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Bronco Vixen
04-14-2012, 08:48 PM
But don't they kind of suck the life out of you?

I have a 3 month old who hasn't sh*t in 6 days, and a 4 year old, who insists on being referred to as an Easter egg.

Soul officially bled dry...

Drunken.Broncoholic
04-14-2012, 08:52 PM
But don't they kind of suck the life out of you?

I have a 3 month old who hasn't sh*t in 6 days, and a 4 year old, who insists on being referred to as an Easter egg.

Soul officially bled dry...

An Easter egg. That's pretty funny. When they hit the teens you'll be lookin back on these days, wishing you had a Deloreon with a flux capacitor.

Taco John
04-14-2012, 08:55 PM
Especially at that age... All things considered, you've got them ideally spaced apart. IMO, 4 years difference is perfect (that's what my kids are).

Sorry to hear about the bowel troubles with your baby. We went throu probably 8-12 weeks of diarrhea last year with a 1 year old. Not fun...

snowspot66
04-14-2012, 08:56 PM
An Easter egg. That's pretty funny. When they hit the teens you'll be lookin back on these days, wishing you had a Deloreon with a flux capacitor.

But not counting the days between ****s of anybody but yourself. There's a trade off.

Requiem
04-14-2012, 08:59 PM
Humans are interesting creatures. Take a deep breath and relax. The OM is here for all your needs.

SouthStndJunkie
04-14-2012, 09:00 PM
We've got one daughter, who will turn 3 in May.

Being a dad is awesome, but props to the parents who are raising more than one, because raising one kid is a lot of damn work.....rewarding, but a lot of work.

You get a little perspective and even more respect for your parents when you realize all that goes into raising a child properly and giving them all the love and other things they need to grow up and eventually go out on their own.

If I wasn't 40 years old, my wife and I probably have a 2nd kid, but she is 39 and if we are/were going to have a 2nd one, it would have to be really soon....and I don't see that happening.

I would absolutely love to have one boy and one girl.

We'll see....but I think we will probably only have Katie, but we have 2 dogs that act as her brother and sister and look out for her.

Blueflame
04-14-2012, 09:03 PM
But don't they kind of suck the life out of you?

I have a 3 month old who hasn't sh*t in 6 days, and a 4 year old, who insists on being referred to as an Easter egg.

Soul officially bled dry...

There were days when the twins were really little... when sleep-deprivation had become a way of life for us (they were like a tag-team; when one was asleep, the other was usually wide awake). Nothing in life is more worthwhile than being a parent though. Hang in there...

Bronco Vixen
04-14-2012, 09:05 PM
An Easter egg. That's pretty funny. When they hit the teens you'll be lookin back on these days, wishing you had a Deloreon with a flux capacitor.

When my daughter hits the teens, I will be posting from the inpatient psych ward after a self inflicted frontal lobotomy.

TheReverend
04-14-2012, 09:09 PM
Big handsome's all stuffed up, eh?

Bronco Vixen
04-14-2012, 09:09 PM
Especially at that age... All things considered, you've got them ideally spaced apart. IMO, 4 years difference is perfect (that's what my kids are).

Sorry to hear about the bowel troubles with your baby. We went throu probably 8-12 weeks of diarrhea last year with a 1 year old. Not fun...

So I'm comforted to hear that the 4 year difference is working for you all. I'm afraid that my daughter will crush his soul with the fingernail painting and hair styling requests. We might as well sign him up
for male figure skating right now.

Bronco Vixen
04-14-2012, 09:10 PM
But not counting the days between ****s of anybody but yourself. There's a trade off.

Excellent point. I don't think I've sh*t in 4 months...

TheReverend
04-14-2012, 09:11 PM
So I'm comforted to hear that the 4 year difference is working for you all. I'm afraid that my daughter will crush his soul with the fingernail painting and hair styling requests. We might as well sign him up
for male figure skating right now.

Interesting... you're probably better off running a loop of gay porn in his room to try and turn him off from it by the time he hits his teenage years.

Bronco Vixen
04-14-2012, 09:11 PM
Humans are interesting creatures. Take a deep breath and relax. The OM is here for all your needs.

From waxing poetic on viable CB's, to child rearing (he he, I just said rearing), advice, the OM is here for you.

Swedish Extrovert
04-14-2012, 09:14 PM
But don't they kind of suck the life out of you?

I have a 3 month old who hasn't sh*t in 6 days, and a 4 year old, who insists on being referred to as an Easter egg.

Soul officially bled dry...

This post reminds me of this failbook:

http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/funny-facebook-fails-how-the-other-half-lives.gif

Drunken.Broncoholic
04-14-2012, 09:17 PM
So I'm comforted to hear that the 4 year difference is working for you all. I'm afraid that my daughter will crush his soul with the fingernail painting and hair styling requests. We might as well sign him up
for male figure skating right now.

Or he can just hit on all her friends when he's old enough. It's always great when the brother is a few years younger than the sis.

Bronco Vixen
04-14-2012, 09:18 PM
We've got one daughter, who will turn 3 in May.

Being a dad is awesome, but props to the parents who are raising more than one, because raising one kid is a lot of damn work.....rewarding, but a lot of work.

You get a little perspective and even more respect for your parents when you realize all that goes into raising a child properly and giving them all the love and other things they need to grow up and eventually go out on their own.

If I wasn't 40 years old, my wife and I probably have a 2nd kid, but she is 39 and if we are/were going to have a 2nd one, it would have to be really soon....and I don't see that happening.

I would absolutely love to have one boy and one girl.

We'll see....but I think we will probably only have Katie, but we have 2 dogs that act as her brother and sister and look out for her.

First of all and most importantly, you've named her Katie, which ensures she will be a bad ass! :) secondly, modern science is amazing. We had our second late. Mostly because I couldn't fathom an only child/diva girl without anyone to step up to her nonsense. Believe me, anything is possible these days. And there is the added bonus of being as old as dirt when they hit the "problematic years"

Bronco Vixen
04-14-2012, 09:21 PM
There were days when the twins were really little... when sleep-deprivation had become a way of life for us (they were like a tag-team; when one was asleep, the other was usually wide awake). Nothing in life is more worthwhile than being a parent though. Hang in there...

Automatic purple heart awarded to parents of multiples. I have two (but only one in diapers - KEY point), a dog/horse, and fish and I'm considering drinking myself to sleep nightly.

Bronco Vixen
04-14-2012, 09:23 PM
Big handsome's all stuffed up, eh?

Yep, big poppa is clogged up and cranky. My life rules. I think I'd actually opt for "the rrhea" right now Taco.

Bronco Vixen
04-14-2012, 09:25 PM
Interesting... you're probably better off running a loop of gay porn in his room to try and turn him off from it by the time he hits his teenage years.

No question. The smile that followed the "anal stimulation" of the K Y jellied Q tip is indelibly etched in my mind. Not that there's anything wrong with that Chris :)

McDman
04-14-2012, 09:29 PM
Not sure I can ever have kids, they are gross.

When they're babies they're balls of ****, piss, and gas.

When they're toddlers they are dumb as sh*t. I mean I ate a giant moth when I was that age, wtf was wrong me?

Pre teens are little grease balls. If it's a girl they will inevitably start hating their mom. If it's a boy they'll start taking extra long showers and become awkward.

Teenagers are a-holes.

errand
04-14-2012, 09:32 PM
The one thing about having a daughter and a son is he may get upset and call her all kinds of derogatory names.......

But nobody else will....

Bronco Vixen
04-14-2012, 09:33 PM
Or he can just hit on all her friends when he's old enough. It's always great when the brother is a few years younger than the sis.

Excellent point. And quite telling that my best parenting advice in weeks has come from "Drunken Broncholic.";)

gunns
04-14-2012, 09:34 PM
Automatic purple heart awarded to parents of multiples. I have two (but only one in diapers - KEY point), a dog/horse, and fish and I'm considering drinking myself to sleep nightly.

Oh darling, these are the easy times, reflectively. Wait till they're teenagers. Two little sweethearts who suddenly look at you as the dumb one and know it all. I had 6 and now people ask me how I did it and I get the chills. I don't know. God is good that way. Like labor pains, you bury the bad times, but occassionally the memories come forward. Chills......

Just remember, this too shall pass.

I should have had puppies. I kid, I adore them now that they are adults and going through what I did. Pay back, it's hilarious!

Bronco Vixen
04-14-2012, 09:36 PM
Not sure I can ever have kids, they are gross.

When they're babies they're balls of ****, piss, and gas.

When they're toddlers they are dumb as sh*t. I mean I ate a giant moth when I was that age, wtf was wrong me?

Pre teens are little grease balls. If it's a girl they will inevitably start hating their mom. If it's a boy they'll start taking extra long showers and become awkward.

Teenagers are a-holes.

Kids are inherently gross. Balls of ****, piss, gas, and vomit.

I'm not sure they ever grow out of being dumb as sh*t. A giant moth would be considered nutrition at this point for us.

Girls are genetically programmed to hate their mom and boys are always awkward but you will never have to fear prolonged showers.

Rohirrim
04-14-2012, 09:37 PM
But don't they kind of suck the life out of you?

I have a 3 month old who hasn't sh*t in 6 days, and a 4 year old, who insists on being referred to as an Easter egg.

Soul officially bled dry...

I have three teenage boys. It hasn't even begun. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Bronco Vixen
04-14-2012, 09:38 PM
The one thing about having a daughter and a son is he may get upset and call her all kinds of derogatory names.......

But nobody else will....

Very good point. Especially if he's built like a keg of beer/water tower...at 3 months. Unless of course he's wearing pink toenail polish and braids in his hair.

ghwk
04-14-2012, 09:39 PM
They will bring out everything that is strong in you and they will expose every character flaw you have. You will only remember the character flaw moments.:~ohyah!:

Bronco Vixen
04-14-2012, 09:40 PM
Oh darling, these are the easy times, reflectively. Wait till they're teenagers. Two little sweethearts who suddenly look at you as the dumb one and know it all. I had 6 and now people ask me how I did it and I get the chills. I don't know. God is good that way. Like labor pains, you bury the bad times, but occassionally the memories come forward. Chills......

Just remember, this too shall pass.

I should have had puppies. I kid, I adore them now that they are adults and going through what I did. Pay back, it's hilarious!

SIX? Dear God woman, I wouldn't wish that litter on my pup. Thanks for making me feel ridiculous about complaining about two, though ;). Seriously though, six? I don't care if you know nothing about the Denver Broncos, I will forever listen to anything/everything you say sister. Six everyone. Six.

Bronco Vixen
04-14-2012, 09:42 PM
I have three teenage boys. It hasn't even begun. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Cry me a river Roh. I'd much rather worry about 3 dongs than 300.

Bronco Vixen
04-14-2012, 09:42 PM
They will bring out everything that is strong in you and they will expose every character flaw you have. You will only remember the character flaw moments.:~ohyah!:

Phew. Thank goodness I have no flaws.

Blueflame
04-14-2012, 09:51 PM
Oh darling, these are the easy times, reflectively. Wait till they're teenagers. Two little sweethearts who suddenly look at you as the dumb one and know it all. I had 6 and now people ask me how I did it and I get the chills. I don't know. God is good that way. Like labor pains, you bury the bad times, but occassionally the memories come forward. Chills......

Just remember, this too shall pass.

I should have had puppies. I kid, I adore them now that they are adults and going through what I did. Pay back, it's hilarious!

High five from another "mom-of-6" (we have 4 sons and 2 daughters).

gunns
04-14-2012, 09:52 PM
SIX? Dear God woman, I wouldn't wish that litter on my pup. Thanks for making me feel ridiculous about complaining about two, though ;). Seriously though, six? I don't care if you know nothing about the Denver Broncos, I will forever listen to anything/everything you say sister. Six everyone. Six.

Didn't mean to make you feel ridiculous. There are days (weeks) of what you are going through now. And it is tough, hair pulling tough. But when your 17 year old daughter is telling you her high school drop out boyfriend who hasn't had a job in two years is so great and she may put college off for a year to help him get a tatoo parlor going, you'll smile at these times wistfully. Otherwise you'll cry....and drink more

gunns
04-14-2012, 09:53 PM
High five from another "mom-of-6" (we have 4 sons and 2 daughters).

That's what I have also. But no twins. I bow down to you for that one. Damn.

Bronco Vixen
04-14-2012, 09:55 PM
High five from another "mom-of-6" (we have 4 sons and 2 daughters).


Dear mother of god, BF, anytime you can field a starting five you need to be re-cog-nized. Not that girls can actually play b ball though. Still, I am impressed. But for future reference... the cho cho is not a clown car. ;)

Blueflame
04-14-2012, 09:57 PM
That's what I have also. But no twins. I bow down to you for that one. Damn.

^5 The twins were the last...and that was definitely not a fun pregnancy. My husband said it's time to stop when they start arriving by 2's.

Bronco Vixen
04-14-2012, 09:57 PM
Didn't mean to make you feel ridiculous. There are days (weeks) of what you are going through now. And it is tough, hair pulling tough. But when your 17 year old daughter is telling you her high school drop out boyfriend who hasn't had a job in two years is so great and she may put college off for a year to help him get a tatoo parlor going, you'll smile at these times wistfully. Otherwise you'll cry....and drink more

Actually, I think that would fall under the "Stand Your Ground" law in FL. So fire away. (too soon?)

broncocalijohn
04-14-2012, 10:15 PM
But don't they kind of suck the life out of you?

I have a 3 month old who hasn't sh*t in 6 days, and a 4 year old, who insists on being referred to as an Easter egg.

Soul officially bled dry...

Solutions:
1) Give the 3 month old Ambien. He will be ****ting and luckily he isnt old enough to crawl to the basement.
2) Insist that the 4 year old is not an Easter Egg or you will make him watch Ghostbusters.


I have two boys 16 months apart. Contrary to what TJ stated, 4 years apart is too far if given a choice. My boys play on the same soccer team (the youngest plays up one division for 3 years until they go U12 which is 11 and 10 year olds), go to the same school for almost all their years with them only one grade apart, the fights are even, they wear the same clothes and no worry of hand me downs out of style being only one size different and all the same friends. It was tough when they were both in diapers and the youngest loved to get up early in the morning (he is the reason why we never had 3 kids) but I wouldn't change it for the world. The toughness was probably 3 years but the reward will last a lifetime of them being closer as friends as well as brothers. You don't get that all the time when siblings are far apart.

Blueflame
04-14-2012, 10:22 PM
Dear mother of god, BF, anytime you can field a starting five you need to be re-cog-nized. Not that girls can actually play b ball though. Still, I am impressed. But for future reference... the cho cho is not a clown car. ;)

Six kids were a lot of work... I honestly don't know how families like the Duggars get by.

McDman
04-14-2012, 10:58 PM
Also, I can't imagine having a daughter. Once she gets to her teenage years I'd be so paranoid about guys being around her.

RaiderH8r
04-14-2012, 11:13 PM
But don't they kind of suck the life out of you?

I have a 3 month old who hasn't sh*t in 6 days, and a 4 year old, who insists on being referred to as an Easter egg.

Soul officially bled dry...

I feel ya. 4 is the money age n my mind but trying to leave the house and mine won't put his shoes on and keeps shaking his butt while calling me a baby head and all I want to do is get the family to our destination less than 30 minutes late for once while his 1 yr old sister has just crapped up her back and screaming loud enough to shatter an atom is enough to make you say, "**** this. Jail can't be this bad."

Then I see them sleeping and the mug is enough to trick my Dumb ass into dragging my ass out of bed to do it all again. Damn kids.

RaiderH8r
04-14-2012, 11:14 PM
Cry me a river Roh. I'd much rather worry about 3 dongs than 300.

This is why it is critical to own a fully automatic weapon.

broncocalijohn
04-14-2012, 11:18 PM
Also, I can't imagine having a daughter. Once she gets to her teenage years I'd be so paranoid about guys being around her.

My feelings exactly. I know what those teenage boys want because I wanted the same thing. If you have daughters, best to have them a tad ugly until they are 18. Red Heads seem to have this problem early on and then they get smoking hot. (Oh, here comes Blue Flame on this one)

TerrElway
04-14-2012, 11:21 PM
Not sure I can ever have kids, they are gross.

When they're babies they're balls of ****, piss, and gas.

When they're toddlers they are dumb as sh*t. I mean I ate a giant moth when I was that age, wtf was wrong me?

Pre teens are little grease balls. If it's a girl they will inevitably start hating their mom. If it's a boy they'll start taking extra long showers and become awkward.

Teenagers are a-holes.

Teenagers can **** off and die. I have two of them. They went from being great kids to super douche bags. Hopefully they will return to being human beings in a few years. Right now they are money sucking, soul destroying jackwagons with little redeeming value.

McDman
04-14-2012, 11:26 PM
My feelings exactly. I know what those teenage boys want because I wanted the same thing. If you have daughters, best to have them a tad ugly until they are 18. Red Heads seem to have this problem early on and then they get smoking hot. (Oh, here comes Blue Flame on this one)

If I have a girl I'm going to give her as much candy and **** as she wants when she is little so she will be a hog in high school, problem solved.

SouthStndJunkie
04-14-2012, 11:53 PM
If I have a girl I'm going to give her as much candy and **** as she wants when she is little so she will be a hog in high school, problem solved.

bwahaha.

Blueflame
04-15-2012, 12:47 AM
My feelings exactly. I know what those teenage boys want because I wanted the same thing. If you have daughters, best to have them a tad ugly until they are 18. Red Heads seem to have this problem early on and then they get smoking hot. (Oh, here comes Blue Flame on this one)

I can't begin to express just how relieved I'm gonna be when my daughters are both married. "Ugly" is not an adjective that's ever been used to describe them... well, except by their brothers quite a few years ago.

Archer81
04-15-2012, 01:05 AM
Teenagers can **** off and die. I have two of them. They went from being great kids to super douche bags. Hopefully they will return to being human beings in a few years. Right now they are money sucking, soul destroying jackwagons with little redeeming value.


My mother says my brothers and I became human just as we were leaving the house. So apparently this is a universal thing.


:Broncos:

fontaine
04-15-2012, 02:22 AM
But don't they kind of suck the life out of you?

I have a 3 month old who hasn't sh*t in 6 days, and a 4 year old, who insists on being referred to as an Easter egg.

Soul officially bled dry...

I can't speak for others but no my child does not suck the life out of me.

It's the opposite. My child makes me realize how blessed I am to have a wonderful family and it's my responsibility to be a better husband/father every day.

It's great.

Jetmeck
04-15-2012, 02:43 AM
[QUOTE=gunns;3557256]Oh darling, these are the easy times, reflectively. Wait till they're teenagers. Two little sweethearts who suddenly look at you as the dumb one and know it all. I had 6 and now people ask me how I did it and I get the chills. I don't know. God is good that way. Like labor pains, you bury the bad times, but occassionally the memories come forward. Chills......

Just remember, this too shall pass.
\quote/




6....Holy chit I'd shoot myself
.................the 2 I got ................

13 year old thinks she knows it all and the 10 year old boy is the grossest little animal on the planet..............

Someone remind me quick why kids are soooooooo great ?
lol

ghwk
04-15-2012, 02:55 AM
I can't speak for others but no my child does not suck the life out of me.

It's the opposite. My child makes me realize how blessed I am to have a wonderful family and it's my responsibility to be a better husband/father every day.

It's great.

Someone is posting while drunk.:~ohyah!:

Dr. Broncenstein
04-15-2012, 03:01 AM
Four kids under the age of five. On family hostage voyage to inlaws in Texas. Can't sleep because two year old won't sleep in packnplay, and insists on some combination of her feet in my face. But it's all good because this morning my mother in law is going to spend all morning in her nighty. The humanity.

ghwk
04-15-2012, 03:15 AM
Four kids under the age of five. On family hostage voyage to inlaws in Texas. Can't sleep because two year old won't sleep in packnplay, and insists on some combination of her feet in my face. But it's all good because this morning my mother in law is going to spend all morning in her nighty. The humanity.

Your post makes me confused about your mother in law.

Dr. Broncenstein
04-15-2012, 03:17 AM
Your post makes me confused about your mother in law.

Lol. If you saw what Im talking about your eyes would bleed.

cutthemdown
04-15-2012, 03:51 AM
We've got one daughter, who will turn 3 in May.

Being a dad is awesome, but props to the parents who are raising more than one, because raising one kid is a lot of damn work.....rewarding, but a lot of work.

You get a little perspective and even more respect for your parents when you realize all that goes into raising a child properly and giving them all the love and other things they need to grow up and eventually go out on their own.

If I wasn't 40 years old, my wife and I probably have a 2nd kid, but she is 39 and if we are/were going to have a 2nd one, it would have to be really soon....and I don't see that happening.

I would absolutely love to have one boy and one girl.

We'll see....but I think we will probably only have Katie, but we have 2 dogs that act as her brother and sister and look out for her.

You could always adopt. Lots of good healthy kids need parents and a loving home.

cutthemdown
04-15-2012, 03:53 AM
Your post makes me confused about your mother in law.

It's called sarcasm lol!

Broncos_OTM
04-15-2012, 06:38 AM
36 no kids no wife life's great what you talking bout.

Rohirrim
04-15-2012, 07:02 AM
Four kids under the age of five. On family hostage voyage to inlaws in Texas. Can't sleep because two year old won't sleep in packnplay, and insists on some combination of her feet in my face. But it's all good because this morning my mother in law is going to spend all morning in her nighty. The humanity.

Ha! You deserve it, Griswold.

Kaylore
04-15-2012, 07:28 AM
My wife and I discuss poop quite a bit now with an infant. We track our daughter's cycle of poo and discuss it's consistency. Things like that are the funny things being a parent does to you.

tesnyde
04-15-2012, 07:44 AM
Solutions:
1) Give the 3 month old Ambien. He will be ****ting and luckily he isnt old enough to crawl to the basement.
2) Insist that the 4 year old is not an Easter Egg or you will make him watch Ghostbusters.


I have two boys 16 months apart. Contrary to what TJ stated, 4 years apart is too far if given a choice. My boys play on the same soccer team (the youngest plays up one division for 3 years until they go U12 which is 11 and 10 year olds), go to the same school for almost all their years with them only one grade apart, the fights are even, they wear the same clothes and no worry of hand me downs out of style being only one size different and all the same friends. It was tough when they were both in diapers and the youngest loved to get up early in the morning (he is the reason why we never had 3 kids) but I wouldn't change it for the world. The toughness was probably 3 years but the reward will last a lifetime of them being closer as friends as well as brothers. You don't get that all the time when siblings are far apart.


My kids are 5 years apart.....we didn't want to have multiple college tuition bills at the same time. My own parents had the same plan but it didn't work out when my brother and I showed up together.

broncswin
04-15-2012, 08:00 AM
High five from another "mom-of-6" (we have 4 sons and 2 daughters).

Wow..we have five, an eight year old boy, identical twin boys who are six, a little girl who is four, and an eighteen month old baby girl. The twins were and still are a crazy survival story. I wouldn't Change anything in the world, that has been given to us. They are little life suckers sometimes, but life would be too quiet without them! My wife actually wants one more, so you never know...we are in our early to mid thirties, so it is possible. :yayaya:

broncswin
04-15-2012, 08:05 AM
Four kids under the age of five. On family hostage voyage to inlaws in Texas. Can't sleep because two year old won't sleep in packnplay, and insists on some combination of her feet in my face. But it's all good because this morning my mother in law is going to spend all morning in her nighty. The humanity.

Lmao..sounds like my life! We have five at eight and under and going places can be hell..but I have four hot SIL's to look at, so it's not so bad when we have to stay the night with family...Hilarious!

Goobzilla
04-15-2012, 08:05 AM
Married 22 years, no kids. I admire you parents even though your decision making is suspect :-)

Tombstone RJ
04-15-2012, 08:18 AM
Automatic purple heart awarded to parents of multiples. I have two (but only one in diapers - KEY point), a dog/horse, and fish and I'm considering drinking myself to sleep nightly.

You're only .5 away from an average American family. Keep working at it missy.

broncocalijohn
04-15-2012, 08:25 AM
My kids are 5 years apart.....we didn't want to have multiple college tuition bills at the same time. My own parents had the same plan but it didn't work out when my brother and I showed up together.

See, my kids are going to get full ride scholorships for academic reasons.

Meck77
04-15-2012, 08:57 AM
Teenagers can **** off and die. I have two of them. They went from being great kids to super douche bags. Hopefully they will return to being human beings in a few years. Right now they are money sucking, soul destroying jackwagons with little redeeming value.

Just lock them in a corral and toss them some grain. It's what I do with my kids.

If they move too slow I usually just kick them in their arse a little bit to get them through the gates. If one kid is really problematic Desmond usually cuts their throat and we roast them at a barn party.

*pfft* Raising kids is easy.

On a side note I'm getting hitched in about a month. Maybe in a year or two I'll bump this thread and be able to talk about stinky ass baby poop with you all.

Dr. Broncenstein
04-15-2012, 09:04 AM
Having kids is therapeutic for type A personalities. You go from demanding control over everything (pre kids) to realizing you have control over absolutely nothing.

SouthStndJunkie
04-15-2012, 09:13 AM
Congrats Meck....looks like you took the same route as I did.

I waited to get married until my mid 30's and then had my first kid when I was 37 years old.

I dated my wife for a long time before we got married, but I wanted to travel around and see and do a lot of **** before I got married and had a kid, as I knew my resources and time would be a little more limited after that.

I still hang out with the fellas and know how to have a good time and I'll always take my fishing trip or two every year with my buds, but I'm not able to take 5 or 6 vacations every year like I did for about a 10 year stretch.

I am looking forward to Katie getting a little older and taking family vacations....as that's how I acquired my love of traveling around.

Growing up, some of my favorite memories were the cool trips my parents would take me on. I grew up in Ohio and we would always go fishing for a week up in the middle of nowhere in Canada (parents started taking me on those when I was 5 or 6) and then every summer we would also load up the car or van and head out west for 3 or 4 weeks.

It's going to be a blast getting to spend time with Katie like that.

She will be 3 in May, so my wife and I will probably start her out with a smaller trip this year to the Upper Peninsula in Michigan. Probably rent a cabin for a few days and do some fishing and let her play in the beach on Lake Superior.

delany
04-15-2012, 09:20 AM
Congrats Meck....looks like you took the same route as I did.

I waited to get married until my mid 30's and then had my first kid when I was 37 years old.

I dated my wife for a long time before we got married, but I wanted to travel around and see and do a lot of **** before I got married and had a kid, as I knew my resources and time would be a little more limited after that.

I still hang out with the fellas and know how to have a good time and I'll always take my fishing trip or two every year with my buds, but I'm not able to take 5 or 6 vacations every year like I did for about a 10 year stretch.

I am looking forward to Katie getting a little older and taking family vacations....as that's how I acquired my love of traveling around.

Growing up, some of my favorite memories were the cool trips my parents would take me on. I grew up in Ohio and we would always go fishing for a week up in the middle of nowhere in Canada (parents started taking me on those when I was 5 or 6) and then every summer we would also load up the car or van and head out west for 3 or 4 weeks.

It's going to be a blast getting to spend time with Katie like that.

She will be 3 in May, so my wife and I will probably start her out with a smaller trip this year to the Upper Peninsula in Michigan. Probably rent a cabin for a few days and do some fishing and let her play in the beach on Lake Superior.

You are like my mushroom hunting evil twin.

TonyR
04-15-2012, 09:43 AM
Contrary to what TJ stated, 4 years apart is too far if given a choice.

Agree. I think for same gender children the closer the better (although studies show that a minimum of 2 years is generally best). My boys are about 29 months apart and they'd be lost without each other. Them having a built in playmate/friend is really great.

cutthemdown
04-15-2012, 01:19 PM
My wife and I discuss poop quite a bit now with an infant. We track our daughter's cycle of poo and discuss it's consistency. Things like that are the funny things being a parent does to you.

Meh me and my ex G/F did that over our dog, same thing.

oubronco
04-15-2012, 01:50 PM
Teenagers are a-holes.

This is very true

broncosteven
04-15-2012, 03:08 PM
I have a 9 year old daughter and 4 year old son. My daughter hates my son most of the time though it seems to be a sibiling(sp?) thing. My daughter is a daddy's girl and my son is a momma's boy.

It is nice for the 1st time in 9 years not to have to wipe an ass other than my own, dress them or bathe them they can do it pretty much all on their own.

Yesterday was a good sampling of being a parent. The morning was filled with Carl's swim lesson that my wife took him to and my daughters 1st soccer game of the season. It was very rewarding and fun to watch her out there playing and being a good teammate and hearing the other parents calling her name.

Then we get home and they pick on each other, we have drama about finishing homework and Carl is constantly making car, siren, screeching sounds. I got them to practice the uke but they were fighting over who got to go 1st and how to do it. Then there is a dinner fit followed by some nice quite time before bed. Inbetween all that there is lots of yelling of each others names and multiple seperations but they do get along some of the time.

Then we had some rough thunderstorms until about 3am and Carl ended up in bed with us which made Abby angry because there was no room for her in the bed. At least Carl sleeps like me, my daughter flops around like a fish.

TheReverend
04-15-2012, 03:16 PM
In hindsight, the first several years were miserable. It seemed cutesie at the time, but I have no desire to do it again.

Fortunately, they turn into this:

http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj73/thereverend316/IMG-20120108-01239.jpg

Unfortunately, one day she'll turn into a teenager.

...and I'll go to prison for murdering some boy.

Requiem
04-15-2012, 03:26 PM
I just turned 25 and I'm about to get a vasectomy. I'll let Antonio Cromartie pass on the goods and make up for me being a biological failure.

Bronco Vixen
04-15-2012, 04:00 PM
I feel ya. 4 is the money age n my mind but trying to leave the house and mine won't put his shoes on and keeps shaking his butt while calling me a baby head and all I want to do is get the family to our destination less than 30 minutes late for once while his 1 yr old sister has just crapped up her back and screaming loud enough to shatter an atom is enough to make you say, "**** this. Jail can't be this bad."

Then I see them sleeping and the mug is enough to trick my Dumb ass into dragging my ass out of bed to do it all again. Damn kids.

One has not lived until they've army crawled on the floor of a Conoco after cleaning up a poop girdle on an infant because your daughter locked herself in the stall after insisting that she could do it herself.

The angelic sleeping face of a child is truly more effective than Rohypnol in inducing an amnestic event.

Bronco Vixen
04-15-2012, 04:02 PM
Teenagers can **** off and die. I have two of them. They went from being great kids to super douche bags. Hopefully they will return to being human beings in a few years. Right now they are money sucking, soul destroying jackwagons with little redeeming value.

Now there's the pep talk I needed. So it just keeps getting better.

Bronco Vixen
04-15-2012, 04:02 PM
If I have a girl I'm going to give her as much candy and **** as she wants when she is little so she will be a hog in high school, problem solved.

We considered failing to potty train ours. Same net effect without the eating disorder.

Bronco Vixen
04-15-2012, 04:04 PM
My wife and I discuss poop quite a bit now with an infant. We track our daughter's cycle of poo and discuss it's consistency. Things like that are the funny things being a parent does to you.

I'll see your yellow seedy Star of India entree and raise you an 18" poopsnake with the consistency of toothpaste.

Bronco Vixen
04-15-2012, 04:06 PM
Wow..we have five, an eight year old boy, identical twin boys who are six, a little girl who is four, and an eighteen month old baby girl. The twins were and still are a crazy survival story. I wouldn't Change anything in the world, that has been given to us. They are little life suckers sometimes, but life would be too quiet without them! My wife actually wants one more, so you never know...we are in our early to mid thirties, so it is possible. :yayaya:

You all are some fertile bastages! Between broncswin, Doc, and the ladies, the maners are giving several small African countries a run for their money in terms of population growth rate.

Bronco Vixen
04-15-2012, 04:07 PM
You're only .5 away from an average American family. Keep working at it missy.

My 3 month old teletubby may be considered 1.5 so I'm already there.

broncosteven
04-15-2012, 04:35 PM
In hindsight, the first several years were miserable. It seemed cutesie at the time, but I have no desire to do it again.

Fortunately, they turn into this:

http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj73/thereverend316/IMG-20120108-01239.jpg

Unfortunately, one day she'll turn into a teenager.

...and I'll go to prison for murdering some boy.

Why the Brandon Marshall jersey?

Dr. Broncenstein
04-15-2012, 05:13 PM
I've been grappling with the idea that someday boys will come calling. "I know where to stab you to make your life a living hell for about 30 days, and then you'll die" is going to be the standard warning.

bombay
04-15-2012, 05:30 PM
When my daughter was 6 or 7 she could tell me from 3 blocks away who was batting for the Rockies by their walk up music (Belliard's up!). Now she won't go to a game with me at 17.

broncosteven
04-15-2012, 07:59 PM
When my daughter was 6 or 7 she could tell me from 3 blocks away who was batting for the Rockies by their walk up music (Belliard's up!). Now she won't go to a game with me at 17.

I am enjoying watching football, hockey, and baseball with mine while she will let me, I figure when she starts getting into girlie stuff my son will be in full on boy mode.

broncosteven
04-15-2012, 08:00 PM
I've been grappling with the idea that someday boys will come calling. "I know where to stab you to make your life a living hell for about 30 days, and then you'll die" is going to be the standard warning.

I plan on boring them to death with stories about Gene Kranz.

MplsBronco
04-15-2012, 08:16 PM
Great thread. Had to chime in. My daughter is 3, my son is 2. 14 months apart. Been married 4 years. Had my bachelor party the Thursday before my wedding and that's when the mrs told me she was pregnant with the first (she at least waited until I got home that night). Daughter was then 5 months old and the mrs told me she thought she was pregnant again. I thought that was impossible. Turns out definitely possible.

After nearly 3 years of no sleep, finally pulled both kids into our bedroom where they sleep on a queen airmattress together. This at least keeps them out of out bed 90% of the time and they actually sleep thru the night sometimes. Hell, you got to do what you got to do. Love life still struggles. Who has the time or the energy? It used to be nice to have those morning sessions, not anymore when these hellians are up at 6.

My biggest thing now is I have been sick for a month. Going to the doctor tomorrow because I think I have strep, daughter was diagnosed on Friday. I had strep about 9 months ago as well. Haven't had strep in years before this. Now it get that, the stomach flu, colds and all kinds of other BS because they are germ factories.

broncocalijohn
04-15-2012, 08:30 PM
I just turned 25 and I'm about to get a vasectomy. I'll let Antonio Cromartie pass on the goods and make up for me being a biological failure.

Did his thred give you the idea? :giggle:

Dont do it! My cousin swore off women when they uttered the words "I love you" and never thought of marriage so of course no children. He got married at 40 and has two daughters 6 and 4. His ife changed and yours can too. Reverse is a beatch so just protect yourself until you are in your mid 30s to make that type of decision.

broncosteven
04-15-2012, 08:31 PM
Great thread. Had to chime in. My daughter is 3, my son is 2. 14 months apart. Been married 4 years. Had my bachelor party the Thursday before my wedding and that's when the mrs told me she was pregnant with the first (she at least waited until I got home that night). Daughter was then 5 months old and the mrs told me she thought she was pregnant again. I thought that was impossible. Turns out definitely possible.

After nearly 3 years of no sleep, finally pulled both kids into our bedroom where they sleep on a queen airmattress together. This at least keeps them out of out bed 90% of the time and they actually sleep thru the night sometimes. Hell, you got to do what you got to do. Love life still struggles. Who has the time or the energy? It used to be nice to have those morning sessions, not anymore when these hellians are up at 6.

My biggest thing now is I have been sick for a month. Going to the doctor tomorrow because I think I have strep, daughter was diagnosed on Friday. I had strep about 9 months ago as well. Haven't had strep in years before this. Now it get that, the stomach flu, colds and all kinds of other BS because they are germ factories.

Are you Irish? Don't they call that Irish twins?

We were ok for a few months until daycare, actually my daughter has developed pretty good immune system I think she has only missed 1 day of school in 3 years and counting. If she gets sick it is for less than 24 hours. We get the colds and the flu bugs that make their rounds but it usually doesn't slow them down much.

MplsBronco
04-15-2012, 08:34 PM
Are you Irish? Don't they call that Irish twins?

We were ok for a few months until daycare, actually my daughter has developed pretty good immune system I think she has only missed 1 day of school in 3 years and counting. If she gets sick it is for less than 24 hours. We get the colds and the flu bugs that make their rounds but it usually doesn't slow them down much.

Yeah I am Irish but Irish twins are within the same year.

It is a daycare thing. They just pass this sh^t around and I for some reason always get it.

When you brought up daycare, it just made me flash back to my 2011 daycare statement of $28,000. No wonder we are broke.

Dr. Broncenstein
04-15-2012, 09:34 PM
I plan on boring them to death with stories about Gene Kranz.

Hahaha awesome.

broncosteven
04-15-2012, 09:45 PM
Yeah I am Irish but Irish twins are within the same year.

It is a daycare thing. They just pass this sh^t around and I for some reason always get it.

When you brought up daycare, it just made me flash back to my 2011 daycare statement of $28,000. No wonder we are broke.

I was thinking the other day over the last 9 years we could have bought 2 BMW 5 series by now.

Our daycare was gouging us so much they lowered our rate prorated over a year to $2k. It is what you pay to ensure that the kids don't get fondeled or abused or worse. They have helped with schooling prep and keep them safe from nutjobs with guns but nothing is perfect.

alkemical
04-16-2012, 06:24 AM
I am thinking of going to a sperm bank to wage war against mass breeders.

TheReverend
04-16-2012, 06:47 AM
Why the Brandon Marshall jersey?

Because he sets such a good example with women.

Jason in LA
04-16-2012, 07:03 AM
An Easter egg. That's pretty funny. When they hit the teens you'll be lookin back on these days, wishing you had a Deloreon with a flux capacitor.

Ain't that the truth. When they are younger, there are a lot of annoying things they do, but as teenagers, they'll stress you the hell out. I've been trying to wake up my 16 year old son for the last 30 minutes so he can get ready for school. And he stresses me the hell out with his grades. He passes all of his classes, but he needs to get his gpa up, and then I'll get a report card coming home with a comment that he doesn't complete all assignments. Then I have to go nuts, then he'll do some work, but then go back to old habits of not turning in all his work. Now I have him bring home a weekly progress report so I can keep track of what is going on. With college right around the corner, he needs those grades, but he doesn't seem to always get it. It stresses me out!!!!

ol#7
04-16-2012, 07:53 AM
This thread is making me slap my head going WTF have I done.

I have 5 girls, last two were twins, now all teenagers.

Divorced a couple of years ago, Fiancee and I are expecting another girl in 5 weeks.

I can PM my address and leave a key outside for anyone that wants to end my misery now. I have clearly made some poor life choices and wasted a ton of $$$$$$.

Meck77
04-16-2012, 08:27 AM
Congrats Meck....looks like you took the same route as I did.

I waited to get married until my mid 30's and then had my first kid when I was 37 years old.

I dated my wife for a long time before we got married, but I wanted to travel around and see and do a lot of **** before I got married and had a kid, as I knew my resources and time would be a little more limited after that.

I still hang out with the fellas and know how to have a good time and I'll always take my fishing trip or two every year with my buds, but I'm not able to take 5 or 6 vacations every year like I did for about a 10 year stretch.

I am looking forward to Katie getting a little older and taking family vacations....as that's how I acquired my love of traveling around.

Growing up, some of my favorite memories were the cool trips my parents would take me on. I grew up in Ohio and we would always go fishing for a week up in the middle of nowhere in Canada (parents started taking me on those when I was 5 or 6) and then every summer we would also load up the car or van and head out west for 3 or 4 weeks.

It's going to be a blast getting to spend time with Katie like that.

She will be 3 in May, so my wife and I will probably start her out with a smaller trip this year to the Upper Peninsula in Michigan. Probably rent a cabin for a few days and do some fishing and let her play in the beach on Lake Superior.

Thanks Junkie. My dad was 50 years old when he had me so my perspective on "the way things should be" is a little different. How people have kids at 20 years old just blows me away!

Good luck with the first fishing trip! That's exciting dude. If she doesn't like to fish I hear you can just duct tape a pole to their arm. :~ohyah!:

bendog
04-16-2012, 08:49 AM
I am thinking of going to a sperm bank to wage war against mass breeders.

Did ya see that news item of some guy in Britain having his dna in like 600 kids. If bin laden could have gotten a faider fan into a sperm bank it'd have been a womd.

alkemical
04-16-2012, 09:11 AM
Did ya see that news item of some guy in Britain having his dna in like 600 kids. If bin laden could have gotten a faider fan into a sperm bank it'd have been a womd.

There's a guy in the US who has fathered a few hundred via spermbanks.

ghwk
04-16-2012, 10:22 AM
Thanks Junkie. My dad was 50 years old when he had me so my perspective on "the way things should be" is a little different. How people have kids at 20 years old just blows me away!

Good luck with the first fishing trip! That's exciting dude. If she doesn't like to fish I hear you can just duct tape a pole to their arm. :~ohyah!:

Having had my second kid in my early fourties my philosphy was that I was trading energy for wisdom by having kids later in life.

They are more than happy to teach me daily--on both counts-- that I was very very wrong. Not enough energy and since you can't rationalize with the buggers wsdom is overrated.

broncosteven
04-16-2012, 12:35 PM
This thread is making me slap my head going WTF have I done.

I have 5 girls, last two were twins, now all teenagers.

Divorced a couple of years ago, Fiancee and I are expecting another girl in 5 weeks.

I can PM my address and leave a key outside for anyone that wants to end my misery now. I have clearly made some poor life choices and wasted a ton of $$$$$$.

I ran to have my procedure after the 2nd was born. I figured if I hit the lottery and landed an 18 year old trophy wife I could endure the pain of the reverse procedure. Until then I am happy with the 2 I got and I can wait for grandkids to spoil.

zdoor
04-16-2012, 12:52 PM
But don't they kind of suck the life out of you?

I have a 3 month old who hasn't sh*t in 6 days, and a 4 year old, who insists on being referred to as an Easter egg.

Soul officially bled dry...

Those ages are really tough...

Shockingly, my kids are actually a help in a lot of ways now... The beatings while they were young paid off ;)

bendog
04-16-2012, 12:56 PM
My kid's remarkably well-adjusted. I don't know how my wife did it with me around. Well, she's been absolutely no use in the yard and not much in housework for the past 17years, so it's not like she hasn't had the time to raise the kid.

DomCasual
04-16-2012, 01:24 PM
I have a 14-year-old son, and a 5-year-old daughter. My only regret is that we couldn't have had more.

They are a pain in the butt - there's no question. But I can honestly say that they make my life. I love being with them. I love watching them grow and learn. When a 14-year-old boy learns something truly important - well, there is just nothing like it. We've had a couple of those experiences in the last two weeks, and it's been priceless. (And let's face it - when you have a 14-year-old son, you DESPERATELY NEED those moments - they are complete idiots, at this age).

And my daughter! My heart is so full, when I'm with her! No offense, but I don't think you can know what I mean, unless you've had a little girl. They get to a part of your heart that is just uncharted territory. That's what makes you so vulnerable, when they hit 16 and make bad choices. But now, everything she does is sweet.

I understand why some people don't have kids. All I can say is that I am extremely grateful that I have them.

Bronco Vixen
04-16-2012, 02:06 PM
When my daughter was 6 or 7 she could tell me from 3 blocks away who was batting for the Rockies by their walk up music (Belliard's up!). Now she won't go to a game with me at 17.

Hang in there. I could score a baseball game before I could say my ABC's. Attending sporting events was one of the few ways my father could actually stand hanging out with me and my sister when we were little. To this day it is one of the few things over which we can still bond. She'll be back.

Bronco Vixen
04-16-2012, 02:09 PM
My kid's remarkably well-adjusted. I don't know how my wife did it with me around. Well, she's been absolutely no use in the yard and not much in housework for the past 17years, so it's not like she hasn't had the time to raise the kid.

Those things just get in the way of Oprah watching and bon bon eating

Bronco Vixen
04-16-2012, 02:15 PM
I have a 14-year-old son, and a 5-year-old daughter. My only regret is that we couldn't have had more.

They are a pain in the butt - there's no question. But I can honestly say that they make my life. I love being with them. I love watching them grow and learn. When a 14-year-old boy learns something truly important - well, there is just nothing like it. We've had a couple of those experiences in the last two weeks, and it's been priceless. (And let's face it - when you have a 14-year-old son, you DESPERATELY NEED those moments - they are complete idiots, at this age).

And my daughter! My heart is so full, when I'm with her! No offense, but I don't think you can know what I mean, unless you've had a little girl. They get to a part of your heart that is just uncharted territory. That's what makes you so vulnerable, when they hit 16 and make bad choices. But now, everything she does is sweet.

I understand why some people don't have kids. All I can say is that I am extremely grateful that I have them.

And then proceed to rip it out of your chest and crush it with their unforgiving fist once they hit their teens.

No seriously, you are right Dom. It reminds me of a quote I once read: "To decide to have children is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." They completely take over your heart and in doing so make you feel so in love, yet so vulnerable.

Ok, enough of this poetic musing. I must now go and clean up a raging house party of gummy vitamins that melted on the laptop before my husband gets home.

bendog
04-16-2012, 02:19 PM
Damn straight. I hated coming home to all the sticky crap.

Now I come home, change clothes, pour a bourbon and start cooking.

tesnyde
04-16-2012, 05:05 PM
This is the first thread that that has ever made my wife get interested in the OM. Delete this sh** of a thread. This my secret place. This is my sanctuary from her and the KIDS.

Dr. Broncenstein
04-16-2012, 05:36 PM
This is the first thread that that has ever made my wife get interested in the OM. Delete this sh** of a thread. This my secret place. This is my sanctuary from her and the KIDS.

Lol you wouldn't happen to live in Myrtle Beach?

broncosteven
04-17-2012, 11:42 AM
I have a 14-year-old son, and a 5-year-old daughter. My only regret is that we couldn't have had more.

They are a pain in the butt - there's no question. But I can honestly say that they make my life. I love being with them. I love watching them grow and learn. When a 14-year-old boy learns something truly important - well, there is just nothing like it. We've had a couple of those experiences in the last two weeks, and it's been priceless. (And let's face it - when you have a 14-year-old son, you DESPERATELY NEED those moments - they are complete idiots, at this age).

And my daughter! My heart is so full, when I'm with her! No offense, but I don't think you can know what I mean, unless you've had a little girl. They get to a part of your heart that is just uncharted territory. That's what makes you so vulnerable, when they hit 16 and make bad choices. But now, everything she does is sweet.

I understand why some people don't have kids. All I can say is that I am extremely grateful that I have them.

I know exactly what you mean.

bendog
04-17-2012, 11:51 AM
my wife thinks I'm watching porn.

gyldenlove
04-17-2012, 11:56 AM
Lol you wouldn't happen to live in Myrtle Beach?

Ooooh you are bringing it back.

bendog
04-17-2012, 03:49 PM
vixen, just for you to look forward too.

My daughter is a wonderful kid. But, last night she didn't say that she needed to be at school early, and had arranged to ride with another girl in carpool who is ... let me put this nicely, as reliable at the public transportion in Afghanistan. So, I limp into the bano to shave at 7:10, and as I'm putting on the aftershave at 7:20, Mrs Dog says, "X isn't here, shall I drive her or shall I."

Mrs Dog is a great Mother, but ... let me put this nicely. As a morning person she's along the lines of a vampire.

So, I grab my running shoes and limp in my sandals to my bag and get wallet phone keys (hey I didn't really need that cup of coffee) and drive my child IN THE RAIN up the interstate, while she nervously twirls her pony tail, and of course some guy is going 45, and some a-hole is trying to go sixty, in a lane that merges onto my interstate, but a lane I also must merge into to catch my exit.

But hey, the kid didn't even see me give 60mph the figure as I cut him off IN THE RAIN. She did say what'd I do? I said "oh not you sweetheart." I don't think I said "mother****er" audibly.

I drop off the kid who has blessedly not gone totally historonic, drive back home IN RUSH HOUR IN THE RAIN to finsish getting dressed to DRIVE IN THE RAIN POST RUSH HOUR to get in an hour late.

It's gonna be super for you in .... say 12 years or so.

Now I get to go home, pour a bourbon and starch some pants cause the ones I wore today got a bit wet.