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Armchair Bronco
11-24-2011, 02:28 PM
Is it just me, or is Woody Paige unreadable? WTF is up with his latest missive on The Denver Post?

"Let's see if we've got this straight: Ex-Broncos quarterback Orton replaces Matt Cassel, who was the quarterback ex-Broncos coach Josh McDaniels actually wanted as the replacement for ex-Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler, who, instead, was traded for ex-Bears quarterback Orton, and Cutler, who is injured, and Orton, it was believed, would become teammates in Chicago, but Orton and Cassel, who is injured, are becoming teammates in Kansas City."

http://www.denverpost.com/paige/ci_19403943

And then we get this gem: "Irony sure is ironical."

:facepalm

Agamemnon
11-24-2011, 02:40 PM
Wow that is one epic run-on sentence...

UberBroncoMan
11-24-2011, 02:41 PM
Is it just me, or is Woody Paige unreadable? WTF is up with his latest missive on The Denver Post?

"Let's see if we've got this straight: Ex-Broncos quarterback Orton replaces Matt Cassel, who was the quarterback ex-Broncos coach Josh McDaniels actually wanted as the replacement for ex-Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler, who, instead, was traded for ex-Bears quarterback Orton, and Cutler, who is injured, and Orton, it was believed, would become teammates in Chicago, but Orton and Cassel, who is injured, are becoming teammates in Kansas City."

http://www.denverpost.com/paige/ci_19403943

And then we get this gem: "Irony sure is ironical."

:facepalm

...that's a lot of commas.

Also...

http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/8098/lolspy.jpg

Gort
11-24-2011, 02:53 PM
Is it just me, or is Woody Paige unreadable? WTF is up with his latest missive on The Denver Post?

"Let's see if we've got this straight: Ex-Broncos quarterback Orton replaces Matt Cassel, who was the quarterback ex-Broncos coach Josh McDaniels actually wanted as the replacement for ex-Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler, who, instead, was traded for ex-Bears quarterback Orton, and Cutler, who is injured, and Orton, it was believed, would become teammates in Chicago, but Orton and Cassel, who is injured, are becoming teammates in Kansas City."

http://www.denverpost.com/paige/ci_19403943

And then we get this gem: "Irony sure is ironical."

:facepalm

i'm guessing, too many appletinis before his turkey souffle today.

extralife
11-24-2011, 03:13 PM
you realize that that sentence is supposed to be confusing, right?

I mean, I know you don't actually realize that, because for all his emptiness and occasional idiocy and definite predilection for writing to form rather than content, Woody is the one guy writing about sports in a national paper with some actual writing talent--but do try to keep up.

and for the love of god don't call something a "run-on" just because it is longer than ten words. a run-on sentence is an actual grammatical problem--a sentence wherein independent clauses are joined without the proper punctuation and/or conjunctions necessary to differentiate them. that is not a run-on sentence.

Armchair Bronco
11-24-2011, 03:18 PM
you realize that that sentence is supposed to be confusing, right?

I mean, I know you don't actually realize that, because for all his emptiness and occasional idiocy and definite predilection for writing to form rather than content, Woody is the one guy writing about sports in a national paper with some actual writing talent--but do try to keep up.

and for the love of god don't call something a "run-on" just because it is longer than ten words. a run-on sentence is an actual grammatical problem--a sentence wherein independent clauses are joined without the proper punctuation and/or conjunctions necessary to differentiate them. that is not a run-on sentence.

Learn how to capitalize your sentences, for the love of God!

http://bakbakee.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/grammar_nazi_logo.jpg

Spin all you want. It's a poorly constructed sentence that isn't even funny. And Woody does this all the time. He insists on writing hard-to-parse compound sentences.

Less is more, Woody! Less is more.

extralife
11-24-2011, 03:24 PM
I don't think you understand. It is not a poorly constructed sentence. It is "complex" (mildly) because Woody wishes to convey the confusion and/or absurdity of the situation he is describing. that's about as by the books as it gets.

this is why people that write for broad audiences are "advised" to write at a fourth grade reading level.

Armchair Bronco
11-24-2011, 03:26 PM
this is why people that write for broad audiences are "advised" to write at a fourth grade reading level.


should be: "...people who write for broad audiences..."

extralife
11-24-2011, 03:27 PM
you'll note I'm not turning this into a debate on grammar, much as you'd like to pretend I am.

Donk
11-24-2011, 03:32 PM
Get out of your armchair and go out in the world. Woody writes like American is spoke out in the working world.

ant1999e
11-24-2011, 03:34 PM
I'm with Extra on this one. It's meant to be a long and confusing sentence to match the situation.
And to correct someone for calling out a writer on a run on sentence which isn't one is hardly being a grammar Nazi.

RhymesayersDU
11-24-2011, 03:47 PM
I love that the guy who starts the thread about the annoying analysts then moves on to a writer.

We get it, guy. You're smarter than everybody else, especially when it comes to talking football. The OMane League of Dorks has its king, apparently.

Armchair Bronco
11-24-2011, 03:58 PM
Call me "Old School", but I think there are lots of ways to show how confusing the situation is without resorting to 12 commas in one sentence.

And the line "Irony sure is ironical." is just a cutesy fail.

"Humor sure is humorous."

"Cute sure is cutesy."

"Fail sure is failure."

TDmvp
11-24-2011, 04:00 PM
http://6inchmove.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/grammar-nazi2.jpg

tesnyde
11-24-2011, 04:51 PM
Call me "Old School", but I think there are lots of ways to show how confusing the situation is without resorting to 12 commas in one sentence.

And the line "Irony sure is ironical." is just a cutesy fail.

"Humor sure is humorous."

"Cute sure is cutesy."

"Fail sure is failure."

Wood sure is woody.

Hamrob
11-24-2011, 04:55 PM
Woody is always a good read, in my opinion. He's not afraid to take a side and stick to it. I like that. He's been right about Tim Tebow all along...and amongst the only writers who have been willing to give the kid a chance.

Woody also wrote about how stupid it was to trade Cutler and why in the world Pat Bowlen would turn his billion dollar franchise over to a 12 year old punk coach.

Woody gets two thumbs up from me! He's the best writer following the Broncos, hands down!!!

Agamemnon
11-24-2011, 05:46 PM
that is not a run-on sentence.

Hilarious!

extralife
11-24-2011, 05:55 PM
Call me "Old School", but I think there are lots of ways to show how confusing the situation is without resorting to 12 commas in one sentence.

that's actually supremely modern. go back and read anything from anything written before the 20th century.

extralife
11-24-2011, 05:57 PM
Hilarious!

that's an awful nice smiley you have there

and yet you are still completely wrong. please take a look at that sentence and show me what part of it makes it a run-on. or maybe I could show you some three hundred word sentences that aren't run-ons instead.

Agamemnon
11-24-2011, 06:15 PM
that's an awful nice smiley you have there

and yet you are still completely wrong. please take a look at that sentence and show me what part of it makes it a run-on. or maybe I could show you some three hundred word sentences that aren't run-ons instead.

There are several different clauses within that one sentence all connected by comma splices. And no, using "who", "and", and "but" over and over again does not properly connect those clauses. You can have fun with the idea of manipulating the rules of grammar so that you don't technically violate them, but no one with any sense is going to go along with you or take you seriously.

ghwk
11-24-2011, 08:37 PM
you'll note I'm not turning this into a debate on grammar, much as you'd like to pretend I am.

You are either Woody or his butt lover. :wave:

extralife
11-24-2011, 09:34 PM
There are several different clauses within that one sentence all connected by comma splices. And no, using "who", "and", and "but" over and over again does not properly connect those clauses. You can have fun with the idea of manipulating the rules of grammar so that you don't technically violate them, but no one with any sense is going to go along with you or take you seriously.

I don't think you know what either a comma splice or a clause is. But sure, no one will "take me seriously" if I am able to parse and/or construct, and certainly discuss, a sentence that would take more know-how or ability than is doled out in middle school to produce. Because no skilled writer would ever stoop to creating such a monstrosity. Certainly not a whose-who of the best writers to ever grace our language over the unfolding centuries. Hemingway syntax or bust, or at least that's what my freshman comp professor wearily mandated after confronted with an unceasing tide of amazing grammatical and compositional inability doled out over years and years of profound incredulity, waning standards, and surging enrollment.

extralife
11-24-2011, 09:36 PM
You are either Woody or his butt lover. :wave:

I mean, I know you don't actually realize that, because for all his emptiness and occasional idiocy and definite predilection for writing to form rather than content, Woody is the one guy writing about sports in a national paper with some actual writing talent--but do try to keep up.

and we're back to the whole comprehension thing.

stopgap
11-24-2011, 09:44 PM
Me thinks someone imbibed a little too much this fine holiday

:angrydrunk:

myMind
11-24-2011, 10:18 PM
The english language began with and has returned to arbitrary roots. Deal with it. We are not insects, there is no hive mind.

bowtown
11-25-2011, 08:07 AM
You are either Woody or his butt lover. :wave:

I hate Woody with the fire of a thousand suns but extra is right here

ghwk
11-25-2011, 09:37 AM
The english language began with and has returned to arbitrary roots. Deal with it. We are not insects, there is no hive mind.

Apparently you don't follow politics today! :~ohyah!:

Dedhed
11-25-2011, 10:20 AM
I guess the notion of literary device is now lost on the vast majority of the populace. Thank you twitter.

Abqbronco
11-25-2011, 10:51 AM
There are several different clauses within that one sentence all connected by comma splices. And no, using "who", "and", and "but" over and over again does not properly connect those clauses. You can have fun with the idea of manipulating the rules of grammar so that you don't technically violate them, but no one with any sense is going to go along with you or take you seriously.

William Faulkner disagrees. Ernest Hemingway, on the other hand, is pleased with your retort.

RhymesayersDU
11-25-2011, 11:01 AM
I guess the notion of literary device is now lost on the vast majority of the populace. Thank you twitter.

So a website that was created 5 years ago and really only gained mass popularity three years ago, single-handedly erased years of literary history?

Is this stupidity, delusion, or trolling?

Dedhed
11-25-2011, 11:04 AM
So a website that was created 5 years ago and really only gained mass popularity three years ago, single-handedly erased years of literary history?

Is this stupidity, delusion, or trolling?
Actually, it's called hyperbole.

RhymesayersDU
11-25-2011, 11:05 AM
ORLY?

Dedhed
11-25-2011, 11:12 AM
ORLY?

Y

Spider
11-25-2011, 11:35 AM
OMT!!!!!!!!!!!! ( oh my Tebow) , in Tebows name AMEN

Paladin
11-25-2011, 11:37 AM
Learn how to capitalize your sentences, for the love of God!

http://bakbakee.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/grammar_nazi_logo.jpg

Spin all you want. It's a poorly constructed sentence that isn't even funny. And Woody does this all the time. He insists on writing hard-to-parse compound sentences.

Less is more, Woody! Less is more.

You are the reincarnation of which bozo?

Broncbow
11-25-2011, 11:38 AM
Shanahan first coach to get canned got the No.2 receiver Jabar Gaffney, and Josh McDaniels second coach to get fired got the No.1 receiver in Brandon Lloyd.

broncocalijohn
11-25-2011, 11:39 AM
Call me "Old School", but I think there are lots of ways to show how confusing the situation is without resorting to 12 commas in one sentence.



I don't know about that. Let me try it out.
"Armchair Bronco, a newbie to this great, popular, alternative, hilarious, informative, helpful and sometimes friendly place we call "The Mane", is all about bitching, crying, polorizing, confusing, opinionating and being a downer in the great country of the red, white and blue."

Hmm, seems I did it with 12 commas and makes perfect sense. :~ohyah!:

Agamemnon
11-25-2011, 12:38 PM
I don't think you know what either a comma splice or a clause is.

::)

Mile High Mojoe
11-25-2011, 12:51 PM
Woody is the only readable writer at the Post. He's been spot on throughout the whole Tebow/Orton debate. In summary he's been saying Orton sucks and that Tebow should start. Orton sucks so bad in fact that no one wanted him, in part because of his insane salary but more so because he's played like a bum for 3 years. End of the story.

broncocalijohn
11-25-2011, 01:06 PM
Woody is the only readable writer at the Post. He's been spot on throughout the whole Tebow/Orton debate. In summary he's been saying Orton sucks and that Tebow should start. Orton sucks so bad in fact that no one wanted him, in part because of his insane salary but more so because he's played like a bum for 3 years. End of the story.

LOL! Figures you would like Woody based on the Tebow analysis. Nobody wanted Orton because of his contract? Seems now we had three teams put in an offer for his services.

Mile High Mojoe
11-25-2011, 01:31 PM
LOL! Figures you would like Woody based on the Tebow analysis. Nobody wanted Orton because of his contract? Seems now we had three teams put in an offer for his services.

Teams have had QB's go down and not many exist so they need a warm body to fill in Orton fits the bill. He's a warm body but not a human body more like a semi-human zombie or more like a stiff with a pulse.

TheElusiveKyleOrton
11-25-2011, 02:34 PM
you realize that that sentence is supposed to be confusing, right?

I mean, I know you don't actually realize that, because for all his emptiness and occasional idiocy and definite predilection for writing to form rather than content, Woody is the one guy writing about sports in a national paper with some actual writing talent--but do try to keep up.

and for the love of god don't call something a "run-on" just because it is longer than ten words. a run-on sentence is an actual grammatical problem--a sentence wherein independent clauses are joined without the proper punctuation and/or conjunctions necessary to differentiate them. that is not a run-on sentence.

Mrs Paige? Is that you?