easymobee
09-26-2005, 01:03 AM
http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansa...ts/12741582.htm
Better be nice to KC, Madden
JASON WHITLOCK
Kansas City Star
Dear John Madden:
Hey, buddy. I’m writing to give you a little advice before tonight’s big game. You might think this is an ordinary, week-three “Monday Night Football” clash, pitting the Chiefs vs. the Broncos — a good early-season matchup but nothing all that special.
I know different. This is the most important broadcast of your career. If you don’t say all of the right things, your life and your career could be in jeopardy.
Insecure Chiefs fans are at their breaking point. If they don’t feel the Chiefs get enough “national respect” tonight from you and Al Michaels, someone is going to pay.
Last weekend the Chiefs and their fans were disrespected by Sterling Sharpe, a fill-in color commentator for ESPN’s Sunday night broadcast. Sharpe made the mistake of talking about Randy Moss, the most talented player in the league and one of the most controversial.
Chiefs fans rallied in protest and started e-mailing the higher-ups at ESPN asking that Sharpe never be used again. They even convinced Dick Vermeil that Sharpe was unfair in his coverage.
Well, John, you don’t have to make the same mistake as Sharpe. The Chiefs have a talented, controversial player for you to talk about. You would make Chiefs fans very happy if you spent all night talking about Larry Johnson. He’s bucking to be Kansas City’s very own Randy Moss.
He’s already working on a nice police rap sheet. He’s on diversion from a domestic case involving an ex-girlfriend. And he was recently accused of pushing another woman at a KC nightclub. Larry can run the ball and run his mouth.
If you don’t want to talk about Johnson, maybe you could talk about how the Chiefs’ defense is performing without King Drink, suspended cornerback Eric Warfield. Yeah, you could rave about how KC’s D is improved and will only get better when King Drink replaces Dexter McCleon.
Whatever you do, John, just remember to talk about the Chiefs. The fans here get really upset when broadcasters act as if KC’s opposition has had far more success than the Chiefs over the last couple of decades.
Please don’t mention that Mike Shanahan has owned Vermeil’s Chiefs inside The New Mile High.
Really, it would be best if you didn’t mention Denver’s stadium at all. It might remind Chiefs fans that we’re headed for a major showdown with the Hunt family if we don’t build the Chiefs a new stadium soon. Chiefs fans prefer to live in denial. They think we can come up with a Band-aid, renovation solution at Arrowhead that will keep the Hunt family happy. They refuse to acknowledge that the Cleveland Browns had a large, rabid fan base when Art Modell moved to Baltimore. A season-ticket waiting list is no protection when an owner has his eyes on a shiny new stadium.
Also, John, don’t mention John Elway. Even if he’s in the stands tonight, ask the producers to avoid panning the cameras on the greatest player in the history of the league. Elway still causes nightmares in KC. Elway is a reminder that it’s been 30 years since the Chiefs developed their own QB.
Boy, this is really going to be tough tonight. There are so many topics that are off-limits. When discussing KC’s improved D, it’s best not to mention the fact that Gunther Cunningham replaced Greg Robinson, the coordinator Shanahan bamboozled Vermeil into hiring.
Ooops, better not mention Shannon Sharpe, Sterling’s brother. Shannon used to kill the Chiefs.
On a positive note, you can speak glowingly of Neil Smith. He won two Super Bowls with the Broncos, but he’s still more of a Chief than a Bronco. He hangs out on the KC sideline now that he’s retired. He knows what he needs to do to sell gumbo in a barbecue town.
John, if you want to be welcome in KC in the future, speak glowingly of the Chiefs no matter the score.
Your friend,
Jason
Better be nice to KC, Madden
JASON WHITLOCK
Kansas City Star
Dear John Madden:
Hey, buddy. I’m writing to give you a little advice before tonight’s big game. You might think this is an ordinary, week-three “Monday Night Football” clash, pitting the Chiefs vs. the Broncos — a good early-season matchup but nothing all that special.
I know different. This is the most important broadcast of your career. If you don’t say all of the right things, your life and your career could be in jeopardy.
Insecure Chiefs fans are at their breaking point. If they don’t feel the Chiefs get enough “national respect” tonight from you and Al Michaels, someone is going to pay.
Last weekend the Chiefs and their fans were disrespected by Sterling Sharpe, a fill-in color commentator for ESPN’s Sunday night broadcast. Sharpe made the mistake of talking about Randy Moss, the most talented player in the league and one of the most controversial.
Chiefs fans rallied in protest and started e-mailing the higher-ups at ESPN asking that Sharpe never be used again. They even convinced Dick Vermeil that Sharpe was unfair in his coverage.
Well, John, you don’t have to make the same mistake as Sharpe. The Chiefs have a talented, controversial player for you to talk about. You would make Chiefs fans very happy if you spent all night talking about Larry Johnson. He’s bucking to be Kansas City’s very own Randy Moss.
He’s already working on a nice police rap sheet. He’s on diversion from a domestic case involving an ex-girlfriend. And he was recently accused of pushing another woman at a KC nightclub. Larry can run the ball and run his mouth.
If you don’t want to talk about Johnson, maybe you could talk about how the Chiefs’ defense is performing without King Drink, suspended cornerback Eric Warfield. Yeah, you could rave about how KC’s D is improved and will only get better when King Drink replaces Dexter McCleon.
Whatever you do, John, just remember to talk about the Chiefs. The fans here get really upset when broadcasters act as if KC’s opposition has had far more success than the Chiefs over the last couple of decades.
Please don’t mention that Mike Shanahan has owned Vermeil’s Chiefs inside The New Mile High.
Really, it would be best if you didn’t mention Denver’s stadium at all. It might remind Chiefs fans that we’re headed for a major showdown with the Hunt family if we don’t build the Chiefs a new stadium soon. Chiefs fans prefer to live in denial. They think we can come up with a Band-aid, renovation solution at Arrowhead that will keep the Hunt family happy. They refuse to acknowledge that the Cleveland Browns had a large, rabid fan base when Art Modell moved to Baltimore. A season-ticket waiting list is no protection when an owner has his eyes on a shiny new stadium.
Also, John, don’t mention John Elway. Even if he’s in the stands tonight, ask the producers to avoid panning the cameras on the greatest player in the history of the league. Elway still causes nightmares in KC. Elway is a reminder that it’s been 30 years since the Chiefs developed their own QB.
Boy, this is really going to be tough tonight. There are so many topics that are off-limits. When discussing KC’s improved D, it’s best not to mention the fact that Gunther Cunningham replaced Greg Robinson, the coordinator Shanahan bamboozled Vermeil into hiring.
Ooops, better not mention Shannon Sharpe, Sterling’s brother. Shannon used to kill the Chiefs.
On a positive note, you can speak glowingly of Neil Smith. He won two Super Bowls with the Broncos, but he’s still more of a Chief than a Bronco. He hangs out on the KC sideline now that he’s retired. He knows what he needs to do to sell gumbo in a barbecue town.
John, if you want to be welcome in KC in the future, speak glowingly of the Chiefs no matter the score.
Your friend,
Jason