View Full Version : Did you know...
clint7
09-28-2005, 11:52 AM
A CHILD CUSTODY FIRST
A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a courtroom drama today
when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The
boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge
initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody
law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the
degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him
more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.
When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the
boy cried out that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning
that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the
judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who
should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child
welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the
Oakland Raiders, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
:)
Billy Clyde Puckett
09-28-2005, 12:10 PM
:)
Oldie, but a goodie
Jason in LA
09-28-2005, 12:16 PM
I've heard that as a much shorter joke, but I've never seen a story made out of it. About halfway through the story I knew the Raiders were going to be a part of it.
shakenbake
09-28-2005, 12:23 PM
If Larry Johnson and Eric warfield and riding in the back of a car who's driving ?
The cop
shakenbake
09-28-2005, 12:24 PM
Why does Larry Johnson cry durring sex ?
The pepper spray.
Florida_Bronco
09-28-2005, 12:34 PM
LOL good one.
scorpio
09-28-2005, 02:09 PM
If you ever see a Raiders fan riding a bicycle, try not to run him over.
Why?
Because it might be your bicycle.
A CHILD CUSTODY FIRST
A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a courtroom drama today
when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The
boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge
initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody
law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the
degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him
more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.
When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the
boy cried out that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning
that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the
judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who
should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child
welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the
Oakland Raiders, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
:) LOL! I've never heard that one before. Brilliant!
REB
1-2-3-:Broncos:!!!!!!! :charge:
Crush Girl
09-28-2005, 03:21 PM
I was starting to feel really sorry for that little boy!
Good one :)
Crush Girl
09-28-2005, 03:34 PM
A Denver building contractor, discussing paint schemes with a couple, asked which color they had picked for their kitchen. The lady responded with vanilla white. "No problem" the Broncos fan replied as he opened the window and screamed out "GREEN SIDE UP".
The couple didn't think much of it and proceeded into the living room. The Broncos fan then asked which color they had decided on for the living room and they replied with hazalnut beige. At that point the Broncos fan opened the window and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP".
The couple, worried at this point but not saying anything, followed the contractor into the master bedroom. The contractor asked the couple what color they wanted the bedroom painted and they indicated pure white was their favorite. Once again the contractor opened the window and blasted "GREEN SIDE UP".
That's when the lady spoke, "Sir, we've been in three rooms, each a different color, but you scream "green side up" after we tell you a color for the room, what's up? "I'm sorry," the contractor said, "I should have told you before we started, I've got a Raiders fan and a Chiefs fan laying sod outside."
Good one. :)
REB
1-2-3-:Broncos:!!!!!!! :charge:
Florida_Bronco
09-28-2005, 07:27 PM
A Denver building contractor, discussing paint schemes with a couple, asked which color they had picked for their kitchen. The lady responded with vanilla white. "No problem" the Broncos fan replied as he opened the window and screamed out "GREEN SIDE UP".
The couple didn't think much of it and proceeded into the living room. The Broncos fan then asked which color they had decided on for the living room and they replied with hazalnut beige. At that point the Broncos fan opened the window and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP".
The couple, worried at this point but not saying anything, followed the contractor into the master bedroom. The contractor asked the couple what color they wanted the bedroom painted and they indicated pure white was their favorite. Once again the contractor opened the window and blasted "GREEN SIDE UP".
That's when the lady spoke, "Sir, we've been in three rooms, each a different color, but you scream "green side up" after we tell you a color for the room, what's up? "I'm sorry," the contractor said, "I should have told you before we started, I've got a Raiders fan and a Chiefs fan laying sod outside."
HAHAHA GOOD ONE!! LOL
No1BroncoFan
09-28-2005, 08:12 PM
A Bronco fan, a Chief fan and a Raider fan are eating lunch one day on the 20th floor. The Bronco fan opens his lunch and says "Ham and swiss again! If I get ham and swiss one more time I'm jumping out the window!"
The Chief fan opens his lunch and says "Roast beef and cheddar again! If I get roast beef and cheddar one more time I'm jumping out the window!"
The Raider fan opens his lunch and says "Bologna and Kraft again! If I get Bologna and Kraft one more time I'm jumping out the window!"
Well, the next day, the three of them are eating lunch together. The Bronco fan opens his lunch, sees ham and swiss and throws himself out the window. The Chiefs fan sees he's got roast beef and cheddar again and throws himself out the window. When the Raider fan sees he's got bologna and Kraft again, he too throws himself out the window.
Hours later the widows are crying and the Bronco fan's widow says "If he'd only told me... I would have made him something else." The Chief fan's widow says "That's right, if he'd only told me... I would have made him something else." They both look at the Raider fan's widow and she says "Hey, don't look at me. The dumbass made his own lunches!"
Ben
No1BroncoFan
09-28-2005, 08:21 PM
A Bronco fan, a Charger fan, a Chief fan and a Raider fan are walking along when they come across a naked woman lying unconscious. The Bronco fan goes to get a cop and the other three decide to use their hats to cover her "private" parts. The Charger fan puts his hat over one boob while the Chief fan covers the other and the Raider fan covers her "down there." When the Bronco fan returns with the cop, the cop looks under the Chiefs hat and writes down some info. Then he looks under the Charger hat and writes a little more. Next he looks under the Raider hat, writes a little, looks under the Rader hat again, writes a little more, looks under the Raider hat yet again and writes some more. The Bronco fan, getting concerned about this behavior, asks the cop what he's doing. The cop looks at him and says "I'm sure you can understand my suprise and confusion when I look under a Raider hat and see something other than an a$$hole."
Ben
LOL
REB
1-2-3-:Broncos:!!!!!!! :charge:
Rausch
09-28-2005, 11:59 PM
That joke's older than Dick Clark...