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vancejohnson82
01-28-2014, 10:32 AM
So, last week I began wearing a different Broncos themed piece of clothing every day to work (teacher, high school). Walking out of work on Friday this woman falls down on some ice and can't get up. Security comes out and calls for an ambulance and we're told 10-15 minutes there should be some help there. It's about 20 degrees out (New Jersey) and she has a light shoal on because she's a selfish dullard. I've got my 2005 AFC Dvision Champions sweatshirt on, complete with wing sauce stains on the right sleeve, a cigarette burn hole in the back and fun juice marks ALL over it. The security guard asks if anyone has a sweatshirt or something warm for her to wait in and looks dead at me...I hesitate and finally my conscience overrides rational thought and I lay out my sweatshirt for her to BORROW until the ambulance comes. I wait a few minutes and another security guard comes and lays out a blanket on top of the sweatshirt, hence giving her a DOUBLE COATING of warmth...by now there is a crowd around us and she is moaning in pain (looking for that workers comp money)
I have to coach a basketball practice 20 minutes away in about 10 minutes while we're still waiting for the ambulance. I attempt a few times to reach down and reclaim my sweatshirt but each time I do, im worried its looking like i'm an inconsiderate bastard, or a psychopathic pervert trying to cop a feel on this middle aged lunchlady. I think about my options:

1) leave and call it a loss
2) grab the sweatshirt and care less about how it looks grabbing it while this woman is writhing in pain
3) go all in with getting the sweatshirt back which means skipping my bball practice and hopping in the ambulance with her
4) leave my classroom number and hope it comes back

I chose #4 and I'm sill waiting for the sweatshirt...apparently nobody can find it and the woman is out of school with an injury.....that's my 2005 AFC Divisional Champions sweatshirt MAN!!!!! With the fun juice and wing sauce on it!!!

I think its a bad omen.....any suggestions for reversing such bad luck....do I kick a ferel cat in the teeth? Moon a schoolbus of pre-school children?? help!

bronco militia
01-28-2014, 10:35 AM
the football Gods will be pleased. Go buy another sweatshirt, ya cheap bastard.

Kaylore
01-28-2014, 10:36 AM
Well I'll be wearing my unwashed pajama bottoms, Broncos T-shirt and Manning Jersey.

Really, since you donated your sweatshirt to a really good cause, an act of charity, this may have been the sacrifice to football gods that guarantees we win. This would be different if you used it to put out a fire you started or some hoodlum tagged it with spray paint. This may be a good thing.

Also my daughter has been eating Orange and Blue food every Sunday morning. And I have been eating Fosted Mini-wheats. I'm sorry but if I hit all that stuff again, KCSheepstud could drop a deuce on your sweater and we'd still win.

WolfpackGuy
01-28-2014, 10:38 AM
I'll keep an eye out for it on eBay...

What size is it...?

crush17
01-28-2014, 10:39 AM
fun juice...

andyh64000
01-28-2014, 10:39 AM
So, last week I began wearing a different Broncos themed piece of clothing every day to work (teacher, high school). Walking out of work on Friday this woman falls down on some ice and can't get up. Security comes out and calls for an ambulance and we're told 10-15 minutes there should be some help there. It's about 20 degrees out (New Jersey) and she has a light shoal on because she's a selfish dullard. I've got my 2005 AFC Dvision Champions sweatshirt on, complete with wing sauce stains on the right sleeve, a cigarette burn hole in the back and fun juice marks ALL over it. The security guard asks if anyone has a sweatshirt or something warm for her to wait in and looks dead at me...I hesitate and finally my conscience overrides rational thought and I lay out my sweatshirt for her to BORROW until the ambulance comes. I wait a few minutes and another security guard comes and lays out a blanket on top of the sweatshirt, hence giving her a DOUBLE COATING of warmth...by now there is a crowd around us and she is moaning in pain (looking for that workers comp money)
I have to coach a basketball practice 20 minutes away in about 10 minutes while we're still waiting for the ambulance. I attempt a few times to reach down and reclaim my sweatshirt but each time I do, im worried its looking like i'm an inconsiderate bastard, or a psychopathic pervert trying to cop a feel on this middle aged lunchlady. I think about my options:

1) leave and call it a loss
2) grab the sweatshirt and care less about how it looks grabbing it while this woman is writhing in pain
3) go all in with getting the sweatshirt back which means skipping my bball practice and hopping in the ambulance with her
4) leave my classroom number and hope it comes back

I chose #4 and I'm sill waiting for the sweatshirt...apparently nobody can find it and the woman is out of school with an injury.....that's my 2005 AFC Divisional Champions sweatshirt MAN!!!!! With the fun juice and wing sauce on it!!!

I think its a bad omen.....any suggestions for reversing such bad luck....do I kick a ferel cat in the teeth? Moon a schoolbus of pre-school children?? help!

Visualizing #3 made me LOL.

I can just see it now
"sir, no need to worry...your wife will be fine"
"she's not my wife"
"girlfriend?"
"nope"
"sister?....Mother?"
"I have no ****ing idea who she is but she is wearing my 2005 Division Champions Sweatshirt and that makes her the most important woman in the world to me right now"

spdirty
01-28-2014, 10:40 AM
Well I'll be wearing my unwashed pajama bottoms, Broncos T-shirt and Manning Jersey.

Really, since you donated your sweatshirt to a really good cause, an act of charity this may have been the sacrifice to football gods that guarantees we win. This would be different if you used it to put out a fire you started or some hoodlum tagged it with spray paint. This may be a good thing.

This!

Old Dude
01-28-2014, 10:49 AM
At this point, I think you need to start collecting good luck charms to make up for the devastating loss. I'd recommend:

1. Bundles of Cinnamon sticks.

2. Fishbowl, but must contain proper mix of 8 gold fishes and one black fish. Otherwise, don't bother.

3. White Socks. And it wouldn't hurt to wear an extra pair on your hands.

4. A raccoon penis bone. A baculum from any other animal doesn't count, unfortunately.

5. And, if you are desperate, a "Hello Kitty" phone charm, but watch out for the karmic backlash later on.

Jetmeck
01-28-2014, 10:57 AM
Maybe she will sell it. I would after that workers comp comment.

But hey good luck

vancejohnson82
01-28-2014, 11:00 AM
Ok, so I guess I'll go ahead and chalk it up as a sacrifice to the football god's....

I will, however, keep an eye out for a raccoon penis bone...

All this happened approximately 2 weeks after my man cave was destroyed in a flood too...BUT, both the Elway signed jersey, Manning jersey, Bailey helmet and old Mile High picture were miraculously unharmed

its been a strange end to the season....also, had media day tickets today but wasn't able to take off of work because of an "emergency" meeting

ColoradoDarin
01-28-2014, 11:07 AM
We lost that year. So yeah. Get a new sweatshirt.

Beantown Bronco
01-28-2014, 11:14 AM
Honest question.....What kind of high school do you work at that allows teachers to wear ripped clothing with food and jizz stains? Do you teach blind kids?

huh??
01-28-2014, 11:15 AM
That sucks about your man cave...



Please define, "...fun juice".
It's not a Lewinsky/Clinton-type thing, is it?

vancejohnson82
01-28-2014, 11:19 AM
Honest question.....What kind of high school do you work at that allows teachers to wear ripped clothing with food and jizz stains? Do you teach blind kids?

that's my outerwear...once I'm in the building its all gotta come off for the teaching duds

I teach in Paterson, NJ (home of Mike Adams)....I teach at the school Lean on Me was made about (Crazy Joe Clark)

theAPAOps5
01-28-2014, 11:58 AM
You are conveniently ignoring the fun juice questions.

broncocalijohn
01-28-2014, 12:02 PM
1) leave and call it a loss
2) grab the sweatshirt and care less about how it looks grabbing it while this woman is writhing in pain
3) go all in with getting the sweatshirt back which means skipping my bball practice and hopping in the ambulance with her
4) leave my classroom number and hope it comes back

I chose #4 and I'm sill waiting for the sweatshirt...apparently nobody can find it and the woman is out of school with an injury.....that's my 2005 AFC Divisional Champions sweatshirt MAN!!!!! With the fun juice and wing sauce on it!!!

I think its a bad omen.....any suggestions for reversing such bad luck....do I kick a ferel cat in the teeth? Moon a schoolbus of pre-school children?? help!

Drag her to the George Washington MEMORIAL Bridge and toss her off with the rest of the Seahawks fans.

hades
01-28-2014, 12:54 PM
Hey, that lady was my Mom!


Not really!

bronco militia
01-28-2014, 01:10 PM
Hey, that lady was my Mom!


Not really!

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/yDoPFPOiJe0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

theAPAOps5
01-28-2014, 01:10 PM
Hey, that lady was my Mom!


Not really!

Well tell her to give the ****ing jersey back then! Jesus, karma is on the line.

hades
01-28-2014, 01:23 PM
I'll tell her to wear it over her hospital gown Sunday, and drink an orange Julius while watching the game. :D
Or, I'll bring it by school, you in room 222 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcaUluahdwM)?

ghwk
01-28-2014, 01:56 PM
Yeah he pretty much lost me at fun juice....I kinda want to know but then I won't be able to unknow.

Keira's Lip Balm
01-28-2014, 01:59 PM
Honest question.....What kind of high school do you work at that allows teachers to wear ripped clothing with food and jizz stains? Do you teach blind kids?

New Jersey.

Speaking of, sounds like the OP needs a new jersey.

TheElusiveKyleOrton
01-28-2014, 02:02 PM
Fun juice, huh? All over it, huh?

Uh huh.

broncocalijohn
01-28-2014, 02:05 PM
Fun juice, huh? All over it, huh?

Uh huh.

I use the Chargers hand towels they pass out at Chargers vs Broncos game. I have no idea why he would use his own clothing and then wear it.

theAPAOps5
01-28-2014, 02:39 PM
I use the Chargers hand towels they pass out at Chargers vs Broncos game. I have no idea why he would use his own clothing and then wear it.

And admit it in a public forum....

SportinOne
01-28-2014, 02:40 PM
So, last week I began wearing a different Broncos themed piece of clothing every day to work (teacher, high school). Walking out of work on Friday this woman falls down on some ice and can't get up. Security comes out and calls for an ambulance and we're told 10-15 minutes there should be some help there. It's about 20 degrees out (New Jersey) and she has a light shoal on because she's a selfish dullard. I've got my 2005 AFC Dvision Champions sweatshirt on, complete with wing sauce stains on the right sleeve, a cigarette burn hole in the back and fun juice marks ALL over it. The security guard asks if anyone has a sweatshirt or something warm for her to wait in and looks dead at me...I hesitate and finally my conscience overrides rational thought and I lay out my sweatshirt for her to BORROW until the ambulance comes. I wait a few minutes and another security guard comes and lays out a blanket on top of the sweatshirt, hence giving her a DOUBLE COATING of warmth...by now there is a crowd around us and she is moaning in pain (looking for that workers comp money)
I have to coach a basketball practice 20 minutes away in about 10 minutes while we're still waiting for the ambulance. I attempt a few times to reach down and reclaim my sweatshirt but each time I do, im worried its looking like i'm an inconsiderate bastard, or a psychopathic pervert trying to cop a feel on this middle aged lunchlady. I think about my options:

1) leave and call it a loss
2) grab the sweatshirt and care less about how it looks grabbing it while this woman is writhing in pain
3) go all in with getting the sweatshirt back which means skipping my bball practice and hopping in the ambulance with her
4) leave my classroom number and hope it comes back

I chose #4 and I'm sill waiting for the sweatshirt...apparently nobody can find it and the woman is out of school with an injury.....that's my 2005 AFC Divisional Champions sweatshirt MAN!!!!! With the fun juice and wing sauce on it!!!

I think its a bad omen.....any suggestions for reversing such bad luck....do I kick a ferel cat in the teeth? Moon a schoolbus of pre-school children?? help!


Not sure if you're serious about some of the comments.. or if that's some kind of humor. but you're kind of judgmental, man.

theAPAOps5
01-28-2014, 02:47 PM
Not sure if you're serious about some of the comments.. or if that's some kind of humor. but you're kind of judgmental, man.

Why? Because she is a litigious, lazy ass, sloppy joe slinging, cheat?

Miss I.
01-28-2014, 03:08 PM
Ok, so I guess I'll go ahead and chalk it up as a sacrifice to the football god's....

I will, however, keep an eye out for a raccoon penis bone...

All this happened approximately 2 weeks after my man cave was destroyed in a flood too...BUT, both the Elway signed jersey, Manning jersey, Bailey helmet and old Mile High picture were miraculously unharmed

its been a strange end to the season....also, had media day tickets today but wasn't able to take off of work because of an "emergency" meeting

Vance, sorry to hear of your loss, but if you want it, I have a Super Bowl XXXII Volunteer sweatshirt I could send you if you want it. YEs, yes I am old enough to have been of legal drinking age during that Super Bowl and a volunteer (indentured servant more like it) there. But really, if you'd like it I could send it. Unfortunately its very clean and has been laundered so no stains or cigarette holes but you could fix that I imagine.

broncocalijohn
01-28-2014, 03:52 PM
Why? Because she is a litigious, lazy ass, sloppy joe slinging, cheat?

and just to get under Jetmeck's union humping skin, don't forget she slipped and fell probably for worker's compensation.

Rohirrim
01-28-2014, 03:58 PM
Better than having a couple of nihilists break into your apartment, throw a marmot in your tub, and steal your rug. What you did was good karma, dude. :puff:

theAPAOps5
01-28-2014, 04:02 PM
Better than having a couple of nihilists break into your apartment, throw a marmot in your tub, and steal your rug. What you did was good karma, dude. :puff:

NIHILIST.... Maaaan

BroncoFanDoug
01-28-2014, 09:00 PM
She will wake up in the hospital and see this as an omen from god. She will become the biggest Bronco fan of all time, and her conversion will switch the 12th man advantage to Denver, thereby being the key to Denver winning the SB.

National news will pick it up, you will be found and generous Bronco fans will fill your coffers with ty dollars.

And we all lived happily every after.

Doggcow
01-28-2014, 09:02 PM
My brother and I have lost every game we watched together, so I don't even get to watch the game with my bro

Vegas_Bronco
01-28-2014, 10:33 PM
Visualizing #3 made me LOL.

I can just see it now
"sir, no need to worry...your wife will be fine"
"she's not my wife"
"girlfriend?"
"nope"
"sister?....Mother?"
"I have no ****ing idea who she is but she is wearing my 2005 Division Champions Sweatshirt and that makes her the most important woman in the world to me right now"

Her husband (Patsy or Giants fan): "WTH were you doing with my wife in the ambulance and why did she have your shirt on before she died?"

Vegas_Bronco
01-28-2014, 10:41 PM
Why? Because she is a litigious, lazy ass, sloppy joe slinging, cheat?

nailed it!

R8R H8R
01-29-2014, 12:37 AM
Her husband (Patsy or Giants fan): "WTH were you doing with my wife in the ambulance and why did she have your shirt on before she died?"

...with fun juice all over it?!

canadianbroncosfan
01-29-2014, 01:29 AM
and just to get under Jetmeck's union humping skin, don't forget she slipped and fell probably for worker's compensation.

LOL

Jason in LA
01-29-2014, 02:00 AM
So, last week I began wearing a different Broncos themed piece of clothing every day to work (teacher, high school). Walking out of work on Friday this woman falls down on some ice and can't get up. Security comes out and calls for an ambulance and we're told 10-15 minutes there should be some help there. It's about 20 degrees out (New Jersey) and she has a light shoal on because she's a selfish dullard. I've got my 2005 AFC Dvision Champions sweatshirt on, complete with wing sauce stains on the right sleeve, a cigarette burn hole in the back and fun juice marks ALL over it. The security guard asks if anyone has a sweatshirt or something warm for her to wait in and looks dead at me...I hesitate and finally my conscience overrides rational thought and I lay out my sweatshirt for her to BORROW until the ambulance comes. I wait a few minutes and another security guard comes and lays out a blanket on top of the sweatshirt, hence giving her a DOUBLE COATING of warmth...by now there is a crowd around us and she is moaning in pain (looking for that workers comp money)
I have to coach a basketball practice 20 minutes away in about 10 minutes while we're still waiting for the ambulance. I attempt a few times to reach down and reclaim my sweatshirt but each time I do, im worried its looking like i'm an inconsiderate bastard, or a psychopathic pervert trying to cop a feel on this middle aged lunchlady. I think about my options:

1) leave and call it a loss
2) grab the sweatshirt and care less about how it looks grabbing it while this woman is writhing in pain
3) go all in with getting the sweatshirt back which means skipping my bball practice and hopping in the ambulance with her
4) leave my classroom number and hope it comes back

I chose #4 and I'm sill waiting for the sweatshirt...apparently nobody can find it and the woman is out of school with an injury.....that's my 2005 AFC Divisional Champions sweatshirt MAN!!!!! With the fun juice and wing sauce on it!!!

I think its a bad omen.....any suggestions for reversing such bad luck....do I kick a ferel cat in the teeth? Moon a schoolbus of pre-school children?? help!

Something kind of similar, but really way different happened to me.

I was on a first date, and it was a chili night in LA. Nothing crazy, maybe '50ish, but that's like freezing cold to us LA folks. So I'm wearing a suit, actually just the slacks and vest from a 3-piece suit, and I bring a top coat, because I know that I'm going to be cold. So at the end of the date, which was great, we walk outside and I'm going to walk her to her car. Must have been around midnight. I start putting on my top coat because it was cold. As I'm putting it on I notice that she just has on a really thin coat, which didn't look warm. I mentally thought "dammit!" I have to give her my coat and walk in this cold because she didn't bring a thick coat. I had to man up and do it.

Well, I'm not complaining. Nearly three years later we're still together. Good times! So it was worth those few minutes in the cold.

Sorry my story had a happier ending than yours. ;D

Jason in LA
01-29-2014, 02:06 AM
Honest question.....What kind of high school do you work at that allows teachers to wear ripped clothing with food and jizz stains? Do you teach blind kids?

"jizz stains". I just laughed out loud. LOL

Guess Who
01-29-2014, 02:28 AM
So, last week I began wearing a different Broncos themed piece of clothing every day to work (teacher, high school). Walking out of work on Friday this woman falls down on some ice and can't get up. Security comes out and calls for an ambulance and we're told 10-15 minutes there should be some help there. It's about 20 degrees out (New Jersey) and she has a light shoal on because she's a selfish dullard. I've got my 2005 AFC Dvision Champions sweatshirt on, complete with wing sauce stains on the right sleeve, a cigarette burn hole in the back and fun juice marks ALL over it. The security guard asks if anyone has a sweatshirt or something warm for her to wait in and looks dead at me...I hesitate and finally my conscience overrides rational thought and I lay out my sweatshirt for her to BORROW until the ambulance comes. I wait a few minutes and another security guard comes and lays out a blanket on top of the sweatshirt, hence giving her a DOUBLE COATING of warmth...by now there is a crowd around us and she is moaning in pain (looking for that workers comp money)
I have to coach a basketball practice 20 minutes away in about 10 minutes while we're still waiting for the ambulance. I attempt a few times to reach down and reclaim my sweatshirt but each time I do, im worried its looking like i'm an inconsiderate bastard, or a psychopathic pervert trying to cop a feel on this middle aged lunchlady. I think about my options:

1) leave and call it a loss
2) grab the sweatshirt and care less about how it looks grabbing it while this woman is writhing in pain
3) go all in with getting the sweatshirt back which means skipping my bball practice and hopping in the ambulance with her
4) leave my classroom number and hope it comes back

I chose #4 and I'm sill waiting for the sweatshirt...apparently nobody can find it and the woman is out of school with an injury.....that's my 2005 AFC Divisional Champions sweatshirt MAN!!!!! With the fun juice and wing sauce on it!!!

I think its a bad omen.....any suggestions for reversing such bad luck....do I kick a ferel cat in the teeth? Moon a schoolbus of pre-school children?? help!

Your sacrifice shall be a welcomed gift to the football gods and you will be rewarded. You might be reponsible for a Broncos victory... GREAT JOB!



and you shouldn't smoke.

Rausch 2.0
01-29-2014, 03:50 AM
Your sacrifice shall be a welcomed gift to the football gods and you will be rewarded.

Nein!

Dear Lord, about our Bronco enemies, ignore their heathen prayers and help us blow those little bastards straight to Hell. Amen.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_LQeYpRTFEJw/TCs9SLaYg7I/AAAAAAAACu0/hlTjMF0LZLg/s1600/Hal%2BMoore,%2BLTG,%2BUSA%2B(Retired).jpg