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Rulon Velvet Jones
01-09-2006, 06:17 PM
Chuck Norris has 2 speeds - walk and kill.

God wanted 10 days to create the Earth. Tedy Bruschi gave him 6.

Every year on his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Tedy Bruschi isn't hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Tedy Bruschi.

Bronx33
01-09-2006, 06:21 PM
Just so you know teddy rotated the tires on the OF1 the man can do anything!

Rulon Velvet Jones
01-09-2006, 06:32 PM
Bruschi travelled back in time to save President Kennedy. He jumped in front of the Magic Bullet and destroyed it with his pecs. Kennedy was so amazed, his head exploded.

Garcia Bronco
01-09-2006, 06:46 PM
Who would win in fight between Ali and 6 mini-Tedy Bruschi's?

Ali Homefield advantage.


6 mini-Tedy Bruschi

theedge111
01-09-2006, 06:46 PM
Ted Bruschi uses ribbed condems inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Garcia Bronco
01-09-2006, 06:50 PM
Tedy Bruschi only takes off the Helmet for one thing...and it ain't sleepin'

Hogan11
01-09-2006, 06:53 PM
Teddy Bruschi is like Mario Lemieux and Keith Richards to me.....these guys are not human, they survive anything and everything and keep coming back to kick your ass again and again.....much like The Terminator.....it's hard not to admire these alien beings.

Of course ESPN has already stated that we have no chance, we're in trouble and yadda, yadda, yadda...so I guess we should just pack everything up and go home....even more reason to defy the so-called experts and dispatch the Pats with total aplomb. You know how that would be received? Take all the whining, sobbing and moaning about Palmer and Taylor and multiply it by 100.

I'm really looking forward to that.

elsid13
01-09-2006, 06:56 PM
Who would win in fight between Ali and 6 mini-Tedy Bruschi's?

Ali Homefield advantage.


6 mini-Tedy Bruschi


The real question 6 mini-Brushi vs 6 mini-Ditkas who wins? Yah, there fighting in a toronado too.

Kaylore
01-09-2006, 07:00 PM
I remember one time I was thinking bad thoughts about Tedy Bruschi when suddenly he entered my mind (whether in physical form, or ethereal, I know not) and kicked my brain's ass. When I awakened, I was laying face down, naked in the mud, destroyed and disoriented. The only evidence that remained from the incident was three large ring marks and one small thumb-knuckle indentation across my right cheek. Even though I looked awful and appeared to be shamed, people came from all around the land to lick my sweat in hopes to absorb any Bruschi residue that remained.

True story. :)

scorpio
01-09-2006, 07:13 PM
Teddy Bruschi once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road.

The Bruschi family crest is a picture of a baracudda eating Neil Armstrong.

Teddy Bruschi named the group Sha-Na-Na. They did NOT want to be called that.

Teddy Bruschi taught me how to make love to a woman, and how to scold a child.

One time I was with Bruschi in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Bruschi goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm TEDDY BRUSCHI! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'tedeebrewski' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!




That Teddy Bruschi is a sonofabitch.

Sideburn
01-09-2006, 07:15 PM
When Tedy Bruschi does a pushup, he's not pushing himself up, he's pushing the world down.

scorpio
01-09-2006, 07:17 PM
Teddy Bruschi once showed me a video of him making love to my wife, and it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw!

Bronx33
01-09-2006, 07:17 PM
Teddy drives a M1A1 / M1A2 ABRAMS tank to practice.

wolf754life
01-09-2006, 07:21 PM
Whatever he hits, HE DESTROYS!!!

rocky 4

Hercules Rockefeller
01-09-2006, 07:25 PM
If Tedy ever has sex with a man, it doesn't mean he's gay, it means he's already had sex with every woman on Earth

Garcia Bronco
01-09-2006, 07:30 PM
The real question 6 mini-Brushi vs 6 mini-Ditkas who wins? Yah, there fighting in a toronado too.



That's a close one.........diffenately 6-mini-Brushi's

Florida_Bronco
01-09-2006, 07:31 PM
LOL @ this thread

Garcia Bronco
01-09-2006, 07:31 PM
George Bush doesn't sign a law...unless Tedy Bruschi says so.

Spider
01-09-2006, 07:34 PM
Bruschi gave John Elway life .............

Garcia Bronco
01-09-2006, 07:35 PM
Ted Kennedy...doesn't drink unless Tedy Bruschi says so.

Bronx33
01-09-2006, 07:35 PM
Teddy gave birth to one of his kids so his wife could go to the gym.

Garcia Bronco
01-09-2006, 07:37 PM
Tedy Bruschi has hand.

Sideburn
01-09-2006, 07:38 PM
When Tedy Bruschi goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Tedy Bruschi and forgot to pay him back.

When Tedy Bruschi was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Tedy Bruschi!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Tedy Bruschi could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Crop circles are Tedy's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.

Tedy Bruschi can count backwards from infinity.

When Tedy Bruschi jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Bruschi'd instead.

Tedy Bruschi is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Tedy Bruschi can divide by zero.

Tedy Bruschi has two speeds: walk and kill.

Tedy Bruschi is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's ****.

Tedy Bruschi can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

You are what you eat. That is why Tedy Bruschi's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

Tedy Bruschi once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Tedy Bruschi, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

Tedy Bruschi is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

When Tedy Bruschi had his first wet dream, he nearly drowned.

Tedy Bruschi played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.

If you were to lock Tedy Bruschi in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Tedy replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.

Tedy Bruschi doesn't believe in rubber condoms. Instead, he sticks his penis in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while ****ing another.

The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Tedy Bruschi punched himself in the face.

Tedy Bruschi invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Tedy Bruschi coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

Sgt Sauce
01-09-2006, 07:40 PM
Teddy Bruschi has a toenail on the end of his penis and he uses a rattlesnake as a condom

Sgt Sauce
01-09-2006, 07:42 PM
Teddy Bruschi beer bongs an oxen's meunstral cycle before playoff games

Kaylore
01-09-2006, 07:43 PM
Man...or God?

MadCity
01-09-2006, 07:44 PM
Rest assured, The major export of Tedy Bruschi is PAIN.

scorpio
01-09-2006, 07:49 PM
He hates Mexicans! And he's half Mexican! .......And he hates irony!

MadCity
01-09-2006, 07:52 PM
He hates Mexicans! And he's half Mexican! .......And he hates irony!

His being half Mexican has nothing to do with his mom or dad though, the man ATE A MEXICAN!

freak6
01-09-2006, 07:55 PM
omg, that one about the grammy's made me cry!!!

Garcia Bronco
01-09-2006, 07:55 PM
Paul Bunyon is really the story of Tedy Bruschi ...they names were changed at request of Tedy Bruschi ...because sometimes...it's not all about Tedy Bruschi.

elsid13
01-09-2006, 07:57 PM
God created the world because Bruschi needed a place to rest

Garcia Bronco
01-09-2006, 07:59 PM
Many don't know this but...Tedy Bruschi is after the third Bald Bull in 'Mike Tyson's Punchout'

Sideburn
01-09-2006, 08:03 PM
Tedy Bruschi doesn't stretch his muscles before a game, he stretches everyone else around him causing them in fact to think he is stretching.

Sideburn
01-09-2006, 08:04 PM
While still living, the Late Johnnie Cochran once called Tedy Bruschi for legal advice.

KouPilot
01-09-2006, 08:05 PM
Everyone knows Teddy Bruschi personally stopped 3 lavanados(you know when a tornado passes over an erupting volcano. its only the worlds worst natural disaster)

Sideburn
01-09-2006, 08:08 PM
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Tedy Bruschi has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Kaylore
01-09-2006, 08:12 PM
An oldie but goody:

Commentary from the game Bruschi returned from his injury. (http://eod.liquidviewer.com/wgr-od/wgr/20051031_bruschipbp-1.wma)

Sideburn
01-09-2006, 08:18 PM
Tedy Bruschis' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Tedy Bruschi once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Tedy Bruschi has yet to get a Jeopardy question wrong. Jesus has missed two.

When Tedy Bruschi plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

A man once asked Tedy Bruschi if his real name is "Theodore." Tedy Bruschi did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Tedy Bruschi recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

The original theme song to Transformers was actually "Tedy Bruschi — more than meets the eye, Tedy Bruschi — robot in disguise," and starred Tedy Bruschi as a New England Patriot who defended the earth from drug-dealing Ravens and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Tedy Bruschi smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes.

Tedy Bruschi was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "awesomeness." Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Tedy omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

Tedy Bruschi can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya."

Tedy Bruschi does not sleep. He waits.

Tedy Bruschi once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

The chief export of Tedy Bruschi is pain.

Tedy Bruschi is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

If you can see Tedy Bruschi, he can see you. If you can't see Tedy Bruschi you may be only seconds away from death.

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Tedy Bruschi

Helen Keller's favourite color is Tedy Bruschi.

Tedy Bruschi took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity," then you are dead wrong.

Florida_Bronco
01-09-2006, 08:24 PM
This is Ring of Fame material right here!

Sideburn
01-09-2006, 08:31 PM
15 FACTS ABOUT Tedy Bruschi

1. If you ask Tedy Bruschi what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he tackles you, snapping your spine.

2. Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Tedy Bruschi can kill him and take it.

3. Tedy Bruschi doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

4. Filming on location for an NFL game, Tedy Bruschi brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged Brew-ha-ha rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Tedy Bruschi super tackled the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that the good Tedy giveth, and the good Tedy, he taketh away.

5. Tedy Bruschi lost his virginity before his dad did.

6. There are no disabled people in the world. Only those people who have felt the wrath of Tedy Bruschi.

7. Since 1973, the year Tedy Bruschi was born, super tackle related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

8. Tedy Bruschi has recently changed his middle name to "****ing."

9. When Tedy Bruschi sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Tedy Bruschi has not had to pay taxes ever.

10. There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Tedy Bruschi.

11. In the movie "Back to the Future" they used Tedy Bruschis' Delorean to go back into time and into the future. When they gave it back to him with a scratch on it he was angry and super tackled Michael J. Fox, which years later was the cause of his Parkinson's disease.

12. Tedy Bruschi always has sex on the first date. Always. The only time he didn't was in 1941, otherwise known as the beginning of the Holocaust.

13. Tedy Bruschi can enter up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Select, Start using only his erection.

14. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Tedy Bruschi allows to live.

15. It takes Tedy Bruschi 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Sideburn
01-09-2006, 08:37 PM
When Tedy Bruschi's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Tedy said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a super tackle and said, "Never question Tedy Bruschi."

Florida_Bronco
01-09-2006, 08:38 PM
Oh man Sideburn keep em coming!!

Sideburn
01-09-2006, 08:40 PM
I'm done...spent...Only Tedy Bruschi could come up with more

Florida_Bronco
01-09-2006, 08:41 PM
I'm done...spent...Only Tedy Bruschi could come up with more

Tedy Bruschi would super tackle (should that have a trademark sign?) you for quitting....for shame.

:giggle:

elsid13
01-09-2006, 08:43 PM
I'm done...spent...Only Tedy Bruschi could come up with more


How dare you compare yourself to the great one.

Now go whip yourself with barbwire, because that what Teddy would do

Florida_Bronco
01-09-2006, 08:44 PM
How dare you compare yourself to the great one.

Now go whip yourself with barbwire, because that what Teddy would do

Teddy would use rusty barb wire :thumbsup:

Rulon Velvet Jones
01-09-2006, 08:45 PM
Tedy Bruschi is like a Pez dispenser. Except he doesn't spit out candies. He spits out pain. And he never runs out.

Children are afraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of Tedy Bruschi.

If Tedy Bruschi and Chuck Norris ever had sex with a woman at the same time, the resulting sperm battle inside of the woman would rage so fiercely her uterus would explode and time would flow backward.

Tedy Bruschi once thought a pastry looked at him the wrong way, so he fired off a roundhouse kick. Donuts were invented.

Bronx33
01-09-2006, 08:46 PM
I actually had to read this thread in shifts because i was laughing to hard.

Sideburn
01-09-2006, 08:47 PM
The Lombardi trophy will be changed to the Bruschi after this year, when it is discovered that Tedy Bruschi was actually coaching wearing Lombardi as a coat.

Rulon Velvet Jones
01-09-2006, 08:48 PM
Moms want their children to drink their milk. Not because it keeps bones strong. But because if they don't - Tedy Bruschi will kill them.

scorpio
01-09-2006, 08:49 PM
Oh man Sideburn keep em coming!!
He's just going down a list that somebody else made about Chuck Norris and replacing it with 'Teddy Bruschi'.

Of course, that's pretty much what we're all doing to a certain degree, but the rest of us kept it going and didn't whore it out wholesale in 3 posts

Kaylore
01-09-2006, 08:50 PM
Moms want their children to drink their milk. Not because it keeps bones strong. But because if they don't - Tedy Bruschi will kill them. LOL

Kaylore
01-09-2006, 08:51 PM
He's just going down a list that somebody else made about Chuck Norris and replacing it with 'Teddy Bruschi'.

Of course, that's pretty much what we're all doing to a certain degree, but the rest of us kept it going and didn't whore it out wholesale in 3 posts
My story was original, thank you very much. :approve:

Florida_Bronco
01-09-2006, 08:52 PM
He's just going down a list that somebody else made about Chuck Norris and replacing it with 'Teddy Bruschi'.

Of course, that's pretty much what we're all doing to a certain degree, but the rest of us kept it going and didn't whore it out wholesale in 3 posts

Well I've never read alot of this before, but come on man, you gotta admit this is funny as hell!

For the record, I figured it was pry copy and pasted from somewhere, but who cares! This is awesome ****.

Sideburn
01-09-2006, 08:52 PM
He's just going down a list that somebody else made about Chuck Norris and replacing it with 'Teddy Bruschi'.

Of course, that's pretty much what we're all doing to a certain degree, but the rest of us kept it going and didn't whore it out wholesale in 3 posts
Don't be angry because I'm efficient.

Billy Clyde Puckett
01-09-2006, 08:53 PM
Paul Bunyon is really the story of Tedy Bruschi ...they names were changed at request of Tedy Bruschi ...because sometimes...it's not all about Tedy Bruschi.


Paul Bunyan is Teddy's Biatch.

Rulon Velvet Jones
01-09-2006, 08:54 PM
Paul Bunyan is Teddy's Biatch.

You spelled "Tedy" with 2 D's.

Death is in your near future.

Bronco Bob
01-09-2006, 09:00 PM
Hurricanes Katrina and Rita were caused after Tedy Bruschi had eaten Boston Baked Beans dinners.

Bronx33
01-09-2006, 09:00 PM
Paul Bunyan is Teddy's Biatch.


So was the OX...

Garcia Bronco
01-09-2006, 09:03 PM
I remember growing up terrified of the Bruschi Man.

watermock
01-09-2006, 09:04 PM
my Granny's house burnt down and Ted Bruschi built it back in 18 hours. With a hot tub.

Sideburn
01-09-2006, 09:11 PM
God didn't create Adam and Eve. God created Adam and Tedy Bruschi. Tedy tackled Adam so hard, that Adam's rib broke off causing it to strike the ground. The Force of impact was so great, that Eve was created.

DHallblows
01-09-2006, 09:16 PM
Kevin Sorbo once passed Tedy Bruschi in the park and said, "Hey, nice beard" sarcastically. Tedy Bruschi became angry, and super tackled Sorbo. Astonishingly, Sorbo got back up after such a mighty blow. This further angered Tedy Bruschi to the point where he ripped out Sorbo's jaw, sodomized him with an ice cream cone, and ate his flesh in front of many children. This event has been commemorated with a limited-edition dinner plate and later became the basis for the television show "Grace Under Fire".

DHallblows
01-09-2006, 09:17 PM
Not to be outdone by the popularity of Marky Mark's third nipple, Tedy Bruschi willed into creation a magical teat located just to the right of his belly button that generates a stream of crude oil whenever Tedy hears the song "Good Vibrations".

DHallblows
01-09-2006, 09:25 PM
Tedy Bruschi TKOed Mike Tyson in Nintendo's Mike Tyson's Punchout on the first try. It was so easy that after he did it he murdered a puppy.

DHallblows
01-09-2006, 09:26 PM
The medical procedure known as a "C Section" was invented after Tedy Bruschi's mother ate sweet tarts, or "****** food" as he calls it, while preganant with him.

terry251973
01-09-2006, 09:26 PM
damn my insides are hurting.you guys should be comedians.Hilarious!

DHallblows
01-09-2006, 09:28 PM
Sorry if any of mine were repeats, I saw all the Chuck Norris jokes, and skipped pages 2 and 3.

Garcia Bronco
01-09-2006, 09:33 PM
Scientists contend that a deep impact brought about the extinction of the Dinosaurs...but legend has that they upset Tedy Bruschi, and those reptiles had to pay!

Bronx33
01-09-2006, 09:34 PM
Tedy sends you your public service bills and likes it.

Garcia Bronco
01-09-2006, 09:34 PM
Tedy Bruschi is a Jedi

Garcia Bronco
01-09-2006, 09:36 PM
You know that charge on your phone bill...the Universal Tax....yeah...that's actually the Tedy Bruschi Tax...goes right in his pocket.

terry251973
01-09-2006, 09:36 PM
Tedy Bruschi is a Jedi
bruschi invented the force much less mastered it.

watermock
01-09-2006, 09:56 PM
Bruschi will be the the first man on Mars. He will design, build and navigate the craft from implants into his massive groin power. He will then don a jet pack and rocket back in a self contained spacesuit, pop a chute and paraglide into the SuperBowl during the national Anthem with some martian taped to his back he terminated for science sake.

Sideburn
01-09-2006, 10:00 PM
Bruschi will be the the first man on Mars. He will design, build and navigate the craft from implants into his massive brain power. He will then don a jet pack and rocket back in a self contained spacesuit.
Mars was created when a chunk of venus broke off while Tedy Bruschi was using Venus and Earth as a klacker.

BlaK-Argentina
01-09-2006, 10:05 PM
This thread is gold, Jerry! Gold!

watermock
01-09-2006, 10:10 PM
People can laugh all they want.

This is all true.

watermock
01-09-2006, 10:16 PM
Bruschi travelled back in time to save President Kennedy. He jumped in front of the Magic Bullet and destroyed it with his pecs. Kennedy was so amazed, his head exploded.

Oh Jesus. I was going back thru the thread. I know it's wrong but absolutely slayed me. Twice. Isn't here a law against killing someone with a joke twice?

Garcia Bronco
01-09-2006, 10:17 PM
I'm still terrified of the Bruschi Man

watermock
01-09-2006, 10:18 PM
It's rumored that Bruschi's twin brother was left in the woods and may be the infamous BigFoot.

DHallblows
01-09-2006, 11:02 PM
When Chuck Norris learned that Tedy Bruschi was being compared to him, he hunted him down, and roundhouse kicked Bruschi in the face...thread over.

nwmsu-bronco
01-09-2006, 11:05 PM
The only thing bigger than Teddy Bruschi is the Universe. And that's only because the universe is made up of 90% Tedy Bruschi, and 10% toys for Tedy Bruschi to play with.

Tedy Bruschi carries around a sack of kittens to eat when he has the munchies.

Tedy Bruschi is so important that he sneezed and the Universe was born.

WABronco
01-09-2006, 11:09 PM
Chuck Norris has 2 speeds - walk and kill.

God wanted 10 days to create the Earth. Tedy Bruschi gave him 6.

Every year on his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Tedy Bruschi isn't hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Tedy Bruschi.

That's some funny stuff bro...

Walk and kill, bahahaha!:~ohyah!:

Orange4ever
01-09-2006, 11:10 PM
Tedy Bruschi is my dad and my mom!

TheDave
01-09-2006, 11:35 PM
Damn this is some of the funniest $hit i have ever read... must of been written by Teddy Bruschi

TomServo
01-09-2006, 11:56 PM
click here http://www.ubersite.com/m/11885 and substitute tedy bruschi for bill brasky. the skit is too huge to c&p. enjoy. funny as hell. some pple must have remember some individual remarks about bill brasky.

-Slap-
01-10-2006, 12:03 AM
Of course, my memories of events are hazy, it was the day I nearly slipped from this mortal coil. I remember strong hands pulling me to safety, his regal gaze as it fell upon me. Then, just a glimpse of what appeared to be tiny vestigial wings on his ankles, and he disappeared back into the Heavens.

dlow187
01-10-2006, 12:09 AM
Ted gave tom brady those damn good looks

dlow187
01-10-2006, 12:10 AM
while he was droppin a deuce

PatsWin2002
01-10-2006, 12:26 AM
Of course, my memories of events are hazy, it was the day I nearly slipped from this mortal coil. I remember strong hands pulling me to safety, his regal gaze as it fell upon me. Then, just a glimpse of what appeared to be tiny vestigial wings on his ankles, and he disappeared back into the Heavens.

Sounds like it's right out of a trashy paperback novel.......:giggle:

24champ
01-10-2006, 12:53 AM
****Update on Tedy****

http://patriots.bostonherald.com/patriots/view.bg?articleid=120386

FOXBORO - Patriots linebacker Tedy Bruschi sat out last night’s 28-3 win over the Jaguars, apparently still hampered by a calf injury.
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0><TBODY><TR><TD height=8><SPACER height="8" width="8" type="block"></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE> Bruschi tested his injured left calf around 6:15 under the watchful eye of trainer Jim Whalen and strength coach Mike Woicik. He ran a series of cuts before shaking his head and leaving the field with a slight limp.

Popps
01-10-2006, 01:01 AM
Great stuff all around.

Dr. Broncenstein
01-10-2006, 05:32 AM
I once made the mistake of telling Ted Bruschi that we were out of liver.... my side hurts and my skin is yellow.

Billy Clyde Puckett
01-10-2006, 05:58 AM
Tedy laughs at the legend of Don Imus's third jewel. He has six.

Drek
01-10-2006, 07:27 AM
The Bruschi update is false, created by Bruschi. It should read:

FOXBORO - Patriots linebacker Tedy Bruschi sat out last night’s 28-3 win over the Jaguars, apparently still hampered by a calf injury.
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody><tr><td height="8"><spacer type="block" height="8" width="8"></td></tr></tbody></table> Bruschi tested his injured left calf around 6:15 under the watchful eye of trainer Jim Whalen and strength coach Mike Woicik. He ran a series of cuts before shaking his head, realizing that the world was not yet ready for his awesomeness reborn at full speed, and delegated the slaughter of the Jaguars to his apostles, St. Tom, St. Troy, St. Deon, St. David, St. Richard, St. Vince, St. Mike, St. Corey, St. Adam, St. Ty, St. Asante, and St. Rosevelt. Yes, Jesus stole the ideal of 12 apostles from Bruschi, however, Bruschi forgave the transgression saying "thou shalt not forgive thy brother seven times but 54 times", refering the the holy number 54, for in it is the alpha and the omega, all that ever has been and all that ever shall be, the symbol of the all mighty Bruschi. When Jesus ripped this off too, misquoting in the process (77? please), Bruschi crusified him, brought him back from the dead, and round house kicked him into heaven.

As Bruschi left the field Saturday night he reportedly wispered quietly "On the 14th of January I shall shepard my children through the Dove Valley of darkness, protect them from the tyrany of horse men that wish to temp and destroy my children, then they will know that my name is the Bruschi, and they shall worship at my new holy mountain." Thus it was spoken, thus it was decreed, the Broncos have no chance on Saturday, as everyone knows.

Rulon Velvet Jones
01-10-2006, 07:50 AM
Tedy Bruschi's legs don't have calves. He has bulls. And they kill on command.

GonzoLays
01-10-2006, 07:55 AM
This is the greatest thread ever! Too funny.

fontaine
01-10-2006, 07:58 AM
Tedy Bruschi's legs don't have calves. He has bulls. And they kill on command.

Hilarious! ROFL!

Rock Chalk
01-10-2006, 08:12 AM
Sounds like it's right out of a trashy paperback novel.......:giggle:
It was the "regal gaze" bit.

BroncosCanada
01-10-2006, 08:25 AM
Tedy is having sex with my buddy's Mom right now.

bendog
01-10-2006, 09:02 AM
I wish I was a woman so I could have sex with Tedy too.

scorpio
01-10-2006, 09:07 AM
Bruschi came to my BBQ last summer, ate all the red hot charcoal out of the grill and then proceeded to crap out large diamonds for the ladies in the crowd.




.

Taco John
01-10-2006, 10:23 AM
Teddy Bruschi is definitely spongeworthy.

Sideburn
01-10-2006, 10:25 AM
Tedy Bruschi once answered the question of "Could Tedy Bruschi microwave a burrito so hot, that even Tedy Bruschi couldn't eat it." The answer was no. Tedy Bruschi can eat the nukiest of the nuked foods.

Taco John
01-10-2006, 10:27 AM
When Chuck Norris learned that Tedy Bruschi was being compared to him, he hunted him down, and roundhouse kicked Bruschi in the face...thread over.



If Chuck Norris even dreams about roundhouse kicking Teddy to the face, he wakes up and apologizes.

Taco John
01-10-2006, 10:29 AM
When Teddy Bruschi built his house, he started by eating rocks and drinking water. Once he poured the entire foundation of the house through his colon , he got started on the subflooring.

BroncosCanada
01-10-2006, 10:29 AM
Tedy Bruschi is under my desk right right now...this guy is everywhere.

bendog
01-10-2006, 10:31 AM
Tedy's dog used to pick up his own ****, but the neighbors asked Tedy to please have the dog **** in their yards cause the **** smells so good and works better than miracle grow.

Bronx33
01-10-2006, 10:32 AM
Tedy helped me pull some old nails out of my fence without a hammer then put new ones in without a hammer.

Mile High Shack
01-10-2006, 10:33 AM
Tedy Bruschi once answered the question of "Could Tedy Bruschi microwave a burrito so hot, that even Tedy Bruschi couldn't eat it." The answer was no. Tedy Bruschi can eat the nukiest of the nuked foods.

Teddy Bruschi is the definition of Nuclear Fission, he can supply enough energy to light up Boston for the next 500 years

BMF Bronco
01-10-2006, 10:35 AM
Greatest thread ever!

Bronx33
01-10-2006, 10:37 AM
Tedy rotated the tires on the OF1 without a jack.

Taco John
01-10-2006, 10:38 AM
Using Teddy Bruschi's manure won my Tomatoes the Grand Prize Ribbon at the State Fair. Using it for a cereal topping makes my breakfast experience like a taste of heaven every morning. When I can afford it, that is...

Taco John
01-10-2006, 10:41 AM
They tried to put Teddy Bruschi on steroids. It made him weaker. Briefly.

Victor
01-10-2006, 10:41 AM
Tedy is currently in Isreal leading the team of physicians treating the stroke of Prime Minister Ariel Sharon.

scorpio
01-10-2006, 10:44 AM
Bruschi once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Taco John
01-10-2006, 10:48 AM
Teddy Bruschi doesn't have roofing on his house. At night, he heads up to the attic and sleeps on his stomach to keep everything safe and dry.

Odysseus
01-10-2006, 11:59 AM
Tedy rotated the tires on the OF1 without a jack.

Tedy Bruschi did the same thing with an up armored humvee, a 5 ton truck and two range rovers in 140 degrees heat without gloves. The radiator had a leak on one of the vehicles. Tedy did a snot blast to seal it.

MadCity
01-10-2006, 12:09 PM
It's Tedy Bruschi's world, we are merely occupying space in it.

scorpio
01-10-2006, 12:11 PM
It's Tedy Bruschi's world, we are merely occupying space in it.

Tedy Bruschi is an angry and vengeful god

Spider
01-10-2006, 12:14 PM
Ha! I could kick Tedy Bruschi áss ........

MadCity
01-10-2006, 12:15 PM
Tedy Bruschi is an angry and vengeful god

And the rent is ridiculous. However, the alternative is to be designated prey by Tedy Bruschi. This has happened 11 times in the history of man. Each time, the victims spine was snapped by the most perfect form tackle ever.

scorpio
01-10-2006, 12:15 PM
Ha! I could kick Tedy Bruschi áss ........

OMG, you did NOT just say that.



HE DIDN'T MEAN IT TEDY!!

MadCity
01-10-2006, 12:16 PM
Ha! I could kick Tedy Bruschi áss ........

HERETIC!!!!!!

http://www.moonbattery.com/archives/invasion2.jpg

Mile High Shack
01-10-2006, 12:17 PM
Ha! I could kick Tedy Bruschi áss ........

dude,

Bruschi is going to shoot you with some mind bullets

Bronx33
01-10-2006, 12:18 PM
Ha! I could kick Tedy Bruschi áss ........


Ok now i have to kill a chicken to undo what you have done BRB i will run out to brighton and get a chicken to sacrifice.

watermock
01-10-2006, 12:19 PM
Teddy Bruschi kept atomic bombs from burning off the atmosphere.

Taco John
01-10-2006, 12:19 PM
At night, Tedy flaps his arms to fly to pull over the dark tapestry to cover the sun. To comfort us as we sleep, he pokes holes in the taestry to make the dazzling spectacle that we primitively know as "stars."

Odysseus
01-10-2006, 12:20 PM
Ha! I could kick Tedy Bruschi áss ........

You only say this because you know Tedy Bruschi is never coming to Wyoming. :)

Odysseus
01-10-2006, 12:23 PM
Teddy Bruschi kept atomic bombs from burning off the atmosphere.

Tedy Bruschi is a vengeful spelling god. That extra D in his name is going to cost you an eye and a broken arm.

watermock
01-10-2006, 12:24 PM
You only say this because you know Tedy Bruschi is never coming to Wyoming. :)

Teddy has agents in every state. Be afraid....very afraid.

terry251973
01-10-2006, 12:25 PM
Watch what you say.Its common knowledge that bruschi knows all and sees all.He will see this on this forum and go hulk on us all and tear our lungs out and place them inside the bodies of emphysema patients and give them new life.

watermock
01-10-2006, 12:28 PM
Kneels down for forgiveness for the extra D.

Forgive me Tedy!

Sideburn
01-10-2006, 12:28 PM
When Chuck Norris learned that Tedy Bruschi was being compared to him, he hunted him down, and roundhouse kicked Bruschi in the face...thread over.
sigh...you have been wambuzzled by the Norris crowd. What really happened was this...

...Tedy Bruschi was having an argument with himself (he can only argue with himself, the mere notion of arguing with a common pleab is poppycock) when he got mad and super tackled himself so hard, that he caused a riff in time thus propelling him back to 1940. While there, he built a cyborg. He named this cyborg Chuck Norris.

GonzoLays
01-10-2006, 12:29 PM
http://www.thepostgame.com/images/teddyBruschi.jpg

Teddy Brushci: The only man in the history of professional football to play with three fingers.

Kaylore
01-10-2006, 12:31 PM
Ha! I could kick Tedy Bruschi áss ........
Spider!!! NOOOOOO!!!

watermock
01-10-2006, 12:31 PM
Someone should email Lord Brushci and show him this thread. But you better include a beheaded chicken.

Bronx33
01-10-2006, 12:32 PM
http://www.orangemane.com/BB/attachment.php?attachmentid=14353&stc=1&d=1136921470

LMAO!

Spider
01-10-2006, 12:33 PM
I love this thread ..........:devil:

Rulon Velvet Jones
01-10-2006, 12:36 PM
Tedy's name is spelled with one D, because the other one gave him attitude so he dropped it with a roundhouse.

The other D left to become the '85 Bears defense.

Sideburn
01-10-2006, 12:36 PM
Before meeting up in a battle with Tedy Bruschi, Spider was an English professor at Oxford...

Dr. Broncenstein
01-10-2006, 12:36 PM
This morning Teddy ate 50 pounds of raw sausage and washed it down with a keg of Old Milwakee....

watermock
01-10-2006, 12:37 PM
http://www.orangemane.com/BB/attachment.php?attachmentid=14353&stc=1&d=1136921470

Man, this thread has slayed me at least 5 times. It's the funniest ever.

Spider
01-10-2006, 12:39 PM
LMAO ..some kick ass post ...Spider was an english proffesor @ oxford ( where ever that is ) , Killing a chicken , the picture .........

Bronx33
01-10-2006, 12:40 PM
LMAO ..some kick ass post ...Spider was an english proffesor @ oxford ( where ever that is ) , Killing a chicken , the picture .........


HOPEFULLY YOUR ALIVE THIS TIME TOMORROW..

watermock
01-10-2006, 12:41 PM
I think we are ready to go to war now.

Spider
01-10-2006, 12:42 PM
HOPEFULLY YOUR ALIVE THIS TIME TOMORROW..
LOL ........ Tedy still owes me $40.00

watermock
01-10-2006, 12:42 PM
Oxford is some shoe company. Spider just is a shoe salesman. Ha!

Spider
01-10-2006, 12:44 PM
Oxford is some shoe company. Spider just is a shoe salesman. Ha!
Just call me Al ;D

Bronx33
01-10-2006, 12:44 PM
LOL ........ Tedy still owes me $40.00

Tedy tells you when he owes you, not the other way around.

Mile High Shack
01-10-2006, 12:44 PM
LOL ........ Tedy still owes me $40.00

Tedy invented the modern day monetary system after people started running out of children to sacrifice to his altar

Spider
01-10-2006, 12:45 PM
Lol

scorpio
01-10-2006, 12:49 PM
Tedy invented the modern day monetary system after people started running out of children to sacrifice to his altar


But he still uses virgin girls as currency

bendog
01-10-2006, 12:49 PM
Tedy's dog not only fetches, he also catches the ball before it ever hits the ground AND throws it to himself.

Odysseus
01-10-2006, 01:00 PM
Tedy Bruschi got Belichick his job in New England and taught him everything he knows about football. Tedy was never drafted in 1996. He chose the Patriots.

His 27 career sacks is an aberration. He actually has well over 100. The other 73 he let other players take credit for. His 18 fumble recoveries? That number is wrong too. He should be credited for 52. The only reason the Patriots don't have 5 Superbowls is Tedy didn't want the NFL to disband due to a lack of competition. The league did not argue with Tedy.

Tedy Bruschi is a man among boys and we should be so honored that he would even come to Denver and play in our fair stadium.

Bronx33
01-10-2006, 01:01 PM
But he still uses virgin girls as currency


Only to make change though...

Odysseus
01-10-2006, 01:05 PM
Ok now i have to kill a chicken to undo what you have done BRB i will run out to brighton and get a chicken to sacrifice.

The only reason Tedy Bruschi hasn't done anything so far is he is waiting for three more people in Wyoming to F up and then he's clearing out the whole state and letting it revert to wilderness.

Paladin
01-10-2006, 01:06 PM
Before meeting up in a battle with Tedy Bruschi, Spider was an English professor at Oxford...

Now he sings alto in a Womens' Choir in Two Sleep, Wyoming.

bendog
01-10-2006, 01:06 PM
Tedy invented the modern day monetary system after people started running out of children to sacrifice to his altar
Actually, God told Tedy to prove his love by sacraficing his eldest male child, but Teddy showed God a better way.

Garcia Bronco
01-10-2006, 01:07 PM
Tedy Bruschi celebrates each afternoon with a pint.......


......Of Jim Beam

bendog
01-10-2006, 01:08 PM
Tedy Bruschi celebrates each afternoon with a pint.......


......Of Jim Beam

And still drives home under the limit.

Spider
01-10-2006, 01:12 PM
Now he sings alto in a Womens' Choir in Two Sleep, Wyoming.
;D That would be ten sleep

Spider
01-10-2006, 01:13 PM
The only reason Tedy Bruschi hasn't done anything so far is he is waiting for three more people in Wyoming to F up and then he's clearing out the whole state and letting it revert to wilderness.
Ha!

RaiderH8r
01-10-2006, 01:18 PM
dude,

Bruschi is going to shoot you with some mind bullets
That's telekenesis Kyle.

Tedy Bruschi makes girls orgasm simply by pointing at them and saying, "Booya".

Paladin
01-10-2006, 01:19 PM
;D That would be ten sleep


Nope. You can't make it more then two sleep. Nothing there.


BTW. Been there. Best thing in Ten Sleep is the road out of town..... The scenery is relatively nice, though.

bendog
01-10-2006, 01:20 PM
When Tedy goes trout fishing, he just walks over the stream and the fish jump out onto the bank, then the commit hari kari, jump back in and clean themselves, and then jump back out into Tedy's kit.

Spider
01-10-2006, 01:21 PM
Nope. You can't make it more then two sleep. Nothing there.
LOL ...touche

RaiderH8r
01-10-2006, 01:25 PM
Could Tedy Bruschi microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?

scorpio
01-10-2006, 01:30 PM
;D That would be ten sleep
I grew up just down the hill from Ten Sleep. Not much more than a gas station. I love Wyoming. :sunshine:


edit: Oh, and Tedy Bruschi single-handedly populated the entire state of Wyoming with his bastard children

Odysseus
01-10-2006, 01:32 PM
That's telekenesis Kyle.

Tedy Bruschi makes girls orgasm simply by pointing at them and saying, "Booya".

Adam Vinnie isn't really that good of a field goal kicker. Tedy Bruschi is actually making those go through.

Spider
01-10-2006, 01:32 PM
I grew up just down the hill from Ten Sleep. Not much more than a gas station. I love Wyoming. :sunshine:;D ten days by foot or 17 days by chevy ;D


edit: Oh, and Tedy Bruschi single-handedly populated the entire state of Wyoming with his bastard children
LOL........... hey!!!!!!!!!!!

Mile High Shack
01-10-2006, 01:33 PM
Tedy Bruschi once answered the question of "Could Tedy Bruschi microwave a burrito so hot, that even Tedy Bruschi couldn't eat it." The answer was no. Tedy Bruschi can eat the nukiest of the nuked foods.

RaiderHr8

Sidey answered this question for us

RaiderH8r
01-10-2006, 01:34 PM
Adam Vinnie isn't really that good of a field goal kicker. Tedy Bruschi is actually making those go through.
Tedy Bruschi dares the ball to miss. The ball is scared.

Garcia Bronco
01-10-2006, 01:37 PM
Legend has it the John was going to name the last book of the Bible... Tedy Bruschi.

Garcia Bronco
01-10-2006, 01:41 PM
Tedy Bruschi's orignal name used to be Pete Best.

watermock
01-10-2006, 01:47 PM
Tedy chewed an ice cube and stopped global warming.Of course, hey, we are into the new ice age, but those are the breaks.

bendog
01-10-2006, 01:48 PM
Tedy donated both his kidneys to a dying kid, and then grew new ones.

TheManeMan
01-10-2006, 01:59 PM
This thread must get into the ring of fame...

Hilarious! Hilarious!

RaiderH8r
01-10-2006, 02:08 PM
When E.F Hutton talks, Tedy Bruschi Super Tackles them and says, "Nobody fvcks with Tedy Time"

Old Dude
01-10-2006, 02:10 PM
This thread is like a black hole of reverse karma.

Only Tedy Bruschi could survive it.

RaiderH8r
01-10-2006, 02:11 PM
Tedy Bruschi created the Grand Canyon when he decided there was "Just too much sh!t in the way."

SJ Bronco
01-10-2006, 02:15 PM
You guys need to stop, I can't stop laughing and my athsma is killing me!

RaiderH8r
01-10-2006, 02:16 PM
You guys need to stop, I can't stop laughing and my athsma is killing me!
Tedy Bruschi had asthma once. He told it to fvck off and it pissed itself and ran away. Tedy Bruschi can cure your asthma.

bombquixote
01-10-2006, 02:35 PM
at bedtime, god prays to tedy bruschi.

spider, before and after gazing too long upon that which is too great and omnipotent be known by any mortal mind, that which we can only call the Tedy Bruschi (amen).

bombquixote
01-10-2006, 02:37 PM
Buddha asked Tedy Bruschi how to do it.

bendog
01-10-2006, 02:41 PM
Tedy was going to star in the new superman movie, but first they told him he couldn't do his own stunts and then that they would make him work with the special effects guys, so he turned the role down.

RaiderH8r
01-10-2006, 02:41 PM
The dinosaurs are extinct because Tedy Bruschi was tired of stepping in Mastodon Dung and went on a super tackling rampage. The United Nations now has a team of Oompa Loompas walk in front of Tedy Bruschi cleaning poo out of his path. Midgets make Tedy Bruschi laugh so he lets them do it.

Rohirrim
01-10-2006, 02:44 PM
Jesus turned one loaf into thousands and fed the multitudes.

Tedy turned them into thousands of brats!

Rohirrim
01-10-2006, 02:45 PM
Tedy Bruschi created the Grand Canyon when he decided there was "Just too much sh!t in the way."

LOL

RaiderH8r
01-10-2006, 02:45 PM
Bullet proof vests are woven from Tedy Bruschi's butt hair.

Sean
01-10-2006, 02:47 PM
Legend has it that on one fine Sunday afternoon, a young and proud Vikings fan stepped into a pub with a couple of his friends to watch the Vikings game. The first thing this young fan does upon entering this rather seedy establishment is to boisterously order up a round of brewskis for himself and his friends.

Little did the young man realize that the actual Tedy Bruschi was sitting at the bar, and upon hearing his name used in such an injudicious and appalling manner, Tedy turned and grinned like the devil at the terrified young man, and then made a lunging motion, as if he were about to Super Tackle the kid.

Well, the poor Vikings fan peed his parachute pants on the spot and his brain instantly atrophied. Today, we all know this shell of a once proud Vikings fan as the rambling bitter drunk with a penchant for kittens and a lust for his own family members, yes folks ... this young Vikings fan was none other than our very own Watermock.

Merlin
01-10-2006, 02:48 PM
Tedy once fell into a lave pit... He almost drowned.

GonzoLays
01-10-2006, 02:50 PM
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son Tedy Bruschi, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

bendog
01-10-2006, 02:52 PM
Tedy's handling of the dinosaur poop problem is why the earth hasn't been hit by an Asteroid. Asteroid's are scared of him.

RaiderH8r
01-10-2006, 02:54 PM
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son Tedy Bruschi, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Unless they piss Tedy Bruschi off. Then Tedy Bruschi gives them a super tackle so hard their soul dissipates and they're fvcked.

Thunderstruck
01-10-2006, 02:55 PM
Speaking of poop, Tedy let one go and created an All-Pro MLB in Denver...Thank you sir, may we have another?!

bendog
01-10-2006, 02:56 PM
Tedy doesn't use contraceptives cause sperm and eggs are afraid to do anything he doesn't want them to do.

RaiderH8r
01-10-2006, 02:56 PM
Tedy's handling of the dinosaur poop problem is why the earth hasn't been hit by an Asteroid. Asteroid's are scared of him.
Rain doesn't fall on Tedy Bruschi, it falls around him. Tedy Bruschi hates rain.

Dr. Broncenstein
01-10-2006, 02:56 PM
Tedy brushes his teeth with ajax and a brillo pad...

RaiderH8r
01-10-2006, 02:57 PM
Tedy Bruschi likes asbestos on his Wheaties. Tedy Bruschi stays regular like that.

Old Dude
01-10-2006, 02:58 PM
Tedy's handling of the dinosaur poop problem is why the earth hasn't been hit by an Asteroid. Asteroid's are scared of him.

But he killed the dinosaurs to make himself a thong.

Thunderstruck
01-10-2006, 03:03 PM
Mount Bruschi preparing to erupt on the poor, unsuspecting souls of Invesco.

http://wordpress.twistshow.com/wp-images/TedyBruschi.jpg

bendog
01-10-2006, 03:06 PM
But he killed the dinosaurs to make himself a thong.
And it's too small.

Bronx33
01-10-2006, 03:08 PM
http://wordpress.twistshow.com/wp-images/TedyBruschi.jpg

Papa smurf howling at the moon before the kill

RaiderH8r
01-10-2006, 03:08 PM
And it's too small.
Going back to, "Tedy Bruschi isn't hung like a horse, horses are hung like Tedi Bruschi."

Victor
01-10-2006, 03:09 PM
Tedy Bruschi laughs at health issues...after kicking his strokes ass, he's decided to have a heart attack in summers 2006, colitis in 2007 and follow that up with liver flukes in 2008. He's going to whip them all and come back stronger and still play till he's 45.

Then he's going to Dance with the Stars and kick Jerry Rice's ass.

:strong:

RaiderH8r
01-10-2006, 03:14 PM
Tedy Bruschi laughs at health issues...after kicking his strokes ass, he's decided to have a heart attack in summers 2006, colitis in 2007 and follow that up with liver flukes in 2008. He's going to whip them all and come back stronger and still play till he's 45.

Then he's going to Dance with the Stars and kick Jerry Rice's ass.

:strong:
Tedy Bruschi doesn't dance, he boogies. And when Tedy Bruschi boogies the room moves around Tedy Bruschi.

Bronx33
01-10-2006, 03:18 PM
Tedy Bruschi shaves with a sharp rock..

FADERPROOF
01-10-2006, 03:20 PM
That was not an act of God that saved Vincent and Jules in the movie Pulp Fiction, it was Ted Bruschi that deflected all of the bullets.

bendog
01-10-2006, 03:21 PM
Tedy Bruschi shaves with a sharp rock..

So that's what happened to the Ozark Mtn Range

Spider
01-10-2006, 03:21 PM
If Bruschi steals Tom Bradys Visa card , will the Metaphores Protect Brady ?

Taco John
01-10-2006, 03:22 PM
We refer to it as boating. Tedy likes to call it "swimming with people on my back."

watermock
01-10-2006, 03:27 PM
What amazes me are that there are so many closet comeidans.

I'm honstlly out of takes.

DomCasual
01-10-2006, 03:28 PM
Tedy Bruschi was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "awesomeness." Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Tedy omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
Who could make something like that up? That's pure genius!

RaiderH8r
01-10-2006, 03:28 PM
What amazes me are that there are so many closet comeidans.

I'm honstlly out of takes.
Tedy Bruschi is amused.

Mile High Shack
01-10-2006, 03:35 PM
Tedy Bruschi is amused.

Bruschi doesn't laugh, when he is amused he thunders down from Mt. Olympus creating various anamolies in the weather pattern

Taco John
01-10-2006, 03:36 PM
How many Tedy Bruschi's does it take to change a light bulb?

One... to kick your ass for asking the question, scoop your ass up, put a lightbulb in your hand, and throw your ass up on a chair to get it done.

Hotrod
01-10-2006, 03:41 PM
This has to atleast get HOF consideration Ha!

BroncosCanada
01-10-2006, 03:45 PM
Tedy Bruschi sleeps on a bed of nails...and then eats it for breakfast.

TheDave
01-10-2006, 03:47 PM
Tedy Bruschi sleeps on a bed of nails...and then eats it for breakfast.


Rember, Tedi Bruschi does not sleep...He waits.

BroncosCanada
01-10-2006, 03:49 PM
Rember, Tedi Bruschi does not sleep...He waits.

He pretends to sleep, to show sleep challenged children how to do it.

Mile High Shack
01-10-2006, 03:50 PM
Rember, Tedi Bruschi does not sleep...He waits.

gods do not need sleep

Thunderstruck
01-10-2006, 03:51 PM
Who could make something like that up? That's pure genius!

Dan Brown? Pierre Plantard? Dianne Sawyer?^5

Mile High Shack
01-10-2006, 03:54 PM
Dan Brown? Pierre Plantard? Dianne Sawyer?^5

Bruschi doesn't watch the news

Bruschi IS the news

Thunderstruck
01-10-2006, 03:57 PM
Bruschi doesn't watch the news

Bruschi IS the news

Bruschi: Dianne Sawyer? Yeah, I f**ked her...OH!

Taco John
01-10-2006, 04:05 PM
This has to atleast get HOF consideration Ha!


Actually, Tedy won't allow that. He demands we rename this place www.TedyBruschi.com, and move all peripheral discussion (stuff not about him) to the Butt.

scorpio
01-10-2006, 04:09 PM
Crop circles are Bruschi's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fvck down.

Taco John
01-10-2006, 04:10 PM
I heard Tom Brady say that when he grows up, he want's to be just like Tedy.

scorpio
01-10-2006, 04:11 PM
FACT: The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Tedy Bruschi played in second grade.

watermock
01-10-2006, 04:26 PM
Actually, Tedy shaves his balls with a sharp rock.

nwmsu-bronco
01-10-2006, 04:34 PM
Tedy Bruschi is so powerful, he doesn't play football on Sundays, he simply looks backward through the tv cameras to keep an eye on his people.

Taco John
01-10-2006, 04:34 PM
Tedy Bruschi doesn't use a toilet. He tells the White Gloved Man from the Smithsonian who waits around in his bathroom that he's ready to donate another specimen.

scorpio
01-10-2006, 04:40 PM
Tedy Bruschi invented champagne when he urinated in a wine bottle

Garcia Bronco
01-10-2006, 04:46 PM
It's common knowledge that the scene from the end of Superman the Movie is loosely based on the time when Tedy Bruschi was denied the big piece of chicken by an ambitious dinner guest. He proceeded to turn time back by reversing the earth's rotation and melted the guest's sternum with fire bolts from his eye…his left eye.

watermock
01-10-2006, 04:54 PM
Chuck Norris gets tired of the disrespect and gives Bruschi a roundhouse kick.

Odysseus
01-10-2006, 05:08 PM
Chuck Norris gets tires of the disrespect and gives Bruschi a roundhouse kick.

Quit whiffing your cat's ass! Tedy Bruschi is going to give you a round house kick to your spleen and then use your face to chop wood for saying that.

Everybody knows that Tedy Bruschi does all of Chuck's stunts. Chuck is held together by hair color, Viagra and his agent's pen.

Taco John
01-10-2006, 06:55 PM
Famous Tedy Bruschi quote:

"Here Atlas, I'm done juggling."

Dr. Broncenstein
01-10-2006, 07:32 PM
Some people have bits of nuts in their crap....

Tedy craps whole walnuts....

watermock
01-10-2006, 08:10 PM
Tedy doesn't just eat his Wheaties, he devours boxes whole. Now that's getting your fiber.

KillerBronco#76
01-10-2006, 08:11 PM
Tedy sleeps with a nightlight on not because he's afraid of the dark but because the dark is a afraid of him.

Bronco Vixen
01-10-2006, 08:11 PM
who is this unsung hero of which you all speak?

i really haven't heard that much about him...

Taco John
01-10-2006, 08:12 PM
Tedy is going to kill me for this new smilie: :patstink:

Sgt Sauce
01-10-2006, 08:14 PM
In the offseason Teddy Brusci signs up for beginner's karate classes just so he can beat the **** out of little children

elsid13
01-10-2006, 08:18 PM
If Teddy wanted it there would be world peace, but he enjoy giving ass kicking to much for that to happen.

scorpio
01-10-2006, 09:07 PM
Did I ever tell you about the time Tedy Bruschi sold me into slavery?

-Slap-
01-10-2006, 10:15 PM
Most popular boys names 2001-2005: Tedy Bruschi

Most popular girls names 2001-2005: Tedy Bruschi

DHallblows
01-10-2006, 10:43 PM
Chuck Norris gets tired of the disrespect and gives Bruschi a roundhouse kick.

What have I been telling you?! Tedy Bruschi is dead, Chuck Norris gave him a roundhouse kick to the face as soon as this thread was started. Actually that's a lie, Bruschi was finished off BEFORE Rulon Velvet Jones even thought of this thread.

DHallblows
01-10-2006, 10:44 PM
You just wait, he won't be playing this Saturday.

DomCasual
01-10-2006, 11:24 PM
Tedy is going to kill me for this new smilie: :patstink:
Man, it took you awhile to get on the smilie wagon. But I'll give you this - once you get on, you are all on! :thanku: