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View Full Version : Ooof - this Deadspin Brock take is SPICY


Pontius Pirate
08-23-2016, 01:40 PM
I lol'd:

...there is nothing to suggest that Osweiler deserved the $37 million in guarantees that the Texans paid, a contract they threw down just so that they can look like they care about addressing the quarterback position. Osweiler’s greatest achievement was beating the Pats at home in a game where Gronk nearly died and the refs handed out flags like free restaurant mints. His second greatest achievement is that he is tall, just like the quarterback the Texans cut in the middle of last season. Whoop dee damn doo.

After that Pats game, the Broncos spent the end of last season jerking off a dead bull trying to score more than 20 a game. Osweiler was then benched for a wet-armed Peyton Manning and had the nerve to pout about it when Manning—who is only one of the greatest quarterbacks in league history—kept the job all the way through to the Super Bowl. Hey Ostrich Boy, your QBR last season was lower than Johnny Manziel’s. You have no right to bitch. It says a lot that the Broncos were not only willing to part with a quarterback they drafted and groomed over a number of years to succeed Manning, but they also took pains to shade his ass on the way out the door. This isn’t the most pro-management website on Earth, but even we can tell that the Broncos dumped Brock because he’s a stack of turds.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2016-houston-texans-1785646617

Requiem
08-23-2016, 01:41 PM
awesome!!!

DenverBrit
08-23-2016, 01:42 PM
Hilarious!

ZONA
08-23-2016, 01:45 PM
great find - thanks for sharing

Irish Stout
08-23-2016, 01:47 PM
Love the Why Your Team Sucks articles!

Kaylore
08-23-2016, 01:50 PM
I watched him against the Saints. I don't agree he was bad as some here have suggested. But he wasn't playing like someone who just signed the contract that he did.

broncocalijohn
08-23-2016, 01:55 PM
How many of us wanted Brock back but didn't want to spend that type of money THEN you see him as just a complete immature, jerk and you feel good about Elway not signing him even with our QB concerns?


(I am putting my hand up)

Rabb
08-23-2016, 01:57 PM
How many of us wanted Brock back but didn't want to spend that type of money THEN you see him as just a complete immature, jerk and you feel good about Elway not signing him even with our QB concerns?


(I am putting my hand up)

Me

ColoradoDarin
08-23-2016, 02:15 PM
How many of us wanted Brock back but didn't want to spend that type of money THEN you see him as just a complete immature, jerk and you feel good about Elway not signing him even with our QB concerns?


(I am putting my hand up)

Ditto, because:


...

But he wasn't playing like someone who just signed the contract that he did.

He looks like a rookie out there (high draft pick first year starting rookie, but rookie nonetheless).

MamaMia
08-23-2016, 02:27 PM
Brock's bggest problem is that he's incredibly lanky, so his delivery is not quick, plus his arm isn't that strong, so by the time the ball gets there the defender has had time to react to it. If it's a timing route where the receiver breaks before it's thrown, that can work for him but then the receiver has to get separation. Otherwise, he's not going to have as much luck.

Requiem
08-23-2016, 02:34 PM
Brock's bggest problem is that he's incredibly lanky, so his delivery is not quick, plus his arm isn't that strong, so by the time the ball gets there the defender has had time to react to it. If it's a timing route where the receiver breaks before it's thrown, that can work for him but then the receiver has to get separation. Otherwise, he's not going to have as much luck.

Thanks John Gruden!

Bronx33
08-23-2016, 02:34 PM
Gronk nearly died Hilarious!

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PF9WOxYrH4I" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

posted video for reference so lighten up chowder heads ..

Das Rote Baron
08-23-2016, 03:19 PM
Love the articles. I've been waiting for the Pats and Broncos ones. Guess they do them in ascending order. The fan comments are equally funny, "When Peyton Manning left Indy he wanted to come to Houston, but Gary Kubiak vetoed it. Later, Gary Kubiak lost 14 games in a row and got fired a week after having a seizure on the field in the middle of a game. Then, Peyton Manning won a Super Bowl in Denver, with Gary Kubiak as his coach. There is no punchline here."

Miss I.
08-23-2016, 03:28 PM
Gronk nearly died Hilarious!

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PF9WOxYrH4I" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

posted video for reference so lighten up chowder heads ..

that's not funny. I love Gronk. You bastard! (just kidding, i am super drunk)

Taco John
08-23-2016, 04:13 PM
He looks like a baby giraffe in a phone booth when trying to navigate the pocket. Slow, lanky, lead footed...

KipCorrington25
08-23-2016, 04:55 PM
Gronkowski is a huge pussy, rolling around like he was shot and it turns out to be a bruise.

Miss I.
08-23-2016, 05:10 PM
Gronkowski is a huge p***Y, rolling around like he was shot and it turns out to be a bruise.

OH **** you! he was rolling around like a soft ball sack. p***Y's can take a pounding. It's soft WEAK ball sacks that freak the eff out and practically become innies to avoid being hurt. So if you are going to insult Gronk, at least use the proper vernacular, "Dude, Gronk is a huge ball sack, like a strong breeze might've brushed his tender sacks of semen and it turn out to be nothing"

ghwk
08-23-2016, 05:18 PM
OH **** you! he was rolling around like a soft ball sack. p***Y's can take a pounding. It's soft WEAK ball sacks that freak the eff out and practically become innies to avoid being hurt. So if you are going to insult Gronk, at least use the proper vernacular, "Dude, Gronk is a huge ball sack, like a strong breeze might've brushed his tender sacks of semen and it turn out to be nothing"

Miss I telling it like it is! Hilarious!

Bronx33
08-23-2016, 05:29 PM
Miss I telling it like it is! Hilarious!

Shes certainly enjoying herself this evening.

Maleficent
08-23-2016, 05:34 PM
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">12/19. 124 yards. 1 TD. 1 INT.<br><br>Every <a href="https://twitter.com/bosweiler17">@bosweiler17</a> throw from <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/NOvsHOU?src=hash">#NOvsHOU</a>. �� <a href="https://t.co/FOIBZ9NX39">https://t.co/FOIBZ9NX39</a></p>&mdash; NFL (@NFL) <a href="https://twitter.com/NFL/status/767232279324176384">August 21, 2016</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

Miss I.
08-23-2016, 05:35 PM
Shes certainly enjoying herself this evening.

I might've had wine. I am not saying I did, but it's distinctly possible.

GreatBronco16
08-23-2016, 05:35 PM
How many of us wanted Brock back but didn't want to spend that type of money THEN you see him as just a complete immature, jerk and you feel good about Elway not signing him even with our QB concerns?


(I am putting my hand up)


Is there a raised hand smiley???


http://rs244.pbsrc.com/albums/gg11/rd12498/hdtv/Smileys/Raise-Hand-Smiley-pic_zps483ebeae.jpg~c200

Bronx33
08-23-2016, 05:38 PM
I might've had wine. I am not saying I did, but it's distinctly possible.

Your spelling is still ok you haven't had enough obviously or it took you 7 minutes to type that sentence.

Miss I.
08-23-2016, 05:42 PM
Your spelling is still ok you haven't had enough obviously or it took you 7 minutes to type that sentence.

7 minutes? nah that's about how long sex lasts for most dudes, not how long it takes me to type things (drunk or sober). ;D

Bronx33
08-23-2016, 05:47 PM
7 minutes? nah that's about how long sex lasts for most dudes, not how long it takes me to type things (drunk or sober). ;D

Sadly they don't make a emogi that expresses my thoughts on this properly

Drunken.Broncoholic2
08-23-2016, 05:50 PM
Id feel better about this if the Broncos didn't offer 16M, and were willing to match Houston to keep him.


But since Sexton rejected phone calls, the Broncos all of a sudden dumped him? Broncos wanted him.

GoneFishin'
08-23-2016, 05:50 PM
Deadspin is the product of a bunch of mean spirited dudes who grew up listening to Jim Rome thinking it's hip to constantly put down people. Plus to insinuate that the Broncos were helped by bad refereeing in that Broncos-Pats Sunday Nighter...pfff.

bpc
08-23-2016, 05:52 PM
That was pure fire. Loved every second reading that.

Powderaddict
08-23-2016, 05:55 PM
7 minutes? nah that's about how long sex lasts for most dudes, not how long it takes me to type things (drunk or sober). ;D

Methinks your estimate is about 6 1/2 minutes optimistic.

UltimateHoboW/Shotgun
08-23-2016, 06:08 PM
OH **** you! he was rolling around like a soft ball sack. p***Y's can take a pounding. It's soft WEAK ball sacks that freak the eff out and practically become innies to avoid being hurt. So if you are going to insult Gronk, at least use the proper vernacular, "Dude, Gronk is a huge ball sack, like a strong breeze might've brushed his tender sacks of semen and it turn out to be nothing"

BooooooooM! Miss I delivers the blow of the night. Right to the nuts!

ghwk
08-23-2016, 06:09 PM
I might've had wine. I am not saying I did, but it's distinctly possible.

You go girl. I've seen enough drunk posts from the guys lets get a woman's take on it!

ColoradoDarin
08-23-2016, 06:13 PM
OH **** you! he was rolling around like a soft ball sack. p***Y's can take a pounding. It's soft WEAK ball sacks that freak the eff out and practically become innies to avoid being hurt. So if you are going to insult Gronk, at least use the proper vernacular, "Dude, Gronk is a huge ball sack, like a strong breeze might've brushed his tender sacks of semen and it turn out to be nothing"

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/zXt56MB-3vc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Miss I.
08-23-2016, 06:16 PM
Okay so my drunken kick to the balls aside, the original post was solid and the article funny (if a bit in love with the NE Patriots..tho to be fair, Gronk is fairly likeable, his soft balls aside...and I am not at all biased by Gronk graduating from my school...nah, i like I totally am, but he is funny as hell...too bad about his inverted ball sack though).

ColoradoDarin
08-23-2016, 06:17 PM
balls.

Rohirrim
08-23-2016, 06:21 PM
I lol'd:

...there is nothing to suggest that Osweiler deserved the $37 million in guarantees that the Texans paid, a contract they threw down just so that they can look like they care about addressing the quarterback position. Osweiler’s greatest achievement was beating the Pats at home in a game where Gronk nearly died and the refs handed out flags like free restaurant mints. His second greatest achievement is that he is tall, just like the quarterback the Texans cut in the middle of last season. Whoop dee damn doo.

After that Pats game, the Broncos spent the end of last season jerking off a dead bull trying to score more than 20 a game. Osweiler was then benched for a wet-armed Peyton Manning and had the nerve to pout about it when Manning—who is only one of the greatest quarterbacks in league history—kept the job all the way through to the Super Bowl. Hey Ostrich Boy, your QBR last season was lower than Johnny Manziel’s. You have no right to b****. It says a lot that the Broncos were not only willing to part with a quarterback they drafted and groomed over a number of years to succeed Manning, but they also took pains to shade his ass on the way out the door. This isn’t the most pro-management website on Earth, but even we can tell that the Broncos dumped Brock because he’s a stack of turds.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2016-houston-texans-1785646617

:spit: Brock is such a putz. But the Texans are even bigger putzes for giving him that money.

DENVERDUI55
08-23-2016, 06:23 PM
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">12/19. 124 yards. 1 TD. 1 INT.<br><br>Every <a href="https://twitter.com/bosweiler17">@bosweiler17</a> throw from <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/NOvsHOU?src=hash">#NOvsHOU</a>. �� <a href="https://t.co/FOIBZ9NX39">https://t.co/FOIBZ9NX39</a></p>&mdash; NFL (@NFL) <a href="https://twitter.com/NFL/status/767232279324176384">August 21, 2016</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

He looked pretty good until in the redzone. He then looked very familiar to the Oakland loss last year.

wolf754life
08-23-2016, 06:30 PM
He looked pretty good until in the redzone. He then looked very familiar to the Oakland loss last year.

So much FAPPING

Rohirrim
08-23-2016, 06:35 PM
"This isn’t the most pro-management website on Earth, but even we can tell that the Broncos dumped Brock because he’s a stack of turds. Speaking of which…"

"They gave Brock Osweiller a four year $72 million contract. The guy who couldn’t beat out Peyton Manning for a job even though Manning could no longer throw the ball five yards. The guy the Broncos said, “No, go ahead, you take him. We’ll just go with Mark Sanchez.”

"If Osweiller turns into Scott Mitchell or Matt Flynn, the idiots will flood Houston’s sports talk stations demanding the team sign Vince Young."

Hilarious!

Bronx33
08-23-2016, 06:39 PM
I am sooo using the ( stack of turds ) line tomorrow at work.

bronco militia
08-23-2016, 06:41 PM
DREW!!

gawd i miss KSK

bronco militia
08-23-2016, 06:42 PM
https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--QCesX3Hq--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/oxritdbhvlpq5zpp8y84.png

Bronx33
08-23-2016, 06:45 PM
DREW!!

gawd i miss KSK

Ditto...

Bronx33
08-23-2016, 06:49 PM
https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--QCesX3Hq--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/oxritdbhvlpq5zpp8y84.png

It appears he had and didn't like the orange Gatorade.