whether he understood the charges, Koch said yes and said that psychiatric medication was helping him. He said he was taking nine prescription pills a day, including the antidepressant Zoloft.

Koch was arrested on Jan. 2 by police following the tip called in by the girl's aunt.

When police searched the home, they found Koch hiding under the bed with the teen's father's Luger handgun.

Faunce said the victim's father has lost custody. The girl is in foster care.

John Belanger, Koch's attorney, did not return a call for comment.

Koch will be sentenced June 27, and faces up to 17 years in prison.


http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060518/METRO03/605180375/1014