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View Full Version : Comedic Names and Their Stories - Dick Ezenya


hambone13
05-04-2012, 01:16 PM
In the spirit of Rev's "Best TV Shows" thread, I think there could be some validity in this one. There are a lot of jokes out there about "Really Funny Names" such as Richard Cranium = Dick Head, etc. I wrote the following bit in the "Osweiller Tattoo Fail" thread but I think it's a solid introduction to some good comedy and conversation about names and language in general during the off-season.....here's to my favorite Unix Administrator, Poon Tang.....love you!


I was out at soccer practice with my two kids who are 8 and 9. (Yeah, that makes 'em Irish twins. What of it?) I walked in on a conversation with a few of the moms and dads, all of mixed ethnicity including, Irish-American, Mexican-American, Danish-American, Ethiopian-American, etc.

The story teller was a female-American from Canada who had dark enough skin to be Haitian-American but claimed that she got her darker skin from her southern Indian (dot not feather) heritage. Interestingly enough, we had to get all of these details out before anyone could hear this story, in her opinion because she works for the Denver Public School system. Getting on to the actual story....

The discussion was based on all of the new, unique and unusual names that have surfaced over the last generation or so. The Canadian Dot (oh wait, is that racist or just culturally specific adjectives?) continues to describe one of her favorites' which is "Abcde" = "Absedee". We all got a real kick out of that one because there is something clever about it. Then, this this doozie surfaced as her most daunting experience ever, during "roll call" on the first day of school last year.....

She reads, "Le - a" (Official School List of Legal Names). She reads it again and again then ventures to pronounce, "Is 'Leeah' Jenkins here?".

Out of crowd of first day students, in a very irritated voice (This is fourth grade so this obviously is not the first time this little girl has had to struggle through this.) She hears, "IT'S 'LADASHA' dammit!"

I was laughing so hard after I processed the symbol to phonetic relevance that I nearly threw up my granola bar from soccer snack.

Let's not forget elements such as the Bimbo bread company. Those trucks crack me up every time I see them. Have you a contribution?

hambone13
05-04-2012, 01:35 PM
My brother just texted me, "Dr. Ben Hurt".... good stuff.

BroncoBeavis
05-04-2012, 01:42 PM
<object width="512" height="288"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/VBcI9MPbxNfq-xjkKUtEXg"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/VBcI9MPbxNfq-xjkKUtEXg" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="512" height="288" allowFullScreen="true"></embed></object>

broncocalijohn
05-04-2012, 01:47 PM
See my avatar and tag line under it. Some don't understand it.

hambone13
05-04-2012, 01:47 PM
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ghsuk6GiEN8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

g6matty
05-04-2012, 01:57 PM
Ben Dover and Mike Hawk

hambone13
05-04-2012, 01:59 PM
<object width="512" height="288"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/VBcI9MPbxNfq-xjkKUtEXg"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/VBcI9MPbxNfq-xjkKUtEXg" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="512" height="288" allowFullScreen="true"></embed></object>

Hilarious! I've never seen that but I just don't think you get it ^5

schaaf
05-04-2012, 02:00 PM
When I was in junior high we found one person in Montana named Mike Hunt and we prank called him but he already had restricted calls disabled. I don't think we were the first kids to try prank callin him

broncosteven
05-04-2012, 02:04 PM
I was always partial to Jack Mehoff

BroncoBeavis
05-04-2012, 02:04 PM
Hilarious! I've never seen that but I just don't think you get it ^5

I try not to think too much about these things. You mention funny names and I think of 3 things.

1. The Simpsons
2. This SNL Skit and
3. Congressman (former) Richard Swett.

Heyneck
05-04-2012, 02:22 PM
I don't know but on Horrible Bosses when Jamie Foxx character comes up to the bunch and says his name is Mother***ah Jones... I almost flipped out of my chair!

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/uuUR0LksFaE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

hambone13
05-04-2012, 02:38 PM
I try not to think too much about these things. You mention funny names and I think of 3 things.

1. The Simpsons
2. This SNL Skit and
3. Congressman (former) Richard Swett.

Understood and I was being sarcastic when I said you don't get it. I certainly don't spent my nights pondering it either but it's damn funny with the right timing. The only reason the topic came up is due to my situational story on the OP. Dick sweat is definitely a keeper. Awesome.

DenverBrit
05-04-2012, 03:17 PM
See my avatar and tag line under it. Some don't understand it.

This should give some a further clue. :)

Captain 'Dre
05-04-2012, 04:23 PM
Ben Dover and Mike Hawk

Mike Hunt and Dick Hertz

Captain 'Dre
05-04-2012, 04:26 PM
I went to middle school with a guy named Larry Offenstein.

Yes... his father's name was 'Jack'.

Really.

Conklin
05-04-2012, 04:46 PM
Haywood Jablowmee

DenverBrit
05-04-2012, 06:08 PM
Teresa Green. She was a cute as the name.

Shananahan
05-04-2012, 06:20 PM
This is pretty much all you need on the subject:

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/RFHlJ2voJHY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Archedamian
05-04-2012, 06:34 PM
Went to school with a Mike Cox. Say it fast.

Vegas_Bronco
05-04-2012, 06:47 PM
Best headline ever was last year when 'boehner calling for weiner resignation'....i laffed all day at work and at home...and finally my wife said 'how you old are you...14?' I replied with, 'only if your my jr high teacher'. Boehner weiner...it was onnnnnn!

http://m.gawker.com/5811959/boehner-calls-for-weiners-resignation-as-entire-nation-snickers

Read comments below for richard schwett

Shananahan
05-04-2012, 06:49 PM
The maturity level of this board disgusts me.

Archer81
05-04-2012, 06:54 PM
My aunt's dad is named Brian Glass. He prefers to go by Jack...Jack Glass...oi. Also knew a kid growing up on base who was named Dusty Walls. In HS, there was a Chris Titiopa. (titty-opa). Nice guy, but he got called Chris-T alot.

:Broncos:

broncocalijohn
05-04-2012, 10:28 PM
I try not to think too much about these things. You mention funny names and I think of 3 things.

1. The Simpsons
2. This SNL Skit and
3. Congressman (former) Richard Swett.

I would add
4. Dick Armey

Anikai
05-04-2012, 10:33 PM
there's probably a Chiefs fan out there somewhere named Todd Lerfondler

McDman
05-04-2012, 11:00 PM
In the spirit of Rev's "Best TV Shows" thread, I think there could be some validity in this one. There are a lot of jokes out there about "Really Funny Names" such as Richard Cranium = Dick Head, etc. I wrote the following bit in the "Osweiller Tattoo Fail" thread but I think it's a solid introduction to some good comedy and conversation about names and language in general during the off-season.....here's to my favorite Unix Administrator, Poon Tang.....love you!


I was out at soccer practice with my two kids who are 8 and 9. (Yeah, that makes 'em Irish twins. What of it?) I walked in on a conversation with a few of the moms and dads, all of mixed ethnicity including, Irish-American, Mexican-American, Danish-American, Ethiopian-American, etc.

The story teller was a female-American from Canada who had dark enough skin to be Haitian-American but claimed that she got her darker skin from her southern Indian (dot not feather) heritage. Interestingly enough, we had to get all of these details out before anyone could hear this story, in her opinion because she works for the Denver Public School system. Getting on to the actual story....

The discussion was based on all of the new, unique and unusual names that have surfaced over the last generation or so. The Canadian Dot (oh wait, is that racist or just culturally specific adjectives?) continues to describe one of her favorites' which is "Abcde" = "Absedee". We all got a real kick out of that one because there is something clever about it. Then, this this doozie surfaced as her most daunting experience ever, during "roll call" on the first day of school last year.....

She reads, "Le - a" (Official School List of Legal Names). She reads it again and again then ventures to pronounce, "Is 'Leeah' Jenkins here?".

Out of crowd of first day students, in a very irritated voice (This is fourth grade so this obviously is not the first time this little girl has had to struggle through this.) She hears, "IT'S 'LADASHA' dammit!"

I was laughing so hard after I processed the symbol to phonetic relevance that I nearly threw up my granola bar from soccer snack.

Let's not forget elements such as the Bimbo bread company. Those trucks crack me up every time I see them. Have you a contribution?

I've heard a variation of the le-a story before. It is an urban legend.

I do work at a life insurance company and I kid you not we insure a woman named Sweetmeat Brown. I'm not kidding. I laughed the whole day about it.

Stan
05-05-2012, 08:06 AM
A guy I went to school with had the last name of Dick. His mom's name is Aneida. And then there is the basketball player back in the 70's named Fonda Dix. Actually it was spelled "cks" instead of "x". No joke.

huh??
05-05-2012, 11:29 AM
I heard about twins born into an "urban" environment named Orongelo and Lamongelo. Inspired by orange Jell-o and lemon Jell-o.

Shananahan
05-05-2012, 11:39 AM
Let's just use this thread to make fun of other cultures and ethnicities.

hambone13
12-04-2013, 01:54 PM
This is definitely worthy of revitalizing this thread:

http://www.linkedin.com/in/latency

And BTW Shanahana-Jackbastard, this guy is white and American.

Rabb
12-04-2013, 02:08 PM
Dude I went to boot camp with had the last name of Sample.

In boot camp, they call everyone Seaman and then their last name. Yeah, I did a lot of push ups for being immature.

True story.

Powderaddict
12-04-2013, 02:10 PM
This is definitely worthy of revitalizing this thread:

http://www.linkedin.com/in/latency

And BTW Shanahana-Jackbastard, this guy is white and American.

After taking a required sexual harassment course at work, in the feedback section it asked for hobbies. As one of mine I listed "Hard Dikens Cider enthusiast".

ColoradoDarin
12-04-2013, 02:14 PM
Wow, no sign of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Trickle ?

hambone13
12-04-2013, 02:38 PM
Wow, no sign of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Trickle ?

Ha! That's awesome. Never heard of him but will now never forget him..

OABB
12-04-2013, 02:42 PM
Barry macockiner, mike litt.

DivineLegion
12-04-2013, 02:57 PM
Sh1thead. Pronounced sha-theed. Not kidding.

Archer81
12-04-2013, 04:05 PM
My buddy's exgf had a couple of kids after they broke up. The oldest is named Ivan Gage. Youngest is Igor Gustavus.

I wish I was kidding.

:Broncos:

crush17
12-04-2013, 04:11 PM
I knew a kid growing up whose name was Justin Case.

Thanks, mom and dad.

hambone13
12-04-2013, 04:12 PM
My buddy's exgf had a couple of kids after they broke up. The oldest is named Ivan Gage. Youngest is Igor Gustavus.

I wish I was kidding.

:Broncos:

Wow, that's just wrong! Gustavus has gotta be a family name or something.

Arkie
12-04-2013, 04:23 PM
Dickey Nutt coaches Southeast Missouri basketball. His brother Houston Nutt used to coach Arkansas and Ole Miss football.

hambone13
12-05-2013, 02:05 AM
This should give some a further clue. :)

From the Gunny, "Is that some 'Navigational Brown' or does that weiner dog have a HUGE dick?"

hambone13
12-05-2013, 02:12 AM
My aunt's dad is named Brian Glass. He prefers to go by Jack...Jack Glass...oi. Also knew a kid growing up on base who was named Dusty Walls. In HS, there was a Chris Titiopa. (titty-opa). Nice guy, but he got called Chris-T alot.

:Broncos:

R, R, r.....

hambone13
12-05-2013, 02:15 AM
I've heard a variation of the le-a story before. It is an urban legend.

I do work at a life insurance company and I kid you not we insure a woman named Sweetmeat Brown. I'm not kidding. I laughed the whole day about it.

It doesn't really matter I guess. It still cracked me up and seems to be enticing to other fantastic comedy. I know I'm biased but this is a pretty good thread.

NYBroncoManiac
12-05-2013, 06:23 AM
How about these:

Richard Head (http://www.linkedin.com/vsearch/p?orig=SEO_SN&firstName=RICHARD&lastName=head&trk=SEO_SN) (I know it's like Richard Cranium, but you just KNOW these guys were called Dick in School.

And I can't believe no one mentioned Ben Gay (http://www.pro-football-reference.com/players/G/GayxBe00.htm)

CHEF LUIGI
12-05-2013, 08:03 AM
This should give some a further clue. :)im still laughing at this poor dogs distinctive markings!
his name has to be "spot"

sgbfan
12-05-2013, 08:13 AM
There was a Chaffin Cox at my school.

DenverBrit
12-05-2013, 08:19 AM
From the Gunny, "Is that some 'Navigational Brown' or does that weiner dog have a HUGE dick?"

"I believe it's an x-ray, Gunny" :)

DenverBrit
12-05-2013, 08:19 AM
Jack Imhoff.

DenverBrit
12-05-2013, 08:20 AM
im still laughing at this poor dogs distinctive markings!
his name has to be "spot"

I hope the didn't call him 'Dick.' ;D

hambone13
12-05-2013, 02:41 PM
"I believe it's an x-ray, Gunny" :)

Hilarious!:strong:

fontaine
12-05-2013, 03:46 PM
I knew a guy (turned into a good friend actually) who first introduced himself as Fokker (his first name).

He was German so he obviously had a heavy accent. Thinking I had mishread, I politely started to pronounce it as F-oh-ker (as in "Folk" music).

Fokker quickly corrected me saying "No, it's pronounced F-ah-ker."

I got along great with him after that! :)

hambone13
12-06-2013, 12:31 PM
I knew a guy (turned into a good friend actually) who first introduced himself as Fokker (his first name).

He was German so he obviously had a heavy accent. Thinking I had mishread, I politely started to pronounce it as F-oh-ker (as in "Folk" music).

Fokker quickly corrected me saying "No, it's pronounced F-ah-ker."

I got along great with him after that! :)

I have a buddy who bought a house on Gaylord street here in Big D and I still call him Focker!

Crushaholic
12-06-2013, 12:50 PM
Wow, no sign of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Trickle ?

He was the first person that came to mind, but I thought it would have been rude to make fun of the deceased...

hambone13
12-06-2013, 01:00 PM
He was the first person that came to mind, but I thought it would have been rude to make fun of the deceased...

If he's in that happy a place, I'm sure a bit of laughter is all he would hope would be happening in his wake. Then again, there are cultures where discussing the deceased is taboo. However, if we get so sensitive about the "Taboo" of every culture we'll never make any progress as a race. We need to learn to laugh at and with one another, IMO.

fontaine
12-06-2013, 02:43 PM
Weixing Dong.

Had to talk to this guy for about an hour on a phone call for insurance. It took everything I had not to burst out laughing.

hambone13
12-06-2013, 04:19 PM
Weixing Dong.

Had to talk to this guy for about an hour on a phone call for insurance. It took everything I had not to burst out laughing.

I don't know how to process/pronounce that other than the "dong" part.

fontaine
12-06-2013, 05:08 PM
I don't know how to process/pronounce that other than the "dong" part.

Waxing Dong

Hilarious!

LonghornBronco
12-07-2013, 10:42 AM
Long Duk Dong of 16 candles fame.

hambone13
12-07-2013, 02:07 PM
Waxing Dong

Hilarious!

LOL, my French and Asian pronunciation is challenged. I own the window licking trophy on the short bus in that arena......

Funny stuff!

hambone13
12-07-2013, 02:07 PM
Long Duk Dong of 16 candles fame.

Good pull! It took way to long to come up....

J