I'm officially in the Air Force DEP.

[Ratboy]

Yesterday i took the oath of enlistment to enter the DEP. Now i wait for my ship date and AFSC (Job). Hopefully i don't have to wait too long, but long enough where i can get into shape. I picked 4 jobs, but i can always go back to my recuiter and change them. i plan on changing 1 or 2 once i read up on more jobs. However, i am hoping i get my first choice, 3c0x1 (Computer System Operations). Paralegal was another choice, but the liason said it's a rare job. So i'm going to do more research over the weekend and pick some more that can get me a good job on the outside.

I've read stories of people having to renlist into DEP since they didnt get a job for over a year. I hope i dont have to wait that long.

I signed up for 4 years, and I'll be going in as an E-1. I figured it was better than signing up for 6 years and going in as an E-1. Hopefully i end up loving it, Military is a wonderful oppurtunity and I'm glad i'm getting into the Air Force.

[baja]

Sign up as a personal trainer for the Waves

[HEAV]

You should have gone for mechanics. They would have sent you to Denver!

[Bronx33]

You should have been a marine..

Ps: whos the chick with the big/huge nose in your avatar?

[fountelway]

i was in the air force ten years ago and i will just say dont believe anything your recuiter says. good luck getting the job you want most don't. they usually put you where they have the most need for people. but good luck and hope you enjoy it. i didn't but some people do.

[Tombstone RJ]

Congrats! Once you learn how to task satelites, you'll be in the big leagues for military intelligence!

[watermock]

Being a 5 star General I don't care where they stick your sorry ass..."twirls Pearl revolvers"

Seriously, I don't have a clue on placement...but thank you for serving.

Some fly f-117's....some mop the deck and make hamburgers...oh thats the navy...maybe you can man a nuclear missle and pull a Homer and start ww3

It's an organism and all parts have to function...scooter/beezer is an acomplished aerobact house jumper, but he's not physically able to bly the B-2.

Again, thanks for serving.

Every part is important. Air Force is where I would go too...good luck.

[SoCalBronco]

Congrats Ratboy!!!!

We are very proud of you.

Im sure you will do a great job.

[fountelway]

not very many airman basic's fly f-117's. maybe wash them though

[Ratboy]

You should have been a marine..

Ps: whos the chick with the big/huge nose in your avatar?

Too intense for me. You have to be a special person to be a Marine, I'm not one of them as of now. I'm happy with becoming an Airman.

Ashley Tisdale, Ha! I didn't think her nose was that big.

[Swedish Extrovert]

Tisdale, yes that is Norwegian. I fought a guy named Tisdale once.

So the next four years of your life will probabally be miserable, so just dont for get why you're doing it. Remmemer your resons, and remmember these people treating you like **** are really just trying to accomplish their mission. Then you should be fine.

[Ratboy]

Those ads never fail!

[Swedish Extrovert]

Well I'll be E-4 this March which means technically you have to do everything I say.

[watermock]

Well I'll be E-4 this March which means technically you have to do everything I say.

E-4 you are a mini Patton you wimp...

Make E-5 then brag...

I'm just kidding you...congratulations...E-5 you can really boot

[Dukes]

Congrats on enlisting. It's hard to believe I did it over 4 1/2 years ago. Man where does the time go? Only 497 days left though Ha! And only 3 more days until I make my way over to the sand box. Good luck at getting the job you actually want, rather than the job they give you. And don't worry about messing with any Air Force chicks, they all belong to the Marines, or was we like to call them...... Marine mattresses....... ;D

[Ratboy]

Congrats on enlisting. It's hard to believe I did it over 4 1/2 years ago. Man where does the time go? Only 497 days left though Ha! And only 3 more days until I make my way over to the sand box. Good luck at getting the job you actually want, rather than the job they give you. And don't worry about messing with any Air Force chicks, they all belong to the Marines, or was we like to call them...... Marine mattresses....... ;D

Thanks and Goodluck!

I will remember not to mess with the AF girls, Honestly, with the AF guy to girl ratio being something like 4-1, I doubt i will want to mess with them ;D

[Dukes]

Thanks and Goodluck!

I will remember not to mess with the AF girls, Honestly, with the AF guy to girl ratio being something like 4-1, I doubt i will want to mess with them ;D

You say that now, but depending on your duty station that might change. The girl to guy ratio in the Marines is about 25/1. You would not believe the attention girls get in the Marines. Basically, you have to be breathing to get a date as a woman. Its sad

[ZachKC]

Best of luck to you

[gunns]

Yesterday i took the oath of enlistment to enter the DEP. Now i wait for my ship date and AFSC (Job). Hopefully i don't have to wait too long, but long enough where i can get into shape. I picked 4 jobs, but i can always go back to my recuiter and change them. i plan on changing 1 or 2 once i read up on more jobs. However, i am hoping i get my first choice, 3c0x1 (Computer System Operations). Paralegal was another choice, but the liason said it's a rare job. So i'm going to do more research over the weekend and pick some more that can get me a good job on the outside.

I've read stories of people having to renlist into DEP since they didnt get a job for over a year. I hope i dont have to wait that long.

I signed up for 4 years, and I'll be going in as an E-1. I figured it was better than signing up for 6 years and going in as an E-1. Hopefully i end up loving it, Military is a wonderful oppurtunity and I'm glad i'm getting into the Air Force.

Congrats Ratboy! My son has been in for almost 2 years and loves it. He's a mechanic and he did not go to Denver. He's in Idaho which is pretty desolate but close to home. He was supposed to go to Iraq in January but it's been postponed till May or July, thank God, but it's only for 4 months. My brother was in and was an air traffice controller. Just got out and got a job doing that starting at $75,000/yr.

[Odysseus]

Congratulations. You'll do fine.

Three rules of the military:
1. Get it in writing.
2. File everything.
3. Watch, wait, listen then speak.

[baja]

And never volunteer for anything

[baja]

Always ask for pot and pans when on KP.

[baja]

Always use a rubber. Always!!

[watermock]

Get everything In triplicate...sometimes pentclipicate...

Can you imagine Bang in the Air Force

[baja]

learn how to make your bed better than anyone else, it's the quickest way to get promoted.

[baja]

Never wear anyone else's socks.

[baja]

or underwear

[baja]

never stick you tongue on the metal hoops in the back of the duce and a half if it's below freezing.

[Odysseus]

never stick you tongue on the metal hoops in the back of the duce and a half if it's below freezing.

:spit: You gotta stop!

[baja]

:spit: You gotta stop!

What time is it over there QT?

[baja]

Do not put your girls panties in your foot locker knowing there is an IG inspection next tuesday.

[baja]

If you do get the clap don't let your mates talk you into treating it with a mixture of Bag Balm and Cayenne powder

[baja]

never pee on an electrified fence.

[SportinOne]

Don't listen to whoever is saying that your life will be miserable. I'm sure they are only being sarcastic anyway. I dont' know how old you are, but if you are just out of high school its a great opportunity to get out there and experience things. Once you get done with all your training its basically just an every day job.. only you can't quit if you dont like it, and you can't call in sick. But besides that, an every day job ;D

I'm in the Navy myself, and i wouldn't change that for anything because i've managed to put myself in a good place. Alot of people, however, wish they had joined the airforce because it's the easiest, and you'll never have to sit on a ship for 6 months or go fight in a war, which is the biggest knock on either of the other services. Also your food is usually the best and your living conditions make a marine barracks look like a dog kennel...

Just remember that the service, as well as anything else you'll do in life, is what you make of it. Keep a positive attitude and you'll have a great time!

oh and don't believe what anyone tells you. especially if they are the same rank as you and they have some uncle who "knows". Nothing is ever for sure in the military until it happens. Almost everyone you talk to that outranks you is gonna have a million stories for you so just humor them, but filter for anything useful that may come out.

And make sure you have a hot chick waiting for you when you get out of bootcamp...it's a great experience after flying solo for 2 months.

[Pul2Eject]

Atta boy Ratboy! After bootcamp it'll be Ratma....naaah...still Ratboy cuz it's only AF Bootcamp. Kiddin. Damn proud of ya.

Lotsa good intended advise comin' yer way I see. Learn from all examples. Especially ol "Baja". Seems he's done it all.....................wrong.

My Bro in Pendleton, you know yer with the best so take care of the rest....Semper Fi

[Broncoman13]

Yesterday i took the oath of enlistment to enter the DEP. Now i wait for my ship date and AFSC (Job). Hopefully i don't have to wait too long, but long enough where i can get into shape. I picked 4 jobs, but i can always go back to my recuiter and change them. i plan on changing 1 or 2 once i read up on more jobs. However, i am hoping i get my first choice, 3c0x1 (Computer System Operations). Paralegal was another choice, but the liason said it's a rare job. So i'm going to do more research over the weekend and pick some more that can get me a good job on the outside.

I've read stories of people having to renlist into DEP since they didnt get a job for over a year. I hope i dont have to wait that long.

I signed up for 4 years, and I'll be going in as an E-1. I figured it was better than signing up for 6 years and going in as an E-1. Hopefully i end up loving it, Military is a wonderful oppurtunity and I'm glad i'm getting into the Air Force.


Congrats! Sounds like a very similar path to the one I took some 10-11 years ago. I had to get a waiver or two and take care of a few parking tickets (that turned into warrants! lol) so I too was in the Delayed Enlistment Program. I scored high on my ASVAP with exception of the general field. I think I had an overall of a 91 even though I scored like a 65 on the general portion. Anyhow, I went open mechanic. I was hoping for jet engines or crew chiefs, but ended up in Armament. At first I wasn't too thrilled, they don't have armament systems on civilian aircraft, and if you load a bomb on one they generally will shoot you and then throw your corpse in prison... but it worked out for the best.

I did 4 years of active duty. Contrary to what HEAV said the aircraft training is now performed in Wichita Falls, TX. Most people would tell you that place sucks. Being that I had just finished BMT and it was the first time living on my own... well I had a blast! Being that you're looking to go into the computer side of things, I would think your technical training would probably be in Mississippi.

The best advice I can give you is to remain open. Life doesn't always serve you the perfect pitch, but that doesn't mean you can't still hit it out of the park. Meaning, if you don't get the job that you want, don't half ass it. I didn't get the job that I wanted, but did as well as I possibly could and it's paid off for me. Whatever field they place you in, apply yourself fully and it will pay off in the long run... I promise!

Good luck Ratboy and keep us updated!

[Broncoman13]

If you do get the clap don't let your mates talk you into treating it with a mixture of Bag Balm and Cayenne powder

Now he freaking tells me!

[Broncoman13]

Congrats on enlisting. It's hard to believe I did it over 4 1/2 years ago. Man where does the time go? Only 497 days left though Ha! And only 3 more days until I make my way over to the sand box. Good luck at getting the job you actually want, rather than the job they give you. And don't worry about messing with any Air Force chicks, they all belong to the Marines, or was we like to call them...... Marine mattresses....... ;D


That's funny, b/c I remember all the marine's wives used to come over b/c you guys were always OUT OF TOWN!!! When the dog goes away the cat comes out an plays...

[Ray Finkle]

Congrats RB, Best of luck to you.

[Broncoman13]

I'll pony up some free advice here. BMT, volunteer for laundry duty. Sounds like a shiity deal, but it's the only duty that gives you about 2 hours + away from just about everyone. Chances are you'll run into some vending machines too... maybe even make a phone call from a payphone! Sounds like simple things, but you'll see.

As for not volunteering, generally a good rule to follow. But, I'll add that sometimes they save the S-H-I-T (Special High Intensity Training) duties for last. So if you don't volunteer for anything earlier, they'll just hand over LQ or something just as shiity. I never had to do anything other than align beds, clean rifles, and clean/pick up trash at the obstacle course. I had it made!!!

One last thing. There will come a time (probably right around day 2 or day 3) that you're lying in bed thinking that you could be back home drinking a cold beer and chasing a woman. You'll start to think about different ways to get out. I arrived in San Antonio on Dec. 27th. I was there, in my bunk on New Year's Eve thinking about what kind of injury I would fake. All my boys were back home having a good time and I was stuck in a hell hole and would probably have to wake up two or three times before finally getting up for good at 05! The next day my DI pointed out a bunch of guys in BDU's and sneakers. They were "limping around" and picking up trash as they limped! "Yeah, those guys will be stuck here for another 6 months picking up trash, they probably tried to get out with some fake ass injury or something." 6 MORE months... At that point I new I would make it through those lousy 7 weeks.

After my 4 years of active duty (Home Stationed at Tyndall AFB in Panama City, Fl... yeah, the Air Force sucks...:rolleyes:) I went into the Texas Air National Guard doing the exact same thing, but on a different airframe. 10 years of total service and I had a line # for Master when I got out. E-7 in 10 years is cruising and I'll probably join another reserve or guard unit someday, but now I'm strictly DoD and loving life. I'm in an enviable position now, and without patting myself on the back too much, it's b/c of hard work and a willingness to do well even if I didn't like the circumstances. Excellence, Integrity, Service Before Self. Remember those words and you can't go wrong!

[Haroldthebarrel]

Tisdale, yes that is Norwegian. I fought a guy named Tisdale once.

So the next four years of your life will probabally be miserable, so just dont for get why you're doing it. Remmemer your resons, and remmember these people treating you like **** are really just trying to accomplish their mission. Then you should be fine.

LOL what is with the free the norwegians signature?

[Hogan11]

I've got a nephew that just got out of the Air Force back in the summer and he told me that the romour that was going around at that time was that the military was going to have an open enrollment...meaning when you signed up to serve, you just signed up for military service and they'd place you in whatever branch that they saw fit based upon need (because, supposedly enrollment was much higher in the USAF and USN than in either the Army or Marines)...glad to hear it was just a rumour.

All the best to you Ratty and thanks in advance for your service.

[DivineLegion]

You should have been a marine..

Ps: whos the chick with the big/huge nose in your avatar?

Semper Fi

[watermock]

Thanks for serving but you couldn't Oskie us to the SB....I'm making you and that traitor Bronco Billy the Millon Head responsible...

I can understand Pubes being a little distracted, altho he said he wasn't...I just can't figure out how we could come out so flat in a Hunt Trophy game...

[Broncoman13]

Thanks for serving but you couldn't Oskie us to the SB....I'm making you and that traitor Bronco Billy the Millon Head responsible...

I can understand Pubes being a little distracted, altho he said he wasn't...I just can't figure out how we could come out so flat in a Hunt Trophy game...


The dedication was there, the opportunities presented themselves, our boys just couldn't sieze the moment. Not sure it would have made a difference b/c three of those TO's were on one scoring drive... but man!

[Dukes]

That's funny, b/c I remember all the marine's wives used to come over b/c you guys were always OUT OF TOWN!!! When the dog goes away the cat comes out an plays...

Thats funny because its true. We call them West Pac widows out here. Because the 1st and 3rd Divisions do western pacific floats...... So yes its true, but very sad at the same time

[Goobzilla]

Good luck kid.....

It's what you make of it I guess, just go in with your eyes open and form your own opinions. I obviously liked it for a while (I reenlisted twice) but just didn't want to do it anymore. I'm much happier on the outside but some of my boys are still in and enjoying it.

Let us know how it's going.

[watermock]

This damn war. How come American taxpayers have to alway fix everything?

Where were the Saudis when we fought Saddam? Where were the Kuwaitis with some cheap oil after we saved their ass....Where were the muslim nations with relief after the Tsunami for their muslim neighbors...we are so busy putting bandaids on the rest of the world New Orleans gets neglected...

I just think that while we are putting god only knows into some shieks billion dollar boat and gambling/whore/drinking spree, you would think they could of helped out his own brothers since they act like they are, but act like throat slashing backstabbers. When a journalist's head is sawed off, it gets little attention...when a terrorist is humiliated while incarcerated, it's some sort of crime against humanity...

They saw off civilian heads, we show people in underwear and 20 times more attention is put on the underwear.

So we showed Saddam in his underwear...I would of allready capped his ass.

[Flyboy063]

Congrats Ratboy. I thought if you enlisted for 6 you get E-3 after tech school. That's how it was when I joined. I enlisted for 6 and just re-upped for 4 more last August. I'm a 3C0X1 so if you have questions I can help out.

For what it's worth here is my advice.
-Enlist for 6 yrs if you get E-3 out of tech school. 6 yrs will fly by and give you more time to get college done. Also you will be paid more $$ quicker. I was able to make E-5 in 3 1/2 yrs (sewed on).
-Take Oskies advice about laundry duty. You won't regret it.
-Look into 2E2X1 they do networking backbone (cisco routers and all the good stuff) and have a bigger re-enlistment bonus. The cisco training can make you quite a bit of money on the outside.
-Keep an open mind. Don't come in thinking your getting out in four years and burn bridges instead come in with the thought of making it a career (you'll be more successful with that mindset). The mindset will also make it easier to make the big decisions if the future throws you a curve ball.
-When it comes time to create your dream sheet (assignment options), put overseas locations and see the world. I did 4 yrs in Ramstein, Germany and met my beautiful wife and had an excellent time. I visited many beautiful and wonderful places. Plus the military is more of a family and tighter knit overseas.

I'll end it here, but if you got questions PM me. Sorry for the novel folks. Congrats again Ratboy and welcome into the greatest Air Force in the world.

Oskie gave excellent advice with the laundry bit, take it. Stay away from being chow runner though.

[Rohirrim]

The AF, eh? Don't know anything about it except one thing. I was a grunt in Korea and went down to Kimpo Air Base outside of Seoul for something (I don't remember what). Anyway, they gave us meal tickets for lunch and told us where the mess was. We go in there in our funky fatigues and here's a bunch of guys in starched, blue uniforms lined up at a buffet that's about fifty yards long! There are guys in chef's outfits slicing prime rib and and roast beef asking me, "Rare, medium, or well done?" I been eating out of goddamn cans for months! Geez, what a life! I didn't care though. I figured if the shiite starts flying I don't want to be in a plane, on a ship's deck or in some vehicle. I wanted to be on my own two feet. Worked for me.

[Broncoman13]

Thats funny because its true. We call them West Pac widows out here. Because the 1st and 3rd Divisions do western pacific floats...... So yes its true, but very sad at the same time


I agree it's sad, never really took part in that. I'd shoot somebody over something like that and couldn't blame someone for shooting me if I did the same thing...

[Odysseus]

What time is it over there QT?

It's 7:50. I am +3 Z time.

Yesterday the sky was nasty. They don't have tornados here but whatever you want to call it the sky was frigging pissed off and wanting to hurt somebody. Wrath of god raindrops the size of golf balls. Lightning ripping the sky. The mud over here has the texture of dung and smells like camel ass all the time. There is no sand over here. It's all a vicious lie. It is dust and it gets into everthing. It's about 45 degrees right now but during the summer it stays pegged at around 130 - 150.

The one thing you learn about being in different climates is being fluid rather than flexible. I have a heart rate monitor so the heat doesn't croak me. It's kick butt watch as well but you learn to get cool toys for practicaly reasons.

A PDA is a stupid thing to have. Nobody is impressed that you have it and what's more if you don't get a metal case you are likely to break it but when you are waiting....get used to waiting...It's kind of nice to read a book without (E-Reader.com) having to carry one. I can also slip on the Internet, write quick notes, night light, MP3 player, phonebook, gameboy, and it's a portable alarm clock. This can be handy to have if you are sleeping in a remote location. You have to adapt to wherever you are. A PDA is probably a stupid thing in boot camp. Food for thought.

[spdirty]

I went in in 98 got out in 02, heres my advice for you.

Please please please make sure that you get a guarunteed job before you leave for Basic. The best jobs are personnel, whether it be Finance or medical, those guys have it MADE! (8-4, hour long lunches, weekends and holidays off, they are just civilians who wear BDUs) I went in open General and they made me an SP, worst job in the AF. When they give you a list of where you want to be staioned, try to go overseas. There is nothing like it compared to stateside (boring).

My advice for Basic is don't volunteer for anything, if the TI asks "who likes bowling" DO NOT raise your hand or volunteer! It means he is asking for volunteers for the Latrine Queen. The first week or so will be the most stressful of your life, but remember, if you got the 331st squadron you got it made...it is the easiest there, however if you have 323 watch out cuz that is the toughest. Oh yeah...you probably won't poop the first week of basic because you will be so stressed. Dont worry, its normal. But after about 2 weeks when you get into the routine its a piece of cake. And it goes by so fast you can't believe you are already in week 6 once you get there.

Anyway, good luck, and God Bless.

[Odysseus]

Congrats Ratboy. I thought if you enlisted for 6 you get E-3 after tech school. That's how it was when I joined. I enlisted for 6 and just re-upped for 4 more last August. I'm a 3C0X1 so if you have questions I can help out.

For what it's worth here is my advice.
-Enlist for 6 yrs if you get E-3 out of tech school. 6 yrs will fly by and give you more time to get college done. Also you will be paid more $$ quicker. I was able to make E-5 in 3 1/2 yrs (sewed on).
-Take Oskies advice about laundry duty. You won't regret it.
-Look into 2E2X1 they do networking backbone (cisco routers and all the good stuff) and have a bigger re-enlistment bonus. The cisco training can make you quite a bit of money on the outside.
-Keep an open mind. Don't come in thinking your getting out in four years and burn bridges instead come in with the thought of making it a career (you'll be more successful with that mindset). The mindset will also make it easier to make the big decisions if the future throws you a curve ball.-When it comes time to create your dream sheet (assignment options), put overseas locations and see the world. I did 4 yrs in Ramstein, Germany and met my beautiful wife and had an excellent time. I visited many beautiful and wonderful places. Plus the military is more of a family and tighter knit overseas.
I'll end it here, but if you got questions PM me. Sorry for the novel folks. Congrats again Ratboy and welcome into the greatest Air Force in the world.

Oskie gave excellent advice with the laundry bit, take it. Stay away from being chow runner though.

If you get out with the CISCO and a CISSP you are golden. Don't worry about "getting out". Stay focused on being good right wherever you are. You'll know when it's time to get out and then start planning but get good fast. Don't worry about it. You've got better support right here on the Mane than most guys get believe it.

[Sodak]

Hopefully, you'll never hear the words "Welcome to Minot".

[Broncoman13]

Not sure about PDA's in camp... Seems to me they wouldn't let you have one at any rate. It's not like a can of Skoal that you can break up into baggies and hide in the bed posts. I wouldn't chance it, they'd probably try to make you feel foolish for having one and then take it and use it themselves for the 7 weeks you're there... just to piss you off!

As for the Chow Runner duty... I wouldn't have liked it. Our chow runner was a prick. Like I said earlier, I was at Basic during the winter. Some mornings were colder than others and always was nice to be in the element that was called first to get inside. That's why our chow runner was a prick! The little ****** would have people shine his shoes or square his shirts... he in turn would call their element in first. After I figured it out I offered to shine his boots and threw them out of the back door. Almost ended up in a fight over it but somebody jumped in and told him he got what was coming to him. Sorry bastard always picked my element last after that... but he had a helluva time explaining to our TI why he needed to go outside without his boots on!!!

To piggy back on the volunteering thing. This might get a little lengthy, but there's a good point in it somewhere. When I was an A1C (E-3) a bunch of us were sitting in the shop not doing anything. One of the Pointy Heads came in and asked if somebody could help changing out a Color Drive Cable in an F-15. Of the 4 or 5 of us airman that were sitting around, no one had any experience. I jumped up and said I'd do it... at the time thinking I was showing extra initiative and that I'd be rewarded/compensated for it one way or another. Three hour job it turned out to be and it was a BIATCH! Tons of clamps in places you couldn't see with a light and a mirror! We're talking wrist lock and finger cramps for a week after this job! But I did it and was the only airman that knew how to do it. As with anything, the more you do it the faster you become. I did so many of those damn things I got it down inside of an hour! But for about a year straight it sucked b/c if they had one at 1530 (COB @1600) I would get the job and end up staying late, Meanwhile my friends/roomates/co-airmen were going home and getting a jump start on the parties down on Panama City Beach. So a year of this goes bye, I'm pissed for volunteering and even more pissed b/c I'm getting stuck with all of them. Then my old flight chief (moved on to Quality Chief) announces an opening. I interview for the job and don't feel like I've done especially well in the interview. In fact, there were three interviewers and I later was given my scores. Of a possible 50 I scored 38. Not good, but it ultimately came down Tim (old flight chief) having the final decision. He brought me up and told me that the reason he brought me in was b/c he enjoyed watching my frustrations over the past year with the CDC's. He said you never complained, you never pointed out that nobody else did them, and you volunteered for it. I told him that I was pissed, had several times thought about complaining, and wished to hell that I'd not volunteered for that shiit! He said, you wouldn't be sitting here today if you'd done anything differently. So I end up with a sweet gig for the last year of my enlistment. I'd mainly train and evaluate my old co-workers/airmen. And the best part, if I didn't like the way they were doing a process/task I'd just reject it and tell them to call me back when they were done correcting the discrepancy. Meanwhile I was sitting in a nice warm office or air conditioned depending on what time of year and doing 1/10th of the work.

There's certainly pro's and con's for volunteering, but looking back that Color Drive Cable set the ground work for where I am today. And today I will volunteer for something that will set the ground work for where I'll be 10 years from now... so long as I apply myself and keep my mouth shut... which for me is easier said than done. The mouth shut part anyhow!

Sorry for writing a book here, but if you can benefit from it in some small way it was worth it. GOOD LUCK!

[ant1999e]

Congrats Ratboy. I've been in for 11 yrs. Lots of good advice has been given. Stick with basic training. It isn't that bad. Keep an open mind about making it a career. 20 years and you retire. Not bad. Depending on your job you may get deployed alot. Especially if you work on planes. The Air Force isn't like it use to be. We get deployed with the Army in Iraq nowfor convoy duty. They send you to Colorado to an army base for their training. Just depends on your AFSC. For the most part the Air Force isn't bad. It has it's B.S. but so does a civilian job. Good luck and keep us posted on which AFSC you get.

[Broncoman13]

I went in in 98 got out in 02, heres my advice for you.

Please please please make sure that you get a guarunteed job before you leave for Basic. The best jobs are personnel, whether it be Finance or medical, those guys have it MADE! (8-4, hour long lunches, weekends and holidays off, they are just civilians who wear BDUs) I went in open General and they made me an SP, worst job in the AF. When they give you a list of where you want to be staioned, try to go overseas. There is nothing like it compared to stateside (boring).

My advice for Basic is don't volunteer for anything, if the TI asks "who likes bowling" DO NOT raise your hand or volunteer! It means he is asking for volunteers for the Latrine Queen. The first week or so will be the most stressful of your life, but remember, if you got the 331st squadron you got it made...it is the easiest there, however if you have 323 watch out cuz that is the toughest. Oh yeah...you probably won't poop the first week of basic because you will be so stressed. Dont worry, its normal. But after about 2 weeks when you get into the routine its a piece of cake. And it goes by so fast you can't believe you are already in week 6 once you get there.

Anyway, good luck, and God Bless.


I was at the 331st. Disney Land I think is what they used to call it. Getting out of Basic was, IMO, more of an accomplishment than winning any state tourny, or finishing High School, or anything else I had accomplished previous to my graduation. When you like something it's easy. When you don't like it and still come through, that's when you're tested. I was tested that first week and while I don't remember it going by fast as much as I remember wanting to fall asleep ANYWHERE/EVERYWHERE, it was a good time.

As for the open fields... it's iffy. You may want to talk to your recruiter and lay down a few no-go's. SP being #1 on that list. 12 hour days, and those 12 don't include the 30-45 minutes it takes to get your weapon from the armory or the 30-45 it takes to return it.

I never did a tour overseas. I've heard the same thing though. People tend to form a tighter bond and many don't want to return to the states. I'm in a situation now that I may go over for a tour or two... if my wife ever decides to go along. Pay is better and who doesn't want to tour the world?

I think Ratboy mentioned that he was trying to go in as a clerky or something like that. I don't remember those guys/gals going on too many TDY's. That will limit your ability to see the world in the Air Force. Working on the flight line I went everywhere our aircraft went. Israel, Singapore, Saudi, Iraq, LAS VEGAS (a bunch of times... Red Flag) Cold Lake, and then several other places state side. But in those travels it gave me the opportunity to visit Germany, Spain, Hawaii, Guam, Egypt, and Malaysia.

[Ratboy]

I can't get a few jobs due to my hearing. I have H-2 hearing in my left year. The jobs i was DQ'ed from were the ones i didnt want anyways (EOD, SF, and a few others)

As for enlisting for 6 years, my uncle said i should go for it. However, 6 years is a LONG time. I will look into it more, i was told i can always change to a 6 year if i wanted to.

I also would love to go overseas, I live close to Patrick Air Force Base and i just hope i don't get stationed here. I want to get out and see places, not live in the same county.

I also plan on doing the GI Bill, I'm not sure why anyone wouldn't.

[Odysseus]

Overseas rocks.
Don't volunteer unless it might lead to helping your career.
Don't complain.
Get everything in writing. If it's not in writing they might be lying.
Don't pee on electric fence.


True Story:
I was sleeping in my truck waiting for our sleep gear to arrive. Army guys aren't Marines so we had real tents comings. Marines sleep on sharp rocks with nails throught them. A couple of homeless weeks later the tents come. We set them up. We are thinking we are all set. Lap of luxury given where we started. Woo Hoo! Look! Bug screens and everything.

Air Force guys show up.
"Um. Guys we are going to need some improvements before we let our guys stay out here. Call us at the hotel when you get the carpeting, air conditioning, heat, and if you could upgrade your generators to do all this we'll be right back out here. Maybe some trailers...call us."

Poof. They were gone.

Moral of the story: Even a bad Air Force gig is still Air Force.

[Broncoman13]

Hopefully, you'll never hear the words "Welcome to Minot".


I was born in Minot, ND. Only had to live there for a few months and luckily I've never had to worry about going back!

[ludo21]

Wow, Congrats Ratboy, sounds like its gonna work out well.

Listen well, dont talk outta turn, you will do fine

[Broncoman13]

Overseas rocks.
Don't volunteer unless it might lead to helping your career.
Don't complain.
Get everything in writing. If it's not in writing they might be lying.
Don't pee on electric fence.


True Story:
I was sleeping in my truck waiting for our sleep gear to arrive. Army guys aren't Marines so we had real tents comings. Marines sleep on sharp rocks with nails throught them. A couple of homeless weeks later the tents come. We set them up. We are thinking we are all set. Lap of luxury given where we started. Woo Hoo! Look! Bug screens and everything.

Air Force guys show up.
"Um. Guys we are going to need some improvements before we let our guys stay out here. Call us at the hotel when you get the carpeting, air conditioning, heat, and if you could upgrade your generators to do all this we'll be right back out here. Maybe some trailers...call us."

Poof. They were gone.

Moral of the story: Even a bad Air Force gig is still Air Force.


I've heard all the stories too... and for the most part we did have better living quarters, conditions, meals, etc. But this is how AF folks live in Iraq. Not much of a difference!

[Broncoman13]

I can't get a few jobs due to my hearing. I have H-2 hearing in my left year. The jobs i was DQ'ed from were the ones i didnt want anyways (EOD, SF, and a few others)

As for enlisting for 6 years, my uncle said i should go for it. However, 6 years is a LONG time. I will look into it more, i was told i can always change to a 6 year if i wanted to.

I also would love to go overseas, I live close to Patrick Air Force Base and i just hope i don't get stationed here. I want to get out and see places, not live in the same county.

I also plan on doing the GI Bill, I'm not sure why anyone wouldn't.


Oh, and just in case you've never heard the saying... You learn more with your mouth shut and your ears open. Use it!

[Ratboy]

I'm curious how long it takes to become an E-3 (starting at E-1), Any of you guys know?

[Swedish Extrovert]

LOL what is with the free the norwegians signature?

Kind of an inside joke with a few guys in my unit.

[Dukes]

Overseas rocks.
Don't volunteer unless it might lead to helping your career.
Don't complain.
Get everything in writing. If it's not in writing they might be lying.
Don't pee on electric fence.


True Story:
I was sleeping in my truck waiting for our sleep gear to arrive. Army guys aren't Marines so we had real tents comings. Marines sleep on sharp rocks with nails throught them. A couple of homeless weeks later the tents come. We set them up. We are thinking we are all set. Lap of luxury given where we started. Woo Hoo! Look! Bug screens and everything.

Air Force guys show up.
"Um. Guys we are going to need some improvements before we let our guys stay out here. Call us at the hotel when you get the carpeting, air conditioning, heat, and if you could upgrade your generators to do all this we'll be right back out here. Maybe some trailers...call us."

Poof. They were gone.

Moral of the story: Even a bad Air Force gig is still Air Force.

During the first OIF I was in the mess hall waiting in line, and this air force guy standing next to me says " Aww man come on, the tv isn't coming in clear" Oh well i'm sorry that you can't have HDTV in a WARZONE within the first 5 months of OIF

[Swedish Extrovert]

I'm curious how long it takes to become an E-3 (starting at E-1), Any of you guys know?

Lol. I thought I told you NOT to join as an E-1. YOU MUST complete the DEP Program before you enter boot camp. That way you wont get eaten alive when you get out there.

It will take 9 months to make E-2, another 9 to make E-3.... then you have to wait untill the next cycle, which can be anywhere from 6-10 months, and you can take the test for E-4, which you must score within a certain percentile to make. IF you pass it, but don't advance, you gain points for your next test, which can be taken six months later.

[Swedish Extrovert]

Oh, and definitley listen to Quiettiger

[Broncoman13]

I can't get a few jobs due to my hearing. I have H-2 hearing in my left year. The jobs i was DQ'ed from were the ones i didnt want anyways (EOD, SF, and a few others)

As for enlisting for 6 years, my uncle said i should go for it. However, 6 years is a LONG time. I will look into it more, i was told i can always change to a 6 year if i wanted to.

I also would love to go overseas, I live close to Patrick Air Force Base and i just hope i don't get stationed here. I want to get out and see places, not live in the same county.

I also plan on doing the GI Bill, I'm not sure why anyone wouldn't.


I 'bought' into the GI Bill myself. $100 a month when I was only making $260 a pay check to begin with! I've not used it yet and honestly I probably never will. Had I looked into it before joining I would have realized that Texas has the Hazelwood act that pays for my education as a vet. My current job also has 100% reimbursement. So now, with the GI Bill I can double dip, but I could've done that with Hazelwood and saved that Hondo a month!

Now, on to the 6 year thing. If they'll give you the two stripes then do it! In the long run it probably will all even out. I had an SRB of a 2.0 when I got out. They would have paid me about 10k over 4 years to re-up. If you go in as an A1C you don't get that money for an extra two years... if you do re-enlist. But, you get paid an extra couple hundred a month for about 4 of those years. So it pretty much comes out even. Still, it used to piss me off like there was no tomorrow when guys fresh out of Tech School would come in and out rank me from day one. I guess it really wasn't that big of a deal b/c all airmen are pretty much looked at the same... until you reach Sr. Airman and even now days with the low cutoffs SSgt's are glorified Sr. Airmen. I'd still do it though. Get that extra money up front and you'll also get Senior Airman faster which will allow you to test for Staff faster. I thought they were still giving kids enlistment bonuses? In fact, I remember a couple years ago that our guys were getting like 10k up front.

[Broncoman13]

I'm curious how long it takes to become an E-3 (starting at E-1), Any of you guys know?


E-1 to E-2 is 6 months. E-2 to E-3 is a total of 18 months. I remember feeling like big shiit when I finally got that second stripe (E-3). Thinking back, it was a better feeling than Staff, Tech, or Master!

[Broncoman13]

Lol. I thought I told you NOT to join as an E-1. YOU MUST complete the DEP Program before you enter boot camp. That way you wont get eaten alive when you get out there.

It will take 9 months to make E-2, another 9 to make E-3.... then you have to wait untill the next cycle, which can be anywhere from 6-10 months, and you can take the test for E-4, which you must score within a certain percentile to make. IF you pass it, but don't advance, you gain points for your next test, which can be taken six months later.


You're full of shiit!

First off, it doesn't take 9 months to sew on your first stripe. 2nd, you don't test for Senior Airman. The first time you WAPS test is for SSGT or E-5. There is a cutoff for each AFSC. If you reach that cutoff score (which includes points for medals, EPR's, TIG, TIS, as well as your test scores) you are given a line #. You can then look up that line # to determine whether you'll sew on on March 1st, April 1st, May 1st, etc, etc. In the early 90's there was a hold over. Meaning, if the cutoff was say 290 and you scored a 288, you would automatically/arbitrairily be given a line # if the cutoff was at or below the 288 during the next testing cycle for that year. But, they have since gone to only one cycle per year so that's out the window. Perhaps you Pier Queers do it differently...

[Sassy]

I was born in Minot, ND. Only had to live there for a few months and luckily I've never had to worry about going back!
Ha! I know Minot well.

[Odysseus]

I've heard all the stories too... and for the most part we did have better living quarters, conditions, meals, etc. But this is how AF folks live in Iraq. Not much of a difference!

True. If the Air Force is assigned to an Army base in Iraq they get what the Army gets.

Air Force tends to have it softer even if they are at the Army base. It's hilarious to see some of the things that Air Force has or does which doesn't happen in the Army world even in the same circumstances. It's genetic or something. I bet you put an Air Force guy and a Marine in the same fox hole and you could tell them apart even with the same uniform.

[baja]

Not sure about PDA's in camp... Seems to me they wouldn't let you have one at any rate. It's not like a can of Skoal that you can break up into baggies and hide in the bed posts. I wouldn't chance it, they'd probably try to make you feel foolish for having one and then take it and use it themselves for the 7 weeks you're there... just to piss you off!

As for the Chow Runner duty... I wouldn't have liked it. Our chow runner was a prick. Like I said earlier, I was at Basic during the winter. Some mornings were colder than others and always was nice to be in the element that was called first to get inside. That's why our chow runner was a prick! The little ****** would have people shine his shoes or square his shirts... he in turn would call their element in first. After I figured it out I offered to shine his boots and threw them out of the back door. Almost ended up in a fight over it but somebody jumped in and told him he got what was coming to him. Sorry bastard always picked my element last after that... but he had a helluva time explaining to our TI why he needed to go outside without his boots on!!!

To piggy back on the volunteering thing. This might get a little lengthy, but there's a good point in it somewhere. When I was an A1C (E-3) a bunch of us were sitting in the shop not doing anything. One of the Pointy Heads came in and asked if somebody could help changing out a Color Drive Cable in an F-15. Of the 4 or 5 of us airman that were sitting around, no one had any experience. I jumped up and said I'd do it... at the time thinking I was showing extra initiative and that I'd be rewarded/compensated for it one way or another. Three hour job it turned out to be and it was a BIATCH! Tons of clamps in places you couldn't see with a light and a mirror! We're talking wrist lock and finger cramps for a week after this job! But I did it and was the only airman that knew how to do it. As with anything, the more you do it the faster you become. I did so many of those damn things I got it down inside of an hour! But for about a year straight it sucked b/c if they had one at 1530 (COB @1600) I would get the job and end up staying late, Meanwhile my friends/roomates/co-airmen were going home and getting a jump start on the parties down on Panama City Beach. So a year of this goes bye, I'm pissed for volunteering and even more pissed b/c I'm getting stuck with all of them. Then my old flight chief (moved on to Quality Chief) announces an opening. I interview for the job and don't feel like I've done especially well in the interview. In fact, there were three interviewers and I later was given my scores. Of a possible 50 I scored 38. Not good, but it ultimately came down Tim (old flight chief) having the final decision. He brought me up and told me that the reason he brought me in was b/c he enjoyed watching my frustrations over the past year with the CDC's. He said you never complained, you never pointed out that nobody else did them, and you volunteered for it. I told him that I was pissed, had several times thought about complaining, and wished to hell that I'd not volunteered for that shiit! He said, you wouldn't be sitting here today if you'd done anything differently. So I end up with a sweet gig for the last year of my enlistment. I'd mainly train and evaluate my old co-workers/airmen. And the best part, if I didn't like the way they were doing a process/task I'd just reject it and tell them to call me back when they were done correcting the discrepancy. Meanwhile I was sitting in a nice warm office or air conditioned depending on what time of year and doing 1/10th of the work.

There's certainly pro's and con's for volunteering, but looking back that Color Drive Cable set the ground work for where I am today. And today I will volunteer for something that will set the ground work for where I'll be 10 years from now... so long as I apply myself and keep my mouth shut... which for me is easier said than done. The mouth shut part anyhow!

Sorry for writing a book here, but if you can benefit from it in some small way it was worth it. GOOD LUCK!

Not to bust n the Alger Hiss climate here but I remember guys that volunteered for what turned out to be an early grave so it goes both ways.

[ant1999e]

Lol. I thought I told you NOT to join as an E-1. YOU MUST complete the DEP Program before you enter boot camp. That way you wont get eaten alive when you get out there.

It will take 9 months to make E-2, another 9 to make E-3.... then you have to wait untill the next cycle, which can be anywhere from 6-10 months, and you can take the test for E-4, which you must score within a certain percentile to make. IF you pass it, but don't advance, you gain points for your next test, which can be taken six months later.

Your wrong about E-4 you don't test for it. You test for E-5. Your points don't carry over and you only test once a year.

[Dukes]

True. I bet you put an Air Force guy and a Marine in the same fox hole and you could tell them apart even with the same uniform.

Easily, the Airman would have his M-16A2 laying in the dirt, and the Marine would be cleaning his

[Swedish Extrovert]

Your wrong about E-4 you don't test for it. You test for E-5. Your points don't carry over and you only test once a year.

It must be different in the Air Force

[Broncoman13]

Not to bust n the Alger Hiss climate here but I remember guys that volunteered for what turned out to be an early grave so it goes both ways.


In the Air Force though?

[Broncoman13]

Easily, the Airman would have his M-16A2 laying in the dirt, and the Marine would be cleaning his


Both of you are somewhat right, yet still wrong. First of all, an Air Force guy is smart enough to stay out of a fox whole. Second of all, if an Air Force guy was in a fox hole with a Marine, I'd like to think (being an Air Force guy) that he could easily talk the Marine into cleaning both guns! You see, Marines are creatures of habit and they have giant egos! It would be very easy for me to say, man I'm just not good at cleaning guns, you're the best. The jarhead would then pound his chest a couple times, clean both his and my gun, and then have a story to tell about the "dumb" Air Force guy that couldn't clean his own gun... meanwhile, the Air Force guy is laughing b/c jarhead did his work for him! I know it's hard for some of you to understand, but it's called working smarter not harder!

[Dukes]

Both of you are somewhat right, yet still wrong. First of all, an Air Force guy is smart enough to stay out of a fox whole. Second of all, if an Air Force guy was in a fox hole with a Marine, I'd like to think (being an Air Force guy) that he could easily talk the Marine into cleaning both guns! You see, Marines are creatures of habit and they have giant egos! It would be very easy for me to say, man I'm just not good at cleaning guns, you're the best. The jarhead would then pound his chest a couple times, clean both his and my gun, and then have a story to tell about the "dumb" Air Force guy that couldn't clean his own gun... meanwhile, the Air Force guy is laughing b/c jarhead did his work for him! I know it's hard for some of you to understand, but it's called working smarter not harder!

Hilarious! I know some guys that would fit that discription

[ant1999e]

"Work smarter not harder" One of the Air Forces' core values.

[ant1999e]

Nevermind.

[spdirty]

Both of you are somewhat right, yet still wrong. First of all, an Air Force guy is smart enough to stay out of a fox whole. Second of all, if an Air Force guy was in a fox hole with a Marine, I'd like to think (being an Air Force guy) that he could easily talk the Marine into cleaning both guns! You see, Marines are creatures of habit and they have giant egos! It would be very easy for me to say, man I'm just not good at cleaning guns, you're the best. The jarhead would then pound his chest a couple times, clean both his and my gun, and then have a story to tell about the "dumb" Air Force guy that couldn't clean his own gun... meanwhile, the Air Force guy is laughing b/c jarhead did his work for him! I know it's hard for some of you to understand, but it's called working smarter not harder!


Hilarious! Your absolutely right! Working smarter not harder is something they'll pound into your head as soon as you get there!

[baja]

In the Air Force though?

Don't know I was in the Army but I guessing there was volunteer bombing missions and such.

[baja]

Both of you are somewhat right, yet still wrong. First of all, an Air Force guy is smart enough to stay out of a fox whole. Second of all, if an Air Force guy was in a fox hole with a Marine, I'd like to think (being an Air Force guy) that he could easily talk the Marine into cleaning both guns! You see, Marines are creatures of habit and they have giant egos! It would be very easy for me to say, man I'm just not good at cleaning guns, you're the best. The jarhead would then pound his chest a couple times, clean both his and my gun, and then have a story to tell about the "dumb" Air Force guy that couldn't clean his own gun... meanwhile, the Air Force guy is laughing b/c jarhead did his work for him! I know it's hard for some of you to understand, but it's called working smarter not harder!

Course there is risk in that tactic i know some jarheads that would toss your unworthy ass out of the fox hole for even considering to let someone other than yourself clean your weapon.

[L.A. BRONCOS FAN]

Holy cow - you're doing the exact same thing I did 30+ years ago.

Congrats, and good luck. :USA:

[FADERPROOF]

Thanks and Goodluck!

I will remember not to mess with the AF girls, Honestly, with the AF guy to girl ratio being something like 4-1, I doubt i will want to mess with them ;D

No worries, just pick up civilians when you have time off, and be sure to wear your uniform.

Although I'm not in the military, I have seen it work time and time again with my friends, chicks dig the uniform. I have one friend tht was in the Navy, and I'm not big on talking about how other men look but he is ugly as all ****(glasses, still has a ton of acne, does a half assed job shaving etc.) and even he was able to pick up chicks, all because he had on his uniform.

[Bronx33]

You should enjoy wog day ratboy.........;D

[Odysseus]

Both of you are somewhat right, yet still wrong. First of all, an Air Force guy is smart enough to stay out of a fox whole. Second of all, if an Air Force guy was in a fox hole with a Marine, I'd like to think (being an Air Force guy) that he could easily talk the Marine into cleaning both guns! You see, Marines are creatures of habit and they have giant egos! It would be very easy for me to say, man I'm just not good at cleaning guns, you're the best. The jarhead would then pound his chest a couple times, clean both his and my gun, and then have a story to tell about the "dumb" Air Force guy that couldn't clean his own gun... meanwhile, the Air Force guy is laughing b/c jarhead did his work for him! I know it's hard for some of you to understand, but it's called working smarter not harder!

An Airforce guy in a fox hole? What happened? Did the plane fall down?

Getting a Marine to do his work? Marines are cargo. An Air Force guy would probably just manifest him and then go back the counter and play Diablo on a folder the other smart guys hid on the net.

If you're in a Foxhole with a Marine something bad has happened or something really bad is going to happen.

The Air force guy in the foxhole is the guy going "What do we do? What do we do?" The Marine is the guy who wants to advance on their position with a pocket knife and a box of tic tacs.

[Bronx33]

Military Rules Of Combat:

A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

A Purple Heart just proves that you were smart enough to think
of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

Anything you do can get you shot. Including doing nothing.

Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, nukes and proximity-fused missiles.

Don't draw fire it irritates the people around you.

Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.

Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.

Five second fuses only last three seconds.

Helicopter Pilots should remember, If hit, landing near the people that just shot you down is not a good idea.

If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.

If the C.O. gives an order, and there is a grimiest look on your D.I. start worrying if there will be a tomorrow.

If the enemy is in range, so are you.

If you aren't sure, the SAM’s are pointed at you.

If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.

If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

Never forget that your M-16 was made by the lowest bidder.

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.

No combat-ready unit ever passed inspection.

No inspection-ready unit ever passed combat.

Pilots should be advised, it is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.

Professionals are predictable it's the amateurs that are dangerous.

Remember: Your aircraft and it’s parts were made by the lowest bidders.

Smart bombs have bad days too.

Teamwork is essential. It gives them more targets to shoot at.

The best defense is to stay out of range.

The easy way is always mined.

The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.

The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions: When you're ready for them and when you're not ready for them.

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.

There is always a way.

Try to look unimportant they may be low on ammo.

When in doubt empty the magazine.

When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.

You are not Tom Cruise.

[Bronx33]

I found this stuff along time ago and almost peed my pants reading this, enjoy.

http://www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html

Explanations of these events:

a) I did myself, and either got in trouble or commended. (I had a Major shake my hand for the piss bottle thing, for instance.)
b) I witnessed another soldier do it. (Like the Sergeant we had, that basically went insane, and crucified some dead mice.)
c) Was spontaneously informed I was not allowed to do. (Like start a porn studio.)
d) Was the result of a clarification of the above. (“What about especially patriotic porn?”)
e) I was just minding my own business, when something happened. (“Schwarz...what is *that*?” said the Sgt, as he pointed to the back of my car? "Um....a rubber sheep...I can explain why that's there....")

To explain how I've stayed out of jail/alive/not beaten up too badly..... I'm funny, so they let me live.
The 213 Things....

1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when I'm supposed to be working.

2. My proper military title is "Specialist Schwarz" not "Princess Anastasia".

3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.

4. Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.

5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.

6. Not allowed to play “Pulp Fiction” with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.

7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.

8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don't like to War Criminal posters.

9. Not allowed to title any product “Get Over it”.

10. Not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on government time.

11. Not allowed to join the Communist Party.

12. Not allowed to join any militia.

13. Not allowed to form any militia.

14. Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo.

15. Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to “Sic Brass!”

16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my “Samson like powers”.

17. God may not contradict any of my orders.

18. May no longer perform my now (in)famous “Barbie Girl Dance” while on duty.

19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I'm right.

20. Must not taunt the French any more.

21. Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.

22. Must never call an SAS a “Wanker”.

23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they've been smoking crack.

24. Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it's true.

25. Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one.

26. Never tell a German soldier that “We kicked your ass in World War 2!”

27. Don't tell Princess Di jokes in front of the paras (British Airborne).

28. Don't take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).

29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.

30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.

31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.

32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.

33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

35. Not allowed to sing “High Speed Dirt” by Megadeth during airborne operations. (“See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I'm off to meet my maker”)

36. Can't have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn't over).

37. Our medic is called “Sgt Larwasa”, not “Dr. Feelgood”.

38. Our supply Sgt is “Sgt Watkins” not “Sugar Daddy”.

39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.

40. I do not have super-powers.

41. “Keep on Trucking” is *not* a psychological warfare message.

42. Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankind's baser instincts in recruitment posters.

43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.

44. I am not the atheist chaplain.

45. I am not allowed to “Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddy's little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies”.

46. I am not authorized to fire officers.

47. I am not a citizen of Texas, and those other, forty-nine, lesser states.

48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.

49. Not allowed to trade military equipment for “magic beans”.

50. Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.

51. Not allowed to quote “Dr Seuss” on military operations.

52. Not allowed to yell “Take that Cobra” at the rifle range.

53. Not allowed to quote “Full Metal Jacket “ at the rifle range.

54. “Napalm sticks to kids” is *not* a motivational phrase.

55. An order to “Put Kiwi on my boots” does *not* involve fruit.

56. An order to “Make my Boots black and shiny” does not involve electrical tape.

57. The proper response to a lawful order is not “Why?”

58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we've all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.

59. May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command.

60. “The Giant Space Ants” are not at the top of my chain of command.

61. If one soldier has a 2nd Lt bar on his uniform, and I have an E-4 on mine It means he outranks me. It does not mean “I have been promoted three more times than you”.

62. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz.

63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.

64. Inflatable novelties do *not* entitle me to BAQ or Separation pay.

65. There are no evil clowns living under my bed.

66. There is no “Anti-Mime” campaign in Bosnia.

67. I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot.

68. I may not line my helmet with tin foil to “Block out the space mind control lasers”.

69. May not pretend to be a fascist stormtrooper, while on duty.

70. I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication.

71. I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my chain of command.

72. May not wear gimp mask while on duty.

73. No military functions are to be performed “Skyclad”.

74. Woad is not camouflage makeup.

75. May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command.

76. "Teddy Bear, Teddy bear, turn around" is *not* a cadence.

77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."

78. I may not call block my chain of command.

79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese.

80. Not allowed to wear a dress to any army functions.

81. May not bring a drag queen to the battalion formal dance.

82. May not form any press gangs.

83. Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with "I recently had an experience I just had to write you about...."

84. Must not use military vehicles to “Squish” things.

85. Not allowed to make any Psychological Warfare products depicting the infamous Ft. Bragg sniper incident.

86. May not challenge anyone in my chain of command to the “field of honor”.

87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

88. Must not refer to 1st Sgt as “Mom”.

89. Must not refer to the Commander as “Dad”.

90. Inflatable sheep do *not* need to be displayed during a room inspection.

91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad.

92. When asked to give a few words at a military ceremony “Romper Bomper Stomper Boo” is probably not appropriate.

93. Nerve gas is not funny.

94. Crucifixes do not ward off officers, and I should not test that.

95. I am not in need of a more suitable host body.

96. “Redneck Zombies” is not a military training aid.

97. Gozer does not dwell in my refrigerator.

98. The proper response to a chemical weapon attack is not “Tell my chain of command what I really think about them, and then poke holes in their masks.”

99. A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield.

100. Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.

101. I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon.

102. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are "casualties of war".

103. My commander is not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and I should stop implying that he did.

104. Vodka, green food coloring, and a “Cool Mint” Listerine® bottle is not a good combination.

105. I am not allowed to bum cigarettes off of anyone under twelve.

106. I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD’s.

107. Must not mock command decisions in front of the press.

108. Should not taunt members of the press, even if they are really fat, exceptionally stupid, and working for UPI.

109. I am not authorized to change national policy in Eastern Europe.

110. Never, ever, attempt to correct a Green Beret officer about anything.

111. I am not qualified to operate any US, German, Polish, or Russian Armored vehicles.

112. When saluting a “leg” officer, an appropriate greeting is not "Airborne leads the wa- oh...sorry sir".

113. There is absolutely no need to emulate the people from “Full Monty” every time I hear the song "Hot Stuff".

114. I cannot trade my CO to the Russians.

115. I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me.

116. Crucifying mice - bad idea.

117. Must not use government equipment to bootleg pornography.

118. Burn pits for classified material are not revel fires - therefore it is wrong to dance naked around them.

119. I cannot arrest children for being rude.

120. An EO briefing is probably not the best place to unveil my newest off color joke.

121. I should not use government resources to “waterproof” dirty magazines.

122. Radioactive material should not be stored in the barracks.

123. I should not teach other soldiers to say offensive and crude things in Albanian, under the guise of teaching them how to say potentially useful phrases.

124. Two drink limit does not mean first and last.

125. Two drink limit does not mean two kinds of drinks.

126. Two drink limit does not mean the drinks can be as large as I like.

127. “No Drinking Of Alcoholic Beverages” does not imply that a Jack Daniel’s ® IV is acceptable.

128. "Shpadoinkle" is not a real word.

129. The Microsoft ® “Dancing Paperclip” is not authorized to countermand any orders.

130. “I’m drunk” is a bad answer to any question posed by my commander.

131. No dancing in the turret. This especially applies in conjunction with rule #113.

132. The loudspeaker system is not a forum to voice my ideas.

133. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to replace the radio.

134. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to broadcast the soundtrack to a porno movie.

135. An order to put polish on my boots means the whole boot.

136. Shouting “Let’s do the village! Let’s do the whole ****ing village!” while out on a mission is bad.

137. Should not show up at the front gate wearing part of a Russian uniform, messily drunk.

138. Even if my commander did it.

139. Must not teach interpreters how to make "MRE" bombs.

140. I am not authorized to sell mineral rights.

141. Not allowed to use a broadsword to disprove “The Pen is Mightier than the sword”.

142. “Calvin-Ball” is not authorized PT.

143. I do not need to keep a “range card” by my window.

144. “K-Pot, LBE, and a thin coat of Break-free” is not an authorized uniform.

145. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.

146. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.

147. I should not threaten suicide with pop rocks and Coke ®.

148. Putting red “Mike and Ike's” ® into a prescription medicine bottle, and then eating them all in a formation is not funny.

149. Must not create new DOD forms, then insist they be filled out.

150. On Sports Day PT, a wedgie is not considered a legal tackle.

151. The proper way to report to my Commander is “Specialist Schwarz, reporting as ordered, Sir” not “You can't prove a thing!”

152. The following items do not exist: Keys to the Drop Zone, A box of grid squares, blinker fluid, winter air for tires, canopy lights, or Chem-Light ® batteries.

153. I should not assign new privates to “guard the flight line”.

154. Shouldn't treat “piss-bottles” with extra-strength icy hot.

155. Teaching Albanian children to taunt other soldiers is not nice.

156. I will no longer perform “lap-dances” while in uniform.

157. If I take the uniform off, in the course of the lap-dance, it still counts.

158. The revolution is not now.

159. When detained by MP's, I do not have a right to a strip search.

160. No part of the military uniform is edible.

161. Bodychecking General officers is not a good idea.

162. Past lives have absolutely no effect on the chain of command.

163. Take that hat off.

164. There is no such thing as a were-virgin.

165. I do not get “that time of month”.

166. No, the pants are not optional.

167. Not allowed to operate a business out of the barracks.

168. Especially not a pornographic movie studio.

169. Not even if they *are* “especially patriotic films”

170. Not allowed to “defect” to OPFOR during training missions.

171. On training missions, try not to shoot down the General's helicopter.

172. “A full magazine and some privacy” is not the way to help a potential suicide.

173. I am not allowed to create new levels of security clearance.

174. Furby ® is not allowed into classified areas. (I swear to the gods, I did not make that up, it's actually DOD policy).

175. We do not “charge into battle, naked, like the Celts”.

176. Any device that can crawl across the table on medium, does not need to be brought into the office.

177. I am not to refer to a formation as “the boxy rectangle thingie”.

178. I am not “A lesbian trapped in a man's body”.

179. On Army documents, my race is not “Other”.

180. Nor is it “Secretariat, in the third”.

181. Pokémon® trainer is not an MOS.

182. There is no FM for “wall-to-wall counseling”.

183. My chain of command has neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups. ®

184. When operating a military vehicle I may *not* attempt something “I saw in a cartoon”.

185. My name is not a killing word.

186. I am not the Emperor of anything.

187. Must not taunt officers in the throes of nicotine withdrawal, with cigarettes.

188. May not challenge officers to “Meet me on the field of honor, at dawn”.

189. Do not dare SERE graduates to eat bugs. They will always do it.

190. Must not make s'mores while on guard duty.

191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.

192. The proper response to a briefing is not “That's what you think”.

193. The Masons, and Gray Aliens are not in our chain of command.

194. Shouldn't take incriminating photos of my chain of command.

195. Shouldn't use Photoshop ® to create incriminating photos of my chain of command.

196. I am not allowed to give tattoos.

197. I am not allowed to sing “Henry the VIII I am” until verse 68 ever again.

198. Not allowed to lead a “Coup” during training missions.

199. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born.

200. My chain of command is not interested in why I “just happen” to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car.

201. Must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad.

202. Despite the confusing similarity in the names, the "Safety Dance" and the "Safety Briefing" are never to be combined.

203. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is a bad long term goal to give the re-enlistment NCO.

204. NEVER nail a stuffed bunny to a cross and put it up in front of the Battalion Headquarters sign as an "Easter Desecration."

205. Don't write up false gigs on a HMMWV PMCS. ("Broken clutch pedal", "Number three turbine has frequent flame-outs", "flux capacitor emits loud whine when engaged")

206. Not allowed to get shot.

207. The Chicken and Rice MRE is *not* a personal lubricant. (Skippy wanted this noted for the record that this is not something he has ever attempted or considered! It was something we heard at dinner on 22 September 2001 and it was just so obscene it had to go here.)

208. Not allowed to play into the deluded fantasies of the civilians who are "hearing conversations" from the NSA, FBI, CIA and KGB due to the microchip the aliens implanted in their brain.

209. An airsickness bag is to be used for airsickness *only*. (Also not a Skippy-ism...this was the same dinner.)

210. Must not make T-shirts up depicting a pig with the writing "Eat Pork or Die" in Arabic to bring as civilian attire when preparing to deploy to a primarily Muslim country.

211. Don't ask LTC Steele to sign my copy of Blackhawk Down.

212. Must not go on nine deployments in six years that require a security clearance that I don't have, even if the Army tells me repeatedly that I have one and I have no reason to question them.

213. Do not convince NCO's that their razorbumps are the result of microscopic parasites.

[Odysseus]

Too funny Bronx33. A classic example of mega mondo cut and paste. Now I have to read them all.

[watermock]

Not allowed to lead a “Coup” during training missions.


You obviously have never seen "Stripes"....oh..they were on active duty...Ha!

[cutman0122]

Yesterday i took the oath of enlistment to enter the DEP. Now i wait for my ship date and AFSC (Job). Hopefully i don't have to wait too long, but long enough where i can get into shape. I picked 4 jobs, but i can always go back to my recuiter and change them. i plan on changing 1 or 2 once i read up on more jobs. However, i am hoping i get my first choice, 3c0x1 (Computer System Operations). Paralegal was another choice, but the liason said it's a rare job. So i'm going to do more research over the weekend and pick some more that can get me a good job on the outside.

I've read stories of people having to renlist into DEP since they didnt get a job for over a year. I hope i dont have to wait that long.

I signed up for 4 years, and I'll be going in as an E-1. I figured it was better than signing up for 6 years and going in as an E-1. Hopefully i end up loving it, Military is a wonderful oppurtunity and I'm glad i'm getting into the Air Force.


Air Force, so how come you didn't put in for aircraft maintenance? Who tipped you off? Seriously though, definitely stay away from the fighter aircraft maintenance business. Especially if you want to make a career of it. Good luck!

[Broncoman13]

Why is that? I started off as open mechanical when I was in the DEP. I did my 4 years of active duty the went straight to the Texas Air National Guard. My first Civil Service job... I started at $16.25 an hour in 2000. By the time I moved on to Defense Contract Management this past year I was at $24.00 an hour. Not great money, but in addition to my military pay I'd do right around $60k a year. Plus, it really set the ground work for where I am today. I know a lot of people that work for different KTR's BELL Textron, Lockheed, Boeing, etc. that easily make $75-100k a year. I suppose you could probably make more in computers, but if you enjoy working on air craft it's not a bad way to go!

[ant1999e]

You don't want to work on aircraft in todays Air Force. Those guys are worked to death and always deployed. I know a few that work on refuelers. They are hating life.

[Odysseus]

You don't want to work on aircraft in todays Air Force. Those guys are worked to death and always deployed. I know a few that work on refuelers. They are hating life.

Getting deployed with Air Force is so cake. They aren't here long enough to unpack their bags. Army extension is longer than an Air Force deployment.

[ant1999e]

That's why i joined the chAir Force. However, we are becoming more and more like the Army. We may never get there completely but we are moving that way.

[Odysseus]

That's why i joined the chAir Force. However, we are becoming more and more like the Army. We may never get there completely but we are moving that way.

Cannot argue with smart logic. Air Force chics are so much hotter. They haven't had all the girl beaten out of them.

I would advise anyone to consider the Air Force over Army regardless of deployment.

[watermock]

Problem is, some chick who has sent a GPS bomb up some terrorists ass is inherently dangerous...Yet rather compelling...

[Broncoman13]

There's a lot of truth in that Mock. Being that I worked hands on with the weapons your often refer to, and I've worked with a few different girls that could more than hold their own. In fact, we had a girl get into a fight at a bowling alley a few years ago. She broke a dude's nose at the bar and then put a knee in the groin of the officer that was arresting her. She got to spend the night in jail and ended up with quite a bit of community service. Funny story though... she was only about 5'3" and 120 or so.

To the topic of which service is better... depends on what you want I suppose. I will say this, most of the 'former' Marines and even current Marines would either recommend the Air Force or the Marines only as an officer to their own children. I guess people can hang their hat on being hard core and bad to the bone, but I'd prefer to have a life to live and a family to show for it!

[ant1999e]

I was 6 hours from going to MEPS to join the Army but my aunt who had been in the army for 12yrs convinced me that I was choosing the wrong branch. She told me to join the Air force. Thank god I listened to her. I was in Riyad, SA and had to go out to do some maintenance on a building at a patriot missle site. The army guys out there had to do 8 mos compared to my 3. It really looked like a miserable life.

[Bronx33]

I was 6 hours from going to MEPS to join the Army but my aunt who had been in the army for 12yrs convinced me that I was choosing the wrong branch. She told me to join the Air force. Thank god I listened to her. I was in Riyad, SA and had to go out to do some maintenance on a building at a patriot missle site. The army guys out there had to do 8 mos compared to my 3. It really looked like a miserable life.


Now who has more experience though?

[Flyboy063]

6 years isn't really that long. I'll hit my 6 year mark Feb 17th and it doesn't seem like it has been that long. Here is a way to look at it. Depending on your motives for joining. You say you want to tour the world and get an education, right? Well you can look at it like this the first 6 weeks is BMT after that tech school can be anywhere from 1 month (personnel and 3A0X1 aka poptarts) to 9 month (2E2 and electronic warfare folks) to even 13 months (linguist). I'll use the 2E2 training as an example. Just finishing training you'll be at 10 1/2 months before your first base, right? Wrong. If you are one of the unlucky folks you'll get stuck on weeds and seeds waiting for a tech school class to start up. I've known folks who did that for a month. Also you can apply for RAP (recruiters assistance program) for 7 or 14 days (can't remember for sure) which is basically free leave if you have a kickass recruiter. Plus most troops take about a week to 2 weeks of leave after tech school. That puts you at 11 1/2 months to a 12 1/2 before you get to your first base. If you get an overseas tour it'll most likely be a 2 year tour. Chances are you'll have such a kicka$$ time that you'll want to do an IPCOT (in place continuous overseas tour) or a COT which you won't be able to unless you re-enlist. You could do an extension and that will keep you there til your DOS. So as you can see the time will fly and four years probably won't allow you to travel and get your education so you'd have to sacrifice one or the other.

Also you might want to take into account on how long it takes you to get settled into a new place. It takes me anywhere from 3 to 6 months to get acquainted with a new place before I feel normal. I seriously believe you can't go wrong for signing up for 6.

I'll pat myself on the back to show you the difference signing up for 6 did for me. Sorry folks. I came in as a 6 year enlistee put my E-3 stripes on after tech school (which was a total of 3 1/2 months plus a month and a half for BMT) after that I got E-4 BTZ so I sewed on at 23 months TIG. I made the E-5 test cut-off date by one day. Studied my ass off for the PFE test because I had people telling me I didn't deserve to be testing for staff (I like proving people wrong), I made the cut-off for E-5 by a lot and sewed on my E-5 stripes at 3 1/2 years. to compare that to a couple of my friends who came in the same time as me as E-1 four year enlistees 2 made E-4 at 3 years and 1 made it at 30 months.

Once again sorry for the book, but I think it is important to give Ratboy different angles to look at enlisting and true to life examples.

[Odysseus]

Marine should be tattoed with a sticker on the back of their skulls do not try this at home.

[Bronx33]

Marine should be tattoed with a sticker on the back of their skulls do not try this at home.


My cousin is a short timer in the marines right now and just came back from his second tour in iraq he was i 1/7/Alpha and was in all the nasty stuff so yes that bumper sticker would be fitting of a jarhead after the stories he told me.

[Odysseus]

Once again sorry for the book, but I think it is important to give Ratboy different angles to look at enlisting and true to life examples.

You are absolutely right on. I don't think any two people experience are the same. You'll have guys that you think have everything and they flush it all in a flash of way too stupid.

I apologize if I seem hard on Marines. I'm not. I like Marines a lot. They do a lot with nothing. Those are the guys paying the rent.

Navy is everybit as smart as Air Force and they can fight. It's just hard to get in without getting snagged on a big boat. Big boat bad.

[Odysseus]

My cousin is a short timer in the marines right now and just came back from his second tour in iraq he was i 1/7/Alpha and was in all the nasty stuff so yes that bumper sticker would be fitting of a jarhead after the stories he told me.

Shiat!!! He's certified.

Take him fishing. Drink beer. Don't say a frigging thing. God Bless the Marines.

[watermock]

My cousin Larry's daughter got home finally. A woman marine.

[Broncoman13]

6 years isn't really that long. I'll hit my 6 year mark Feb 17th and it doesn't seem like it has been that long. Here is a way to look at it. Depending on your motives for joining. You say you want to tour the world and get an education, right? Well you can look at it like this the first 6 weeks is BMT after that tech school can be anywhere from 1 month (personnel and 3A0X1 aka poptarts) to 9 month (2E2 and electronic warfare folks) to even 13 months (linguist). I'll use the 2E2 training as an example. Just finishing training you'll be at 10 1/2 months before your first base, right? Wrong. If you are one of the unlucky folks you'll get stuck on weeds and seeds waiting for a tech school class to start up. I've known folks who did that for a month. Also you can apply for RAP (recruiters assistance program) for 7 or 14 days (can't remember for sure) which is basically free leave if you have a kickass recruiter. Plus most troops take about a week to 2 weeks of leave after tech school. That puts you at 11 1/2 months to a 12 1/2 before you get to your first base. If you get an overseas tour it'll most likely be a 2 year tour. Chances are you'll have such a kicka$$ time that you'll want to do an IPCOT (in place continuous overseas tour) or a COT which you won't be able to unless you re-enlist. You could do an extension and that will keep you there til your DOS. So as you can see the time will fly and four years probably won't allow you to travel and get your education so you'd have to sacrifice one or the other.

Also you might want to take into account on how long it takes you to get settled into a new place. It takes me anywhere from 3 to 6 months to get acquainted with a new place before I feel normal. I seriously believe you can't go wrong for signing up for 6.

I'll pat myself on the back to show you the difference signing up for 6 did for me. Sorry folks. I came in as a 6 year enlistee put my E-3 stripes on after tech school (which was a total of 3 1/2 months plus a month and a half for BMT) after that I got E-4 BTZ so I sewed on at 23 months TIG. I made the E-5 test cut-off date by one day. Studied my ass off for the PFE test because I had people telling me I didn't deserve to be testing for staff (I like proving people wrong), I made the cut-off for E-5 by a lot and sewed on my E-5 stripes at 3 1/2 years. to compare that to a couple of my friends who came in the same time as me as E-1 four year enlistees 2 made E-4 at 3 years and 1 made it at 30 months.

Once again sorry for the book, but I think it is important to give Ratboy different angles to look at enlisting and true to life examples.


That's what I was referring to as glorified Senior Airman earlier. When I came in we still had a few Buck Sgts. It was also fairly common to see a Senior Airman coming up on high year tenure... 9 years in the service and still and E-4! Then the Air Force started losing nearly 75% of its first term airmen. In an effort to keep these airmen (for various reasons, most of which is related to training for future airmen) they started with the big time SRB's (Special Re-enlistment Bonuses) for your first re-up, and then the low cutoffs for E-5. Not saying that your cutoff was low, but when I was first in the cutoffs for staff were routinely in the 310's. I missed E-5 my first time testing by 6 points if I remember correctly. That year they lowered the cutoff down to 290. I scored a 73 and a 77 on my WAPS... the highest of anybody in my shop. I was the only one of 9 that didn't make Staff, but I was the only one testing for the first time too.

So basically, in today's Air Force you very rarely see a 6 year Senior Airman... I mean by that time you can pretty much make the cutoffs (now routinely in the 270's) without even taking a WAPS test... in theory anyhow.

[Broncoman13]

My cousin Larry's daughter got home finally. A woman marine.


AKA A Wham.

[Odysseus]

www.tsp.gov -- This is one the best investment vehicles you can ever get your hands on.

[Dukes]

www.tsp.gov -- This is one the best investment vehicles you can ever get your hands on.

I've only heard a few things about this. Haven't actually done any research on it myself. Your lucky today if you get a command that actually informs you about opportunities like this. I've got less than a yr and a half left so its a little late for me.

[cutman0122]

Why is that? I started off as open mechanical when I was in the DEP. I did my 4 years of active duty the went straight to the Texas Air National Guard. My first Civil Service job... I started at $16.25 an hour in 2000. By the time I moved on to Defense Contract Management this past year I was at $24.00 an hour. Not great money, but in addition to my military pay I'd do right around $60k a year. Plus, it really set the ground work for where I am today. I know a lot of people that work for different KTR's BELL Textron, Lockheed, Boeing, etc. that easily make $75-100k a year. I suppose you could probably make more in computers, but if you enjoy working on air craft it's not a bad way to go!

Working on aircraft is great, it's the rest of the baggage that comes with (fighter world) that's not so great. 12-14 hours days/nights are not uncommom (depending on location and aircraft), and that is a formula proven to burn out the majority. It's no accident that this business has had a chronic, monetary incentive/bonus to persuade personnel to stay in. And as big as the offers have been past few years, a lot still elect to get out, or retrain.

[Broncoman13]

www.tsp.gov -- This is one the best investment vehicles you can ever get your hands on.


I took a loan out against mine a little while back... Still doing quite well with it though. Civil Service matches up to 5%. I started when I was 23. I've always put in the 5% and then got the match. I should probably be putting in 10% + 5% match, but I have about 30 years to go so I'm stiting pretty!

[Broncoman13]

Working on aircraft is great, it's the rest of the baggage that comes with (fighter world) that's not so great. 12-14 hours days/nights are not uncommom (depending on location and aircraft), and that is a formula proven to burn out the majority. It's no accident that this business has had a chronic, monetary incentive/bonus to persuade personnel to stay in. And as big as the offers have been past few years, a lot still elect to get out, or retrain.


Like I said, I worked fighters, been on the flightline for 10 years. Very rarely did I work those 12 hour days... and never once b/c of regulations (ACC21-101) worked over those 12 hours. The only time I worked 12 hour days was during an Exercise, an exercise prep, or ORI.

[Dutch]

AKA A Wham.

Negative Oskie, that would be a BAM (Broad A$$ed Marine). Trying very hard not to dive into this one Gents.

Semper Fi,
Dutch

[Broncoman13]

Negative Oskie, that would be a BAM (Broad A$$ed Marine). Trying very hard not to dive into this one Gents.

Semper Fi,
Dutch

LMAO... now I have something else to crack on the Gunny and Col with!!!

[Odysseus]

I took a loan out against mine a little while back... Still doing quite well with it though. Civil Service matches up to 5%. I started when I was 23. I've always put in the 5% and then got the match. I should probably be putting in 10% + 5% match, but I have about 30 years to go so I'm stiting pretty!

When you are young your dollars are huge. Look up the magic of compound interest. It's an old concept based on the rule of 72. I promise you. A $1,000 in the bank now versus 20 years from now is a big deal. I say this for Ratboy as as well as anyone just getting started.

http://www.moneychimp.com/features/rule72.htm

There are a ton of benefits that are applicable to military only that guys don't use. You have to ask a lot of questions to find some of this stuff.

One link I like that is an Army link gives you EVERYTHING. (PM me if you want the link) All you need is Net access and you can get Oracle training, Rosetta Stone (Any language) Cisco, CompTia, mentoring. promotion points, and over 2,000 courses available. It's a huge amount of knowledge. I am sure the Air Force has the same thing.

[missingnumber7]

Dude, I was never a E-1. I told my recruiter the only way I would sign is if he gave me at least a 3 I wanted 4's but I got a 3. I was a PFC and when I got back from basic I got my SPC...6 months later we went to Iraq and I came back and I'm an O-1 now. And am realizing that the cake life is the officer side.

[Ratboy]

I can get A1C if i sign for 6 years, lol.

[BMF Bronco]

Congrats! I did four years in the USAF, didn't really like it but loving the benefits from it now. It helped me grow up as a person, gave me the opportunity to travel to places I never would have gone (i.e. Germany, Amsterdam, Switzerland, etc), and brought me to beautiful Montana. Not to mention the diability I get for my knees! Good luck, make the most of it and the best advise I saw on here...

WEAR A RUBBER!!!!!!!!!!

[Dutch]

When you are young your dollars are huge. Look up the magic of compound interest. It's an old concept based on the rule of 72. I promise you. A $1,000 in the bank now versus 20 years from now is a big deal. I say this for Ratboy as as well as anyone just getting started.

http://www.moneychimp.com/features/rule72.htm

There are a ton of benefits that are applicable to military only that guys don't use. You have to ask a lot of questions to find some of this stuff.

One link I like that is an Army link gives you EVERYTHING. (PM me if you want the link) All you need is Net access and you can get Oracle training, Rosetta Stone (Any language) Cisco, CompTia, mentoring. promotion points, and over 2,000 courses available. It's a huge amount of knowledge. I am sure the Air Force has the same thing.



Great points QT. Every one of the branches has a program like this available and you are crazy if you don't utilize them. That training runs big $$ in the world. get all you can while you are in, degree as well if poss. It will set you up completely later on. My wife is a former BAM (not broad at all, though). She earned her B/A in Computer Science while on active duty and has used her GI Bill to get B/S in Electrical Engineering over the last five years going part time. Talk about marketable, female, 2 degrees, 17 YEARS of experience, leadership/management training second to none, and she is only 35 years old!

Dutch

[Dutch]

LMAO... now I have something else to crack on the Gunny and Col with!!!


Quick joke for you, Oskie.

This one is great in mixed services company:

When trying to educate a civilian on the differences between the four major branches of service, it can be easily accomplished by looking at the differences in our terminology. Each branch has a slightly different way of communicating/interpreting things. Take the word "Secure" as a good example. If you tell the Navy to "Secure" a building, they will batten down the hatches and portholes and make ready for a storm. If you tell the Army to "Secure" the building, they will establish a security perimeter and checkpoints and will not allow anyone in or out without proper ID and authorization. Tell the Marines the same and they will storm the building killing everyone inside and defend it to their last dying breath. Then ask the Air Force to "Secure" the building and they will find who owns it, buy it (paying at least 10 times what it is worth), and never use it for a thing!

Post,
Dutch

[ant1999e]

Dude, I was never a E-1. I told my recruiter the only way I would sign is if he gave me at least a 3 I wanted 4's but I got a 3. I was a PFC and when I got back from basic I got my SPC...6 months later we went to Iraq and I came back and I'm an O-1 now. And am realizing that the cake life is the officer side.
How does that happen? That's a big promotion. Did you save the world?

[ant1999e]

Like I said, I worked fighters, been on the flightline for 10 years. Very rarely did I work those 12 hour days... and never once b/c of regulations (ACC21-101) worked over those 12 hours. The only time I worked 12 hour days was during an Exercise, an exercise prep, or ORI.
How long ago was that? If recent it may depend on bases. I'm at McConnell. The work their asses of on the flightline here. It was the same over in the desert.

[Broncoman13]

Everything goes out the window upon deployment. 12-14 hours are the norm, but that's where I'd rather be anyhow. You can't be around your family you might as well work... keeps your mind occupied.

I know for sure that during our ORI Apirl 2005, it was a direct violation for me to work any of my crews over 12 hours. That 12 hours, as defined by 21-101 included the time it took to process from CCA to Duty Post. Both back and forth actually, so I had my guys for about 10-11 hours depending on what time the attacks were taking place. Keep in mind that I worked with explosives and there are probably special rules due to fatigue for our AFSC.

[Odysseus]

Paging Ratboy!

Updates??????