Blart
11-07-2011, 04:29 PM
I think we've been trolled.
http://jezebel.com/5856817/is-herman-cain-a-joke-for-real?tag=politics
<iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/v9Ze-ejTC7c" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" width="560"></iframe>
Summary
-First there was the Republican presidential debate where Cain quoted a line from a "poet" who turned out to be Pokemon. By itself this is dumb, but not especially meaningful. Maddow now says this is when the whole charade should have begun and ended...and yet it did not.
-Next came his infamous 999 tax plan. When pressed to explain where it came from, he first said it, "was a secret." Then he said it came from a guy who, "works at the local Wells Fargo branch on Chagrin Blvd in a place called Pepper Pike, Ohio." That is a real place, but you know where else they have a 999 plan? In Sim City, which Maddow points out, is a "fake place." Hmm. Moving on!
-Herman Cain recently published a book called This Is Herman Cain! In that book, chapter nine is all about Cain's lucky number 45. That's weird enough, but then when you realize that 4 + 5 = 9, things get deep. Whoa, man, what is he trying to tell us with all these nines?
-So, he releases this book and starts polling well, but unlike most frontrunners, he never sets up a full staff in many of the key states—something that is highly unusual, to say the least. Is he just stupid or is he playing us?
-Another weird (and telling?) moment: when Herman Cain is asked about it, he doesn't deny he's the "Republican flavor of the month." In fact, he does one better and says that he's a specific flavor: Häagen-Dazs Black Walnut. He claims, "Black Walnut has staying power," but it actually doesn't because it was a limited edition flavor that's no longer made. Is Cain's crime simply that he's out of touch with dessert choices, or is he trying to tell us something bigger, something that goes all the way to the top?
-OK, here's the really depressing point, whether he's real or a joke: He doesn't know anything about policy. He admittedly faked an answer on the Palestinian "Right of Return," he does not know what neo-conservatism is, (Blart's edit: didn't know that China had nukes despite working for the Navy) and he can't explain what being pro-life means. And we can't forget this famous quote: "When they ask me who the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan. I'm gonna say, you know, I don't know. Do you know?" Something is definitely wrong with that answer, but is he, as Maddow claims, "trying to let us in on the joke" with this crap? This is starting to get scarrrrrry.
-Those of us who have become paranoid about the number nine will note with great fear that his sexual harassment settlement was dated 9/99. That is crazy, but it gets weirder. He sang "Amazing Grace" while answering questions about the scandal at the National Press Club. And then at another speech, Maddow says, he declared "himself as a performance art project" with this statement: "I'm proud to know the Koch brothers. ... This may be a breaking news announcement for the media. I am the Koch brothers' brother from another mother." Cue Rush Hour 3.
http://jezebel.com/5856817/is-herman-cain-a-joke-for-real?tag=politics
<iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/v9Ze-ejTC7c" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" width="560"></iframe>
Summary
-First there was the Republican presidential debate where Cain quoted a line from a "poet" who turned out to be Pokemon. By itself this is dumb, but not especially meaningful. Maddow now says this is when the whole charade should have begun and ended...and yet it did not.
-Next came his infamous 999 tax plan. When pressed to explain where it came from, he first said it, "was a secret." Then he said it came from a guy who, "works at the local Wells Fargo branch on Chagrin Blvd in a place called Pepper Pike, Ohio." That is a real place, but you know where else they have a 999 plan? In Sim City, which Maddow points out, is a "fake place." Hmm. Moving on!
-Herman Cain recently published a book called This Is Herman Cain! In that book, chapter nine is all about Cain's lucky number 45. That's weird enough, but then when you realize that 4 + 5 = 9, things get deep. Whoa, man, what is he trying to tell us with all these nines?
-So, he releases this book and starts polling well, but unlike most frontrunners, he never sets up a full staff in many of the key states—something that is highly unusual, to say the least. Is he just stupid or is he playing us?
-Another weird (and telling?) moment: when Herman Cain is asked about it, he doesn't deny he's the "Republican flavor of the month." In fact, he does one better and says that he's a specific flavor: Häagen-Dazs Black Walnut. He claims, "Black Walnut has staying power," but it actually doesn't because it was a limited edition flavor that's no longer made. Is Cain's crime simply that he's out of touch with dessert choices, or is he trying to tell us something bigger, something that goes all the way to the top?
-OK, here's the really depressing point, whether he's real or a joke: He doesn't know anything about policy. He admittedly faked an answer on the Palestinian "Right of Return," he does not know what neo-conservatism is, (Blart's edit: didn't know that China had nukes despite working for the Navy) and he can't explain what being pro-life means. And we can't forget this famous quote: "When they ask me who the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan. I'm gonna say, you know, I don't know. Do you know?" Something is definitely wrong with that answer, but is he, as Maddow claims, "trying to let us in on the joke" with this crap? This is starting to get scarrrrrry.
-Those of us who have become paranoid about the number nine will note with great fear that his sexual harassment settlement was dated 9/99. That is crazy, but it gets weirder. He sang "Amazing Grace" while answering questions about the scandal at the National Press Club. And then at another speech, Maddow says, he declared "himself as a performance art project" with this statement: "I'm proud to know the Koch brothers. ... This may be a breaking news announcement for the media. I am the Koch brothers' brother from another mother." Cue Rush Hour 3.